by Baker, LJ
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I know you don’t. You think I wanna leave you?”
“Maybe.” I pouted.
He pulled me back against him and paused, his lips so close to mine that I could feel his breath against them. “If it were up to me, you’d never be out of my sight.” His voice was low and deep. Something about the sound sent my pulse racing and kicked the temperature up a few notches.
I had trouble finding my voice, and it came out as a whisper. “How long do you have?”
His eyes traveled over me with excruciating slowness. When they reached my mouth, he stopped and licked over his bottom lip to moisten it. After a pause, his eyes finished their journey and found mine. “Not long enough.”
Nearly every cell in my body screamed out in protest and wanted more. The only part not in agreement was a tiny bit of my brain that was afraid and worried that I wasn’t quite ready for the next step. At least for the time being, the choice was out of my hands. He didn’t have long, and when it did happen, neither of us wanted to rush.
Chapter Four
“When’s your guy due back?” Jack laid down his cards and leaned his head back against the wall.
My stomach jumped. I hated to think about it. “Two days ago.”
“Any word?”
“Yesterday morning. They sent word back that it was going to take longer, but that’s it.”
“So that’s why your game is shit tonight.”
I rolled my eyes at the old man. “I won the last hand.”
“I let you. Figured we could use a change up.”
I lifted up his cards and sure enough, he let me win. By a lot. “Sorry. I’m not used to all this worry. It just … consumes me.”
“Yeah.” He closed his eyes for a long moment then opened them again. “Why don’t you take on a full time position here at the infirmary? Skip that military nonsense. Stay where you will be safe.”
I really would much rather be there, helping the sick and injured, than outside kicking zombie ass, but I needed to be with Will. “Aww, you gonna miss me when I’m gone?”
“You’re assuming I won’t be gone before you are.”
“According to Nurse Sue, yes. I’ll be done here in a few days. You, on the other hand, still have some time to put in.”
Jack waved his hand through the air between us. “Bah! That crotchety old bitch would keep me in here until I rotted if she could. One of these days, I’m gonna make a break for it when she is in there absorbed in one of her love books.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Jack wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met. Even through his pessimism, sarcasm, and general negative outlook on life, he brightened my day. I was actually starting to enjoy going over there and helping out. Even more, I liked hanging out with him. Sure, he was a seventy-five year old, one-legged, grumpass, but I couldn’t help but love the old bastard.
Nurse Sue peered around the corner from her office hideaway. “Isn’t it time you left for the evening and let everyone get some rest?”
Everyone but Jack was already asleep, and if he wanted me gone, he had no trouble saying so, but I wasn’t going to argue with her. She enjoyed having me there to help out so she could have some free time, but I knew she didn’t especially like me. I put away the cards and said goodnight to Jack. I wasn’t exactly eager to get back to my room alone, but really, I had nowhere else to go.
I’d gotten used to Will’s warm body next to me at night. Knowing he was there always made me sleep better, although Janet’s insane training schedule helped as well. When he wasn’t there, I tossed and turned all night. It was one thing when he was on night shift, but when he was out on a mission, I worried. Even in my sleep.
The bitch gang was on the landing again, and there was no shortage of snickers as I squeezed past the lot of them. They knew they had me. I might be able to kick their asses in a fight, but if I wanted to have more time with Will, I needed to stay out of trouble and finish my training. That meant ignoring them, at least until I graduated the program.
I walked past Hadley’s door and thought about stopping in. She was certainly on the weird side, but she was nice to me and I didn’t have the luxury to be picky about friends. Her light was out, so I decided against it.
I used to take for granted that my friends would always be around. Even in the early days of the outbreak, my best friends were there, hidden away safely in my basement. It never even occurred to me then that there would come a time when they’d be gone forever. I had Will and Janet, but it wasn’t the same. I missed having friends.
I got maybe two hours of sleep, but I couldn’t wait to get out of bed and do something to keep my mind off Will not being back. I was suddenly grateful for Janet’s grueling, six day a week schedule, and I was up, dressed, and down there, before any of the other girls even finished breakfast.
“Did you knock out another girl?” Janet eyed me with suspicion.
“Of course not. Why?”
“Because most days, you’re the last one to arrive and you act like you’re asleep the first half hour of the session. What’s up?”
“Nothing, geez. Can’t a girl just be excited to get to work?”
Janet raised an eyebrow. “Not when that girl is you.”
One of the military guys that was always hanging around, Derek, called over a quick hi, and Janet turned to wave. Her whole demeanor changed, and she actually smiled a real, genuine smile.
“What’s with that?”
“What?” She was back to her usual self, the smile wiped from existence.
“You like him.” I couldn’t hold back a smile, even though it elicited a death glare from Janet.
“It’s none of your business.”
“Oh. You more than like him. You two are seeing each other.” A mix of happiness for Janet and amusement over her embarrassment bubbled over into a smile that she couldn’t have punched from my face, even though her expression told me she’d like to try.
“Seriously, mind your own business.”
“What’s the big deal? Is it a secret?”
