by Sarah Perry
Some people gave me their secrets, and I hope that where I have included them, I have done them justice. Other people’s secrets were revealed to me indirectly, via their interviews with police years ago. I have included only those that I have deemed absolutely necessary, and have done my best to independently verify each story that appears, or make it clear to the reader that what’s presented is a rumor or in doubt. In certain instances where embarrassing or incriminating information appears, I have employed pseudonyms. This is especially true of people whom, for various reasons, I did not have the opportunity to interview. However, each pseudonym represents a real person, either living or deceased—there are no composite or made-up characters in this book.
The line between personal quest and journalistic project can sometimes be difficult to draw. There was a lot of research I did for due diligence, to make sure I thoroughly canvassed all the available information, but some that I did not. Michael Hutchinson is not a pseudonym, and for several years I considered approaching him for an interview. Ultimately, I decided that hearing whatever he might tell me wasn’t worth the psychological danger of being near him. To be in conversation with someone, you must cooperate with them, however briefly, and I have no wish to cooperate with him. I also decided not to interview Hutchinson’s friends, associates, or family members. This book isn’t about him. It’s about Mom.
Acknowledgments
This book is a sad one, with a great loss at its center. But writing it has brought me more love and support than I ever could have imagined. It is impossible to list everyone who contributed, and as I write this, I am thinking of many others not named here.
Thanks to my mentors, who encouraged me artistically, professionally, and personally. Alan Michael Parker: this would not exist without you. You caught me just in time. Margo Jefferson, your gentle yet incisive guidance was invaluable in those very early days. Lis Harris, Richard Locke, Amy Benson, Michelle Orange, Benjamin Taylor: your feedback and advice made this much better. Most especially, thanks and love to Patricia O’Toole, whose kindness and wisdom have helped make this and uncountable other books possible. So proud to be part of your crew.
Thanks to Jin Auh for your patience, from the very start, and for strengthening my resolve in challenging moments. Jessica Friedman, your sweetness and attentiveness have been so reassuring. Huge thanks to Andrea Schulz, who took a chance on a first-timer, and even bigger thanks to Naomi Gibbs, the most intelligent, tactful, caring editor I could have asked for. I do not know how I could have pulled this off without you.
Endless gratitude to Will Palmer, the best copyeditor on earth, and a dear friend.
To Hannah Harlow, Lori Glazer, Alexandra Primiani, Savannah Jones, and Rachel Fershleiser, whose enthusiasm for and dedication to this book continue to move me: thank you for helping this story find readers.
I wrote this book in many places of refuge. Thanks to the Eastern Frontier Educational Foundation, the Edward F. Albee Foundation, PLAYA, Joan Leitzer and Kenneth Spirer, Cerese Vaden, Val and Mark Jacobs, and Bridget Potter for solitude and space in which to work. Thanks to Andriana Iudice and Jesse Crowder for digitizing many, many hours of tapes and videos so I could work on the road.
Marina Blitshteyn, words fail me. Logistically and personally, you’ve contributed so much to this book, and you’ve picked me up more times than you know.
Thanks and undying respect to just some of the badass ladies of the Columbia MFA, circa ’10–’13: Tara FitzGerald, Raina Lipsitz, Rebecca Worby, Ashley Patrick, Melissa Rhodes, Dale Megan Healey, Elizabeth Greenwood, Austen Rosenfeld, Athena Thiessen, and Meghan Maguire. Honored to count myself among you. Special thanks to Valerie Seiling Jacobs for her legal expertise and for her help cutting through bullshit. Love to Karen “Dred” Williams for patiently listening and helping me get back to sanity, so many times. Thanks to Jyll Hubbard- Salk for the space you’ve made for all of us.
Derby love to my friends and teammates from Red Stick Roller Derby, Gotham Rec. League, and Suburbia Roller Derby for keeping me sane and getting me away from my desk occasionally, and to Maine Roller Derby, for being so welcoming that I actually felt at home again, against all odds.
Thanks to Ashley Wilson for lying and saying she had time off school the week of the trial, thereby making an incredibly hard week much more manageable.
Evangeline White: you weren’t the first person I told this story to, but you were the first who really listened, and I thank you for listening still. I can never be too cynical about a world that has brought me your friendship. Marin Sardy: your love and editorial guidance alone were enough to make Columbia worth it.
To all the people featured in this book who not only provided thoughtful answers to my questions, but who made a point of giving me permission to portray them as truthfully as I could, character flaws and all: thank you. May all memoirists be blessed with such generous subjects.
The cooperation of the Maine State Police and the Maine Office of the Attorney General made an incredibly difficult task much easier than it might have been. Thanks especially to Deputy Attorney General Lisa Marchese, former victim witness advocate Susie Maynard, and, of course, Lieutenant Walter Grzyb. Thanks also to the Bridgton Police, particularly Lieutenant Peter Madura.
To Dennis Lorrain: thank you for your generosity, and for understanding that it is impossible to tell all sides of this story.
Thanks to Linda Arris for being brave enough to let me in, and for keeping Mom’s memory so very much alive.
This is also in memory of Grace Bartlett, Gloria LeBlond, and Elizabeth Brinson.
Finally, to my family, particularly Glenice Russo, Gwendolyn Fontenault, Carol Noyes, Webster Farnum, and Wendall Farnum: thank you for being so willing to help with this, and for being so honest and thoughtful in telling me your stories, about Mom and about yourselves. I hope I’ve done them justice.
About the Author
SARAH PERRY holds an MFA in nonfiction from Columbia University, where she served as publisher of Columbia: A Journal of Literature and Art and was a member of the journal’s nonfiction editorial board. She is the recipient of a writers’ fellowship from the Edward F. Albee Foundation and a Javits Fellowship from the U.S. Department of Education, and has attended residencies at Norton Island in Maine and PLAYA in Oregon. Perry’s prose has appeared in Blood & Thunder magazine and Bluestockings Literary Journal. She lives in Brooklyn.
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