And they always left. Her father’s abandonment had been out of her control—out of her sister’s and her mother’s, too. But she’d driven Kristen away. With her need to be right. Sure, her intentions had been good, but what good did that do her now? Not one whit. And after seeing the raw pain and anger in her sister’s eyes tonight—the betrayal— she realized that good intentions or no, she might have gone too far. Further than she’d had a right to.
Losing her sister’s trust was her fault. There was no one to blame except herself for the pain she carried, and she couldn’t open herself up to the possibility—probability—of being hurt badly again.
She turned away from the door and headed back into the room.
“Did Kristen come by? How is she?” Charles asked.
She had to get this back in check. Flirting with him, laughing with him, it would just make the conversation more difficult. “I’m sorry, but that’s not really any of your business.”
A short laugh escaped him, but it lacked any humor. “I’m the one who helped you break them up. How is it not my business all of a sudden?”
“Look, Charles, this was a fun week. And we had a mutually beneficial arrangement. But it’s over now, so let’s not…delve into each other’s lives any further, okay? It would be pointless. And maybe if we can move past everything that happened, we can be friends someday.” She couldn’t meet his eyes when she said it, but at least she’d gotten it out. Sure, Charles was a good guy, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t leave eventually. Or that he wouldn’t give her reason to leave him. And after everything with her sister, she didn’t have it in her to allow herself to fall for the vampire. But she did care about him. “I’d like to be your friend.”
“My friend?” His fists clenched at his sides. “I thought we were friends. But a friend wouldn’t be this disingenuous.”
“What?” She started. “Did you just call me a liar?”
“Damn right I did. You don’t want to pursue this because you’re scared of anything that might require the slightest risk to your heart.” He took a step toward her, crowding her with his body and with his words.
She stood her ground, finally meeting his gaze. “I said all I’m going to say about this, Charles. Be my friend or don’t. But friendship is all I’m offering.”
“You’re seriously going to walk away from this? I think I’m in falling in love with you, Rachel.”
She flinched. “No. You’re not. We haven’t known each other long enough to be in love.” She certainly hadn’t known him long enough, and the voice in her head that said she had could kindly shut up. “It’s just good, old-fashioned lust.”
He passed her, brushing up against her slightly as he paced across her room. “Is it? Do you really believe that this thing between us isn’t real? I don’t think so. I think you’re just afraid that I’ll break your heart.”
Maybe. But she’d be damned if she’d admit it. “Just go, Charles. Go back to California. Go back to your vampire life. This was fun. But it’s over.”
“You’re scared because you know what we have here is real. You’re scared that you’ll make a mistake. Afraid that you’ll end up like—” He cut off before he could finish the sentence, but she heard the missing words anyway.
“Like my sister? Like my mother? Damn right I’m afraid of that. Rightly so.” She stepped back and looked away, leaving the path to the door clear. “But you’re imagining the rest of it. You need to go.”
Before her brain had even processed that he’d moved, he was only inches from her. He slipped a fingertip under her chin and nudged her face up, so she would have to meet his gaze.
His expression was hard, and she did her best to keep hers harder.
“I think you’re a liar,” he murmured, gaze moving to her lips. “Your heart is safe with me, Rachel.”
Her breath caught, and then he was kissing her. His lips punished her, hard and hot and uncompromising. Despite her mind screaming in alarm, her body could only cling to his. Then she found herself doing more than clinging.
The scent of him surrounded her, subtle and masculine—shaving cream and something earthy and natural. His tongue slipped into her mouth and sparred with hers. She couldn’t seem to get close enough. Her arms found their way around his neck, and she pressed her body against his. Need coiled within her, and all of her reservations faded away, unimportant.
With the suddenness that only a vampire could get away with, her camisole and bra were pushed down, beneath one breast, and his mouth moved down to kiss and lick and nibble her nipple. Leading her toward oblivion.
Hands clinging to his hair, she tugged. He growled and then stood her up, just long enough to get rid of her pants and underwear. His hand moved between them to cup her sex as his mouth took hers again.
It was reckless and probably cruel to them both, but she couldn’t fight the desire. And when he slipped a finger inside her, she gave up even the mental battle.
“So fucking wet,” he murmured in her ear. Then he lifted her onto the table behind her. “Are you sure you just want to be friends?”
Hell, no. She tugged at his belt, and any response she might reach for was lost when he stepped back just long enough to undo his pants and pull himself free. He pressed his hardness against her heat, teasing her, and she moaned. Again his hand came between them to touch the part of her aching for him, to bring her to the brink.
Needing to even the playing field, she reached between them, moved the bottom of his shirt out of the way, and fisted his erection. Without hesitation, she pumped him, hard. He gasped, and his teeth flashed, canines fully extended.
It shouldn’t have turned her on, but it did. Something about knowing she’d made every part of him respond to her pushed her closer to the edge.
Not to mention the danger.
And she wanted more of that danger. Suddenly, her safe approach to life felt far too restrictive. She needed to break out. If only for one brief, insane moment.
