“Yeah, I am. How about you? My aunt says you’re moving back.”
“Yeah, I needed a change. Too many memories in Columbus.”
“She told me your wife passed away. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, it’s been tough. Listen. I probably shouldn’t have come today. I’m not ready for this. Nothing against you, it’s just too soon.” Bobby backed up a step. “It was nice seeing you again, but I just can’t do this.” He walked away so quickly, she didn’t have time to say anything.
Crisis averted. Callie headed toward William and the games.
The games continued, saving the water balloons for later. A baseball game soon began. Glad for a chance to finally sit down, Callie pulled a chair into the shade. Aunt Beatrice Lulu joined her.
“Well dear, finally a chance to talk.”
Uh oh, here it came. Aunt Beatrice Lulu wasn’t going to forget their last conversation.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Callie tried to soften the blow a bit, change the subject, whatever you wanted to call it.
“Huh? Oh yes, beautiful. What happened to Bobby Hansen? Why did he leave?”
“He said he wasn’t ready for this. He’s still grieving for his wife. It probably wasn’t a good idea to invite him.”
“I see. About the other day.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu leaned toward Callie. “You were very impudent, my dear. You know I don’t appreciate that audacious attitude. It’s very disrespectful. Your mother taught you better than that.”
Looked like, an apology was definitely in order. No way to escape it. Didn’t matter if she meant it or not, only that it appeared genuine. And the sooner the better. “I’m sorry, Aunt Beatrice Lulu, it was very inconsiderate of me to speak to you that way.”
“Well now that’s out of the way, tell me about your young man. Very nice looking young man, by the way. You’ve done well for yourself, my dear. Where did you meet him? What kind of work does he do? How long have you known him?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
Luckily before she had a chance to say anything, Uncle Ed came to the rescue again.
“There’s my beautiful wife. What are you doing sitting here when we could be walking and enjoying the day?” Uncle Ed winked at Callie and helped Aunt Beatrice Lulu up.
“We’ll finish our conversation later, my dear.” She grabbed hold of Uncle Ed’s arm and off they went.
Interesting her aunt asked the very same questions they asked William. Probably to see if their stories matched and if he told them the truth. Such a distrustful person.
Callie decided to join the group and see if the game was almost over. It would be nice to spend some time alone with William. No more did she reach the field and the game broke up. Her cousins running every which way. That meant only one thing, water balloon free for all. Time she and William took a little walk.
Not that they could escape the balloons, three of her cousins raced around and ambushed them. That led in a chase from William, who managed to catch one of them. Not for long, because several other cousins attacked from behind. Callie tried to defend herself, but stood in the wide open.
It wasn’t long before an all out war ensued. Some on William’s side, some against them. Callie carefully made her way back to the tables. The only safe spot. Everyone knew the rules; tables with food were off limits. Her mother, grandmother and aunts were busy getting the food ready. Callie pitched in, got her salad out of the cooler and helped get a fire going.
“So, Callie, how long have you been keeping William a secret from us?” her cousin asked.
Callie shrugged. Wasn’t like William was a secret. Heck, they’d really only been out alone once.
“Yeah, Callie, why didn’t you tell us about him?” Aunt Lottie said.
“Oh for heaven sakes. There’s nothing to tell. I haven’t known him that long.”
“Yeah, right,” Maggie stuck her tongue out. “We know you were afraid to bring him around. Afraid we’d embarrass you?”
“Embarrass Callie?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu stood up. “What do you mean we’d embarrass her?”
Oh brother, now Maggie did it. How the heck was she going to get out of this one?
“Oh don’t be ridiculous. No one’s going to embarrass anyone and Callie’s not worried about that or she wouldn’t have brought that nice young man around at all.” Gram stepped forward. “Isn’t that right, Callie?”
Thank God for grandmothers. Callie blew her a kiss and mouthed thank you.
“Come on; let’s get this group together before the burgers burn. Hey, everyone, food’s ready, come and get it,” Gram shouted.
Kids came running from every direction, including her adult cousins. William looked the worse for wear, dripping wet from head to toe. “Looks like you jumped in a pool. What happened, did everyone gang up on you?”
