by Ann Gimpel
She dug deep, pouring magic through the reservoir that held her power. She didn’t stop until she ran wide open. At first, she thought the wolf had exaggerated. If there were really a wolf inside her at all. Maybe she was hallucinating. Imagining someone had dropped out of nowhere to save her from the void. She was desperate to escape before her mind crumbled to nothing. Welcoming an imaginary savior wasn’t beyond the pale.
“You have to believe.” The wolf’s voice was strained.
Of course. She knew that. Magic depended on believing in it, ceding control, and suspending a natural disbelief in what you couldn’t see and smell and touch.
Ilona pictured a wolf in her mind’s eye. The one that formed was dark gray with lighter gray markings. It was beautiful. She wanted it to be free.
“Perfect. I can do this. Hold steady.”
Ilona sucked in a breath, holding it. Even though she girded herself, she wasn’t ready for the excruciating pain that attacked her from all sides. Her head exploded. Spots danced before her eyes. Bones cracked, skin stretched and contracted at the same time. Shrieks rang around her, tortured cries that hurt her ears, but she couldn’t shut down the agony emerging from her mouth.
She wanted to ask the wolf how much more, but didn’t have the energy to do anything but hang on by her toenails. Or maybe she had claws by now. In a deep, secret part of herself, she wanted the wolf to be real. She truly wanted to be a shifter. Wanted their enhanced magic and her very own bond animal. It would make loving Jamal easier too, but he wanted her no matter what kind of magic she held.
His unconditional acceptance burned a path through her, and the pain began to ease.
“Is it done?” She tried to form words, couldn’t, and repeated the question in telepathy. “Is it done?”
“Yes. You can’t speak because you no longer have human vocal chords.”
She moved her limbs to test the reality of a different body, arched a shorter spine. Elation raced through her like high voltage, and a series of triumphant howls filled the void.
“Easy,” the wolf cautioned. “That was only the first part. We still have to get out of here.”
“How do we do that?” She was so excited, she ran in circles, extended claws digging into the fabric of the void.
“Cede our shared consciousness to me. Meara wasn’t certain of this, but according to our legends, this place is only for Romani whose spirits have lost connection with their bodies.”
“Go on.” Her tongue lolled. She felt it drag out one side of her jaws.
“I will keep this simple. I’m going to envision the place I left everyone and use our shared magic to open a path. Once it’s there, we will walk out of here.”
“It can’t be that easy.”
“We won’t know until we try. Picture Jamal. That will help.”
Ilona sorted what belonged to her and what belonged to the wolf. It took a while because she wasn’t used to sharing her mind. Once she’d shunted control to the wolf, she let Jamal’s face rise before her. His beautiful tawny hair and haunting liquid eyes with their amber centers.
“Believe in us,” the wolf reminded her.
A shiny path lined with pointed rocks unfolded before them. They hurt her pads, but she didn’t whimper when the wolf loped along the glittering footpath. It appeared before them as they needed it, and she suspected it vanished behind them, but she didn’t look back. Somehow, she deduced it wasn’t permitted by this particular brand of magic.
Voices blasted out of nowhere, buffeting her from all sides.
“You cannot leave.”
“Cannot leave.”
“It’s not permitted.”
“You broke the rules. You’re still Romani.”
“No. She’s not.”
“She tricked us. Tricked us. Tricked us.” The final word turned to a howling sibilance, and something grabbed her from one side.
Ilona couldn’t see, but she closed her jaws around where she thought the attack came from. A bitter cry told her she’d hit gold even though it felt like she’d bitten through air.
“Never mind that,” the wolf urged. “Faster. We’re almost there.”
They ran and ran. Her breath came fast as she panted, still not used to the wolf’s body. The voices came and went. So did hands that slid through her fur. Finally, just when she’d decided the wolf’s almost there estimate was so much hype, the black ceded to gray.
