by Amanda Boone
He’d been doing so much better in school. He still had a few meltdowns, but Mrs. Hill had been able to calm him down a few times. His anxiety was worlds better, though. It just came up sometimes if the classroom was extra loud or busy. We had our afternoon walks every day and he’d started talking so much more, telling me all about what he was learning.
Mason spotted me and ran over to hug me. His little arms wrapped around my jean-clad legs and squeezed. “Miss Sara! Daddy brought me to get a donut!”
I bent down and gave him a proper hug. “That’s so cool! I bet Mrs. Hill would like a donut, too. Why don’t you pick one out and I’ll get it so you can take it to her?”
He nodded excitedly and hugged me again. I looked over his head at Justin and blushed when I saw how closely he was watching me. His eyes were heated, like they’d been every morning when I came in, but there was something extra in his gaze that morning.
I sucked in a breath and blew it out before letting go of Mason and following him to the counter. Justin joined me and handed over his card when it was time for me to pay.
“You don’t have to do that.”
He stared down at me, his eyes on my mouth. “Has it been three weeks, yet? You’re wearing red lipstick and it’s torture.”
I tried to laugh, but it just came out as an awkward sound. My body couldn’t stop responding to him. I’d been dreaming of him every single night, and the dreams kept getting more and more explicit. Dream Justin and dream me had gone much further than I’d ever gone in real life, and it was messing with my head.
“Not yet.”
He placed a gentle hand on my back and frowned. “Mason talks about you all the time. It’s the only time I’ve ever wanted to tape his mouth closed. I can’t stop thinking of you as it is. I don’t need the help.”
I ducked my head, hoping he wouldn’t see the grin on my face. “Just two more weeks.”
He tucked his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “There’s nothing ‘just’ about it. This has been the longest week of my life. We scheduled the rodeo finally.”
“I was going to ask about it. I saw the sign for it down at the post office.”
Justin leaned down and brushed his lips against my ear. “I’ll need you there, cheering for me. I know it’s a couple of days before the end of your two-week period, but do you think you could come for me?”
I nodded. I could definitely do that.
“It’s tradition that the winner’s date gives him a kiss after the ride.”
I leaned back so I could see his face. “Really?”
He grinned, showing me both of his dimples. “No. But I think we should start it.”
A throat cleared behind us. “Think I can get a coffee now?”
I grabbed my coffee and muffin before stepping out of the way. Justin grabbed the donut and I nodded to Mason. “He’s going to give it to Mrs. Hill.”
“Call me if those two weeks start wearing on you.”
I grinned up at Justin and shrugged my shoulders. “You never know. Have a good day, cowboy.”
I said goodbye to Mason and Avery and then sauntered out of the shop, feeling great.
It was short lived, though, because I stepped right in front of my mother. She was red and looked like she was on a mission. When her eyes landed on me and flashed, I knew that I was her mission.
“Sara Jane Barrows. You need to come home right this instant and talk with me and your father about your behavior.”
I hadn’t planned on the confrontation happening so soon. I groaned and then took a long drink of my coffee. “I have to go to work.”
Her eyes trailed down my body and then landed on my hair. “Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Sara! What did you do?”
A crowd was gathering because of her hysterics, so I calmly grabbed her hand and pulled her with me toward my car. “I got a haircut, Mom. It’s not a big deal. Why don’t I come for dinner tonight?”
She shook her head. “What are you doing? Walter called me and yelled at me. He said I set him up with a psycho. You went to his office and demanded the money back? What’s wrong with you?”
I looked around and frowned. There were a couple of people still hanging around, and I didn’t exactly want them to hear what I had to say, but she wasn’t giving me much of an option.
“What’s wrong with me is you, Mom. You’ve really been giving men money to date me and tell me that I need to lose weight?”
She glanced around and leaned closer to me. “So what? You needed to get out and date. I thought that eventually one of them would see past the extra pounds and attitude and want to be with you. All of my friends’ daughters are married. I’m the only one who hasn’t planned a wedding.”
“Plan your own damn wedding! I don’t want to get married right now, especially not to slimy assholes who take money for dates!”
She whipped her head back like I’d slapped her. “How dare you talk to me like that! What happened to your manners?”
“I got sick of them, Mom. It seemed like I was the only one using any. Why bother? I’m sick of you, too. You comment on my weight like there’s nothing else to me. Maybe you wanted to just get married and have a kid. Maybe that was your whole goal in life, but it’s not mine. I like my job and I like my new house and—”
“Your new house?!” She was officially screaming at me.
“Yes, Mom. I moved out. I can’t live so close to you anymore.”
If my mom’s head was ever close to exploding, it was in that moment. “Sara Jane! You can’t just do all of this without telling us!”
I threw my hands up. “I’m twenty-five years old! I can do anything I damn well please. I just haven’t because I was so desperate to make you happy. Finding out you’re paying men to date me and telling them I’m trying to lose weight so they starve me during dinner just showed me that it’s impossible. I’m done, Mom. At the end of the day, this is who I am. I’m never going to be a size zero pageant queen. Deal with it.”
