by Naomi Niles
“Don’t tell Dylan what happened.”
Maddie’s face immediately clouded over. “Lizzie …”
“Please. I don’t want to bring him into this,” I said fervently. “This is my mess. There’s no reason to involve him in it.”
Maddie sighed. “Ok,” she said.
“Thank you,” I nodded.
All I craved now was silence.
Once it was all done, Maddie drove me home. She offered to stay with me for a few hours, but I just wanted to crawl into my bed and be alone for a little while. Elvis rushed to my feet the moment I opened the door and I lifted him up and walked into my bedroom. I didn’t bother to turn on the lights; I just kicked off my shoes and crawled under the covers with Elvis.
It was cool, comfortable, and dark under the comforter, and once the silence settled in and I could really absorb what had happened, I started to cry. The memories of my short-lived marriage came rushing back to me and I realized that I hadn’t moved on as much as I thought I had. I still lived with demons in my head, with doubts rushing around inside me preventing me from really living my life.
I thought about Dylan and instantly I felt awful. I had made him responsible for my happiness. I had projected my hopes and dreams on him and relieved myself of tat duty but now I understood how wrong I was. He wasn’t responsible for my happiness. No one was but me. I was the one who had control over my life; I should be the one to protect myself. Dylan was a hero and I believed that, but he should never have been my hero.
If I ever needed saving, I would have to save myself.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dylan
I could hear the dial tone and the subsequent ringing, but she didn’t pick up. It was the third time I’d called her in two days and she didn’t seem very interested in answering her phone. I cut the line in frustration and stared at the receiver. I missed her and I wanted to see her, but apparently she didn’t share the feeling.
She had picked up two days ago only to tell me that she was busy with work and that she couldn’t meet me just yet. I hadn’t thought anything of it but now I was starting to doubt that everything was fine. I wondered momentarily if she had heard about the girls I had danced with at the bar a couple of nights ago. Lizzie had never been the jealous type and it’s not like we were exclusive or anything. Still, it floated around in my mind and I couldn’t let it go. The dancing and flirting had been innocent, and it’s not like I’d even kissed one of those women. I had had no interest in kissing any one of them.
I ground my teeth together and dialed in her number again and again there was no answer. Finally I heard the beep go off and Lizzie’s recorded message telling me to leave a message and she would get back to me.
“Lizzie,” I said. “I’ve tried calling a few times … are you all right? Is everything ok? I know you said you were busy but … I don’t know … just call me when you get this ok?”
I hung up, frustrated with my confused and blubbering message. I thought of calling back and trying to re-do it, but that would only make me look more desperate. I lay back in my bed not knowing what to do with all this free time I had on my hands. I realized that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything anyway as long as Lizzie kept avoiding me.
I waited till dinner, ate with mom, and then I rode down to Dillard’s on my motorbike. The night was cool and crisp; it was the perfect night for a stroll or a hearty dinner but I wasn’t in the mood for any of those things. I felt almost obsessive as I entered the bar but I couldn’t suppress the feeling. I walked up to the skinny bartender behind the counter.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” he responded. “What can I get you?”
“Actually, I need to speak to one of your waitresses,” I replied.
“Joni?” he asked. “Or Heather?”
“Neither,” I shook my head. “Her name is Lizzie … Elizabeth.”
“Oh,” he nodded. “Sure she works here but she’s not in today.”
“She’s not?”
“She called in sick,” he replied. “Actually she’s called in sick the last couple of days.”
“Did she tell you what was wrong?” I asked.
“I think she said it was the flu.”
“The flu?”
“I had no reason not to believe her,” he said giving me a curious look.
“Right, ok,” I nodded. “Thanks.”
“Sure,” the bartender nodded and went back to mixing drinks. I walked out of the bar and got my phone out. I scrolled through my contact list and found Maddie’s number. She answered on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Maddie?” I asked. “This is Dylan.”
“Dylan?” she repeated my name sounding slightly surprised and a little reluctant at the same time. “What can I do for you?”
“Well … I’m calling to ask after Lizzie actually,” I admitted. “She’s been kind of MIA these past few days and I was just wondering why?”
She hesitated pointedly and I knew something was up. My instincts whizzed to life and I knew that Lizzie had lied about being sick. There was a bigger reason at play here.
“She’s sick,” Maddie replied and I could sense the lie plain on her tongue.
“No she’s not,” I said immediately. “Come on, Maddie; tell me what’s wrong?”
Maddie sighed. “I promised her I wouldn’t tell you.”
I said nothing for a heartbeat. “She made you promise not to tell me?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“If I told you I’d be telling you,” Maddie replied. “I’d be breaking my promise.”
“Make it up to her later,” I said insistently. “Just tell me.”
“Don’t put me in this position, Dylan.”
“Did I do something to upset her?” I asked. “Because you have to know I would never do anything to intentionally cause her any pain. I thought she knew that.”
“I think she does,” Maddie nodded. “I … don’t think this has anything to do with you, Dylan.”
I groaned helplessly. “I’m going to go over to her place.”
