Finally, I understood. “The Loa are more powerful because they demand worship, and were strengthened by the Vodoun.”
“They also got a powerful hit from me when Lex died. I think that’s how they got enough power to cross over during the ritual.” She winced. “My bad.”
Her acceptance of her mistakes, desire to set them right and respect of the natural order infused me with awe.
Rubbing her forehead, she glanced at me sheepishly. “See, right then the energy flowing from you to me increased.
“How did it feel?”
“Energizing. Like when your sleepy and cold wind slaps your face.”
Perturbed, I panicked silently. “This is not easy to accept.”
“Listen before you revert to looming. Tomorrow I’ll be the badass godling you expect. Right now, see me as a girl so deep in love it hurts to breathe.” She stared into my eyes. Rae wasn’t afraid to let me see how much she needed this. “I want to curl up in Breandan’s arms. I’ve talked myself into accepting my scars.” She shrugged. “For a few hours I won’t feel ugly standing next to my insanely hot life mate.”
I softened at her frankness. “To Breandan you are beautiful.” Magnanimous, I thumbed her chin. “And to me now.”
“I know.”
My lips twitched.
“I want Breandan to forget he can’t touch another living thing without it withering. I want him to forget my weakness made him this way.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and she scrubbed at them with the back of her hand. “How better to make him forget than by making him feel alive? He deserves happiness. He believed in me when you and everybody else didn’t. When I didn’t. So I’m going to make him happy.” Her voice lowered. “I’m going to make him kill again. All he does is stand by my side, to protect me, and it makes him a killer.”
“At least you admit it now. I told you, you would be the ruin of him.”
She nodded. “So understand before I tear another piece of him apart I will make him smile.” She went starry eyed. “There’s nothing more breathtaking than his smile.”
When her jaw slackened at some memory, I snapped my fingers in her face.
“Lochlann, with respect and love, back the hell off. I’m ordering you to take it easy. I can totally do that now. Go back to bossing everybody around tomorrow.”
“If I demand you tell me?”
“I will kick your ass. Hard.” Eyes slitted, she went for the kill. “Publically.”
“Rae–”
“If you can’t do it for me do it for Breandan?”
Guilt, outrage and shame warred within me until I amazed myself by settling on amused. “I’m freakishly tall?”
Tinkling a laugh, she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “Yeah, you are.”
After an awkward pause, I hugged her back. I rested my cheek on her head and chuckled. “Say-so, little sister. Say-so.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Breandan
The day took its toll. Giving Lochlann and Kalcifer room to converse in private, I prepared myself to further stall my brother on Rae’s behalf.
I hurried up the inclining pathway and considered taking a short cut to reach the dwellings a reasonable amount of time before my Elder.
Gunarr slinked from the shadows to keep pace at my side. “The Pack Alpha is unstable.”
I agreed, but Kalcifer had ample reason to cross the threshold of lunacy. Fallen prey to their baser natures, the strongest fighters in his Pack followed the Loa rather than heed his commands. He was shamed, and his people vulnerable. “Kalcifer has reason to be volatile. He and his Pack will recover.”
“The human returns to Temple this eve.”
“Go with him.”
“They will never accept us.”
The bitter words stirred my sympathy. “Persevere. You pave the way for others.”
Gunnar swerved into my path, effectively blocking it.
Moving him aside would be an effortless thing, but he noticeably struggled with something he felt deserved attention.
So I stared, not bothering to hide my frustration.
“Why do you insist on peace with the Sect,” he asked, “because your life mate desires it? Her allegiance is misplaced.”
“Peace is a state we must strive for regardless of its initial sponsor, something we used to inherently understand as a people.”
“We adapted to survive. The Rupture–”
“Does not serve as an excuse to abandon core principles.” I fixed him a censorious look. “I have not forgotten the perversion you embraced at Devlin’s tithe.”
His sharply pointed chin angled up. “I am unapologetic.”
“I cannot judge after my behaviour since meeting Rae, I simply have not forgotten.” Pushing my tongue into the back of my front teeth, my brows plunged. Gunarr’s opinion was hardly the only of its kind. Teaching him the value of distilling old traditions into modernised life, life that included interaction with other species would mature him into a Warrior under my Elder’s instruction. Gunarr was older than me in years, but far more limited in perspective. “Not considering our individual behaviour the purpose of the fae is to promote harmony.”
“You think taking one human into our confidence achieves this?”
“Samuel is a good man. He will initiate change.”
Gunarr appeared unconvinced. “The young Disciples adjusted to my presence, but the older Clerics were unsettled. Rifles were thrust in my face every other step.” He motioned to his green skin. “My appearance is too strange to them, my habits foreign. Perhaps one of Lochlann’s Knights glib of tongue with magics to glamour is better suited to the task of ambassador.” His voice took on an uncustomary lilt of hope at the end.
He was hopeful I’d relocate him elsewhere. That streak of reluctance sealed his fate.
“I trust you to continue as you are. The humans show faith in Samuel despite his radical approach to dealing with demons. With him at the helm, Lochlann has a chance to rebuild the Tribe’s losses. The humans need this chance too. If the fae accept them, so will the rest of demonkind.”
