by Willow Rose
But that also meant I had to stay in this town longer. I wasn't sure my children were too happy about that, not to mention Sune.
I stared at my phone, thinking about him and how much I missed him. He used to be with me on stories like these, and we would figure the truth out together, by digging and digging till it could hide no longer. The thought made me feel more alone than ever, and I let it go. I was done with him. There was no doubt. I had lost all my feelings for him when I walked in on him kissing that nurse. He could make all the excuses he wanted to, but I was done; it was over. I just missed him, that's all, and I wondered if I would ever stop doing that.
41
He still wasn't talking to her. Theodore hadn't said a word to her on the drive home, nor had he made a sound since they walked inside the house. Margot stood by the window and stared into the darkness. The lightness she had felt from drinking the wine earlier was gone, and there was nothing but heavy thoughts left in her mind.
Theodore sat in his Herman Miller lounge chair in the living room. Every now and then, a small moan would emerge from his throat, but that was all that told her he was still there.
Please, say something. Talk to me.
Margot didn't understand what he was waiting for, why he was just sitting there. She had expected him to yell at her, to scold her and ask for an explanation, but so far, he hadn't. Was he waiting for her to break the silence?
It was the scar that had changed everything. The fact that the woman had known about it…since it was located too far down for anyone to be able to see or know about it other than by seeing Margot naked. There was no way Margot could explain herself out of this one. Did he expect her to at least try? Or was it all lost?
She wanted him to tell her it was okay, that he loved her no matter what. That's what she was waiting for. They had been married for fifteen years. Didn't that count for anything?
"You lied to me, didn't you? For all this time, you've lied to me?" he said from the darkness behind her, finally breaking the silence.
Margot closed her eyes. She didn't turn around to look at him. She weighed her words with cautiousness. It was important how they were put now; she had to be careful with exactly what she said and how she said it. One wrong word could make this situation worse. She still believed she had a chance to save this. She desperately hoped she did.
She decided honesty was the way to go. She couldn't lie anymore. She needed to speak the truth.
"I…I’m sorry."
"Why? Why would you lie to me like that?"
She bent her head. "Would you have married me had you known the truth?"
"So, it is true?" he asked. She could detect the contempt in his voice that she had heard so many times before. It was poisonous, dripping with disdain, like it was whispering: you're worthless, you don't deserve my love.
Theodore's fist slammed into the table next to him. Margot jumped at the sound.
"Answer me. Is it TRUE?"
She swallowed. For a painful moment, all she could hear was his heavy, agitated breathing.
Then she nodded.
He rose to his feet. "So, you're a killer? You're a murderer?"
The words felt like knives to her body. They cut through her, leaving nothing but pain.
He groaned loudly. She wanted to turn around and beg him to forgive her, to just let it go, plead with him to remember the love they had shared, the child they had together, and ask him, what did it matter? She was still the same. Nothing had changed on her part.
But she didn't. She didn't dare to. She knew what she was, and she knew running from it had been a mistake. But it was too late now; there was no going back. What was done was done.
"I'm going to bed," he said. "I'll be gone in the morning. You can keep the house, but I won't be living here. I'll make sure you and Minna are taken care of."
Hearing this, she turned with a gasp and met his dark eyes across the room. He lifted his nose and looked down at her like she was unworthy of his presence.
"I don't care about money," she said. "All I care about is you. Don't you understand? I love you. Being with you was never about the money. I don't want to live without you. I don't think I can go on without you in my life. What am I supposed to do?"
She said the words, even though she knew they were wasted. There was nothing more she could do. It was over.
Theodore gave her one last glance, then turned around and walked up the stairs toward their bedroom. Margot stared after him even long after he was gone. Her mouth was open in a soundless scream, her body shaking, and she hugged herself while everything screamed inside of her. For so many years, she had tried to escape her past. She had changed her name, she had changed the way she looked, but it still caught up to her.
Margot rushed to the top drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She hadn't smoked in years, but for some reason, she had kept the package. She pulled one out and lit it, then inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. She sat down by the dinner table, her body feeling like it was made of lead. Her hand shook as she directed the cigarette toward her lips again and took in another deep inhale. Tears ran across her cheeks while she blew out a cloud of smoke.
I'll be gone in the morning.
He had said the words like it was the simplest thing in the world, to just up and leave her. Like it was so easy.
Margot smoked again and felt the warm air as it reached her lungs. It was Theodore who had made her stop back in the day because smoking would kill her one day.
"What irony," she whispered and blew out another cloud.
As the burning cigarette caught onto the curtains and flames licked the walls downstairs, Margot got dressed for the night upstairs. When she laid down in the bed next to Theodore and pulled the covers over her freezing body, she could already feel the warmth rising from the floor below them.
Smoke hit her nostrils and soon made it hard to breathe. Margot closed her eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in her long and painful life.
Finally. It ends here.
