by Mia Downing
Tia forced herself to look up and into his eyes. So dark, hard to read again, the emotions put back inside, where they belonged. Jake had said once she was hard to read—like this?
Talking diminished her fear of Chase some. She had no right to be afraid. “I’ll try not to be afraid. I realize it wasn’t you—it was the scene. I have regretted it every day, and I am sorry.”
He nodded. They sat quietly for a moment, and Tia sensed he wasn’t done. God, what else could he want?
“That brings me to another touchy subject.” Chase shifted in his chair again. “I won’t lie. I’m pissed at Jake right now. I hope to hell it doesn’t last and I’m wrong. But if you want to be a part of Jake’s life, unfortunately, Kate and I come with it.”
Yes, she knew that. Kate couldn’t be a hard or soft limit. Tia had to accept her if she wanted Jake. “Yeah. I’m so excited to meet your wife.”
“Believe it or not, she doesn’t want to meet you, either. She may not be talking to me, but I know how much this hurts her—you being Jake’s partner. I made her an agent, you now. I gave her this world, and then I took it away. And she idolizes Jake. At one time, I was her world, but Jake was…he was her moon if that makes sense. And you can’t stop the moon from ruling the tides.”
She could see that. The two of them moonstruck over each other. She hated Blondie and this magical hold she seemed to have over these two usually sensible men.
“I’m not going to lie, it sucks being second to the two of them at times. They share inside jokes and I’m sure some are about me, because I have to be the boss and I know they hate that. They’re friends—more than friends—and I know she doesn’t love him the way she loves me. But it’s still hard.”
Tia looked up at Chase then. Maybe befriending him could be beneficial. He was on her side of their twisted relationship. “Does she call you Jake?”
“All the time. And it’s not to hurt me most of the time—she is—was—with him so much, his name comes easier than mine, especially when she’s pissed. Sure, there are times where she will use Jake to get a rise out of me. But there are other times when she has no problem remembering my name.” Chase gave the hint of a smile, and Tia realized he was talking about during sex. “He’ll call you Kate if he hasn’t already.”
“He already has.”
“Welcome to my world.” He glanced at her, and she saw him as Kate and Jake must see him—without a mask. Just an incredibly handsome man, conflicted, in a chair. “You have to get over being afraid of me, Tia. When the smoke clears eventually, I will need an ally. Someone that can be on my side, because they gang up on me and I have no one. I need you to bat for me now and then. What do you say?”
“I don’t know about that.” She wanted to be his ally more than anything, because that would mean Jake was hers. “We’re done romantically, because I can’t be more than his partner. Not if I want to do my job well.”
“I told him a weekend away was a bad idea.” Chase’s brow furrowed. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can change you after this next assignment. I need you to stick it out with him for another month, so he can train you. And then I can make it easier on you.”
“I can handle it for now.” She felt a little mean for calling her old boss about the European position. She should tell Chase now, but she’d wait until tomorrow. Or maybe…she should stop running there, too. And just suck up and deal as Jake’s partner.
Chase smiled, and she could see exactly why Kate loved him—he was breathtaking. “You should get going. Thanks for talking to me.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”
Sorry for hurting him, sorry that he’d always be second best, like her, to Jake and Kate. Sorry she’d never be his ally.
Sorry she couldn’t give in.
****
Jake and Tia walked the length of the driveway to Chase and Kate’s home after a fairly easy ten mile run. It’d been unsettling to watch Jake run in front of her as he lead the way. He was so damned hot, his ass so hard, and Tia had a hard time not picturing her fingernails digging into those firm globes as he fucked her.
And that right there was unsettling all on its own, because she should still be ripping mad at him. She didn’t want to think about sex with him last night. Or any night. He was a liar.
His ass beckoned again, rounded in blue jogging pants. Okay, maybe she wasn’t being fair. Maybe it had been his safeword, but for Christ’s sake, she didn’t believe him. Paris. Fucking Paris. Images of Jake and Chase danced in her mind, the two so gorgeous. She knew how they both kissed, and she fused that feeling, wondering how either could kiss the other and not go bi.