“You can bite me if you want to,” she said, closing her eyes to concentrate on the sensation his skilled hands gave her.
“What?”
Forcing her eyes open, she met his shocked stare. There was a grave seriousness in his light-blue eyes, but a hunger beneath it that made her sex ache.
“What did you say?” he demanded.
“Bite me.”
…
The second the words struck the air between them, his control cracked. It was a terrible idea, with things still so undecided between them. It would only make everything all the more painful if this was their last moment together.
But Charles couldn’t stop himself.
Gently, he caressed her skin with his tongue, sliding down her neck, over the spot he’d dreamed of sinking his teeth into. He nipped her tender skin softly, and she jerked. A small moan escaped her swollen lips.
Whole mind focused on her scent and the steady beat of her pulse beneath his lips, he slid a hand between them and touched her again.
Hell. She was so ready. Always ready. Hot and wet and just as needy for him as he was for her.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, hard, but he barely noticed. He gripped her hips and pulled her closer to him, dragging her a couple of inches to the edge of the table.
“Are you sure?” he said against her throat, needing to give her—him—one last out. He grasped himself, and positioned his cock at her entrance, testing.
“Yes,” she said, desperation coating the word.
Hesitation gone, he slid into her, easing himself all the way to the hilt. The welcoming heat and tightness of her body dragged a growl from him. Canines fully extended, he pulled back for a moment, nearly out of her body, so she could see him. See clearly what she’d just signed on for. So she could see his fangs.
“Open your eyes,” he said.
Her eyes flickered open, and they widened at the sight of his slightly open mouth. She’d seen his teeth before, but never with his lips drawn back to display them
, he’d made sure of that. He hadn’t wanted to scare her.
“Oh,” she managed. But there was no rejection in her voice, and her wide eyes held only curiosity, and lust. Her hand came up to touch his fang. Even the soft slide of her tender skin drove the ache to an almost uncontrollable level. His breaths came hard and fast, and it took everything he had not to strike out, like a snake, and take her hard.
Observing his expression, whatever she saw there, her hand dropped back to his shoulder. Then achingly slowly, she turned her head, revealing her neck to him.
He struck, plunging his cock back into her heat. At the same time, his teeth penetrated the tender skin of her neck. The taste of her blood filling his mouth was heaven. And her wet tightness seemed to pull at him as he started to pull from her, too.
A long sigh escaped her, and when he started rocking in and out of her body in shallow strokes, she started to pant. She wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him to push deeper. He touched her breast softly, and waited for her to relax just a hair before pinching her nipple, hard.
“Charles!” She gasped, her body shuddering hard with release. Tightness gripped him and he could feel his own body’s need building to a pinnacle. He yanked his head away from her neck and then kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth even as he thrust hard into her body.
The orgasm hit him hard, and he had to move his grip to her table, so he didn’t risk hurting her. Thrusting his tongue into her mouth even as he shattered inside her body, he let her taste her blood on his lips.
It was heaven. Bliss. His whole body filled with her taste and her scent and the feel of her surrounding him. He’d never felt such a closeness with anyone.
Arms around his neck, and legs still tight around his waist, she never let him go.
Years could have passed while he stood in her arms, and he wasn’t sure he would have noticed. But eventually, she began to move, pulling him out of his reverie. “Charles,” she said tenderly. Then he leaned in, and she added in the same tone, “My butt’s going numb.”
He laughed and stepped back, helping her hop off the table. But his amusement faded when her gaze danced away from his. She dressed quickly, hurriedly.
“That didn’t change anything, did it?” he asked when the silence grew too oppressive.
“No.”
He slammed his fist on the table, and she flinched. He couldn’t find it in himself to apologize. Everything he’d offered her—his trust, his history, his heart—wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t enough for her to risk the same with him. And the haunting voice in the back of his mind made it worse. What if he’d never used his powers to lessen her fear? What if he’d never lied to her? Maybe she would have trusted him enough to take this leap with him.
The nagging voice whispered that this was his fault. That he wasn’t worthy of her—or anyone’s—trust.
Fresh pain shot through his chest. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Why not?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s like I said before. I’m not looking for anything serious. And let’s be honest, I don’t think you are either.”
“Sometimes the things we need most—they aren’t what we’re looking for. They’re the things we happen to run into.”
She turned to face him, but she stared squarely at his chest. “You deserve someone awesome, Charles, but that someone isn’t me.”
“Bullshit. I love you, Rachel.”
A gasp escaped her and she rocked on her feet, as if she might fall. He tensed, ready to catch her.
Finally, her gaze rose to meet his, and the pain there made him struggle not to go to her. To offer her comfort. Even as she ripped out his heart. She continued as if he hadn’t just given her his soul. “I’m never going to be able to trust someone the way you deserve to be trusted. Giving enough of myself to commit to someone who could just walk out the door…I had that ability quashed before I even met you. When my dad walked out on us, it changed Kristen and me both. I’m sorry to say, for the worse. We weren’t little kids, we were almost teenagers. And suddenly the parent we’d counted on for all those years was gone. Just gone.” She swallowed hard. “I know it’s no excuse, but I can’t change how it makes me feel.”