She glanced behind me and her face got even brighter. “You! This is all your fault!”
I looked behind me and saw Justin standing there with his arms crossed over his impressive chest. “I’m afraid it’s not. This is your fault.”
I held up my hands and stepped in front of Justin so my mom would focus on me. “You can yell at me. Don’t yell at Justin. He had nothing to do with this. Finding out you think I’m so deplorable that you pay men to date me is what pushed me over the edge. Mom… just go to hell. I need some time away from you.”
She shook her head and grabbed my arms. “Honey, no. No, this isn’t you. I know a nice guy that works with your father. I won’t offer him any money. I’ll just show him a picture of how pretty your face is. Don’t go off with this cowboy trash.”
I heard a little cry and looked back to see that Avery had come out with Mason to catch the end of my mom’s rant. I watched as Mason stared at my mom and started crying softly.
“Mom, get out of here. Now. You’ve done enough.” I leaned in so no one else would hear what I was about to say. “The only trash I see here is the woman making a little boy cry. Go home and get yourself together. Realize you don’t pull any of my strings anymore. Explain to Dad why I moved out. Tell him it’s your fault. When you find it in yourself to apologize to me, then maybe I’ll invite you over for lunch.”
She dug her nails into my arms before jerking her hands off me. “I’m so disappointed in you. I thought you were going to be someone.”
I watched as she stormed off and rubbed my arms where her nails had dug into me. I turned to face Justin and pulled my mouth to one side to make an awkward face. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t need to hear any of that.”
He looked at my arms and then tugged me against his chest for a hug. “Your mother is the devil.”
I buried my face in his chest. His shirt smelled like him, and I breathed deeply to get more of it. “She is. But, hey, I finally stood up to her.”
He kissed the side of
my head and then I heard a little giggle. I looked over and saw that Mason’s tears had dried up. He was watching his dad kiss my head.
He giggled again and pointed up at us. “Daddy’s kissing Miss Sara!”
I extracted myself from Justin and moved away from him. “I’ll see you at school, Mason. And I’ll see the rest of you in a couple of weeks.”
Justin followed me around to the driver’s side of my car with his eyebrows raised. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like what you mean by that? You’re not going to come in to get coffee in the mornings?”
I shook my head. “It’s hard to remember why I need space to get my life together when I see you.”
A quick smile lit his face before he got it in check and frowned instead. “This isn’t what I had in mind, at all.”
I worked my fingers over my keys and watched as the sun glittered off the silver of them. “If you find someone else to take to the rodeo, I wouldn’t blame you. My mother just called you—”
Justin grabbed me and yanked me into him. “Shut up.”
When he kissed me, I couldn’t help the way I sighed and leaned into him. He just brushed his lips over mine and then held me. “I’ll see you at the rodeo.”
I got in my car and drove away while fighting the urge to turn around and go back. I didn’t want time away from him. I wanted to give in to the feelings that erupted in me when I was close to him. What I wanted and needed battled, but I knew I had to take time for myself.
12.
Time crawled by so slowly that I was half convinced the rodeo was never going to come. I’d done everything I’d thought I needed to do in the first week. The second week was to be dedicated to making some old dreams come true, I decided.
I’d talked to a local vet who used his kennels as a pound about opening a shelter, and he’d shut me down. He wasn’t interested in using his money to help start something that he was basically already doing.
I’d found out that he got paid by the city for what he was doing, and, even though it shouldn’t have surprised me, I was disgusted with the man. I didn’t want to work with him after all. He could help me save animals and get them into homes that would love them, but because of a paycheck, he was happy leaving them where they were.
He euthanized the animals after a short period of time to make room for other strays. My shelter wouldn’t do that, if I could ever get one open.
I sat around for a few nights in my new house, feeling sorry for myself. I’d always wanted to open a shelter to save animals. When I finally got the guts to do something about that dream, it was hard to accept that I couldn’t do it.
Halfway through the week I’d decided to start a fundraiser to help raise money to open it. With the help of Amanda and Macy, I made signs and hung them around town, letting people know that we’d be having a bake sale during the rodeo. I’d seen Avery and he’d suggested the place and time. Donations of cash and baked goods would be appreciated.
It was a start. Not a strong one, but I had to start somewhere. I knew of a piece of land that was for sale that would be perfect for the shelter. I had a small savings that I could put toward the land, but I’d still need to buy some sort of metal building and then invest in supplies.
With my plan put into action for the shelter, I had time to focus on the rest of my life. I still hadn’t spoken to my mom. I was sure she’d seen the signs for the bake sale and was furious. My dad had called me to complain about me upsetting my mom, but when I’d informed him of her dating antics he’d been so angry at her that he’d started coming to my house for dinner when he could get away from work in time.
I felt like things were looking up. Everything was slowly coming together, but I missed Justin. I wanted to see him and talk to him about everything that was going on. I was starting to hate myself for making the dumb three week rule.