“Cleric Samuel is too young.” Gunarr’s voice returned to its unemotional monotone. “He has no experience giving orders. He’s used to following.”
“Then throwing our support behind him can only be beneficial. He brings a fresh perspective to a jaded view bestowed upon all things nonhuman by the Sect Priests. Their Doctrine needs changing. I believe Samuel will see to it.”
Gunarr grunted. “I will be of better use at your side.”
“I do not need protection.”
“The phantom–”
“Is not your concern.”
“Fine,” he grated, candid in his abhorrence for the blood drinkers.
Lips quirking, I gave him side-eye. My exasperation at his continued service niggled. He plainly wanted to remain at the Wyld rather than leave.
Why does he not ask me to release him?
Darkness coalesced at the edge of my vision, and I inwardly cursed. Did our conversation beckon to him? Or does he hound me for spite?
I wondered if I’d ever sleep peacefully with the threat of the phantom lurking.
Taking pleasure from ignoring Tomas’ formless presence, I reverted my attention to Gunarr who remained ignorant of the newcomer he disliked by species. “You swore fealty aware I possessed enough power to challenge my Elder for the honour of fairy High Lord. Since Rae’s resurrection my path has changed. Drastically. My destiny is no longer tied to the Tribe.”
“I am aware of what you have become.” Gunarr sensed I expected more, and added, “The death touch does not discomfort me. It is a formidable weapon.”
The intention to bare my teeth in a smile was stymied by a cringe. “There is nothing dishonourable in swearing a superseding oath to my brother and rejoining the Knights.” He didn’t react. “Ask, and I will release you from your vow.”
His expression was unreadable. “Can I stay for the feast then fol
low after the humans?”
Content to let it go, I inclined my head. “If that pleases you.”
With a nippy salute, he grabbed the branch above his head and swung his legs up. Climbing swiftly, grumbling all the while, he vanished into the trees he loved.
I followed his progress shaking my head in amusement. Gunarr puzzled me, tasked me, yet he was satisfied to lend me his considerable skill. For as long as he wished to serve I’d accept his talents.
“Ignoring me won’t make me go away.”
Stiffening, I continued my journey towards Conall’s dwelling. Enough time passed for Rae to feel better. I wanted my life mate in my arms and her lips on mine.
“Are you that insecure, Breandan?”
“I made my thoughts on your infatuation with Rae clear the last time I faced you.”
“Much has changed since then. The bond is gone.”
I froze mid step. “Changed, not gone. Deepened.”
“Hmm.”
“Stop.” Face heating in a burst of anger, I faced him as he materialised. “Do not think you can shake my trust in her.”
“I already have.”
“Leave.”
Eyes brimming with laughter, he smirked. “No.”
“You are here on the whim of a mad creature. Nothing more. Why not go back to your Queen.” I dragged a look over him I hoped left him feeling dirty. “Surely she will take you back as you are.”
He shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Gwendolyn. Guilt streaked across his features then was wiped by contempt. His eyes dropped to the shrub I’d accidently brushed and withered. “You’re not what you were before. Rae is adaptable.”
“For me. It does not matter what I am to her only who. I am hers.” Sighing, I rubbed a hand over my head. “Whatever you think speaking to me will achieve will not work. I’ll never give her up. I cannot explain in words the feeling that overcomes me knowing she’s mine. I see her and struggle to breathe.”
Tomas’ eyebrow winged up. “So sure of yourself and her.”
“Your point? I may look at her one day in some distant future and not feel my entire body lurch. But I will always love her. Give my life to protect her.”
“As would I.”
“You cannot compare my love to yours. She is the only one for me. You showed where your heart truly lies.”
“Vampires do not mate for life. My kind has the blood tie, and its formation is rare.” Tomas looked at me beseechingly. “Rae and I had that. It means something.”
“I see why that may confuse you into thinking you should pursue her.”
“Don’t try to convince me your bond with her is of greater importance than mine was.” He muttered to himself, “As it could be again.”
“You are not worthy of her.”
“I will be,” he vowed. “For her I can be better.”
“Did I not make it clear the last time we met I will not tolerate you when it comes to her?”
Tomas cupped his throat and grimaced. “Crystal.”
Anger exploded inside me. “Then why? Why force me to hate you? I would kill you again if I didn’t recognise my jealousy for what it is.”
“Reverse our situations. Feeling as you do could you give up? I glimpsed happiness with her. True happiness.” His voice ripened with passion. “I died realising I was falling in love with her. I’d die a thousand times to keep this feeling.”
“Good. If you continue this way a thousand deaths I swear I will levy upon your life.” My fingers itched to wrap around his neck until bones cracked. “With significantly less effort than before.”
Tomas’s figure wavered until he was transparent, fading into a plane of existence beyond my reach. “I think not.” He studied me as he returned to earthly form. “You’re threatened by me. I can’t see why you would be if she felt nothing.” He stared at the middle distance. “This conversation encourages me.”
“Enough,” I barked. “Just leave.”
“Would you believe me if I said I want to help? That I’ve changed.”
“No.”
“I wish to gain your trust. I respect you.”