No wonder they were so close, why Chase would listen to Jake’s phone sex without batting an eye, why Jake would run to do Chase’s bidding while on vacation. Why Jake was pounding out the miles so his best friend could trash his ass over his wife.
She glanced at Jake. He was sweaty but barely winded. Tia was impressed with how Jake took everything in stride. When she had met him in the parking lot after her meeting with Chase, he hadn’t asked more than if she was okay, respecting the boundary that Monday had put in place. Then he’d handed her running shoes, and away they went.
Damn him, he was sweaty, but not as bad as she. He couldn’t have kept fit like that just fucking her over the weekend. She glared, realizing that once again, she’d been conned. “You lied—you did run this weekend, didn’t you?”
“Yep.” Jake gave her a small smile.
“When?”
“I have a treadmill in the basement. I ran when you went out or when you thought I was doing something else.”
“Because you knew he’d do this.”
Jake shrugged. “I didn’t know, but I fear the wrath of the Lord of the Spies. As should you. Rule one—wear jogging pants and sneakers to any meeting that has nothing to do with debriefing.”
“You’re an ass. You lie about everything, don’t you?”
“Yep. It’s another plus I bring to the table. No morals.” He led the way through the open three-car garage—Chase’s SUV was parked outside while inside were nestled a red sports car, a non-descript compact car, and another truck like Jake’s, only in a deep blue.
“I told you to put sneakers on this morning before we left, and you flipped me off,” Jake reminded her.
“You could have said why.”
He grinned. “Now where’s the fun in that?”
They climbed the three steps, and Jake used a code on the keypad. They entered into a mudroom. He paused and looked serious for a change. “I didn’t lie about the important stuff. Like loving you.”
She gaped. What could she say to that?
He sighed, wiped his feet on the mat, and went into the main house. “Kate?” he hollered. “Chase?”
They passed through the kitchen—the biggest, most well-equipped kitchen she’d ever seen—and into a very formal, elegant foyer with a sweeping staircase.
“Jake?” Blondie was at the top of the stairs, peering over the balcony. Her perfect face lit up, and she tore down the stairs, a hot mess in baggy, ripped sweats and an old shirt. Her blonde hair was half in a ponytail, half out. Usually women dressed for women. Either Kate didn’t know she was coming or didn’t care. Either way, Tia wanted to spit green envy at how beautiful she was.
“Easy, sweetheart. You’ll fall,” Jake said on a laugh. His look was one of deep fondness, and he was as eager to see Blondie as she was to see him. But he looked at Tia, as if asking permission for whatever Blondie was about to do, and she shrugged. Go ahead. What did she care?
Blondie looked like she was going to launch herself into Jake’s arms, but she stopped a good ten feet away and stared at Tia, hesitant. “May I?”
Tia shrugged, shocked she’d even ask. Maybe Blondie thought possession was nine-tenths of the law, too. Then Blondie launched, baggy sweatpants and all, into Jake’s arms. He held her tightly, his eyes closed, one hand on the back of her head, the other around her waist. Tia pictured
them taking that next step—Kate wrapping her legs around Jake’s waist, Jake tugging down her sweatpants and riding her hard, like he’d ridden Tia all weekend. But instead, he kissed Blondie’s cheek and set her down. And it thrilled Tia to no end to see he wasn’t the least bit aroused.
Jake glanced warily over Kate’s shoulder, back up the stairs. “I don’t know if that greeting was a good idea.”
“He’s downstairs, and I’ll greet you how I want. I have nothing to hide. You’re my best friend, and I missed you.” Her hand was still on Jake’s shoulder as she turned to Tia. “I’m Kate.”
“I gathered.”
Jake glanced down at Kate. “You look like hell. What have you been doing?”
“Electrical stuff,” she said with a shrug. “He won’t let me do what I want out of the house, so I’m doing stuff that I want in the house.”
“You’re too thin.”
Tia had to agree on that point. She didn’t know Kate, but she looked lighter than her wedding photos and more stressed. She had dark circles under her eyes as well. Tia frowned. Perhaps Blondie wasn’t so perfect after all.