42
I couldn't sleep. It would be an understatement to say that a thousand thoughts rushed through my mind. I couldn't find rest at all and kept pacing around in my room, asking myself what to do next. Should I go back home? It would be the sensible thing to do, to just let it go. But how could I leave with everything that I knew?
I had a terrible headache on top of it all and realized there was no way I could fall asleep with this pounding feeling behind my eyes. I had to find some ibuprofen somewhere.
I got dressed and then walked down to the lobby where Adeline's daughter, Regina, sat in the back, reading a book. She often took the nightshift for her older mother.
"Excuse me?" I asked. "Hello?"
Regina stuck her head out of the back room. "Yes? Hi there. Can I help you?"
"Do you have any ibuprofen or Advil lying around? I have a terrible headache."
Regina smiled. "Sure. We always keep some for guests. Let me just find it for you."
She got up, and I could hear her rummaging around in the back before she returned.
"I'm sorry. We usually always have some, but I’m afraid that we seem to have run out."
"Just my luck," I said with a scoff. "How far is the nearest 24-hour pharmacy?"
Her face looked torn. "That'll be about a fifteen-minute drive from here, in Bushnell."
I looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. I sighed, thinking that if I hurried, I could still make it back here by one and get a few hours of good sleep. I didn't have to get up early anyway.
"I'm sorry," Regina added. "Like I said, we usually have some in the back."
I smiled. It wasn't her fault. "Just not today. Don't worry about it. I'll do the drive. I have to have something for this terrible headache if I plan on sleeping at all tonight."
I thanked Regina for trying, then walked back to my room and grabbed the car keys and my phone. I drove off into the clear night, thinking this little drive might end up doing me good. I would mo
st definitely be exhausted once I got back.
I turned up the radio and sang along to Adele while driving out of town, pleased to see that there wasn't a car on the road ahead. It was just me and Adele rushing through the darkness, singing about our broken hearts, reminding me how Sune and I almost had it all and how much I missed being a family.
After singing along for a little while, I changed the station. Not because I didn't love Adele but because the song reminded me of how terrible my life was right now, and it overwhelmed me. It stirred me up a little more than I cared for. Next, Carrie Underwood blasted out of my speakers, singing about how her man was putting his moves on some Shania wannabe with no taste for whiskey. I sang along while thinking about how I had felt at first when I had found Sune with that woman. My first reaction had been anger. I had yelled at him, saying the most hurtful things. I wanted to hurt him for what he had done to us; I wanted him to feel what I felt. I wanted him to be in as much pain as I was, but no matter how much I tried to hurt him, it didn't make my pain go away. I don't know why I thought it would.
I drove for about ten minutes, letting my phone's GPS guide me toward the pharmacy that was located in the neighboring town of Bushnell. The countryside was very dark at night, and I felt like I was in one of those horror movies when you just waited for something to show up in the headlights of the car.
And something did show up. Not in my headlights, but it did strike me with great horror. As I took a turn and drove down a big road, I saw flames. Flames licking the sky, lighting up the darkness. As I drove closer, I realized with terror where they came from.
Margot!
43
"Oh, dear God!"
I stopped the car by the gate, then got out. The flames stood tall between the trees, and I knew they had to come from the main house. The horses were screaming in the night.
I grabbed my phone, then dialed 911. A few anxious minutes later, the fire truck arrived, sirens wailing. A firefighter rolled the window down briefly, and I told him I was the one who had called.
"I think there are still people in the house, but I can't get through the gate," I said.
"We'll take it from here," he said.
Next, they drove through the gate. They simply just slammed the firetruck through it, and the gate crumpled when meeting this mighty vehicle with all its heavy weight. After that one, another fire truck joined it, and they rushed by, while I prayed that Margot and her family were all right.
I drove up the trail after the trucks had gone by, then stopped the car at a safe distance. I got out, heart throbbing in my chest. The warmth from the fire felt like it was burning my face. I was devastated. Their car was in the driveway. Were they still in there somewhere?
Please, let them be out of town. Let them be somewhere else.
As I finished the thought and pushed away the terror it filled me with, a firefighter came out of the burning building, walking through the flames, carrying someone in his arms. My heart stood still while he placed the child in the arms of someone else.
"There are more; I’m going back in," he yelled, right before he turned around and went back inside.
In the distance, I could hear more sirens and guessed the police were coming now too and hopefully an ambulance. I held my breath as I watched the entrance to the house, waiting for the firefighter to reappear, hopefully carrying someone else out. The flames were close to the roof now, and even though they blasted water on it, it didn't seem to do much. As soon as they gained control of one area, another exploded and took over.
It's taking too long. Why is it taking so long?
The firefighters yelled as the ambulance drove up the trail, sirens blaring loudly. I stared, completely paralyzed, at the entrance to the house where the firefighter from earlier once again came out, this time carrying Margot's husband, Theodore Addington. To my surprise, he wasn't alone. Another firefighter came up behind him, carrying a lifeless Margot Addington in his arms.
