by Baker, LJ
All together the girls said at once, "Awww."
My cheeks grew warm, and I felt self-conscious saying the words aloud for the first time. I had never talked about my feelings for Will with anyone, and there I was, pouring my heart out to three middle-schoolers I’d never met before.
"I had a boyfriend before the outbreak," Allie said. The other girls looked at her surprised. It was clear they hadn't heard about it before. "He gave me a necklace for my birthday." She reached under her collar and pulled out a cheap looking ball chain necklace with a heart pendant. It was tarnished and left a greenish mark around her neck. "It was the last birthday present I ever got." She dropped her eyes down to look at the heart.
"What happened to him?" Sandy asked, her eyes wide and innocent. I wanted there to be a happy ending, if for nothing else than to keep Sandy in her safe little bubble of childhood, but I knew what was coming.
Without taking her eyes off the pendant, she answered. "He showed up at my door a few days after the virus hit our town and bit my mother in the face. My father blew his head off."
No one spoke for the next few minutes. A few tears fell down Sandy's face. She didn't even bother to wipe them away.
The girls would never get to do so much, and I hurt for them. The best I could do was to send them off to the military base where they could have as close to normal of a life that was possible in our post zombie apocalypse world.
I stood up and looked over the girls. "Look, I really do have to get going. If you can make it to the military base, you will be safe there." Guilt washed over me, and I wanted to say 'forget it, I'll take you,’ but instead I stayed quiet. They were better off in a community with other people. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than coming with me.
Sam stood up and pulled Allie with her. "Just go then. We don't need your help. We are just fine on our own."
I said almost identical words so many times myself. I convinced myself that I didn't need anyone, that I could handle everything on my own, and I was wrong. I needed people. I wasn't just fine on my own, and neither were those three little girls.
"You are not just fine on your own. You can try to convince yourself, like I used to do, or you can admit what you know in your heart is true. You need help. I can offer you help, Sam. If you want, you can come with me. I can't promise you'll be safe, but you can come. Your best bet is to go to the military base where I know you will be safe, but there's no guarantee you will make it there in one piece if you go alone. That's the best I can do." I stood up, facing the girls. A decision had to be made. There were only a few hours of daylight left, and I needed to find shelter for the night.
Sandy and Allie looked to Sam for direction. It was clear they relied on her to keep them safe, but she was just a child. She shouldn't have to shoulder so much responsibility on her own.
The radio in my pack flipped on, and a garbled voice came through with static. I pulled it out and held my ear close to see if I could make out what was being said.
"Janet … I’ve … twenty … worry … soon.”
There was more static, and then silence. I was pretty sure it was Derek. He had to be in range, or close enough to it, for communication to be working. I pressed the talk button and figured I'd give it a try. Maybe he would have better luck hearing me.
"Derek, it's Andi. We had some trouble. I have three young girls here who need help."
Allie narrowed her eyes and looked over me. "Who's Janet and Derek?"
"The people I came out here with. Derek is a soldier. He had to bring another girl back to the base because she was sick."
"And Janet? Where is she?" Allie asked, not trusting me one bit.
I looked away. The pain was fresh, and just the mention of her name felt like a punch in the gut. "She didn't make it."
No matter how the girls managed to survive, they had to understand how things worked in the world since the outbreak. Everyone lost people, a lot of people. It never got any easier, but you had to go on anyway.
Static broke through on the radio again. "Andi … didn’t … you soon …”
I didn't bother to respond. He wasn't quite close enough but I knew he would be soon. Thanks to the GPS locator on the unit, he wouldn't have too much difficulty finding me.
I didn't want to be the one to break the news to Derek, even though I knew Janet would have wanted me to. She cared about him. There was no denying it, and I knew he cared about her too. Not that there was much I could do for him. Janet was gone. There was no bringing her back. Breaking it to him gently would offer little comfort, because in the end, nothing could change what happened.
