by Autumn Sand
“Of course I am.” I stretch and give an exaggerated yawn.
Rubbing the top of my head, which is on her lap, she laughs at me. “We really should be helping with the rest of the wedding stuff.”
I sit up and lean my back against the tree we have taken shade under in our favorite place in the park. “What more do we need to do? The wedding is tomorrow.”
Kayla rolls her eyes and elbows me lightly in the ribs. “You would say something like that, Dante Moore.”
As I pull her into my lap, she lets out a yelp. I place my hand on her stomach and rub it gently, hoping to feel the baby move. “Well, soon-to-be Mrs. Moore, what else should we be doing?”
She shrugs lightly and places her hands on top of mine. Her gold engagement ring shines in the sunlight. I couldn’t afford a large diamond like she deserves, but I promised her a bigger diamond one day. Kayla didn’t care and threatened to throw away a new ring if I dared to try to get her a bigger ring. We’re having an Indian summer this autumn, and I wanted to take advantage of it while we still can. So I planned a picnic for the two of us today so we can just be us and not stress about wedding plans. As long as we both say I do tomorrow, who cares about the rest?
“I love you, Dante. You’re going to be a great father.”
“You’re going to be a great mom. I hope our kids look like you.”
She laughs at my comment as a blush forms on her cheeks. I love to see her laugh, and often get lost in her eyes. “Nothing doing, mister smooth talker. We really should help our parents. There’s still a lot to do.”
A chill goes through me and it’s warm out. “Let’s just hang out a little longer. I just want some time with just us. Me and you. We haven’t had any time alone in the past few weeks with all the wedding preparations.”
She exhales and then gives me a slow smile. “Okay. Just you and me it is.”
I kiss her gently at first, but something comes over me and I pull her in for a deeper kiss. This is a kiss I don’t want to ever end. She pushes me away gently and places her hand over her stomach and smiles. “The baby is kicking.”
Our baby has just recently started moving and it’s still amazing to me. I place my hand over her stomach again and bend to talk to the baby. “Hey there, it’s Dad. I can’t wait to see you in four more months. I love you and your mommy very much.” I feel the tiny nudge on my cheek and my heart is full of love for both of them. They are my family and I will always protect them.
“You know, sometimes I think the baby really does hear your voice when you talk.” She rubs the top of my head gently.
Sitting up and looking at her, I grin. “You think? Hate to think I’m doing this for nothing.”
She shoves me gently and I pretend to fall backward. “Come on, I have to go the bathroom.”
I help her stand and I gather all the items that I brought for the picnic. We stroll hand in hand through the park. She stops suddenly and holds her palm up. “Dante, you can’t come with me.”
“What do you mean?” My heart is in my stomach as I try to understand what she is saying.
“You have to let us go, Dante.” She places her hand on my cheek as tears fall down hers.
“I can’t let you go. I love you.”
“And I love you. But she needs you more than I do, Dante.”
“Kayla, please don’t leave me. Not again.”
“She loves you and you love her. You need each other.”
“But you need me too.”
She shakes her head. “I’m fine, Dante. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. You have to live your life. We live through you.” She kisses me gently and steps away from me. “Dante Junior and I are always with you, but you have to go back to her. You need to wake up, Dante. Please wake up.”
My heart is breaking in two as I see Kayla leaving me. I want to run after her, but something behind me is pulling me back. If only I had more time with her to tell her how much I love her, to show her. I just need more time. She stops and waves a final good-bye to me before disappearing. The pull behind me is great and I turn around to see Cyma and Lelia waiting for me. In my heart, I know they need me as much as I need them.
I begin the long journey to them, to my future with them.
I awake feeling like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. Ugh. My head is throbbing and my chest feels like it’s been split open. What happened to me? I rack my brain for a few moments, and then the memories flood me. Ryan! Fuck! Did he make it? I took a bullet for that shithead; the least he could do is live.
“Dante?” Cyma’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
“Hey.” My voice comes out raspy. “Water.”
She pours me a cup of water, places a straw in it, and holds it to my lips. Damn, water has never tasted so good. “I’ll get the doctor.”
“No. Not yet. Just want some time with you first.” I wince in pain. Breathing and talking is a task.
Her breathing becomes quick before nodding and taking my hand in hers. “We almost lost you.”
“Never.” I wince again from the pain. “Promised.” I inhale and my lungs feel like they’re on fire. “Remember?” Kayla, the park, was that a dream? She told me Cyma and Lelia needed me. I close my eyes as I try to remember what she told me. She said that she and our son are okay. It’s not my fault. The guilt I had been carrying around me for so long has lifted.
“Dante? Are you all right?” Cyma’s eyebrows squeeze together as she waits for my answer.
Opening my eyes again, I see her lovely face. “Yeah. It’s just that I dreamt of Kayla.”
Her eyes widen and her hands go to her heart. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“No, it’s all good. You and Lelia were in my dream also. Kayla told me to go back to you because you needed me. She gave me her blessing.”
Shock resonates over her face. “Dante… I…”
“It’s okay. Really it’s okay. Kayla and Dante Junior are with me always. But you, Lelia, and I will begin to build a life together.”