Janet dropped her bag and let the air out of her lungs hard. “No. It’s not a secret. It’s just … I don’t know … new. I’m not sure what it is. But yes, if you must know, we’ve been spending time together for a few weeks.”
I had a hard time imagining Janet being a normal girl in a relationship. “How much time?”
Janet tried to hide a hint of a smile but was failing. “Maybe a lot.”
“Does Will know?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. We don’t really talk about that stuff.”
I glanced back over at Derek, who was still looking in our direction. “You wanna go over and give him a big sloppy kiss or something?”
Janet rolled her eyes. “Are you ever going to grow up?”
“Probably not. It’s one of my endearing qualities.”
“It isn’t.” Janet turned to look at Derek, then back to me.
“Maybe he wants something? Ya’ know, in addition to that kiss.”
“I’ll be right back.” Janet huffed and jogged down the hill to talk to Derek.
He wasn’t half bad. Tall, blonde buzz cut, crystal blue eyes, a chest the size of a tank. Even Janet couldn’t ignore how hot the guy was, and from the looks of her, she wasn’t trying. She was looking up at him with big doe eyes and laughing at something he said. Somehow, the idea of Janet talking to a boy and acting like a girl was stranger to me than a virus that left rotting corpses hobbling around eating anything with a pulse.
Janet smiled the whole way back over. She didn’t even try to hide it even though I was giving her a goofy smirk.
“I see you got your big sloppy kiss.”
“There’s nothing sloppy about the way he kisses.” Janet tossed a duffle bag at me and composed herself.
The other girls were on their way up the hill for training. She might be starting to warm up to the idea of letting her guard down with me a tiny bit, but she
was never going to let the other girls in her squad see that side of her. She shot me a look that told me I better not open my mouth in front of the group. I pretended to turn a key in front of my lips to let her know I’d keep quiet. Not that any of those girls were going to strike up a conversation with me anyway.
After training, Janet asked me to stay behind and help her with the equipment. The other girls made their usual comments under their breath, but honestly, they were getting easier to ignore. Sure, I wanted some friends, but if those immature bitches were my only options, I’d rather be alone.
“Maybe you should have asked your boyfriend to help. Derek probably could have carried all this junk with one arm.”
Janet half-smiled. “I’m sure he could have. I figured you could use a little separation with those girls. After the crap they were giving you, I didn’t want you walking down with them.”
“It’s nothing new, Janet. I have to go past them every night when I come home from the infirmary.”
Janet thought for a moment. “How long has this been going on?”
“Oh, about as long as I’ve been here.”
“How come you never mentioned it?”
I shrugged. “I figured you knew. They give me shit through every session. Plus, what are you even going to do about it? You can’t say anything or you’ll make it worse. Like you love to point out, I’m not a kid anymore. I can handle it.”
Janet snorted. “Like you handled it when you popped Donna in the mouth?”
I looked up at her and smirked. “It was a nice shot though, wasn’t it?”
Janet and I both laughed at the same time.
Hadley noticed us walking out of the supply shack and waved.
“What about her?” Janet nodded her head in the direction of Hadley.
“What about her?”
“She seems to like you. You hang out with her?”
“Not really, but she keeps asking me to come by and check out her collections.”
“Why haven’t you?” Janet locked up the shack and glanced back in Hadley’s direction. “Everyone needs friends, Andi.”
I clamped both hands together over my heart with dramatic flair “You mean you’re not my friend? I’m wounded.”
Janet rolled her eyes. “Even though most days I’d like to staple you to a wall, douse you with gasoline, and set you on fire, yes, I’m your friend. Which also means if some bitch is giving you a hard time, you can come to me. There are other ways to deal with bullies than calling them out on it.”
“Such as?”
Janet smiled. “I’m the one who decides how much work they do around here, remember?”
I nudged her in the side with my elbow. “Janet, I like the way you think.”
Hadley skipped her way over and stopped a few feet away, twirling a dandelion back and forth between her fingers.
“Don’t be late for our one-on-one session.” Janet nodded a hello to Hadley, and left in the direction of the dining hall.
Hadley’s mouth curved up into a huge grin, and she took a few steps toward me. “Hello, Andi. Would you like to have lunch together today?”
“Sure.”
“Oh, most wonderful.” She swung her satchel around and opened it to reveal some sandwiches wrapped in napkins and fresh fruit.
“Is that a banana?” I pushed the sandwiches aside to get a better look. “And grapes?”
“Hadley beamed. “It most certainly is.”
“How did you get that? Is that what they’re serving for lunch?” Fresh fruit was rare and at the base. There were too many mouths to feed to ever have enough of anything that good.
Hadley laughed and shook her head. “Oh, no. Most definitely not. This is a special treat.” She held out her arm for me to take. “Shall we go find an enjoyable spot to dine?”
Oh, what the hell.
I shrugged, looped my arm into Hadley’s, and went to find a place for lunch. It would be good not to sit alone in the dining hall for a change. Even when Will wasn’t gone, he often had to work and ended up taking lunch with his squad later in the day, so most days, I ate alone.
