by Tim Kizer
“I agree. You should never lose.” Laura ran her handkerchief under her eyes, as if wiping tears away. “After all, it’s only been two weeks.”
Laura had never taken acting lessons; nevertheless, her grief turned out quite convincing. It was a performance worthy of a Golden Globes nomination for sure.
“Sometimes it’s hard to keep the hope alive,” Frank said. “I read that if they don’t find a missing person in the first forty eight hours, the chances of finding that person alive are cut in half. It’s been a tough two weeks for me to tell you the truth.”
“Hope is an immense source of strength. We all must hope that Kelly’s alive and that you’ll find her soon.”
“Is that what your husband is telling you?”
“Al?” Laura found it amusing that Frank cared what Albert was saying. “We don’t really talk about it, but I’m sure he agrees with me. Al wants to have his sister back.”
Frank gave her a drilling look, the wrinkles deepening on his forehead. Laura could almost physically feel the irritation filling him, but she was positive she was not the cause of it. Something else was exasperating Frank. Or somebody else. And the irritation was palpable.
“What brings you here?” asked Frank. “I’ve never seen you in this neighborhood before.”
Apparently, Frank was not in the mood to tell her what had just ticked him off. Perhaps he was dying to wrap their conversation up. But she had a different plan.
“I brought some documents to my husband. Al is working on a project several blocks from here.” Laura had to use Albert’s lie since she didn’t have a better explanation. “Did he drop by your place yet?”
“No, he didn’t.” Frank shook his head. “Do you live somewhere in Amherst?”
“No. We have a house in Wanakah. It’s about twenty five miles south of here.”
“And Al is working on a project in Amherst? What kind of project is it?”
“I don’t know exactly what it is. He doesn’t like to discuss business matters with me. But I do know that this project is taking all his spare time.”
Frank nodded, having nothing to say.
“He told me he was going to spend the night at his buddy’s place here in Amherst, and I thought it might be you. I guess it’s not.”
“No, not me.”
Laura heard Frank breathe a heavy sigh.
“So Al has never talked to you about this project?” she said.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t speak to Al very often. I don’t know him that well. Is he almost finished with it?”
Laura shrugged her shoulders.
“I have no idea. He’s never told me, and I keep forgetting to ask.”
She was dying to go blunt and just ask Frank straightforwardly if he knew whether Al was having an affair with some whore in Amherst, or anywhere else. Unfortunately, she did not feel it was the right moment yet.
“Is Al an independent contractor?” asked Frank.
“Not really. He’s got a full time job at a hospital in Buffalo. I work there, too. As a matter of fact, I’m his boss.” Laura laughed quietly.
“He must take very long lunches.” Frank smiled.
“You are so funny, Frank. We should hang out more. I like people with a sense of humor.” Laura paused, giving Frank another opportunity to invite her inside the house. Then she went on, “Do you think Al likes it here, in Buffalo?” asked Laura. She realized there was no segue leading to this question, but she didn’t care. She was determined to glean as much information from Frank as possible.
“I don’t see why he wouldn’t like it here. There are a thousand places worse than Buffalo.”
“I just have this feeling that he’s looking for a change of scenery, so to speak. You see, Al never complains because he doesn’t want to upset me.”
Laura carefully observed Frank to ascertain if he had bought her fabrications. It appeared that he had, or he simply had so little interest in her confessions that he didn’t bother to analyze if they were true. By now, Laura had almost lost all hope that Frank was able to influence Albert to her benefit.
Was it possible that Frank could influence Al’s millionaire brother-in-law? It was a great option to explore.
“I’d be the last person to know that. You should ask his sister Josephine. They’re pretty close, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they are. I’ll try asking her for sure. By the way, is there a reason you don’t hang out with my husband more often? Does he owe you money?”
Frank shook his head. “No, he doesn’t owe me money. I just don't have time.”
Laura elected to refrain from investigating why he had strained relations with Al as she recognized that only very few people existed were fans of her husband. It appeared she had to use another option. How about Josephine’s husband Ron, the millionaire? Frank could be friends with him.
“Do you know Al's older sister? Her name is Josephine if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yes, I know Josephine.”
“Do you remember her husband's name? I forgot.”
“His name’s Ron.”
“Yes, you’re right. It’s Ron. Albert’s really lucky that Josephine found him, don’t you think? Usually rich people try to keep their relatives at a distance because they eventually start asking for money.” She giggled. “I’m not saying that Al hits Ron for money because I have no idea if he does. Al never tells me anything.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever talked to Albert about Josephine or Ron. I do know that Ron is loaded.” Frank glanced at his watch. “Would you like to come inside?
Finally. Frank did have manners after all.
“Sure. Thank you, Frank.” As they climbed the porch, Laura continued, “Josephine is so big on family, unlike most of my relatives. Did your wife tell you how Josephine had found her?”
“If she did, it must be one of the million things I forgot.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It was so stupid of me!”
“Do you know when Josephine found her?”
“About two years ago—that’s when Al first told me that he had another stepsister.”