“Initiation for the new guy,” her cousin Jake said and slapped William on his back. “Don’t worry, he’ll dry.”
William grabbed her in a bear hug. “Only fair you share in this.”
Someone came up behind and broke a water balloon over her head. Had to be one of the biggest water balloons she’d ever seen. Must have held a gallon or more of water. Instant drenching. Callie shook the water from her face. “Guess I match you, now. Okay, let’s eat. I’m starved.” She pulled William toward one of the tables.
“After dinner, we’re having a tree climbing contest,” William said.
“Tree climbing?”
“Yeah, I saw the neatest tree and thought it would be fun.”
“Oh, I know just the one you’re talking about,” Aunt Ethel said.
“Our horse tree,” Aunt Lottie chimed in.
“Horse tree?”
“Yes, that’s what we called it when we were little. We used to climb it and sit on the same branch. Bet I could still climb it,” Aunt Beatrice Lulu said.
“I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Bea.” Uncle Ed sounded concerned.
“Oh, balderdash. I’m still capable of climbing a tree. I’m not that old for goodness sake.”
“Hmph, I bet we could all still climb it, and I bet we all still fit on the same branch,” Aunt Ethel said. “Who’s up for it?”
Of course all the sisters agreed. After all, anything Ethel suggested they followed her lead.
“Good, after dinner we’ll do it.”
William leaned toward Callie. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Oh, don’t be silly. They do crazy stuff like this all the time.”
***
After dinner and all the tables were cleared, Aunt Ethel led the brigade. “Everyone ready for the tree climbing contest?”
“Bea, I don’t think this is a good idea. Please don’t climb.”
“Oh, stultiloquence.”
“What? Speak English for god’s sake.”
“Twaddle, gibberish, foolish talk. Is that plain English enough for you?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu stomped off ahead of the group.
“Well, guess she told me.” Uncle Ed stood scratching his head. “Damn fool woman’s gonna fall and break her leg, or neck, or something.”
“I heard that! What are you worried about that you’ll have to take care of me for a change?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu stopped, turned and put her hands on her hips. “Well, is that it?”
“Now, honey pie, you know that’s not true. I’m worried about you hurting yourself is all. Not to mention, we have plans for that cruise coming up. I’d hate for you to miss it.” Uncle Ed rubbed her arm as he talked.
“What do you mean, you’d hate for ME to miss it? You wouldn’t go without me, would you?”
“Of course not, honey pie. I wouldn’t dream of going without you.”
No one moved. Everyone stood watching. Waiting. Was Aunt Beatrice Lulu going to give in?
“Good!” She turned and headed for the tree. “I’m first up.”
“Oh, no you’re not.” Aunt Ethel hurried to the tree. “It was my idea for all of us to clim
b it, so I’m up first.”
“But it was my idea in the first place.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu stood her ground.
A gasp went up from everyone. No one talked back to Aunt Ethel, not even Aunt Beatrice Lulu. Ethel was like the matriarch.
Aunt Ethel threw her a look.
“Fine, go first, see if I care. But don’t ask me for help when you get stuck.”
“I’m not going to get stuck.” Aunt Ethel approached the tree, looked at it, took a breath and grabbed a branch.
“You always get stuck, don’t you remember. We always had to help you.”
Ethel turned and looked at everyone. “William, Jake, get over and give me a boost.”
“I told you, you’d get stuck.” The smirk on Aunt Beatrice Lulu’s face looked like the Cheshire cat.
“Oh hush.” Aunt Ethel stood on the boy’s hands, positioned herself this way and that, adjusted her boobs, pressed on her abundant belly, and finally managed to pull herself up. She grabbed onto the limb, straddled the branch, almost fell over the other side, but Jake jumped up and pushed her back. Finally, she pulled herself around into a sitting position. “There, you see. I’m up.”
“I’m going next.” Aunt Lottie jumped in front of Aunt Beatrice Lulu. Before she could object, Aunt Lottie climbed onto the boys’ hands and pulled herself up with ease. “Move forward Ethel, make room for the rest of us.”