She smiles gently and kisses my lips. Her lips taste like tears. Tears that I caused by being in here. “Kayla is right. I do need you.”
“And I need you and Lelia.” I breathe in deeply before continuing. “How is she?”
“Lelia is doing better. The operation was a success.”
“That’s great. How long have I been out?” I manage my words through gritted teeth.
“Three days.” More tears fall down her cheeks. “I thought I was going to die if you didn’t wake.”
“You can’t.” My eyes close as I try to breathe through the pain. “You have that little girl you have to live for.”
“I know. That’s what kept me going.” She glances at the door. “Everyone, including your family, is out there waiting for you. No one has left since you were admitted. I’ll get the doctor and tell them you’re awake.” Kissing me briefly again, she turns around and exits the room. My mind drifts back to Kayla. She is right. I have carried around this guilt for too long. She knows I’ll always love her and our son. No one can ever replace them. But I have a second chance to be happy with a woman who loves me and I’m not going to waste it. As I begin to think of the future, doctors and nurses enter my room, interrupting my thoughts.
Chapter 37
If You’re Ready (Come Go With Me) ~ The Staple Singers
Cyma
After informing the nurse on duty at the nurses’ station that Dante is awake, I make my way to the waiting room to tell our family and friends. Mrs. Moore is crying into her husband’s shoulder. He strokes her back and whispers something to her. I take this moment to really look at Dante’s mother and father. It hits me how much he resembles both of them. He has his father’s height and stature but his mother’s warm eyes. Mr. Moore looks up and sees me, I give him a smile as a lone tear falls down my cheek. He gently lifts his wife’s head and she turns and looks at me as well. Everyone stands up as I approach them.
“He’s awake.” I say
the words and cry. Mr. Moore releases his wife and pulls me into his arms and hugs me. I feel comforted by this, and I’m finally able to get my emotions under control. “Thanks. I don’t know what just came over me.”
His smile reminds me of Dante’s. “It’s all right. It’s been an emotional couple of days for all of us.”
His mother hugs me as well. “I’m so glad that he has found you, Cyma.”
“Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.” My heart is so full at this moment. I see where Dante gets his big heart from.
“When can we see our son?” Mr. Moore asks.
“The doctors are checking on him now. They will come out and give us an update shortly.”
He nods slightly as his muscles relax. I turn to take in the rest of Dante’s makeshift family of Anaya, Tony, Manny, and Magnum. Anaya approaches me first and hugs me before the rest of them join in. I sit down as everyone talks to each other. I take in everything that has happened over the past few days and I feel emotionally drained. My shoulders droop as I begin to cry again. His mother sits next to me and pulls me into her arms as shudders go through my body.
“It’s okay, my dear. Let it all out.” She strokes my back just as my own mother used to do when I was young.
“I’m sorry. It all just hit me.”
“I know. I can’t tell you how much it means to my husband and me that he has found you and your daughter. For years, Dante held on to the guilt of being alive.” I lift my head from her shoulder to stare into her eyes. She smiles gently at me. “He loved Kayla so much.” A pain goes through my heart at her words. Noticing my expression, she pats my knee. “He loves you too, Cyma. When you broke things off with him, he was crushed. I thought I’d lost him again. I never saw him as devastated as he was when you walked out of his life.”
“I-I had to do what was best for all of us,” I try to explain it to her without giving away too many details about Wheeler.
“I know. He explained. When he reached out to his father and me when you left, I was so happy. You see, he pushed us away when Kayla died, but he ran to us when you left. You’ve changed him in so many ways, my dear. His heart is finally healing because of you and your daughter.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes as I listen to her kind words. “You can say that we’ve both healed each other. But I also want to apologize for putting his life in danger. He was shot saving my ex-husband. He almost died because of me.”
She shakes her head and reaches up to place her fingers under my chin. “He did it because he loves you. That’s who he is. He’s the protector, always has been. When Dante loves, he loves with every fiber in his body. He doesn’t know any other way. The trick is getting into his heart, because he doesn’t always let people in. But when he does, you are there until he dies. Got that from his father, I suppose.” She laughs to herself, as if she is remembering something from the past. “I have always been the type to push people away. Thought I was showing my independence when I did that. Pushed his dad away for a long time when we were dating. His father was persistent though. And I married him and have never regretted a day. Dante is the same.”
Sitting back in the chair, I think back to how Dante pursued me and how I kept pushing him away as well. I just couldn’t see past my own pain to let him in.
The doctor comes out of Dante’s room and over to where his mother and I are sitting. Holding hands, we stand to greet him.
“Dante is on the road to recovery. He will have to remain here for a few weeks for us to monitor him, but I see no reason for him not to make a full recovery.”
I close my eyes and say a prayer of thanks. Mr. Moore comes over to the two of us and we all hug each other again.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Mr. Moore says, shaking the doctor’s hand.
“You two should go in to see him. I’ll wait out here with everyone else.” They thank me and enter his room. I have come to care about his parents, and I’m happy they have accepted Lelia and me as part of Dante’s life.
