by Cajio, Linda
People had regretted those two particular words all their lives, she thought. She wasn’t sure what she regretted—making love with Jed … or making love with her heart as well as her body.
Rae closed her eyes tightly against the thought.
Nine
“She’s still sleepin’.”
Michael’s voice pulled Rae from a deep slumber. Not bothering to open her eyes, she mumbled, “Go watch cartoons.”
She felt the edge of the mattress sink as the little boy climbed onto the bed. He crawled under the covers and snuggled against her back. She smiled to herself at the feel of his small pajamaclad body next to hers. Oh well, she thought, the cartoons were always worth a mention. Mark would probably be next. She hoped he wouldn’t bounce on the bed as usual, but she knew the wish was in vain. She braced herself for the expected jolt.
“Here, you can get in on this side, Jed.”
Her eyes flew open, and she sat bolt upright. Jed was standing at the foot of the bed with a huge grin on his face. Dressed in jeans and a blue sweater, he’d obviously been awake for quite some time. Momentarily speechless, she watched as his gaze drifted lower to the flimsy bodice of her satin nightgown. The amusement in his hazel eyes was instantly replaced by a hot glow. Memories of their lovemaking came back to her in a rush, and a heavy warmth flooded her body. She yanked the coverlet nearly to her chin, then turned to her nephew.
“Ah, Michael,” she began, forcing herself to calm down and smile naturally. “I don’t think Jed would like … I mean, Jed isn’t interested … it’s not a good idea, Michael.”
“Why?” Michael asked.
The child’s inevitable question, Rae thought. Now if only she could answer it without making an ass of herself.
“Because I was about to get up, anyway.” She congratulated herself on her fast thinking. She usually functioned by rote before coffee.
“Oh.”
Michael’s disappointment was obvious. She sighed inwardly at the unhappy expression on his face. He had always liked to wake her up to snuggle and talk, and he evidently wanted to share that with Jed. Under the circumstances, though, it wasn’t hard to be firm.
Reaching down, she brushed a stray lock of hair from Michael’s forehead and said, “We could take a nap together this afternoon, okay?”
“Okay,” Michael said, sitting up. “Just you, me, and Jed, though.”
She suppressed a groan of frustration. Michael’s friendship certainly knew no bounds. She glared at Jed, who hadn’t spoken a word yet.
“I don’t think Jed will be tired then,” she said sweetly. “Will you, Jed?”
He stroked his mustache before answering. “It’s hard to say—”
“Will you, Jed,” she repeated forcefully.
“Well, the truth is—”
“Will you, Jed!”
“Maybe I’ll—”
“Aaaaggh!”
Having vented her feelings, she flopped back on the pillow and pulled the covers over her head. It would be nice if lightning suddenly struck him, she thought. Or a bomb. She wasn’t picky.
“Aunt Rae?”
She assumed it was Michael who was now rapping on her forehead through the quilt. “What?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, Michael.”
“Are you mad at Jed?”
“No, Michael.”
“I think we should give your aunt a little privacy,” Jed said.
“Truer words were never spoken,” Rae muttered into the bedclothes. As her nephew scrambled over her and off the bed, she poked her head out from under the covers.
“Michael,” she whispered loudly. He turned around. “I need a good morning kiss.”
Smiling, Michael scooted over to her and bussed her on the cheek. She snaked an arm out and yanked him on top of her, tickling him through the covers. Shrill giggles filled the room, as he squirmed and twisted away. Finally she stopped. Panting for breath, he settled down on her chest and leaned his forehead on hers. They stared at each other until she crossed her eyes. He giggled again.
Chuckling, she said, “Good morning, sweetie. Now beat it, so I can get up.”
“Okay.”
He shoved himself off her and ran over to Jed, who was staring at her with an odd expression on his face. For a wild second, she thought he was going to ask for a good morning kiss, too, but he just ushered her nephew out the door.
After they shut her bedroom door behind them, Rae groaned loudly and pulled the blanket back over her head. She wished she could stay there forever … or until Jed finally disappeared. Last night she hadn’t considered how awkward it would be to see him again, but she’d never conceived of her own nephew inviting the man into her bed to snuggle and talk! She covered her face with her hands and shuddered. What a way to wake up. Jed’s teasing hadn’t helped any … or had it?
She lowered her hands. Any way would have been awkward—for her, at least. Jed handled embarrassing situations with aplomb. Luckily, Michael’s innocent puzzlement and Jed’s teasing had distracted her just enough to keep the awkwardness on a superficial level.
But what, she wondered frantically, would she say to him now? What did he think? More importantly, what was he feeling?
Shaking her head at the unanswerable questions, she acknowledged that matters were even more complicated between them now. They couldn’t make love again. Jed was the wrong man at the wrong time and definitely in the wrong place. She’d have to make that very clear to him. What happened was just a result of physical attraction combined with close quarters. If and when …
No, she told herself. If and when meant she was looking ahead.
She had to deal with the present.
After lunch, Jed stood on the terrace in the shadows of the house and watched as Rae adroitly managed to avoid him for the third time in as many hours.