Callie’s mother approached the other side of the tree and also climbed up with ease. Aunt Lottie and her mother were the thinnest and probably the most physically fit of the sisters.
“Well, I’ve never,” Aunt Beatrice Lulu blustered. “I see where Callie gets her insolence from.”
“Oh shush, if you’re coming up, do it already.” Ethel looked down from her perch.
Callie did have to admit seeing her mother and aunts in a tree was a sight to behold. She couldn’t wait to see Aunt Beatrice Lulu hoist herself up.
“Hmph.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu waddled to the tree, looked at the boys and waited. “Well, are you going to help me up or not?”
William and Jake looked at Uncle Ed. He nodded and joined them. “Okay, just be careful, Bea.”
“Just give me a boost. I can manage the rest myself.”
How that generously proportioned woman was going to maneuver her leg over that branch was beyond Callie. It was going to be a sight to see. The guys lifted her.
“Higher,” Aunt Beatrice Lulu said. “That’s it, just a little more.”
Already the woman was out of breath.
“Bea, I think you should come down.” Uncle Ed started to lower his hands.
“A little more, wait. I’ve got it.” Somehow, Aunt Beatrice Lulu managed to get on the branch. Problem was she lay there on her belly, head on one side, legs dangling on the other.
“Beatrice, Lulu Eberhardt, you come down from there right now.” Uncle Ed took a step back and looked at her.
Aunt Beatrice Lulu wiggled her legs and by some miracle managed to pull herself into a kneeling position. She balanced gingerly on the branch. Aunt Ethel, Aunt Lottie and Callie’s mother all turned to look at her. The looks on the aunts’ faces was too much. Callie backed up, grabbed her cell phone and took their picture.
“What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to fall and break your neck?” Aunt Ethel yelled. “For god sake woman, put one leg on either side of the branch.”
“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do? And stop yelling at me. Who the hell died and made you boss anyway. We’ve been taking orders from you for forty plus years, and I’m damn tired of it.”
With that there was a loud crack. The branch lurched but held. Uncle Ed rushed forward, reached up and grabbed Aunt Beatrice Lulu down. William grabbed Callie’s mother and Jake grabbed Aunt Lottie.
“What about me?” Aunt Ethel yelled. “Someone help me.”
Uncle Ed set Aunt Beatrice Lulu down, rushed back to the tree and grabbed Aunt Ethel just before the branch crashed to the ground. Talk about a close call.
“Whew, that was fun,” Aunt Ethel said.
“Fun? Are you crazy? If we hadn’t grabbed you off that branch before it broke, you’d all be in the hospital now, or worse, the morgue.”
“Oh, be still, Ed. We’re not, are we?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu said. “It was fun. I haven’t had that much fun since I was a little girl. Course climbing a tree was a bit easier back then.” She grabbed Uncle Ed’s hand. “Come on, let’s go to the playground.”
“Oh for heaven sake, Bea, haven’t you had enough excitement for one day?”
Aunt Beatrice Lulu stopped dead in her track. “Edgar Leroy Eberhardt, if you think for one minute I’m going to stop having fun just because I’m…” She looked around at everyone. “Just because you think I’m old, you’re crazier than a loon.” With that, she stomped off toward the playground.
Uncle Ed looked at everyone. “Guess she told me again.” He headed toward the playground. By time everyone else got there, Aunt Beatrice Lulu was on the platform for the sliding board.
Dear Lord, Callie hoped she wasn’t going to slide down the one with the tunnel. Especially since it was a corkscrew. Surely her aunt would get stuck. All of a sudden all the sisters raced toward the slides. Her mother went down a normal slide first, followed by Aunt Lottie and then Aunt Ethel.
“That was bumpy, but fun. Been years since I went down a slide.” Aunt Ethel stood and brushed herself off.
“Was a lot faster than I thought it would be. Good and slippery.” Aunt Lottie headed back up before Aunt Beatrice Lulu came down and landed at the bottom with a thud.