The paramedics threw themselves at all three while the flames took complete control of the building. It soon became obvious that there wasn't much to do to save it. All the firefighters could do now was to make sure it didn't spread to the stables. They had let the horses out and let them run into the field. Meanwhile, Margot and her family were all taken into the ambulances and rushed away.
I watched them leave, my heart aching badly, praying that they would all make it.
44
Webster, Florida 1979
Carol followed Anna Mae through town. Much to her surprise, it seemed almost like Anna Mae was enjoying this little trip they were on like it was some adventure.
Was it all a game to her?
Meanwhile, Carol felt terrified beyond compare. What if she was right? What if the girl really led her to the Blacks’ boy? What would she do?
Carol bit her nails as she followed the girl across the railroad tracks, through a junkyard, and closer to the swamps. It was late in the day, and the sun would set in about an hour or so. It was a time when most townsfolk would be at home eating dinner. That was why Carol had chosen this hour, to minimize the risk of being seen.
"Will we be there soon?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Anna Mae? Are we getting closer?"
The girl nodded. "We're almost there. Just a few more minutes."
"Okay, maybe we should hurry up then," Carol said and glanced toward the tall trees where the sun would be setting soon. She didn't want to be anywhere near the swamps when it got dark.
Anna Mae sped up, and Carol followed her. They rushed through a small field of grass in a vacant lot when Anna Mae turned around and looked at Carol, then signaled for her to follow her closely.
The lot was overgrown and almost impassable, but Anna Mae knew how to get through the thick vegetation. Soon, they were standing in between the many trees, and Anna Mae pointed.
"Over there. Down in that hole."
Anna Mae walked ahead of Carol and knelt next to what appeared to be barely more than a hole in the ground. It had a ring of rocks around it, but it was hard to see unless you came up really close. Carol knelt next to Anna Mae, then peeked inside the deep hole. Water was gurgling beneath her, and that was when she realized it was an abandoned well that had never been sealed off properly.
She gasped and looked quickly at Anna Mae, then shone the flashlight she had brought in case they were caught outside once the sun had gone down. The beam of light landed on something in the water, and it made Carol want to throw up.
Benjamin Black.
Carol gasped and pulled back. She looked at Anna Mae, then grabbed her by the shoulders.
"What have you done to him? Anna Mae? Tell me what you did to the poor boy!"
Anna Mae shook her head. "No. No, Aunt Carol. He fell. He fell into the hole."
"Don't you dare lie to me," Carol said and slapped her cheek. Her lips were quivering. She felt so frightened. Had she harbored a killer in her house? Was everyone right about her?
Anna Mae felt her cheek where Carol's fingers had hit, and her eyes changed drastically. Her nostrils flared, and she took a step backward, still holding her cheek.
"Anna Mae, tell me the truth," Carol almost yelled. "Tell me the truth, now!"
Anna Mae backed up further while her eyes grew darker and darker. Then, the girl turned around and took off running, sliding through the bushes faster than Carol could grab her.
"Come back here, Anna Mae! You hear me, Anna Mae? Anna Mae?"
45
She didn't even look at me when I entered her room at the hospital. I felt a lump in my throat as I knocked gently on the already open door, then walked inside.
"M-Margot?"
In my hand, I had a bouquet of flowers, but they made me feel so silly, and I placed them on a table without giving them to her. Flowers were probably the last thing she needed right now after having survived both her husband and daughter.
I felt tears press behind my eyes, and it was hard to keep them at bay. I walked closer while
she continued to stare out the window. The nurse told me that she had been like that all day since she received the news of her family's death. She also told me they were very happy to see a visitor since Margot hadn't given them any relatives to contact. Luckily, the media had found some other story to chase. Apparently, some tennis player out west had slept with her best friend’s husband and gotten themselves in some car accident where said tennis player had been drunk. Now, they were throwing themselves at that instead and leaving Margot alone.
They had chewed her up and spat her out again. This was all there was left of her, and now she was alone in the world.
"I…I am so sorry," I said. "You can't imagine how terrible I feel."
Margot still stared out the window, not even acknowledging my presence. She was barely moving in her bed. Only her chest was heaving up and down as she breathed.
"Just…leave," she said in almost a whisper.
"I’m not sure I can do that," I said, then cleared my throat. "I’ve read up on your story, and the story of Anna Mae Burke. I know you want me to leave it alone, but I don't think I can…"
Margot closed her eyes. "I did my time."
I stared at her, not knowing what to say. This had been following her all her life. She had been imprisoned at only ten years old, in a prison with adults, doing things to her one could only imagine. It had to have been a true nightmare. And then when she got out, twenty years later, she had changed her name and tried to start over. She had started to write books and met a man whom she had a child with. She had believed her life was on the right track, that she had been able to put the past behind her. She had made a life for herself, but it caught up to her in the end. She was never going to escape it, was she?
"Did you kill those two kids?" I asked. I knew it was bold; I knew it might upset her, but I had to know. "You claimed your innocence till the end but were convicted by a unanimous jury. Were you innocent?"