Chapter 38
I Belong To You ~ Rome
Tick
A few days later, Tony arranges to have me transferred to the same hospital as Lelia to make things easier for Cyma. Sitting with Lelia for several hours and then making the drive to Long Island to sit with me was taking a toll on her. I have another few weeks in the hospital, and I’m already getting restless.
Tony, Magnum, and Manny have stopped by the hospital to give me an update on business.
“So, Wheeler and Jay?”
Tony leans on the wall with one hand in his pocket. “Dead. When you took the bullet for asshole, El Diablo’s men opened fire on Wheeler. Jay was dead when they tossed him in the room.”
I close my eyes momentarily as I relive being shot. I feel the searing pain of the gunshot to my chest as if it just happened all over again. Instinctively, I place my hand over the injury. “I wish I was the one to put a fucking bullet in his fucking head.”
Tony exhales and pushes himself off the wall. “Same result, no matter who pulled the trigger.”
I know he’s right, but it pisses me the fuck off that I wasn’t the one to do it. “And El Diablo?”
Manny straightens in the chair. “That’s the strange part. Mag and I arrived with our boys. El Diablo’s men were already in position, taking down Wheeler’s men. They knew who we were. It was hairy at first because we didn’t know who they were.”
Magnum places his hands on the foot of my bed. “Yeah. All guns were drawn at that point. But El Diablo’s men said they were given instructions not to touch us. They were there to help only.”
I place my hand under my chin. “But why? Was El Diablo there?”
Manny shakes his head. “Nah, nowhere in sight. Anyway, we all had our guns drawn as we tried to figure out the situation. That’s when Wheeler’s men figured they had an opening and started shooting. Some of their men got the drop on me and Mag from behind. ”
“Bro, it was like a three-ring circus, with everyone fighting,” Magnum adds to the story.
Tony starts pacing the floor back and forth. “I just can’t figure out the angle. Why did El Diablo protect us?”
Manny stretches his legs, placing them on the side of my bed. “Man, let’s not even bother to question it. We got help and I’m not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth.” He scratches his head. “Did I say that correctly?”
After a soft knock on the door, my nurse enters. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware you had visitors. I need to take your vitals.”
Tony and Magnum tell me they will see me later and leave the room. Manny on the other hand, to my nurse’s annoyance, decides to stay. She takes my vitals quickly, trying not to notice how Manny is staring at her.
“What a way for you to get a vacation, asshole,” Manny says as he stares at my nurse’s ass.
“Yeah? Wanna trade places?”
“Nah. I’m good. View is so much better from where I’m sitting.” He wears a toothy grin as the nurse passes him and leaves the room. “You sure do have some hot nurses though. Might be worth getting shot.”
“No more people getting shot,” Anaya enters my private room. “How are you feeling?”
“Better actually.”
She stares at Manny. “And what is this about ‘worth getting shot’?”
“Ugh…” Manny’s ears turn red.
“Asshole here wants to put the moves on my nurse.” I blow up his spot and Anaya laughs.
“Hey, I gotta go.” Manny stands abruptly. “I’ll come back later.” He leaves quickly. He’s felt awkward around her ever since that time he got busted getting a blow job from one of the coat-check girls in the private bathroom. Dickhead forgot to lock the door.
Anaya sits in the seat Manny just vacated. “Your godson misses you.”
“I miss that kid too. Hell, I feel like I’m in prison over here.”
“Well, enjoy the pampering while you can.” She crosses her legs and sits back in the chair.
“Does Cyma seem a little off to you?”
“No.” Her eyes avoid mine. “Why?”
“She seems to be nervous around me.”
Waving her hand in the air, she dismisses my comment. “She went through a lot that day when you were shot, between waiting to hear about Lelia and you all in the same day. Give her some time.”
“I just don’t want her to worry.”
“She is stronger than you think. Cyma will be fine.”
“Yeah, I know she’s a strong woman, but something is off. I’ve felt it since the day I woke up from the coma.”
Anaya grimaces; she’s hiding something. She knows more than she’s telling. Watching her bite her bottom lip, I can tell she’s debating something.
“Sis, talk to me. What’s going on? Is there something I need to worry about?”
“No. It’s just that Tallie showed up at the hospital the day you were shot. She caused a scene, and she and Cyma had words.” Embarrassment covers her face as she speaks.
“Tallie?” I try to sit up in the bed but a stab of pain hits me. Shit, that hurts.
Standing up, Anaya holds her hands to my shoulder to stop me from trying to get up again. “What are you trying to do? You can’t move or you might break those stitches.”
“Fuck! What did Tallie say to her?”
“Listen, I think you and Cyma should talk about this. She said she didn’t want to bring it up until after you come out of the hospital.”
“Well, I want to talk about it now.”
“Talk about what?” Cyma asks as she strolls into my room.
A blush covers Anaya’s face. “I told him about Tallie.”
“Oh.” She sidles up to the side of my bed.
“I don’t want to wait until I get out of the hospital to talk about this shit.”
“I think I should leave you two alone.” Anaya bends to kiss me on the cheek and leaves quickly.
“What the fuck? What did that bitch say to you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Dante. Let it go.”
“The fuck it doesn’t matter! You’ve been on guard with me. Is that the reason why?”