At that, my face twisted. It smoothed when I recalled one redeeming act this vampire had accomplished in his dammed life. “You Sired Daphne. Took her as your progeny after she turned.”
His head cocked. “Yes.
“I consider her a friend.”
“Oh?”
“She took her vow to protect Rae seriously. That kind of loyalty and devotion cannot be taught by someone who has no concept of them.”
“Did you just compliment me?”
No longer unable but unwilling to lie, I cut my eye at him. “The kind you stemmed from and the one I was born into have an uneasy history. Clashing at a fundamental level. Nonetheless, if you were sincere in your wish to make peace, instead of using it as a ploy to steal my life mate, I would welcome you as an ally.”
“I understand why Rae tolerates me. Though raised by humans her perception of me is different than normal. You honestly think our kinds will coexist?”
“Why not? An alliance of sorts between our kinds will happen since my brother cares for Daphne, and she for….” I trailed off when the vampire’s eye twitched. “You did not know? What have you been doing since Marinette brought you back?”
“Watching Rae.”
My eyes closed briefly. My determination to set this demon straight before he caused more trouble renewed. “The bond tied Rae and I together, and I feel relief when I think of it. Had it not happened would Rae and I have parted on that first morning? Perhaps. After learning of her destiny, she would have distanced herself because it was the right thing to do. I would have done so to ensure my brother assumed the title of High Lord.”
“No one is that selfless. You’d have me believe you’d give her up if it were best for her and painful for you?”
“I do not deny our feelings might not have faded, but intensified until we succumbed causing pain with unimaginable consequences. Rae’s mother made such a decision in a moment of weakness. She allowed herself to fall in love with a human and betrayed her life mate. Ripples of that choice are suffered to this day.”
“And what’s your point?”
“It is the essence of Rae I love. Her generosity. The way she refuses to yield in the face of ridicule. Her courage. So many have looked down at her because she is different. Yet she remains full of hope, and goodness.”
“I still don’t understand your point, I know precisely what you mean about Rae. It’s why I won’t give her up. I’ve been given a second chance.”
I clenched my fists. She was never yours to give up. “I also love her vulnerability. Her softness.”
Tomas’ brow lowered, perplexed. “So do I.”
“All these qualities make me proud to put her fist in all things. You took advantage of her. Played on her generous nature. Terrified her. By doing what you did, offering her up to your lover as if her worth was no greater than a vein to tap you stole a piece of her innocence. Chipped away at her ability to trust.”
“You can’t blame me–”
“Yes I can. I am. If Rae chose you that night you would have destroyed her. Luckily, she accepted how she felt about me, and that is why she let me tear you apart.”
His eyes burned. “She couldn’t have stopped you.”
I leaned closer; upset at the sick satisfaction I derived from his pain. “Yes, she could, if she had wanted to. She chose me, and even if she had not it would never have been you. She would have mated my Elder. That, Tomas, is the end of it.”
“That moment lasted forever,” he murmured. “As the world dimmed I wished to go back and do things different. I’ve been given another chance.”
“Marinette brought you back to distract Rae and make me jealous. The godling uses you.”
“To what end?”
I flushed remembering Marinette’s blatant attraction.
Tomas chuckled. “I see.”
“I doubt you se
e further than your own desire.”
He laughed outright. “True. I hope the godling’s pursuit of you meets success.”
“You love a Rae that existed for a moment so fleeting it barely existed. I am humble enough to admit you could have bested me. Once. Confused as she was she may have turned to you for some brief coupling as solace if you had not betrayed her to your Queen.”
He snarled, fists clenching. “Do not make our relationship into some sordid thing just so you can disregard it.”
Jealousy seared my insides. I snorted in pretend amusement. “Kisses and a bite do not equal a relationship.”
“It wasn’t that clear-cut.”
“I will not pretend to care what you shared or what your motivations were for tracking Rae.” I let my power pour from me in a crackling wave of hostile energy. “But it ends. Now. What we share is beyond you. She is beyond you.”
Tomas glared. “I–”
“Nothing you say will change that. Nothing you do will be good enough.” Confident, victorious, I turned and strode away. “Nothing will shake my faith in her.”
Nothing you say or do will convince her to betray me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Rae
Lochlann awkwardly extracted himself from my impromptu hug, flushing when Daphne strolled into the coppice, smirking at us both.
Face drawn, Breandan appeared behind her. Gaze lifting the immediacy with which he sought me warmed my heart. He raised an eyebrow at me in his brother’s arms, but instead of charging to my rescue headed towards to Ana and Baako. He and Ana couldn’t embrace, but they shared a smile. Breandan pointed towards where the werecats gathered, and watched my niece skip away chanting.
“Tomorrow then,” Lochlann murmured as his attention shifted from me to the vampire.
Laughably besotted.
I did a double take at Daphne. She boisterously questioned the Knight at her side, and swung her arms, bouncing on the spot. Her normally pale face was pink with health.
A rabbit hopped onto my foot and sat on its hunches, whiskers twitching. I scooped it up and stroked its tapered head with my finger. I loved how it snuggled its squidgy body deeper into my embrace.
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