Frank took Laura to the living room, offered her to take a seat on the couch, and headed to the kitchen to put the beer into the refrigerator and get some cold soda. While he was in the kitchen, Laura tried to figure out how she could use Frank. He had to be good for something, even with amnesia! She had already broken the ice and made certain progress in engaging Frank in the conversation about Al and his family. All she had to do was find a smooth segue to the issue of Al moving out of state.
“Getting bored?” Frank appeared with a glass and two cans of Coke. “So what has Albert been saying about me?” He gave Laura the glass and started filling it with the soda. “Something nice, I hope.”
“About you? He doesn’t talk a lot about you. I remember he was going to hang out with you this week.” The latter was another little lie, another shot in the dark.
“He said that?”
“Yes. Did you hang out?”
“No, we didn’t. I guess he changed his mind at the last minute.”
Well, now it was pretty obvious that Frank was not involved in Al’s shenanigans. Or he just didn’t want to inadvertently say too much about his dealings with Al. What a considerate guy! The more Laura talked to Frank, the more she trusted him. Hopefully, he was on good terms with Ron.
“By the way, did Al ever tell you about his new job?” asked Laura.
“I didn’t know he’d gotten a new job. Honestly, I don’t remember what his old job was.”
“He didn’t take it yet. He said he’s thinking about moving out of state to run one of Ron’s businesses. He never mentioned that to you?”
Frank shook his head and asked, “When is he moving?”
“He hasn’t told me yet. He probably doesn’t know the exact date himself.”
“Buying a new business can be a very long process.” Frank leaned back in his armchair. “Do you talk to his older sister?”
“Josephine? Occasionally. Maybe once a month or so.”
Actually, it was more like every other month.
“What do you think about her?”
“She is okay. I know that she likes to take care of her family, which is commendable. I think she even lets one of her cousins live at her place rent free. Do you speak to her often?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. We’ve been talking on a regular basis in the last few weeks.”
“Did you talk about Al?”
“No, we didn’t. I don’t think his name has ever come up.”
“The reason I am asking all this is that Al didn’t tell me much about the job Ron had offered him and I thought you might have heard something from Josephine. Al can be so secretive at times.” Laura smiled. “I personally don’t want to move. All my friends are here, and I have a great job. It seems like Al doesn't care about my opinion. He’d rather listen to Josephine’s husband than me.”
“I can see how it can piss you off.”
“It pisses me off a little. And there’s not much I can do about it.”
“Honestly, I don’t have time to talk about my wife’s family right now. There are a couple of things I need to be working on. I hope you understand.”
“Did they do something to upset you? You can tell me anything, Frank. I’m not a blabbermouth.”
“I just don’t have time right now, that’s all.” Frank got up from the chair. “You can give me a call later if you’d like.”
4.
As Laura walked back to her car after chatting with Frank, she had no idea that Albert was sitting on a toilet a mere half mile away, in the house Josephine had rented so that they could be within a minute’s reach from their target’s residence; it was a wise investment from a tactical point of view. If Laura had been less preoccupied with thoughts about her next step, she could have even noticed Albert’s car parked in the driveway when she drove by it on her way home.
Albert had begun to struggle with the unrest in his stomach back at Josephine’s place, soon after getting out of the table. His sister had made a truck load of pork chops and he had kept chowing them until he was about to burst. Those had been mighty good pork chops. Albert had devoured so much food that he had literally had to resist the inertia of his belly, which felt very heavy and appeared visibly larger than it had been before lunch.
“Don’t forget to give your wife more dick, Al,” said Josephine, hugging Albert goodbye. “If you don’t fuck these bitches at least once a week, they start looking for someone on the side.” She let him out of her embrace, giving Ron an opportunity to wrap his arms around Albert, which he promptly used.
“I think we’ll be able to get you the same job if we decide to move,” said Ron. “Money talks, and all that shit.”
“Yeah. I guess Laura could put in a good word for me, too, if I ask her nicely.” Albert rubbed his stomach gently, drew a deep breath, and belched. “Damn, I’ve got to stop eating like a pig. Thank God, I have a good metabolism.”
“Nothing is set in stone, Al, so we may stay in Buffalo after all,” said Josephine.
“The only problem is, I hate packing stuff,” said Albert. “Besides that, I don’t give a shit whether we move or not. You’re the boss, Josephine.”
“If Laura starts nagging at you, let me know,” said Josephine. “And drive safely, okay?”
“When you talk to your wife about our plans, try not to overwhelm her. Float a trial balloon, ease her in. She may turn out useful in the future,” said Ron.
Albert nodded and emitted another juicy belch.
“I know how to work her,” he said. “Besides, I’m sure she‘s still in love with me.”
“By the way, you forgot to remind me about this.” Ron pulled a roll of fifty dollar bills held together by a rubber band out of his pants pocket and handed them to Albert. “Don’t spend it all on hookers and cocaine, okay?” He giggled.
“I just love your sense of humor, buddy.” Albert shoved the money in his jeans pocket and headed for the front door.
“Drive safely, Al,” said Ron. “We don’t want you to end up like that idiot.”
“You mean Kelly's husband?” asked Albert as he stepped out on the porch.
Ron nodded.