The very last week I was so antsy that Amanda wouldn’t spend time with me. She said I was driving her crazy. I went to work and focused there as much as I could. I spent time with Mason, who told me all about his daddy’s crush on me. Then I went home and watched TV when I wasn’t planning or doing research for the animal shelter.
When the day came for the rodeo, I was so nervous I could barely sit still. I’d turned my kitchen into a baking factory. With Amanda and Macy by my side, I made pies and cakes until I thought I’d never eat one again. My father even showed up and tried to help decorate a few cakes. I’d decided that we were going to label those and hope to draw in more money since he’d done them.
It hadn’t been easy to focus, but I knew the shelter depended on me being serious, so I kept my head on straight for the most part.
Amanda owned a large SUV, so at the end of our baking day we loaded everything into her vehicle and promised to meet her at the rodeo that night. She and Macy both left to get ready.
I showered and dressed in a low-cut black maxi dress. The halter-style top left my shoulders and back exposed. I knew it was a little risqué for a rodeo, but I planned on throwing my three week rule away that night. I pulled on sexy black lingerie I’d bought just for Justin and simple black sandals.
My hair was curling prettily around my face, and I’d taken extra time to make my makeup look perfect, complete with a red lip. I knew I looked good, and I couldn’t wait to see Justin to get his reaction.
I drove over to the big field the rodeo had been set up in and got our tables ready to hold all of the things we’d baked. Amanda and Macy met me there a few minutes later, both smiling from ear to ear.
“What?”
Amanda grinned, and I knew she was up to something. “Nothing. Can’t I just smile?”
I didn’t have time to argue with her because people swarmed our table. Everyone seemed to be excited about the prospects of a shelter. The people who didn’t care that much about the shelter seemed to have a dislike for the vet who got money for killing the stray animals around town. Either way, we were selling out of baked goods faster than we could get them on the table.
I was so excited that I couldn’t stop smiling. The rodeo was already underway, and I was itching to get to a seat so I could be ready when they called Justin’s name.
“Sara, don’t look now, but your mom is coming this way.” Amanda turned away quickly to talk to a customer.
I turned around and, sure enough, my mom was coming at me. I noticed that she was carrying a large box and I raised my eyebrows.
“Sara Jane. Hi.”
I forced a smile to my lips, trying to pretend like I wasn’t feeling something close to tears in my eyes. “Hi, Mom.”
She smiled at me and then shoved the box at me. “I made my famous banana pudding. I made three.”
I took the box and handed it to Amanda. “Thanks, Mom. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I did. I have a lot to do. I’m sorry, Sara. I know now isn’t a good time, but maybe I can come by your house soon for that lunch?”
I grabbed her and hugged her tight. “Yes! Yes. That would be great.”
“And do you think you could ask your father to speak to me? I hate to put you in the middle, but he won’t talk to me at all.” There were tears in her eyes, and I could tell she felt horrible.
“I’ll tell him.”
She touched my cheek gently and then walked away.
I turned around and made a shocked face at Amanda. “Did you see that?!”
Amanda’s eyes were wide as she nodded. “What the fuck just happened? She was nice and she helped with the bake sale!”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, but I hope it sticks.”
We sold out faster than I ever thought we would, and then Amanda shoved me away with instructions to go find the other Steele brothers so I could get a good seat.
“Why don’t you come sit with us?”
Her happy demeanor changed instantly. “No, thanks. Not all of us have changed our minds about the Steele brothers.”
“You’re going to have to tell me that story eventual
ly.”
She shook her head. “There’s no story to tell, Sara. Now, go!”
I hugged her before leaving. I did want to find the other Steele brothers more than anything. I wanted to be close to the fence so I could watch Justin in action.
I had to fight through a crowd to get to the fence line. Once I got close, I felt a tug on my arm.
“Looking hot, Sara! Justin’s going to shit when he sees you in this.” Avery pulled me with him over to a private section that had been roped off for the family of the rodeo performers.
I was thankful to be away from the pushy crowd and hugged him to show it. “God, you’d think this was a freaking boy band concert. Those girls aren’t playing around. I got a solid elbow to the boob in that crowd.”
He laughed and put his arm around my shoulder. “They’re here to see Justin on a bull. Apparently, it’s hot. That’s what I keep hearing anyway.”
I rolled my eyes. “All of these girls are here to see him?”
He nodded. “Yep. Your boyfriend’s a big star.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
Avery pointed across the fenced-in area to the other side, where men were talking to a very serious-looking Justin. “He tells that story differently.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. I watched Justin and giggled. He was wearing dark brown chaps that had teal stitching down the sides, a flannel shirt with a thick vest on top, and a protective helmet. “I like the chaps.”
Avery laughed. “Those are just his ‘for fun’ chaps. The ones he wears for competitions have all kind of sponsor stuff on them. It looks like you got here just in time. He’s about to go.”
My jovial mood turned serious as I watched a huge bull appear in a tiny stall. My eyes went wide and I held my breath as the large monster snorted and rammed the cage in front of it. “He’s not riding that is he?”
“Afraid so. That’s Beast. There’s only been one other guy that rode him the full eight. Justin’s in for a rough ride.”