“I’ll fatten up. Give me a couple of months. Chase has his zygote on a special diet. God forbid the mother ship not follow it.” She shrugged again. Then she looked at Tia and back at Jake. She touched the back of his hand, still at her waist. “He’s downstairs. He knows.”
“I guessed as much.” Jake sighed. He untangled himself from Blondie and turned to Tia with concern. “I hate leaving you, but will you be okay?”
Tia’s insides warmed, damn them, at the protectiveness in his voice. He was going to face getting his ass kicked and he cared about her. Tia really, really, hated Monday. “I’m sure Blondie and I can find plenty to talk about.”
He kissed her lips lightly, despite the Monday rule and how pissed she’d been at him. It felt so good to have him kiss her in front of Blondie. Possession was nine-tenths of the law, and she felt for that moment that she was his.
“Then I’m going to down to judgment day.”
Chapter Seventeen
Jake walked down the stairs to Chase’s finished basement, every step a torture. He hadn’t felt this way since the day when he told the priest in confession he’d put a dead fish in Maria’s lunch box because she had put frogs in his shoes the day before. Only now, he was confessing adultery. God help him, he hadn’t wanted it to be true, but at least he could say with a clear conscience Chase had nothing to fear. Jake’s love for Kate was back to second-cousin status, like before she’d died in his arms.
Chase was on the treadmill, bathed in sweat, running like he was possessed. That’s how he always ran, like he was fleeing something or running to something. This time it was definitely flight, because when he saw Jake at the bottom of the stairs, he turned up the speed and ran faster, harder.
He shot Jake a glare that would have made most people turn and leave, but Jake knew him too well. That glare bespoke anger and mistrust, but he was using it to hide the pain and fear. Jake was most afraid of the pain. His control-freak friend didn’t do changes of emotion well. How fucked up was it to be worried about Chase’s mental status when the man was ready to kill him?
“I’m here. You can kill me now,” Jake said over the thunder of Chase’s footsteps. He held his hands up in mock surrender.
Chase turned off the treadmill and stopped, his breathing labored, the mask he usually wore neatly in place, hiding any hint of emotion. “You and Kate, you’ve always been alike,” he managed between pants. “Just because I was a sniper doesn’t mean there weren’t rules about who I killed. There was an objective, and unless I was damned sure and I had witnesses, it didn’t happen. Sometimes, knowing when not to kill is smarter.”
“You know I’m armed,” Jake said softly. He didn’t go anywhere without a gun. Chase knew that. “But you don’t have witnesses.”
“Oh, Kate made sure I have witnesses.” Chase wiped his face with a towel. “She had the tech team come out and wire the house with surveillance equipment after her scare with being tailed. The whole house, inside, outside, the grounds…” He pointed behind him. The camera wasn’t visible, but obviously he knew it was there. “Wave to Kate. Or at least, wave to her tape.”
Jake frowned. Kate didn’t do things like that because she was afraid. He’d have to take her aside later and find out the truth. There was more to this, and it worried him. “That’s not like her.”
Chase cocked a brow. “Yeah, well, it’s not like you to piss in my yard.”
“She’s yours.” Jake raised his hands again. “I don’t love her.”
“Right now, I don’t know who she belongs to, but it’s not me.” Chase tossed the towel onto the treadmill. “And if you expect me to believe you just up and stopped loving her, forget it. Love doesn’t work that way. I just feel bad for Tia, that you’d use her like that. I don’t know her well, but the way she looked at you…” Chase shook his head, and Jake wanted to ask, how? What did he see? What does she feel? “Bad, bad idea, Anderson.”
Jake thought for a moment. Chase had a point. Love didn’t just change. “Okay, you’re right. I do still love Kate. But what I thought was romantic love was something entirely different. She’s still the second cousin I’d like to fuck, and that’s it. If I were to be honest—and I’m trying—then I starting falling for Tia the day after the debriefing only I was too scared to admit it. We had met at the club before Kate’s first mission and got to know each other. But the day after Kate’s debriefing, I spent the entire day with her, and I know you remember what that means.”