“Bullshit,” he said again. “Plenty of people lose parents like that. Hell, my vampire father didn’t exactly stick around after making me. Living life means that you have to get past your fears. Your sister doesn’t live her life in a bubble, afraid of ever letting anyone in.”
Her eyes darted back to his, and if anything, her expression hardened further. “Right. And that has turned out so well for her. So well for both of us.”
Steeling his spine, he walked past her, arm barely brushing hers as he headed for her door. He paused in the hallway, but he didn’t turn. Couldn’t turn. If he saw the slightest bit of regret in her eyes, he’d never be able to stop trying to get her to see reason. And he’d be damned if he would beg, no matter how much he wanted her. “At least she was brave enough to try,” he said.
Without glancing back, he left.
…
Charles didn’t even have a chance to ring the doorbell.
The door opened and Noah motioned for his silence. The tall, dark-haired vampire Charles viewed as a brother despite their lack of a real genetic connection waved him inside. Charles followed him back to his office, careful to keep his movements quiet.
It was only six o’clock in the morning. Alice must be sleeping, and likely Noah wanted to keep it that way. It was in his nature to protect—nearly as much as it was in the nature of their oldest brother, Alex. Noah was probably trying to keep Alice out of the investigation as much as he could. Charles wondered how Alice felt about that. Knowing her, she probably wasn’t happy about it.
Rachel would feel the same way.
His chest tightened painfully at the thought. Fuck. He could barely breathe around the pain of her rejection. But he’d be damned if he didn’t get through this with Noah. At least after this, his brother might be more inclined to trust him, to have faith in his judgment. It felt like a pointless consolation prize after losing Rachel, but he’d feel differently in a few days. A few weeks. Maybe.
The change in weather was startling, but since he’d come straight from the airport to Noah’s house, it had barely registered that he was still wearing his coat in the warm California air. Vampires weren’t, in general, as affected by temperature as humans, but it suddenly hit him that he was too warm. The second Noah closed the office door behind them, he took off his jacket and tossed it on one of the armchairs recently added to the room. Noah wasn’t one for decorating much beyond the basics, so they were no doubt Alice’s doing.
“Did you reread the threats?” Charles asked.
“Of course I did.” Noah restacked a pile of papers that had already been stacked just fine to Charles’s eye.
“And?”
Noah sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “You’re right. Looking at them as warnings…it fits.”
“It’s no wonder we’ve been chasing ghosts.” Not that he minded. Sure, he would have loved to help Noah take down some asshole, but it was better that there wasn’t someone out there intent on hurting Alice.
“Nice job figuring that out. I owe you one.”
Charles shrugged, nonchalant even though he knew he was about to light a match over a ready-to-explode vampire. “I didn’t figure it out. Rachel did.”
Noah didn’t explode loudly—probably still worried about waking Alice—but his expression shifted to something dangerous. “You showed that email to someone?” His words were carefully measured, low and slow. But Charles didn’t miss the anger.
“Yes. But we can trust her.” He still believed that was true—at least with their secrets. His heart was another story. “And you’re ignoring the part where she solved this for you.”
“How long have you known this…Rachel?”
Charles grimaced. “A few days.”
Noah’s hands fisted and un-fisted, over and
over. A good ten seconds passed before he spoke again. “A few days,” he echoed.
“It’s not as if I could make her forget I was a vampire after she came across me feeding.”
Noah’s eyes widened slightly. “She resisted your power?”
“Shrugged it off like it was nothing. Have you ever come across a human like that?”
“Not really. I’ve heard of people training themselves to resist us purposefully, but I’ve never run across one. Sure, humans who are fully aware of who and what we are can be difficult to control mentally—it’s like forewarned is forearmed, even though it seems to be an unconscious resistance.” Noah shook his head. “It could simply be a rare genetic trait, to be resistant to us. I will discuss it with Alex. He’ll know more.”
“I almost think it’s pure stubbornness on her part.”
A hint of a smile touched Noah’s mouth. “Perhaps.”
Charles heard the small noise—a soft shuffling—the same moment Noah’s face wrinkled with irritation.
“You’re good,” Noah said, raising his voice, “but not good enough to sneak up on vampires, my dear.”
An audible sigh, then the door opened. “One of these days, I’ll get you.”
“I’m sure you will.” Noah smiled at Alice. And she smiled back, lighting the whole room with her presence. “But not while you’re still a human.”
Noah walked around the desk to give her a quick kiss, and Charles suddenly felt like he shouldn’t be here, witnessing this very personal moment. Something twisted in his chest, and he swallowed hard, staring down at the stack of papers Noah had nervously messed with.
“So, tell me,” Alice demanded.
Charles glanced back at the couple, romantic moment safely over if Alice’s tone was any indication. Her steely gaze was locked on Noah.
“You should really let us take care of this,” he said, although there was no insistence in his tone. He already knew he’d lost.
“Yeah, right,” she said, pinching him playfully. The woman was kind at heart; she could hold a hard look on someone she loved for only so long.
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