She was good, he thought, damn good at changing directions without actually seeming to. She had come through the French doors, spotted him at one end of the terrace, and waved before lightly running down the steps toward the maze. He doubted if anyone would have realized she hadn’t been headed there in the first place, even though she’d had the straw basket on her arm. There was nothing in the maze to fill the basket with except hedge clippings.
Gazing down at the blooming chrysanthemums lining the terrace, he remembered how he’d decided to take a chance and talk to her that morning. He had actually had his hand on her bedroom doorknob when Michael came skipping down the hallway and proceeded to drag him into the room. Lord, she looked vulnerable—and sexy. The satin nightgown barely covered her coral-tipped breasts, and her eyes were wide with shock and surprise. He would have given anything to join her in her bed. Instead it was Michael who did. Little Michael! He still couldn’t believe the hard shot of jealousy he felt watching her with her nephew. It was silly, of course, to be envious of a child. Michael was her nephew. But seeing her act so warm and affectionate with someone other than him had almost driven him to distraction. He was the one who should have been in that bed, dammit! They could have talked, sorted everything out.
He knew he had handled the rest of the morning all wrong. He shouldn’t have waited, hoping she’d come to him, but he wanted to give her time to adjust to the fact that they’d made love. She turned it into a game of avoidance. At the moment, though, there was really nothing he could do. Not with the nephews around. Any discussion was bound to be interrupted. The French doors opened again, and he looked up to see Burrows coming through them.
“Good afternoon, sir.”
Jed muttered a greeting before turning his head to stare at the maze. He knew it was better to wait until nothing could interrupt them. Tonight, he promised himself. They’d straighten quite a few things out then. Tonight, when the boys were gone.
“Have you found an alternate site yet for your construction project, sir?”
Jed turned back. Burrows was adjusting a white wrought-iron chair under the table.
“
What?”
“I said, have you—”
“I got the question,” Jed said, interrupting the butler. “How do you know what I’ve been doing?”
Burrows straightened, and fixed a stern glare on him. “I am not a dunce, sir.”
“No, you’re not,” Jed agreed, realizing that the butler probably knew enough to guess the rest. “Burrows, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, sir.”
“Did you ever find yourself trying to climb a wall while someone was kicking the blocks out from under you?”
“Once, sir.” Burrows gave him a ghost of a smile. “It was in Greece during the war. Mr. Merriman and I were trapped on a cave ledge for twenty-two hours while a platoon of German soldiers took shelter inside the cave to avoid a snowstorm. We could hardly kill fifty men before they killed us. If I may use your analogy, sir, we didn’t even have the slight advantage of a wall. You see, I had a bad cold at the time. One cough and we were dead men.”
In amazement, Jed asked, “What the hell were you two doing in Greece during the war?”
“Spying, sir,” the small man replied matter-of-factly. “Mr. Merriman and I were on a joint mission for the American and British governments. We were ever so grateful to see those soldiers finally pack up and leave.” Burrows smiled another tiny smile. “They left us quite a nice path through the snow. We barely got our feet wet.”
Jed almost laughed at the idea of Merriman and Burrows as James Bond-like spies. It was outrageous. Still, Burrows had never struck him as a man to tell tales.
“I take it, sir, that you are having difficulties with Miss Rachel.”
Jed shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “I wish it was just difficulties, Burrows. Patience is getting me nowhere fast.”
Burrows shook his head. “You’re overlooking the obvious, sir.”
“There is no obvious,” Jed snapped in frustration, as he leaned back against the wall of the house.
“Miss Rachel’s behavior has been quite obvious, and so has yours. Consider that, sir.”
Now what, Jed wondered, did Burrows mean by “obvious” behavior? What had they done?…
He realized exactly what they had done, and he glanced up sharply only to find Burrows had gone. Jed swore. Somehow, the butler had discovered that he and Rae had made special use of the drawing room last night. He doubted there was very much that Burrows didn’t know—about anything. As the man said: he wasn’t a dunce. Even the boys probably sensed there was something more going on between him and Rae than a simple kidnapping. Although Michael didn’t understand the nuances of their relationship, the five-year-old was so attuned to them that he was acting almost like a matchmaker, and doing a damn good job of it. Face it, Jed told himself, he and Rae hadn’t done much to hide their strong attraction to each other. That was obvious. The conflict between them over the estate had also produced some rather bizarre behavior too. That Rae had kidnapped him was bizarre enough, but he’d taken it a giant step further by insisting on remaining kidnapped. Setting foot on this property was like stepping into a loony bin. Both of them were certainly giving Merriman a run for his money in the eccentricity department.
Setting foot on the property …
Stepping into a loony bin …
It was the house! The house made people do crazy things. He had heard of houses being possessed by poltergeists, but this one must be possessed by an eccentricity bug that made people behave like loonies. Merriman had bought the house as a young man, and he probably hadn’t been eccentric then, but now the man was noted for it. Rae hadn’t even been in the house a month before she was kidnapping people. Of course, she had had years of exposure to the place. He was working against his own company for her, and Burrows, who should be on her side, seemed to be on his. Impossible and insane. It was definitely the house. That was the only explanation. Nothing else made sense.
