“I think we should get that dessert now,” Celeste said, her breathing still coming in short gasps.
Thad wanted to tell her she had already offered him the best dessert. Instead, he said, “You might be right.” As much as he wanted to keep right on kissing her, he sensed something special growing and wanted to take his time and treat it as such.
Chapter 7
“I hope you’re calling to tell me how fantastic dinner with Thad was last night,” Deborah said when she answered the phone Monday evening.
“Goodness, sis. Where are your manners? No hello, Celeste, how are you doing? Just straight into my business.”
She let out an impatient sigh. “Celeste, don’t make me drive over to your house. You know I’ll do it.”
Celeste laughed. “Girl, you are too crazy. Yes, dinner was nice.”
“That’s all…just nice? I was waiting to hear about all the fireworks that were going on. He sure is moving slow.”
“Oh, there were a few sparks, too.” Every time Thad touched or kissed her ignited a blaze. The memories had kept her tossing and turning all night. “But I like that he’s not pushing me toward the bedroom after two dates.”
“He may not be pushing you, but your voice says you’d go if he asked. It gets all soft and dreamy,” Deborah added with a giggle.
“Shut up.” Celeste bit her lip to stifle her own laughter.
“You know I’m right. This reminds me of how you acted when you thought you were in love with Michael Douglas in tenth grade—smiling all the time, looking all starry-eyed. You were totally smitten.”
Celeste recalled her young crush and couldn’t deny her sister’s words. Michael had been the cutest boy in her class and they had dated for three months—an eternity at that time—before his family moved. She had been heartbroken. Though they tried to maintain the relationship, it faded shortly after. Thad made Celeste feel that same way. “I’ll admit to being in love with Michael.”
“And Thad?”
“It’s weird, Deb. We’ve only known each other a week or two, but it seems like much longer. He’s easy to talk to, makes me laugh, likes to dance for no reason, and—”
“Hold up. Dance? When did you guys go dancing? I thought he was only coming over for dinner.”
“We didn’t go dancing. I had mentioned during a conversation about music that I liked Brian Culbertson and he bought me a CD.” A vision of the slow slide of his body against hers flashed in her mind. “He asked me to dance while we were in the kitchen.”
Deborah squealed. “That is so romantic. The more you tell me about him, the more it sounds like Thad might be a keeper.”
“Maybe. We like so many of the same things, and he’s already asked me about going to a few summer concerts.”
“Well, the calendar just turned to June and there are plenty to choose from.”
“I’m looking forward to going.” Celeste hesitated. “Deb, when he kisses me, it’s like…I don’t know.”
“Ha, I do. It makes you want to get your freak on.”
She could always count on her blunt sister to put it all out there.
“Don’t get quiet on me. Go ahead and admit it, honey.”
“Something like that,” she finally murmured. “The only thing now is Emery dropped by and interrupted the dinner. He was not happy about seeing Thad.”
Deborah snorted. “He’ll just need to get over himself. I don’t know why these kids think we’re supposed to stop living when something happens. What did you tell him?”
“Nothing yet. He’s coming by after work for us to talk.”
“I hope you’re not feeling guilty, Celeste.”
“Emery looked so betrayed and the notion did pop up briefly, but I know there’s no reason for it.” And being with Thad made her forget all about the guilt.
“I’m really glad to hear you say that. Oh, before I forget, Trent said he’d go with me to the support group this week. We might even get TJ to go. Do you know if Thad will be there? If anyone can get TJ to open up, it might be him since he seems to know so much about the PTSD.”
“I have no idea what his schedule is at the center, but I agree he may be able to help TJ since he’s been through the same thing.” Celeste stopped short of mentioning Thad’s loss. “I have my biopsy tomorrow, so I won’t be able to go with you, but I’m glad Trent will be there.” Her mammogram had showed three calcium spots and, although the radiologist said it could be nothing, he wanted to make sure of it, instead of waiting to see for another year. The stereotactic biopsy would be done with just a local anesthetic and they would send the report to her primary care physician for follow-up.
“Are you nervous?”
“A little.”
“The radiologist didn’t think it was cancer, so we’re just going to pray that he’s right.”
Celeste was determined to hold on to that hope.
“That reminds me, I need to schedule my mammogram.”
“Get it done, sis.” They’d lost two aunts to breast cancer and their mother was a seven-year survivor. With that family history, both she and Deborah never missed an exam. The doorbell rang. “Deb, Emery’s here. I’ll call you tomorrow to see how the session went.”
“Okay. Night.”
“Good night.” Celeste disconnected and went to open the door. Though her son had a key, he knew not to use it unless he had permission or in case of an emergency. She chuckled inwardly. Emery wore the same expression he had yesterday. “Hey, son.”
“Hi, Mom.” Emery bent to kiss her cheek and entered.
“I’m having a grilled chicken salad and you’re welcome to have some, if you like.” She headed toward the kitchen.