She blinked against the unexpected light, narrowing her eyes to slits. To her surprise, an eyelid she didn’t possess as a human shielded her from some of the brightness. She was still running hard when the gray shattered and she dropped onto sandy earth in front of a gypsy wagon.
Thinking with her dual consciousness didn’t come easy, and it took her a moment to recognize the wagon as Stewart’s.
Jamal scooped her into a hug, digging his hands into her fur. “Ilona. Christ! I am so glad to see you. You’re beautiful.”
She wriggled in his embrace, licking his hands and face, but she didn’t want to lose sight of the reason she was here.
“Thank you,” she told her wolf. “I probably don’t fully understand the risks you took, but thanks for the boot in the ass.”
“You’re welcome.” The wolf sounded pleased with itself.
Stewart pushed in front of her, joined by Meara, Elliott, and Tairin all talking at once. Cadr and Vreis crowded close too.
“Silence.” Stewart held up both hands and knelt next to her. “’Tis grateful I am that this worked. ’Twas far closer than I would have liked.”
“You’ll have to tell me more when I’m human again.” She licked his hands and his chin.
“You have to let me through,” a familiar voice shrilled. “She’s my sister.”
Aron.
With Jamal still hanging onto her, Ilona twisted in time to see her brother force his way through a crowd of gypsies and shifters. He stopped dead, staring at her, and then sent a jot of uncertain magic zinging toward her.
Jamal let go of her. “Go to him,” he urged.
“It’s me,” Ilona said and padded to Aron. Her pads were sore from the magical path that had led out of the hellish void, but it was a small price, given she and her wolf were free.
“That’s what my magic says.” Aron rocked from foot to foot, looking ever so much better than when she’d been dragged from his side in the prison camp.
“Trust it. Magic never lies.” She dropped onto her haunches, waiting.
Aron’s features worked with emotion and he launched himself to where she sat, wrapping his arms around her. “Sissy. Aw, Jesus, Sissy. I was so worried about you. The women, they kept telling me not to fret, but you were gone a long time.”
“How long?”
“Two days since I showed up here.”
Shock boiled through her. She’d only thought a few hours had passed. She leaned into Aron, reassuring him with her touch and licking his face.
Jamal walked over to them and placed a hand on Aron’s shoulder. “Thanks for all your help working with me to draw Ilona back from where she was lost. Looks like the women took good care of you.”
Aron glanced up and grinned. “You’re welcome, and they did. It was like having half a dozen mothers.”
Ilona looked down her snout at her brother. “My recollection was you weren’t overly fond of having even one.”
“True enough, but that was only when she was telling me what to do.” Aron rolled to his feet. “We’ll talk more when you’re back in your Sissy form.”
“Indeed we will.”
“What would you like to do?” Jamal asked her.
“What do you mean?”
“I could shift and we could hunt for a bit, or you could shift back to human.”
“What do you want to do?” she asked her wolf.
“Why ask me?”
“You’re the true hero here. You took a huge chance on me and then made sure I didn’t blow it by not believing in the gift you offered.”
; “If it’s truly my choice, let’s hunt with Jamal’s wolf.”
“I heard that.” Jamal grinned. “Give me a minute and I’ll take off my clothes. I already ruined one set while we tried to rescue you. The folks here will get tired of offering me shirts and pants if all I do is shred them.”
She tilted her chin. “Can I watch?”
“Sure, but you have to follow me to where you’re the only one who can.” He quirked a brow. “Got to give a fellow some privacy.”
Meara dropped a hand onto her shoulder and Ilona twisted to meet her gaze. “Welcome to the pack, sister. You have half an hour to indulge your wolf, who was indeed a hero. Then I expect you back here. Nothing’s changed, and we still have battle plans to craft.”
“We hear and obey,” Ilona’s wolf spoke up.
Its formal tone surprised her. She had a whole lot to learn about who she was now. Maybe Elliott would help since he was in the same situation…
“Coming?” Jamal asked.