At half past one, Albert was in the bathroom of the rented house, with iPod earphones stuck in his ears, voiding feces from his bowels and listening to Frank’s conversation with some whore named Marilyn, which had been recorded yesterday: they had installed surveillance wall microphones in that moron’s living room and bedroom while he had been in the hospital. The devices worked as advertised: the quality of the sound was good and Albert didn’t have to go through hours of silence since the recorder was voice activated. Right now, his stomach bothered him more than Kelly’s disappearance.
Albert had been somewhat enjoying the assignment Josephine had given to him. He was glad to have a break from his regular routine, even though most of the surveillance recordings were boring as hell—try listening to hours of cable channel talk show babble droning from Frank’s TV—and had nothing to do with Kelly. Tonight, he was going to tell Laura that he would be spending most, if not all, nights away from home for the next two weeks. He didn’t know for sure if his wife had bought his explanation for his extended absences, but what else could he do to make her believe him? If Laura suspected that he had been partying with hookers the last few nights, then so be it. He would deal with it later.
5.
As Albert washed his hands after getting off the toilet, he thought about Frank’s new car. This pompous moron must think he was too good for a Camry, or a Focus, or a Civic, cars regular folks drive. No, he had had to get this expensive German import. How much had it cost him? Fifty grand? Sixty?
You see, Albert most likely had the same income as Frank—courtesy of the generous Ron Buckhaus—but you don’t see him driving a luxurious vehicle. Maybe that was because his dick was bigger than Frank’s. And can you believe the nerve if this asshole: instead of frantically looking for his wife, Frank was boning another woman!
Enjoying the restored peace in his stomach, Albert wiped his hands on the towel and headed to the living room.
By the way, he had seen a couple of cute female joggers in the neighborhood yesterday. He still got a hardon every time he thought about that hot chick he had snatched three weeks ago in Gardenville, when he had pretended to have a car trouble. Too bad, they were currently on a hiatus from kidnapping.
What had caused them to take a break? Albert put the blame squarely on Kelly’s bad judgment.
To be honest, Kelly was a real dumbass! A bitch if you will. She’d been holing up God knows where for almost two weeks now and had never bothered to call and let them know what she was up to. In Al’s book, her behavior was absolutely self-centered and irresponsible, especially taking into account the fact that she knew that they needed her badly now that the boss was gone. Well, Tony could actually be dead if Kelly’s last text message to Josephine hadn’t been an idiotic prank, which it could have very well been, you know.
Was it possible that Kelly and Tony had simply gone on a spur of the moment vacation to some tropical paradise? It sure was.
Could Kelly and the boss have skipped town for good? That was possible, too, in his opinion. In fact, it would have been one of the better case scenarios, which was why Josephine, who preferred to expect the worst while hoping for the best, didn’t have high hopes for it.
Most of them believed that the boss was dead and had forced themselves to accept this sad fact. Now they were focused on bringing Kelly’s ass back to Buffalo. Did he believe Tony was dead? You could say he was hiding his head in the sand, but he intended to remain an optimist until he saw Tony’s remains.
Back to Kelly. Back to this selfish bitch. With all due respect, she was a selfish bitch. Albert had previously considered her a decent person. It turned out he’d been wrong. Was he supposed to overstrain himself in their search for Kelly? To stres
s and develop more gray hair? Hell no! She didn’t deserve it. First, she was a grown woman, not a helpless baby. If she had even one shred of a brain in her head, she wouldn’t be chopped to pieces by some psycho, or drown in a lake, or get decapitated in a car crash, or end up in some other type of extreme trouble.
Second, Albert was not her nanny and had a hundred personal matters to worry about. Tony was the only reason he’d been putting forth an effort to look for Kelly. If he hadn’t thought that she knew where Tony was—or what had happened to him—he would have been less enthusiastic about all this. Josephine also had hinted that Tony might have made Kelly his successor of some sort, but he had big doubts about it, even though he had noticed that Kelly had been Tony’s favorite. Well, of course she was his favorite: why wouldn’t a guy with a healthy sex appetite be biased towards a young hot woman?
Stupid broad. How the hell had she managed to vanish without a trace in a place where it took very little effort to survive. It isn’t a war-ridden Somalia we’re talking about here. Millions—dozens of millions—of women in America had enough brains not to go missing and thus not to make other people nervous about it. Was Kelly dumber than these women? If she was, then Albert had no words. If you are an idiot, that's forever, Madam. There’s no cure for it.
That was what he had told Ron, Josephine, and Graham a week ago when they had discussed Kelly's disappearance for an umpteenth time.
“I think you're panicking too soon,” he said. “She could be working on her tan somewhere in Cabo San Lucas right now, for all we know.”
“Al, it’s been four days. She and Tony would never have left for four days without telling us,” objected Ron. “When someone is missing for that long, it’s time to worry.”
“Time to worry? I know her very well,” Albert said. “She loves having a good time. And Tony likes to hang out with her, you know that. If you want to find Kelly, let’s check Cancun first.”
“Why didn't she tell us she was leaving?” asked Graham. “Why didn't she tell her husband?”
“She doesn't give a shit about Frank. And it seems like she doesn’t give a shit about us, either. Maybe she’s bipolar. Who knows?”