“No. Thanks.” He opened the refrigerator, took out the pitcher of iced tea and poured himself a glass. After returning the container, he slid into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.
Celeste sat next to him. “You wanted to talk?”
For a moment, he sipped his tea and said nothing. “I don’t like the fact that another man was in Dad’s house.”
“My house,” she corrected. “Your father has been gone for four years.”
Emery placed the glass on the table with a thud. “But you’re bringing all these strange men in the house now.”
She shook her head and sighed. “How many men have you seen here? None. Because there haven’t been any. Thad is the first man I’ve invited to dinner, and whomever I ask is my business. In case you don’t remember, I’m your mother and a grown woman. I don’t need your permission.”
He released a deep sigh. “It’s like you’ve forgotten all about Dad. I mean, look at you. You cut your hair and you’ve been traveling everywhere. You’re changing, Mom.”
Celeste stared at him incredulously. “Changing? This isn’t the first time I’ve cut my hair, but now you have a problem with it? Let me ask you something, Emery. Do you ever go to the grocery store and pick up a quart of double fudge brownie ice cream because you know it’s his favorite, then get all the way to the checkout before you remember he’s not here to eat it? Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning, gone into the kitchen thinking you’d surprise him with a special breakfast, only to realize your footsteps are the only ones in the house?” Her voice rose with each question.
“Mom—” Emery stood.
“No! Sit down and listen. I have not forgotten your father. I remember him more often than you’ll ever know, and those are the times that are hardest.” She took a deep breath. “Emery, I loved your father more than life, but he is gone. Am I supposed to lock myself in this house and wither away until it’s my time to die? Is that what you’re doing…sitting in your condo night after night waiting for your time to come?”
His jaw tightened but he remained silent.
“The night before your father died, he me made promise to keep living. I didn’t think I would ever be able to, and for a long time, I didn’t want to.” Celeste had lain in bed night after night, sobs racking her body, wondering
if the pain would ever subside enough for her to make it through one more day. At one point it had become so unbearable that she had wanted to die, too.
Emery lowered his head. “I never knew that. Why didn’t you tell me, Mom?” he asked quietly.
“You never asked how I felt. You were wrapped up in your own grief and I did what women and mothers always do—buried my own pain to stay strong for you.” She could see his pain and ran a loving hand over his head. “I’m finally able to live again and I have to keep doing it.”
Emery buried his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. And you’re right.” He leaned back in the chair. “I guess I was just shocked to see another man sitting where Dad always sat.” He dragged a hand down his face. “Where did you meet him?”
“At a mental health center for veterans. I went with your aunt.”
“Did TJ go?”
“No. She’s hoping he will soon.”
He nodded. “I should call him and see if he wants to hang out. I tried when he first came home, but he sort of blew me off.”
Celeste stood and went to assemble her salad. “He’s having a hard time.” The two cousins, though five years apart, grew up as close as brothers.
“I’ll try again. Do you like him?”
It took Celeste a second to realize he’d meant Thad. “Yes. He’s very nice.”
“Well, if he hurts you, he’ll have to answer to me.”
She glanced over her shoulder and laughed. “It may not come to anything, so hold off.” She added salad dressing and came back to the table. “And you weren’t very respectful yesterday.”
Emery groaned. “I know. I’m sorry for that, too. I should probably apologize the next time I see him.”
“Yes, you probably should.”
He shook his head and smiled. “How is it that you always get me to do something and make it seem like it was my idea?”
She patted his hand and winked. “Because I’m the mama.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He picked up his glass and finished the tea. “I need to go home and get some work done. We’re developing some new software and there are a couple of things I’d like to add tonight.” He worked as a software developer.
“Okay. Don’t stay up too late. You tend to lose track of time when you’re on that computer.”
He grinned and stood. “I have to be at work at seven tomorrow and you know my brain doesn’t function well without sleep.” Growing up, if Emery didn’t get at least seven hours of sleep each night, he was grouchy and irritable for the entire day.
“I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with your moods anymore.”
“That’s cold, Mom.”
Celeste smiled. “Maybe so, but it’s the truth.”
“Don’t get up,” Emery said when she made a move to stand. “I’ll lock the door. Please pass along my apologies to Mr. Whitcomb and let him know I’ll be doing it in person the next time we meet.” He bent and placed a kiss on her temple.
“I will.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too. Be safe.”
“Always.”
She watched him walk out of the kitchen, her smile still in place. She was glad they’d been able to clear the air because she didn’t plan to stop dating Thad. As soon as she finished eating, her phone rang. Seeing Thad’s name on the display had her heart beating a little faster.
“Hi, Thad.”
“Hey, Celeste. I’m calling to see how things went with Emery.”
“They went fine. He asked me to pass on his apology and said he’d do it in person next time.”
“I’ll look forward to it. I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?”
“Not at all.”
“Good. I was hoping we could talk for a while.”
“Is there something specific you’d like to talk about?”