He heard light footsteps coming up the steps of the terrace, and knowing it must be Rae, he decided one piece of insanity had gone on long enough. As she reached the top step, she nodded to him and headed for the French doors.
“Rae.”
She stopped for an instant at his call, then continued on her way, saying, “I’m sorry, Jed, but I have to make an important phone call.”
Jed strode over and took her arm before she could disappear inside. “Wait. This is more important than a phone call. You have to listen to me—”
“There’s nothing to discuss—”
“I think Burrows knows we made love last night.”
Her eyes widened in shock, and she sputtered, “But that’s impossible! Everyone was asleep.” She gripped his arm. “Do you think he saw …?”
He curved his arm around her shoulders in comfort. “No. He just said our behavior was obvious. We haven’t exactly been hiding our attraction to each other. Face it, Rae, anyone could have figured it out. But his saying that made me think about the way we’ve been behaving over the estate too. Have you ever kidnapped anyone before? Even thought of it? Or done anything even remotely as crazy? Not something a little wild or silly, but something really off the wall.”
She shook her head.
“See. Your behavior is obvious. I’ve never done anything off the wall, either, but now I’m risking my job to find another site and insisting on staying kidnapped. Then there’s your uncle. Merriman’s been mad as a hatter for a long time. What about when he was younger, before he bought this place?”
“I don’t know. He used to say he never had any fun.” She frowned at him. “Why?”
“I think it’s the house, Rae. It makes people do crazy things. There’s something wrong with—”
The look on her face stopped his words. Her beautiful features were set with a blank expression. The only giveaway was her chin. It quivered as she tried to suppress her amusement. Suddenly she burst into hysterical laughter. She buried her face in his shoulder, her body shaking with mirth. He glared down at the top of her head.
“Dammit, Rae! Will you get serious?”
“I … can’t!” she gasped in between fits of laughter.
He turned her to face him, and grasping both shoulders, gently shook her. “I know it sounds crazy, but think about it. Think about what Burrows said. And Michael … even he—”
Her amusement immediately stopped, and with a horrified moan, she pushed out of his arms. “Oh, no! Michael saw us too?”
“No, of course not! I just meant that even he’s aware of something strange going on, and he responds to it.”
She slumped in relief. “Thank goodness! Michael is too young to understand the birds and the bees, let alone visual aids. I have been meaning to talk to you, though, about … about what happened.”
“Then why have you been avoiding me?” he asked in disbelief, forgetting all thoughts about the house being possessed.
“I haven’t.”
“Sure, you haven’t.”
She waved a hand in dismissal. “I admit I’m attracted to you, Jed. That fact surprised me, and I guess I was …” She made a face. “Let’s just say, it was a combination of things. The point is, we’re not going to make love again.”
Jed stared at her. “We’re not?”
“No,” she said flatly. “We’re not.”
There was a long silence. Finally, he said, “That’s it? Just we’re not?”
“That’s right. Just we’re not.”
Jed said nothing, because he was afraid of what he would say. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised by her reaction. As Burrows would say: her behavior had been obvious. She was still being obvious. Even after last night, she was still refusing to acknowledge there was something special between them. From her tense stance, he realized she was more than ready to fight him on the subject. He considered all his options and the risks involved with each, then decided on the one she’d least expect.
“Okay.”
Her jaw dropped open in clear astonishment. “You … you agree?”
“Absolutely. You d
on’t have to explain anything, Rae. Not a thing. I understand completely, and I just want to say thank you for being mature and sensible.” He patted her shoulder, then opened the French doors. “You’d better go make that phone call now.”
“What phone … oh, yes, the phone call.” She turned toward the open doors. She turned back and gazed at him in bewilderment. Jed kept his smile friendly. She turned around and walked into the house, while muttering something incomprehensible under her breath.
Jed shut the doors after her. He grinned. It wouldn’t be long before she’d be furious with him for not fighting her on the subject. If she reacted the way he hoped, they’d be doing more than talking tonight.
• • •
Hours later, Jed paced the darkness of the trophy room. So much for reverse psychology, he thought in disgust as he brushed against a stuffed moosehead.
Rae hadn’t reacted the way he’d expected. She hadn’t reacted at all. At first, he’d been pleased at the way she shot him dirty looks all afternoon. He knew she was building to a confrontation, and he knew she was only waiting for the opportunity to let loose. But when the boys left for home shortly after dinner, she immediately excused herself, claiming a sick headache. Something had gone wrong, and he had no idea what. He’d be damned, though, before they went back to the beginning. He wanted her. He needed her. And the more he wanted her, the more he needed her. Her excusing herself was a clear rejection, just as her attitude had been all day. Either that, or she thought he was crazy for telling her the house was possessed.
Hell, he thought, this had nothing to do with the house. Stick to the obvious. They had something unique together. It transcended their differences over the estate. It was something that couldn’t be denied. Yet, she was denying them both. She had no right to do that, and it was about damn time she learned it.
He strode over to the trophy room door.