We found a nice spot toward the bottom of the hill where Hadley often sat during the mornings. She never seemed to do anything out there, but she spent a lot of time just sitting in the grass. Sometimes people would stop by and talk to her for a few minutes, but no one ever stayed long. It didn’t seem like she had many friends, either.
“So Hadley, how did you get this food?”
“I did someone a favor. When is Will due back from his mission? I hear that he is gone quite often.” She pulled out one of the sandwiches and handed it to me with a clump of the grapes.
“He should have already been back a couple days ago.”
She set her food down on the grass and carefully unwrapped the napkin. “Are you not worried?”
“I’m definitely worried, but there’s not much I can do about it.” Inside the napkin was a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce and stuffing, dripping with gravy. It was like a thanksgiving meal between two thick slices of bread. My mouth watered at the sight of it. I opened my mouth wide and took a huge bite. “Mmmm.”
Hadley smiled and took a small nibble from her sandwich. “I am glad that you are enjoying the food. You deserve a good meal after working so hard.”
Hadley continued to nibble at her sandwich while I stuffed enormous bites of deliciousness into my mouth, not able to get enough. My stomach ached as I forced the last bit down my throat. It was the best meal I’d had in longer than I could remember.
“That was amazing, Hadley. Thank you so much.” I laid back in the grass and looked up at the clouds floating by. It was almost like everything was normal again. Just two girls hanging out and having some lunch.
“You are very welcome, Andi. Would you like the rest of mine?”
I groaned. “My stomach will explode.” But if I could have fit it, I would have gladly accepted.
Hadley giggled a little. “Let us hope not.”
The lunch bell blurted its double ring, signaling the end of lunch. I had no more than ten minutes to meet Janet for our one-on-one session, and my over indulgence during lunch left me ready for a nap. I was going to pay the price for my gluttony, but it was so worth every bite.
“I better get going, Hadley. Again, thanks for the awesome food.”
“You will come and visit with me soon?” Hadley jumped to her feet and brushed grass from her skirt.
“Yeah. Maybe tomorrow when I don’t have training, if that’s okay?”
Hadley clapped her hands together and bounced up and down. “Yes, that will be most wonderful!”
I cleaned up my lunch trash and left Hadley to finish. By the time I got up the hill with my overfull stomach, my feet were dragging, and Janet was standing with her hand on her hip giving me an impatient look. I knew it was going to be a long day.
“Let’s get a move on, Andi.”
“Sorry, Janet. I might need a few minutes to digest. Hadley gave me the most amazing sandwich. You wouldn’t believe what she—”
“Are you kidding me? You’re struggling up the hill like a sloth because you ate too much?”
“Hey, you encouraged me to hang out with her.”
“I didn’t tell you to make a pig out of yourself. We have work to do.”
“I know. I’m really sorry, but if you saw that sandwich. It was like a thanksgiving feast.”
Janet rolled her eyes. “I hope you don’t think I’m going easy on you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I blew her a kiss and dropped my gear to get ready. “Any news on Will?”
Janet shook her head. “Try not to worry. I’m sure he’s fine. You need to focus on training right now.” She pulled out the sparring gear, and I knew I was in trouble. No matter how much training I did, I was never going to be a match for Janet. Especially not with a half pound of turkey sloshing around in my stomach. “Ready?” She tossed me some headgear, and I knew it didn’t matter if I was or
not. I was getting my ass kicked.
Three hours later, I was face first in the grass, panting, and begging Janet to release my arm from behind my back. I managed to only puke up half of the turkey sandwich, but it was still worth every bite. Somehow I made it through my time at the infirmary and back to my room before I collapsed from exhaustion. At least it kept me from worrying about Will too much, but that didn’t stop the nightmares. I was grateful to have the next day off from training so I could sleep in and recover from the day.
Chapter Five
"Three days, Will. You were supposed to be gone one." My arms slid around his neck and held tightly.
"I'm really sorry. We got cut off and had to take a much longer route to be safe. We lost Dave." His eyes dropped.
Will always took it hard when someone on his team didn't make it. "I'm so sorry. Is Dave the one with the new baby?"
"No. That's Mark. Dave was the redhead." He pulled away and sat down on the bed.
I sat down next to him and leaned my head against his arm. "I was really worried about you."
He put his arm around me and nuzzled his face into my hair. "I know. Things will be different soon."
I was trying to find the right moment to have a real conversation with him about our future and possibly leaving the base, but the time never seemed right. Or he didn’t want to discuss it.
I started to open my mouth, figuring there was never going to be a better time anyway, when he caught me off guard.
He turned, put his hands around my hips, and lifted me onto his lap. "Now show me how much you missed me."
Will's waiting lips took precedence over talking, and just about anything else for that matter. I brought my mouth down on his, hard and needy. All the stress and worry over the last three days without him bubbled to the surface. My hands came up to his hair and tangled in his silky strands.
He pulled me closer, taking my frenzied assault with matched desperation, as if the kiss could wipe away everything bad from the past three days. We separated only when the need to breathe refused to be ignored. Both of us sat panting and stared into each other's eyes.