“Everything and nothing. I do want to ask if you’d like to go see Damien Escobar this Thursday evening.”
“The violinist? He is such a talented young man. I’d love to go.”
“Would you be okay with Nolan and DeAnna joining us? They’re anxious to meet you.”
While they ate the peach cobbler and ice cream last night, she remembered him mentioning them as the friends that had been there for him during his dark days. What had he told them about her? “I don’t mind. I haven’t double-dated in ages.”
“That makes two of us. The concert is in San Diego, so we’re hoping to leave midday to avoid some traffic and be able to have dinner beforehand.”
The concert would most likely end late and she speculated on what plans he had made. “Are we spending the night?”
“No. We’ll drive back afterward. But I would like to take you back for the San Diego Jazz Festival at the end of the month, the last weekend in June to be exact. For that one, it’ll be just you and me, and I’d like to stay for all three days.”
Celeste didn’t know what to say. The parts of her that enjoyed concerts were ready to throw caution to the wind and say, “Let’s do it.” The smaller parts that hadn’t spent more than a few hours with a man over the past few years were decidedly anxious. A weekend meant more than a passing fling. She couldn’t imagine a man spending that kind of money on someone they only planned to date a few times. Would he book separate rooms, or did he expect them to share a room? And would she say no to staying in the same room?
“Celeste?”
Thad’s voice brought her back to the conversation. “I’m here.” She decided to take a page out of Deborah’s book and go for it. “I’d love to go.” She thought back on her sister’s response when Celeste told her how Thad’s kisses affected her. It makes you want to get your freak on. Something told Celeste, no matter the sleeping arrangements, they would end up exactly as Deb said.
Tuesday, Thad hid his disappointment when Celeste didn’t show up for the support group meeting. However, he was glad to see her sister enter with two men who he assumed to be her husband and son. He studied the younger man’s slouched posture and tight features. Thad knew the look well. As Deborah took her seat, she smiled Thad’s way. He nodded in acknowledgement. He checked his watch, then stood in the front of the room. “If you all would take your seats, we can get started.” He waited until everyone had settled down and quieted before speaking. “You’re all here because you or someone you love is suffering from PTSD. It can be overwhelming and the changes, frightening. We want you to know that you aren’t helpless and you aren’t alone. With assistance, you and your loved ones can work toward a more productive life.” Thad shared the various programs and groups the center offered and stepped aside for Phillip to discuss how treatment options could minimize problems in relationships, careers and in school. Afterwards, he invited those in attendance to share what they hoped to learn.
Thad waited to see if someone from Deborah’s family would say something, but they didn’t. When the session ended, he spent a few minutes congratulating a young woman who had been attending the center for four months after her discharge from the Army. She had learned to manage her triggers and had recently opened up to her fiancé about them. Once she left, Thad made his way over to where Deborah and her family stood waiting.
Deborah greeted Thad with a smile. “Hi, Thad. I was hoping you’d be here today.”
“I’m glad you came back.”
“This is my husband, Trent, and our son, TJ,” she said, gesturing to each man.
Thad extended his hand. “It’s good to meet you, Trent.”
“Same here. It seems like you all are doing good work here. I like what I heard so far.”
“If you have any questions, be sure to let me know.” He focused on the younger man. “It’s good to meet you, too, TJ. I hope you’ll consider joining one of the other groups.”
TJ snorted. “For what? This isn’t going to be any different than those other places. They start off all nice and the next thing you know, the only thing they’re doing is handing you a prescription.” He looked Thad up and down wi
th disdain. “And why do you care? You don’t know anything about what I’m going through.”
“Son, watch your mouth,” Trent warned.
Thad smiled inwardly. TJ reminded him so much of himself right after his discharge. “TJ, I know more about it than I ever wanted. How about you and I go talk while your parents finish up here, and I’ll share with you what I know?”
TJ studied Thad for a long moment, a mixture of defiance and curiosity in his expression. Finally, he nodded.
“TJ and I will be in the dining hall right down the way,” Thad said to Trent and Deborah. Seeing their concern, he added, “We’ll be fine.” He waited until they joined the group of parents heading over to the refreshment table and then led the young man out. Once in the dining room, he pointed out the variety of available snacks and drinks. “Would you like anything?”
“No, thanks.” TJ dropped down into a chair at the nearest table.
He pulled out the chair opposite him, sat and waited.
“You said you know what I’m going through. Are you some shrink they hired to get me to talk about my feelings?” That last word held a note of sarcasm.
“I’m not a psychologist. My degree is actually in business. I know what you’re going through because I’ve been where you are and worse.” He shifted in his seat and slid up his pant leg. “Desert Storm.”
TJ straightened in his seat.
“I was one of the lucky ones that day.”
“You do know.” He paused. “Do they ever go away?”
“You mean the nightmares?”
He nodded.
“With time. The memories will stay with you and you learn to manage them, but you can’t do it alone. Believe me, I tried.”
Sweet Summer Days Page 6