“Wait, Dylan,” Maddie said quickly.
“What?”
“I don’t know if that’s a very good idea.”
“Why?” I demanded impatiently.
Maddie didn’t say anything.
“Ok, listen,” I said. “One way or the other I’m going to find out what happened, so you can tell me now or you can let me find out on my own. Which way would you prefer?”
Maddie sighed. “I forgot how stubborn you can be.”
I almost smiled. “Does that mean you’re going to tell me?”
“Lizzie and I went out a few nights ago … I think it was the night you were meeting your buddies for a drink,” Maddie said. “We got some frozen yogurt and we were walking around when we ran into Paul … or Paul ran into us, rather.”
“Paul?” I said feeling my anger rise up instinctively at the sound of his name.
“Yes,” Maddie replied. “He seemed a bit out of sorts.”
“Hard to believe,” I said bitterly.
“He was probably a little drunk too,” Maddie continued. “But I couldn’t really tell. He seemed more contrite than usual and he wanted to have a word with Lizzie … alone.”
“Don’t tell me she went off with him,” I said in disbelief.
“You know Lizzie,” Maddie sighed. “She’s not a cruel person; she’s not mean to anyone, even if they deserve it. She wanted to avoid a scene so she agreed to talk to him.”
“What happened?”
“She went off with him and then not even ten minutes later I heard her screaming my name,” Maddie explained. “She told me they’d been talking and then Paul told her that he still loved her and wanted her back. When she resisted him he got …”
“He got what?” I demanded.
“He got a little difficult,” Maddie replied. “Lizzie pushed him off her but he
still wouldn’t let up. So she slapped him across the face—”
“Good,” I said immediately.
“But then …”
“But then?”
“He slapped her back.”
“What?” I exclaimed in outrage.
“Neither one of us realized how badly he had hit her,” Maddie continued. “Her cheek was swollen up and she had a bad bruise on the side of her face, but neither one of us suspected anything else was wrong.”
“What do you mean?” I asked desperately. “What else was wrong?”
“He hit her close to her eye,” Maddie explained. “He hit a vein in Lizzie’s eye.”
“That fucker,” I said through gritted teeth. After a moment I realized I was shaking.
“Calm down, Dylan,” Maddie said quickly. “It won’t help the situation if you fly into a rage and confront Paul. All that will do is land you in jail, even temporarily, and that’s not going to make Lizzie feel any better. She called in sick from work because she doesn’t want anyone to see her just yet, at least until her bruise has gone down and everything has healed.”
“What’s being done about Paul?” I asked.
“It’s already taken care of,” Maddie replied. “We filed a complaint against him and Lizzie has a restraining order against him. He won’t be able to get close to her anymore.”
I was furious but I recognized that I couldn’t just go off, find Paul, and make him pay for what he had done to Lizzie. I was sorely tempted to, but I knew that it would only scare Lizzie. She hated violence and she hated men who sought after it.
“Thanks for telling me,” I said and hung up before Maddie could say another word.
I knew I was being rude but I couldn’t focus on that at the moment. My only desire was to get to Lizzie as fast as I could. I wondered why she hadn’t told me. Did she think I wouldn’t have been able to handle the situation or maybe she didn’t want me to see her face? Either way, I was going to go see her whether she liked it or not.
I rode over there and went up to her apartment. I noticed the lights were all on in the house and I could hear her cat meowing. I stayed silent and pressed my ear against her apartment door. I could hear Lizzie’s soft footsteps as she moved around the apartment and I could even hear her murmur to the cat, though I couldn’t distinguish between the words.
I straightened up and knocked loudly. I sensed her freeze from inside and I waited to see what she would do. I kept knocking irrationally, fueled by anger at what had been done to her.
“Lizzie,” I said loudly when she didn’t answer. “It’s me. Open the door now.”
I kept knocking until the door swung open and she was standing there in front of me. There was a purple bruise running down her right cheek and her right eye looked bloodshot and weak. I stared at her face thinking about the injustice of life. She did not deserve this.
“What did he do to you?” I whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Elizabeth
I took out the ice pack from the freezer and held it up to my sore cheek as Elvis purred at my feet. “Hold on, greedy guts,” I said fondly. “I’ll get your dinner in a second.”
I felt relief flood my body as the ice numbed the right side of my face. I leaned against the kitchen counter waiting till the soreness had ebbed somewhat. I was just about to put it away when someone started banging on my door. I froze in shock and my first thought was that Paul was drunk and he had come to find me.
“The gun,” I whispered moving instinctively towards the little gun I had in my bedroom drawer for safety. I had almost reached my bedroom when I heard him speak.
“Lizzie, it’s me,” Dylan’s voice was clear as day. “Open the door now.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at myself in the mirror. Things didn’t look as bad as they had a few days ago. My eye had healed fast even though it still looked tired and a little bloodshot. The bruise on my cheek was clearing up too; soon it would turn yellow and pale before it disappeared for good. I had no doubt that he had found out about Paul, and a part of me was glad I didn’t have to tell him.