Good thing there was safety cork on the ground, Callie thought. Although even with that the way her aunt landed, she could have hurt herself. But, she pushed herself up and followed her sisters. Oh no, Aunt Lottie came through the corkscrew. Callie’s mom followed and Aunt Ethel yelled as she slid down. Callie held her breath. Aunt Beatrice Lulu positioned herself, let go, and started to slide. She disappeared into the tunnel. Everyone waited. No Aunt Beatrice Lulu. Suddenly, strange noises came from the tunnel. Uncle Ed hurried over.
“Bea, are you okay?”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“Stuck? Did you say you were stuck?”
A loud crash came from inside the tunnel. Apparently my aunt kicked the slide.
Uncle Ed crawled up the slide. “I’m going to pull your feet, okay?”
Nothing happened. No Uncle Ed, no Aunt Beatrice Lulu.
Finally, Uncle Ed reappeared. “Jake you go up top and see if you can pull her up or push her down.”
Jake jumped onto the platform and disappeared into the top end of the tunnel. Uncle Ed crawled back up at the bottom. Everyone waited. Even the little kids stood transfixed.
“How did Aunt Beatrice Lulu get stuck?” Charlie, Aunt Lottie’s five year old grandson, asked.
“I’m afraid she’s a little too big for this slide,” Aunt Lottie answered.
Jake appeared at the top of slide. “She’s wedged in there pretty good.”
“Maybe we can take the slide apart.” William went toward the slide and looked at the sides. “Just a few bolts holding the tunnel on. I have some wrenches in my car.”
Uncle Ed appeared from the bottom of the slide. “That’s probably the only way we’ll get her out. Go get your wrenches, I’ll tell her.”
“Hey kids, why don’t you go play on the swings?” William said.
“Great idea, come on, last one there is a rotten egg.” Callie took off toward the swings. No reason for the kids to stand there and watch. There were enough spectators with her aunts and cousins. Fortunately, her older cousins came along to the swings, so there were enough adults to keep the kids amused. If the situation wasn’t so serious, she’d laugh. Picturing Aunt Beatrice Lulu stuck in that corkscrew caused a chuckle anyway. Thank goodness William had tools. Otherwise, they’d probably have to call for park maintenance. And God only knew how long that would take.
William came back a few minutes
later. Callie joined him. Uncle Ed came down from the platform.
“How’s she doing?” Callie asked.
“Hanging in there. Not sure how. You know she’s claustrophobic, don’t you?”
Callie shook her head. “No, I didn’t know that.” Her aunt must be going crazy by now. Callie couldn’t imagine being trapped like that, especially being claustrophobic. Poor Aunt Beatrice Lulu. It was the first time Callie felt any compassion for the woman.
Uncle Ed went back to the platform and disappeared into the top of the tunnel. Callie could hear him talking to her aunt in soothing tones. Aunt Beatrice Lulu definitely had a keeper there.
William and Jake worked on different sides of the slide. “Hopefully, we’ll only have to remove this top section,” Jake said. “Maybe then we can pull her out.
A few minutes later, the top section came off. Aunt Beatrice Lulu was stuck in the twists of the cork screw. Her head and arms were stuck in the first section. The rest of her was in another twist. Talk about an uncomfortable position. Aunt Beatrice Lulu took several deep breaths, brought her arms forward and tried to pull herself free. “At least I can breathe again.”
Uncle Ed leaned down and hugged her. “I swear, woman, when are you going to start listening to me?”
Aunt Beatrice Lulu patted his head. “Someday, my love, someday.”
“Looks like we have to remove the next section,” Jake said. Are you sure you can’t pull yourself up?”
Uncle Ed tried pulling to no avail.
“Can you bend your knees?” William asked.
“A little.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu said.
“Okay, Jake, crawl up the slide from the bottom. Bend your knees, Jake will hold your feet so they don’t slide, and you and Ed can try to pull. Okay, ready Jake?”
“Ready.”
“On three okay? One, two, three, bend your knees, push and pull.”
“She moved a little,” Jake yelled. “Let’s try it again.”
“Okay,” William said. “On three. One, two, three, push.”
Aunt Beatrice Lulu moved a little more. “Are you okay? Anything hurt?”
She shook her head. “Uncomfortable, not in pain. Let’s take a breath and try it again.”
All In The Family Page 10