I looked at the three girls standing in front of me trying to look brave, but failing miserably. There was nothing Derek could do for Janet, but Sam, Sandy, and Allie, needed help.
I pulled Janet's journal out of my bag and tore out a sheet of paper to jot down a note to Derek.
Dear Derek,
I am sorry to give you this news in a letter, but I know that no matter how you hear it, the pain will be just as great. Early this morning, Janet and I met with a couple unfriendlies. We did our best and managed to take them both out, but she didn't make it. She cared for you very deeply, and I know she would want you to move on.
I have left to continue my search for Will. Finding him won't make her death any less devastating, but at least it will have been for something. I'm leaving the radio and this letter with three young girls I came across who need your help much more than I do. Please get them to the safety of the base so they have some sort of chance. On their own, they have none.
Thanks for trying to help find Will. I know you probably think he is dead too, but it meant a lot that you were willing to come out here and search nonetheless. Please be safe.
Andi
I folded the paper and handed it with the radio to Sam. "Take these. Derek will find you and get you to safety. Make sure he gets the note. It's very important."
Sam took the items from me, but held onto my hand. "Where are you going?"
"I have to find my friend. I'm sorry to leave you here, but it shouldn't be too long until Derek finds you. And for God's sake, stay out of sight until then."
The girls stood holding hands next to a tree on the side of the road, watching me leave. There was no way to know how fast Derek would get to them, but it would probably be a couple hours off. His radio had a decent range and still wasn't coming in clear when I left them. I turned and gave them one last look before I was out of sight and hoped they would be okay.
Chapter Fifteen
The further I walked, the more bodies I came across. Most were infected, but some weren't. Every once in awhile, there was one from our military, even one I recognized. I felt bad leaving him there, but there was little I could do. As sad as it was to see him there, it gave me hope. If he got pushed back this far, maybe Will had too.
Someone had already been through, picking over the remains. Backpacks were open and emptied next to corpses, and pockets were turned out. It was the harsh reality of our world. I had done my share of scavenging since the outbreak. The dead didn't need those things, and the living had to survive.
I had to pass through a town with storefronts on both sides and a car dealership, complete with a lot full of empty vehicles. Plenty of places for anything, dead or alive, to hide. My stomach twirled with nerves. I hadn't been through an area like that since I had been kidnapped by the cousins, and I did not need a repeat of that.
I stepped light and took my time, making my way around bodies and junk in the street. I wanted to blink my eyes and find myself on the other side of town, but that wasn't going to happen, so I continued, one step at a time. A dog barked up ahead, and I knew that wasn't going to be an uneventful stroll through town. Dogs seemed to all but disappear since the outbreak. The only time you saw them was with people, and that was rare. I wasn't sure if they had the smarts to find a safer place or if they were being used for food, but whatever it was, dogs were scarce. I could only imagine the barking did
n't help.
My heart thumped hard in my chest, and I was sure that anyone lurking around was bound to hear it. That was a chance I had to take. My mind was made up. I was heading toward my family home. If I didn't find Will by then, I could regroup there and decide what to do.
The barking got closer with each step I took. It was a high-pitched yappy sound like one of those tiny dogs celebrities carried around in over-priced handbags and adorned with diamond studded collars. My hand gripped the bow hard and forced the blood back, leaving my knuckles snow white and stretched so tight they ached. I didn't want to be out there alone. I would have given almost anything to have Janet by my side. Even Hadley would be better than being out here alone, and she had zero self-defense skills.
The hair on the back of my neck prickled up, and I swore I could feel eyes on me. I wasn't alone. I had another half mile to get through the town, and the possibilities of what could go wrong plagued me. There was no evidence that whoever was out there meant me any harm, but just because they hadn't made a move so far didn't mean I was safe. I had enough experience to know nothing could be taken for granted.