“Yes. Meet you on the far side of the barrier.” She turned to Aron. “I’m so happy you’re safe.”
“No one’s truly safe,” he murmured, “but at least I’m still alive to do battle with those Nazi bastards.”
“That’s true for me too. Not much I could’ve done from where I was trapped.”
“I want to hear more about that.” He stroked her fur.
“And I want to hear what happened after you left Dachau.”
“It’s a deal.” He smiled gamely.
With a final nuzzle to Aron’s hands, she trotted after Jamal. Everything else could wait.
Chapter 18
A Few Minutes Before
Jamal watched the ball of gray light explode. Shifters and Rom had been holding it together with their combined magic, but it eluded their control. His heart shattered right along with it. Where was Ilona? Had the wolf even found her?
He thought he’d felt them moving closer, but their magic had imploded. Maybe he’d been wrong about sensing them at all. He raced into the center of the most powerful casting he’d ever been part of. The air still pounded, pulsing with magic that pricked his skin and made his bones feel like mush. Surrounded by crashing, pounding power, he felt her still and reached with everything in him. His magical well was low, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that did was the woman he loved. Stewart and Meara flanked him, adding their magic to his and chanting furiously.
In a blaze of blinding light, Ilona burst from the center of the shimmery magic. Breath whooshed from him, and heat filled his chest with relief so profound it almost brought him to his knees. Her wolf was stunning. Dark gray with lighter gray markings, and her same turbulent gray eyes.
He threw himself to the ground and wrapped her in a tight embrace, still not believing their gamble had worked when every other approach failed. She was a shifter now. Just like him. She’d said she wanted it, but would she resent being forced into changing her magical identity?
Only time would tell.
Right now, his heart spilled over and cracked open from unbridled happiness. She was here, and she was still his, judging from her effusive tongue.
“All is well between Ilona and her wolf,” his wolf reassured him.
Jamal didn’t press for details. It didn’t work that way. Conversation between the bond animals was private. It would be wrong for him to probe.
After the first rush of greetings, he’d suggested a hunt. She needed to get used to her bond animal’s form, and that was one of the easiest ways. Surely her first shift had been excruciating, particularly at her age. He’d ask about it, but not right now. Now was a time to glory in their animals’ sleekly muscled forms.
“Ha! Made it in time to see you strip,” she said as she ran lightly to him.
“How do you know I didn’t wait for you?” He smiled. Joy was very near the surface. It ran counter to his usually taciturn nature, but he didn’t push it away. They’d earned these moments. He’d be a fool to throw them away in favor of caution.
“Even better.” Her tail swished from side to side, and she locked her gray gaze on him. “Hurry. Meara only gave us half an hour.”
Jamal unlaced stout boots and tossed his borrowed pants and shirt atop them. The shift magic took him, fluid and righter than it had ever felt because his mate stood by his side. She took off running and he gave chase, catching her tail in his teeth and giving it a swish.
“Do you know the best thing about this, other than having you back?” he asked.
She turned, flanks heaving, eyes shining. “No. Tell me.”
“Everyone laid their differences aside. Rom worked next to shifter. Everyone gave getting you back everything they had.”
“I didn’t plan to have this conversation as wolves, but where exactly was I?”
“In the place between worlds where the Rom spirit guides live. They’re Rom who got separated from their bodies for too long and couldn’t find their way back.”
“Aha. Those must have been the voices that told me I’d never leave.”
“At least according to Stewart, if you’d been there much longer, you never would have. It’s why Meara gave permission for me to bite you.”
Breath plumed from Ilona’s open mouth. “It will take time for me to figure out how all this works, but how’d you come up with a bondmate for me on short notice?”
“You could have asked me,” her wolf joined the conversation.
“Okay, if I asked you the same question, what would you say?”
“That I’m a sucker for challenges.”
“It was my wolf,” Jamal said. “It found a wolf willing to risk going after you.”
Ilona bowed her head formally. “Thank you.”