I changed course and went for my front door. He kept banging against it as though he were scared I wouldn’t let him in. I opened the door and his hand froze mid knock. He stared at me for a moment, taking in my appearance.
“What did he do to you?” he asked.
I shrugged it off as though it wasn’t a big deal. “This?” I asked. “This is nothing.”
“That bastard!”
“Come in and lower your voice,” I said ushering him inside. “I don’t want my neighbors knowing more than they need to.”
He walked inside and I could tell from the set of his jaw that he was angry, very angry. I closed the door and turned to face him wishing I remembered what I looked like. He was staring at my face but his eyes were on the bruise on my cheek.
“The bruise will disappear soon,” I said breaking the silence. “I’m starting work next week.”
“That bastard,” he said again and I heard the fury in his voice. I had never seen him like this before. It was a different kind of anger, the kind that burned slow and hot. I could feel it rise off of him and it scared me more because it was so controlled.
“Dylan,” I said carefully as I reached out tentatively and took his hand. “I’m fine, it’s just a small bruise.”
“Small?” Dylan repeated incredulously.
“Come and sit down,” I said pulled him towards my sofa. It took some effort to get him moving but he finally sunk down onto the sofa and I sat down opposite him.
“How did you find out?” I asked.
Dylan glanced up at me and I knew instantly who had told him.
“Maddie huh?” I said with interest. “I expected more of her.”
“Don’t be mad at Maddie,” Dylan said quickly. “She tried very hard to keep it from me, but …”
“But?”
“You know I can be annoyingly persistent when I want to be,” Dylan replied. “And I was going to come here anyway. I think she figured it was best that I had the information before I came over.”
I nodded.
“Maddie told me you went to the police station?”
“We did,” I nodded. “I have a restraining order out against Paul now.”
“Does he know that?”
“I’m sure he does by now,” I nodded.
“Did he … have anything to say about that?”
“I got an apology card in the mail yesterday with some flowers,” I admitted. “It was addressed to me from Paul.”
“It’s just like that arrogant cocksucker to think he hit you and then be forgiven with some cheap gesture.”
“It’s more than I’ve gotten from him in the past,” I sighed.
“It sounds like you’re defending him,” Dylan pointed out, his tone was chipped and hard.
“I’m not,” I said shaking my head.
“No?” Dylan asked. “He should be in jail.”
“Dylan …”
“You don’t think he deserves to be there?” Dylan asked. “If you are the type of man who can hit a woman once, then you’re the type of man who can hit any woman at any time.”
“He was drunk, and he seemed … depressed, I guess,” I said. “I don’t think he knew what he was doing. It was like an instinctive reaction to the fact that I slapped him first.”
“It certainly sounds like you’re defending him,” Dylan said and his tone grew cold again.
I sighed. “I’m trying to be fair.”
“Well stop,” Dylan said harshly. “Life isn’t fair, the things that have happened to you aren’t fair, and as far as I can tell, Paul has been the main reason for all of them.”
“I don’t want to talk about Paul anymore,” I said firmly. “Except to say that I hope you don’t try and get involved with this.”
“What does that mean?”
“It just means, if you see him in the street, ignore him,” I said.
&
nbsp; “You’re trying to protect him?”
“I don’t give a fuck about him,” I said raising my voice. “I care about you, and I don’t want you involved in this. It’s my mess, not yours, and I'm perfectly capable of handling it on my own. I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Dylan.”
He stared at me for a moment and then he smiled unexpectedly. “I know that,” he said at last. “You never needed one. I just liked thinking of myself in that role.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that confession. “And I appreciate that you want to step into that role for me, but it’s unnecessary.”
“Ok then,” Dylan said with a small sigh. “I will hand over my armor to you.”
“Thanks.”
Dylan hesitated for a moment. “But …”
“Yes?”
“It’s taken care of right?” Dylan asked. “I mean, the restraining order will hold; Paul won’t be able to hurt you again?”
“Of course it’ll hold,” I nodded. “I’ll make sure it does.”
Dylan nodded and he seemed a little more at ease. He took a deep breath and I saw his body relax visibly. He looked over at me and I saw his eyes study my face. “You need to put some ice on that bruise.”
“I was about to do that when you started hammering on my door.”
Dylan got up and walked over to the fridge. I came back with the ice pack and pressed it against the side of my face. The ice burned but it sent waves of relief through my body. He waited till he had iced the bruise well and then he returned the ice pack back to the fridge.
“Come here,” he said when he got back to the couch. “I want to hold you.”
I felt my whole body lean in towards him, craving the touch of his hands on mine, but my mind was sending me warning signals. The last week had made me realize a few different things. I did have feelings for Dylan and they were stronger than was healthy but I also knew that we couldn’t hope to sustain a relationship after he left Bastrop. I needed to keep my feelings in check no matter how hard that was.
I hesitated only for a moment before I moved closer to him and rested my head against his chest with my feet pulled up on the sofa. He kissed my forehead and the top of my head and I listened to the steady beat of his heart, trying to commit the feeling of intimacy to memory.