I made it past a hardware store, pharmacy, and a small cafe. The storefronts were in decent shape, as if they were just closed down for a holiday weekend, not abandoned for almost two years. It was rare to see shops that weren't broken in and clearly looted. Chances were, they had been cleared out, but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was untouched treasure waiting inside. I pushed thoughts of inspecting the shops out of my head and hurried down the road. I just had to clear one more block of shops and the car dealership. No big deal.
I made it nearly to the end of the block when the yapping mixed with growling became piercing. The place was eerily quiet otherwise, and I stopped to look around. From around the side of one of the shops, the source of all the noise came running and nipped at my feet. It was a fat little long-hair Chihuahua, and it wasn't happy to see me. Its overgrown hair flowed down from its ears and face, making it look like an evil gremlin who had been fed after midnight.
I knelt down and extended my hand to the beast so it would see I wasn't a threat. It sniffed my hand and growled with its teeth bared. One good kick and the thing would be history, not that I would have done it, but the thought did cross my mind. I gave it a scratch on the back of the head, and it slowly started to wag its tail. The collar around its neck said its name was Precious. Sewer Gremlin would have been more fitting.
For a moment, I forgot my surroundings and petted the little dog. Janet would have smacked me in the back of the head and lectured me until my ears bleed for such behavior. It was stupid, and I realized that as I heard footsteps behind me. I stayed crouched down with the dog and waited. There wasn't much I could do at that point. I was in a bad position.
"Hands over your head and stand up nice and slow," a male voice with a slight southern drawl said from behind me. He was calm, but serious, with the kind of authority one didn't question.
I held out my hands and stood. He inched his way around in front of me with his bow pointed at my head. The dog renewed its barking and stood by the man's side.
"Look, I don't want any trouble, I'm just passing through trying to get home." I heard more footsteps behind me but was afraid to turn around.
"You alone?" he asked, never wavering with his aim on my skull. He would kill me in an instant if he thought I was a threat, but at the same time, I didn't get the sense that he meant me any harm.
My eyes dropped for a moment to remember Janet. "Yes. I am now."
His eyes softened a bit, and I knew he understood exactly what that meant. A young girl, maybe thirteen or fourteen years old, came from behind me and snatched up the dog. She slid behind the man and clutched the animal to her chest. He looked a little young to be her father, but anything was possible.
He looked me over with narrowed eyes and stepped forward to look through my bag. I had a gun and knife in there that he must have seen in addition to the knife on my belt and bow slung over my shoulder. It would be strange to find someone walking alone without weapons, so it couldn't have been a surprise to him.
He stepped back and stared into me as if he was trying to figure me out. After a moment, he lowered the bow and extended a hand. "Name's Jay."
That seemed like a good sign. I took his hand and gave it a firm shake. "Andi."
The girl peeked out from behind Jay and stepped forward a bit.
"That's Jenny, and you've already met Precious, the current thorn in my side." He smiled and slung the bow over his shoulder.
I let out a breath, and my panic dialed down. "Very nice to meet you." I held out my hand to Jenny, and she looked up to Jay for permission before inching forward to take it.
"What way you headed? There's a massive horde heading in from the west." Jay shifted on his feet and shook out his leg as if it was bothering him.
I scratched the top of the dog's head and avoided the question about which way I was headed. Jay seemed like a decent guy, but I didn't know him and wasn't about to just offer up where I was going. "Not so much anymore. The military group took out the majority of it. There's still stragglers and possibly more on the way, but they finished off hundreds."
Jay smiled. "Smart not to tell a stranger where you're headed. I'm guessing you were with that military group that went to work on the horde, but something tells me that's not where you're going now."
I smiled back and stayed quiet.
"Well I suppose I should send you off on your way then." Jay looked down the road then checked behind him.
My stomach let out a loud rumble. Food had been the last thing on my mind.
Jay pursed his lips together and took a deep breath before looking behind him once more. "I supposed you could stay for lunch before moving on, if you want to."
I peered around Jay in the direction he kept looking. As much as I wanted to trust him, I could tell something, or someone, was back there. Until I knew what that was, I wasn't about to let down my guard.