“You’re most welcome,” Jamal’s wolf replied. “We’re wasting valuable time. Can we hunt now?”
Whuffling laughter rose from Ilona. “I’ve eaten plenty of mice and rats raw as a human.”
“They’re far better when you’re a wolf,” her wolf informed her.
Jamal raised his snout, scenting the air. When he caught a whiff of nearby prey, he crept toward it. Ilona followed, staying downwind so the creatures wouldn’t scatter.
When he got close, he executed a practiced leap and brought his front paws down on three mice who’d made the mistake of remaining right next to each other. Ilona sashayed close and snapped up two of them, crunching through small bones.
“Amazing,” she said. “Who’d have thought they’d taste so good? They’re scrumptious, succulent.”
“Another wolf,” Jamal made short work of his own mouse and deployed both nose and ears locating more game. Ilona had to be half-starved. She’d gone for days with nothing to eat.
His time sense as a wolf wasn’t particularly sharp, but he herded them back to where he’d left his clothes when he was certain they’d used up their allotted half hour.
“Look!” Ilona trotted to his pile of clothes. Someone had laid a skirt and tunic atop the heap along with a cream-colored wool sweater, stockings, and her shoes.
Jamal summoned shift magic and started to dress. “Guess someone didn’t want you to have to walk back into the camp stark naked.”
She milled around the clothing heap, nosing it, and whining.
“What’s wrong?” Jamal knelt next to her to slip his stockings and boots back on.
The gray wolf hung its head. “My wolf says shifting back won’t be as bad, but it hurt when I shifted. A lot. Not saying I’m not going to find my body. I’m gearing up for it, but it’s like sticking my hand into a flame.”
He wrapped his arms around her wolf form, stroking her rough outercoat. “It gets better. One of the problems was you were so old.”
“Thanks.”
He held her tighter. “Not what I meant, and you know it. Everyone’s first shift is excruciating, but the pain doesn’t last as long when you’re twelve or thirteen. After a few transformations, you’ll be able to walk through the change with no more discomfort than a mild, cramping
sensation.”
“My wolf says to turn things over to it.”
He scratched behind her ears. “Do you believe it?”
“I do. I didn’t when it first showed up in my mind. Figured it was one more manifestation of the voices that had been tormenting me.”
“What made the difference?”
“I thought about you. And I had nothing to lose. I’d tried to get out of where I was with every spell at my disposal. None of them worked.”
“Shift,” he urged. “Don’t think about it, just do it.”
She paced away from him, panting from nervousness. The air developed a familiar shimmer, and Ilona stepped through. Her body was striking with full, high breasts, a flat stomach, and hips that flared to long, shapely legs. Jamal could have gazed at her forever, and his blood heated with desire.
Smiling, she threw herself into his arms and wound her arms around his back. “You were right. It wasn’t all that bad this time. Much faster and not nearly as intense.”
“I was right too,” her wolf said, sounding pleased as only a bond animal could.
“Thank you as well,” Ilona told it.
She tilted her head back, eyes glittering with adoration. Her full lips were parted, and he wanted to kiss her, but they’d had their playtime. It wasn’t fair to the rest of the group for them to take more time for themselves. Besides, if he kissed her, he wasn’t at all sure he’d have the discipline to stop there.
“I know.” She kissed him once. Fast. Sweet. Before he could crush his mouth down over hers for a more satisfactory connection, she squirmed out of his embrace and squatted next to the clothing pile, dressing hurriedly.
“Guess we’re lucky it wasn’t raining. Clothes do dry, but they’re unpleasant to put on when they’re wet.” She straightened. “Catch me up. Aron looks like he’ll make a full recovery.”
“He will. Once the Rom women got hold of him, they dosed him with a decoction of herbs that cleared whatever infection was causing his fever. He’s been eating like a horse, which isn’t surprising. And he was determined to help me when I cast spell after spell, trying to lure you back. Those Romani spirit guides sure held on tight.”