“If you found the woman of your dreams, you were going to fuck her for eight hours straight.”
“Yep. Only at that point…I thought I was running from loving Kate.”
Chase glared. “You never said anything. I had thought Kate was with you that day.”
“You never asked me. And honestly, I don’t think I would have shared that I was with Tia in any case. I didn’t understand how I felt about her then. I knew I felt…something. Except for the two ménages with you and Kate, I’ve been exclusive with Tia since the debriefing. You know that’s big for me.”
Chase nodded reluctantly. “It doesn’t change the fact that you want to fuck my wife.”
“Wanted,” Jake corrected. “I won’t deny being attracted to her. Hell, I was your third. You know we have chemistry. Honestly, I don’t know what I felt in Paris. I knew I loved her, but also I knew it didn’t feel like the romantic love I’d felt in the past. I also knew it was wrong only I didn’t know how to tell you. It’s not like I can come up to you and say, ‘Buddy, I think I love your wife, but I’m not sure. Let’s discuss.’” Chase didn’t look any less angry, though. Jake sighed. “How’d you find out?”
“I became suspicious the minute Kate said she hated Paris. I was too busy planning her pregnancy to keep an eye on you. You went under the radar. But she wouldn’t talk to me after she came home, and that’s not like her. That evening, my part blew up when she started throwing up again. When you asked for time off, I started digging around, asking her questions, because you only run away to the house when you’re under stress.” Chase’s gaze became iceberg cold. “And why would my best bud run unless he was afraid of fucking my wife?”
It seemed Chase had connected the dots very concisely. “You could have just called my bluff when I called you.”
“Yes. But I wasn’t sure until right now. It’s hard to be sure when your buddy calls with his exhibitionist tricks. And you went on my errand way too easily. Usually you put up more of a fight.” Chase gave him a frosty smile. “Funny how when I was convinced you were fucking Kate, you weren’t. And the minute I trust you…”
“I never crossed the line. I never touched her.”
“But you would have.”
“I don’t know.” Now he wasn’t so sure what he would have done. “She wouldn’t have allowed it, anyway. What you did was a deal breaker in my book, and she had every right to leave you if
she wanted. And yeah, I was afraid if she left you, she’d come to me. I couldn’t do that to you, so I went home. But,” he raised a finger as Chase took a menacing step toward him, “she made it quite clear that she would never leave you for me, so don’t take this out on her. It was all one-sided. As much of an ass as you are, she still loves you.”
“And Tia?”
“Kate told me in Paris I had to find my own woman. Her mission for me was to seek out someone I had slept with and see if I could make a connection. If you hadn’t made her my partner, I would have gone to the farm alone and sought her out when I got back. Tia owed me for what she did in Paris, but it was more than that. I’m not lying when I say, besides those two ménages, I’ve only slept with Tia. And I felt guilty about the birthday ménage afterwards, even though Tia never said we were exclusive.”
Chase closed his eyes for a moment as if counting to ten, then opened them on a glare. “Kate warned me once that threesomes were a bad idea. As usual, she was right.”
“It didn’t start then.”
Chase laughed in a way that was just as deadly as when he folded his hands on his desk. “Sure, buddy. Fucking my wife didn’t make you go weak in the knees?” He snorted and turned away.
Jake swallowed. He’d thought that, too, once. And Chase had to know. This was it. He had to tell him the truth about Kate or lose him forever. How odd that the pain you tried to spare someone had to come around and bite you in the ass later?
“She died, Chase. Kate died. On the helicopter. I never told you, because I knew it would hurt like hell, but that’s when all of this started. The feelings for Kate. I had lost the love of my life to death when I was eighteen, and I couldn’t do that to you, even if yours lived.”
“The fuck she did,” Chase said, his voice low and gravelly as he turned around. It almost would have been kinder for Jake to just sucker punch him, or kill him, or kiss him again, like in Paris. Chase breathed hard now, and it wasn’t residual from running. Anger gave way to fear dressed in panic. It was in his eyes, his stance, the way he turned just a little green around the corners of his mouth.