Jay noticed my hesitation and called out behind him. "Mira, come on out here, would ya?"
A sassy little brunette dressed in black jogged over. She kept her hand on the knife in her belt and eyed me critically.
"Baby, this is Andi. She's passing through. I invited her to lunch, if that's all right with you?" Jay put his arm around the woman, and it was obvious they were together.
Mira narrowed her eyes and brought her hand up to her hip. She wasn't sure I could be trusted and she wanted me to know. She looked up at Jay and opened her mouth to protest.
Jay ran his hand through her hair and smiled. "It's fine, Mir. It's only a meal. Remember when we used to have people over for lunch?"
Mira huffed. "Yeah, but we knew those people."
"Look, it's no big deal. I don't want to cause trouble. I'll just be on my way. It was nice to meet you all." I pushed my pack back onto my shoulder and prepared to leave.
Jay gave Mira a look and she caved. "Hold on. You're welcome to stay," Mira said through clenched teeth. She wasn't happy about it, but I got the feeling she did what Jay wanted, regardless.
I thought about telling her no thanks, but I really was hungry and wondered if I could convince them to let me spend the night. Even though I didn't know them, I liked my chances with those three rather than out there alone.
"Are you sure?" I directed my question at Mira. It would be easier to stay, but if she really was against it, I would rather go.
Jay nudged her and flashed her a sweet smile. He slid his arm down around her waist and pulled her against him. She giggled and playfully pushed him away. I waited for them to finish their flirting. A twinge of pain in my chest reminded me that I might never see Will again.
Jenny cleared her throat loudly and rolled her eyes. "Don't you two ever get tired of each other?" She put the dog down at Mira's feet and sat down on the curb behind them.
Mira laughed, her mood softening. "It's fine if you stay. If Jay thinks you're okay, then
it's all good." She looked back at Jay, serious this time. "I trust him with my life."
"Great, now let's get some food. I'm starving." Jay smacked Mira on the ass and led me toward lunch.
We went behind a fence and around back of the shops. Jay pointed out several areas to be careful of because he had traps set all over the place to help ensure their safety. It was a good thing I didn't try to check out any of the stores. At the very least, I would have lost an arm or leg. Jay was serious about that shit and wasn't afraid to maim or kill anyone who could be a threat to the people he cared about. Good thing he decided to trust me.
Jay led us into the cafe from the back. The doors and windows were covered in iron bars and metal sheathing. From the front, everything looked normal, but apparently, there was a doormat rigged to an electrical charge that would fry anyone who stepped on it. Jay used everything in the hardware shop to secure a couple of the buildings to keep them safe and to get rid of anyone who tried to get in. Personally, a little warning would be nice.
The place smelled wonderful. Mira lifted the lid on a large pot of steamy goodness. She let me peek inside and see that it was some sort of stew. Small chunks of meat floated in a thick sauce with fresh carrots, potatoes, and a few other vegetables, probably from a garden. I wasn't sure what animal the meat came from, but I didn't need to know.
My stomach growled in anticipation. "It smells amazing, Mira."
She flashed me a proud smile and started scooping portions into four bowls that Jenny handed her. She passed one to each of us, and we sat down at a cozy table in the corner.
"So, do they have food like this on the military base?" Jay asked and stuffed a huge forkful of stew into his mouth.
"Occasionally, though it never tastes this good." I savored the meat a moment in my mouth. It tasted like beef, if that were even possible anymore.
Mira put her fork down and looked over me. "What's it like there?"
I wasn't quite sure how to answer that after the things I saw that I still didn't have answers for. "Well … it's sort of like a small community where everyone pitches in and works. The military is in charge, obviously. People have 'apartments', you could call them, make-shift offices turned into living space. Small, but it works. There's a medical center with a nurse or aid always on duty. They do have one doctor and a few medics, so generally, healthcare needs are covered."