by Devin Madson
Katashi stepped in her way. ‘No, Hana, that isn’t how this ends. You stay. He burns.’
‘I was promised safe passage in and out of this palace,’ Kin said. ‘And I will take my wife with me.’
With a snarl Katashi advanced on Kin, fire flaring. ‘You will never call her so. You have no right to even think of touching an Otako.’
‘Katashi!’ Hana lunged between them, throwing her arms wide. ‘Darius, order him to stop.’
‘Yes, go on, Master,’ Katashi said. ‘Order me to stop. Order me not to burn your beloved emperor.’
I got to my feet, Malice at my side, but I knew no words would be enough.
‘No?’ Katashi said. ‘That’s no fun. But you’re right, Laroth, you’re out of time. Kill them.’
The Pike by the door drew his sword. ‘With pleasure.’
Avarice didn’t slide the door just burst through it tearing wood and paper. The Pike lunged at him. I knew not if I screamed or froze, but Avarice’s skin mottled in time and the steel chinked off his raised arm. Another Pike threw open the ruined door and met Avarice’s stony fist.
More crowded into the room. Unarmed, General Ryoji dodged the first blade that attempted to disembowel him and charged at the second, throwing its wielder off balance. I had never seen him fight in such close quarters, all arms and shoulders and tight brawling, swords rendered useless. Many a man might have died, but General Ryoji was the emperor’s bodyguard. It was not a job given to a man that would have died.
‘Kill our guests,’ Katashi ordered as he threw Hana out of the way. ‘But leave Kin to me.’
They came at us. Avarice’s fist crushed another Pike’s face and more Vices rushed in. Hope, Conceit, Enmity and Rancor, the newest Vice of all. Then a sickle spun across the polished wood floor. Its owner’s head followed – Pride, his self-satisfied expression unmistakable.
Malice gripped my hand and drained me fast. He threw the emotion out, so chaotic and hard that its recoil turned my stomach. Pikes staggered. General Ryoji, a weapon in his hand now, slammed into the wall.
‘Run! Now!’ Malice shouted, shunting me in the back. ‘Avarice, get him out of here!’
I could not move. Pain filled the room as men fought and died, as sickles ripped flesh and swords pierced organs, but it was nothing to the searing pain of fire upon my hands.
Hana was screaming. ‘No! Darius, please!’
‘Go! Get out of here!’ Malice yelled. ‘It’s too late!’ Another Pike fell to Avarice’s sickle, two to Malice’s emotive barbs. General Ryoji tried to force his way through the massing Pikes, but even if he reached Kin there was nothing he could do but die.
Thrown, Hana skidded across the floor in a cloud of smoke. Katashi had Kin backed up against the dais. Fire ripped along his arms and with already blistering hands, Kin caught Katashi’s arm inches from his face.
My knees buckled under the pain of it, the burning, blistering, scorching pain that engulfed my hands.
‘No!’ Hana was up again and charged at Katashi through the growing flames, clawing and biting, breaking his concentration as he struggled not to burn her too.
‘Darius!’ she cried and once again Katashi threw her from him and she landed hard, her hair smoking. Her maid darted from the shadows, tears streaming.
Kin ducked as Katashi lunged for him, all fire and hatred, but there was nowhere to go and the flaming hand grabbed hold of Kin’s topknot. Smoke poured from his hair as screams poured from his lips.
And mine. I got up, vision red with pain, and ripped the bandage from my severed wrist.
All I needed was skin.
‘No!’ Malice snatched at my arm, but I pulled away and ran at the monster I had created. Flames leapt from Katashi’s flesh as he delighted in his revenge, but I averted my face and thrust my useless arm into the fire. At his neck I found skin, and pushed through everything I had. So much guilt. So much anger. So much fear.
The flames died. Katashi hit the floor like a sack of meat, his bow smoking as it fell from its holster.
Kin stumbled. Half of his face was blistered, one eye starting from a burned socket.
‘I knew I was not mistaken in you, my friend,’ he said, the words less than a whisper, just breath passing his lips.
He fell to his knees. I wanted to speak. I wanted to move, but there was nothing left in my limbs but pain and a dreadful lassitude that edged me toward sleep.
You stupid, broken man, came Kimiko’s words, catching on a sob.
And with the darkness, the Pikes closed in.
Chapter 17
The last piece of paper was torn but I folded it anyway. Leaning close to the dim lantern, I turned it over and pressed each fold, trying for crisp despite the humidity. Beyond the open window drizzle blanketed the eerie city.
‘You are very industrious, my lady.’ Father Kokoro stood in the doorway, a sheaf of prayer paper in his hand. ‘It seems I will soon be sent in search of more.’
He nodded toward the pile of lotus prayers covering the low table. They were not neat, some folds so weak they were coming undone.
‘They don’t take long,’ I said. ‘My foster mother taught me how.’
‘Sad that so few keep up the old ways. Most would rather buy a prayer than fold one with their own hands. Meanwhile a novice folds the prayers of the world. And if he ceased to do so? What then?’
The words washed over me with little effect. Every inch of my body screamed at me to sleep.
‘Sometimes tradition is worth keeping.’
A cry ripped through the screens separating this room from the next. My stomach turned. I kept folding.
‘Perhaps it would be better if you removed yourself from here, my lady,’ Father Kokoro suggested. ‘This must be distressing for you. The sounds—’
‘A man who screams or yells or grunts or swears cannot be dead.’
‘Wisdom worthy of Bishani himself, my lady. You are a very brave young woman, truly an emperor’s daughter. Your father would be proud.’
My father.
‘Thank you.’ The words stuck in my throat, but if he noticed he said nothing and went out, leaving me alone with my prayers.
A low groan came from the adjoining room. Silhouettes shifted beyond the thin paper, one of them Master Kenji, the other unknown to me. While my fingers moved I watched them, trying to make out their words, trying to discern some sense from the nightmare that had engulfed me.
Time passed. It may have been minutes, it may have been hours, but I could only count it in prayers and screams. Tili entered with a tray of tea, neatly sliced fruit and miniature plum cakes drizzled in syrup. I resisted the urge to throw it back in her face, and when she asked if I was sure I would not change my clothes or lie down I just shook my head. I would not change. I would not move. I would not retire to another room and wait for someone to decide what I should and should not know.
Tili went away, her face a pale mask. She had stayed at my side through every disastrous word, and yet I could find none to thank her.
Barely a prayer was folded before the doors slid open again and I prepared to order her out. The words died on my lips. General Ryoji stood in the doorway, thick bandages covering his torso like a makeshift tunic, wrapped so tightly every movement made him wince. A sword had cut into his side, glancing off bone; another into his left arm, now caught to his body with a sling.
For a long moment he just stood there, the enormity of everything seeming to defy words. Somehow we had made it out of the palace alive, Kin wedged between Tili and I while General Ryoji cut a path. Again and again Kin had seemed to slip away and I was sure he was dead, but his determination knew no end.
Once outside the palace it had become easier. The city was still under truce and, uninformed, the Pikes had just watched us warily. At the bridge our burden had been taken from us.
‘My lady,’ Ryoji said at last. ‘Forgive me, I did not realise you were here. Is there news?’
‘No news,’ I said. ‘But for now he is alive.’
‘Then you have seen the healers.’
I shook my head, but did not need to explain. A low keening filled the room, punctuated with sharp crackling gasps. Ryoji’s jaw tightened. ‘Have you not been tortured enough? This house is no palace, but it has many other rooms. Please, allow me to—’
‘Many other rooms in which I can be forgotten while men decide the fate of Kisia? No, I thank you.’
He bowed. ‘As you wish, my lady.’
‘I swear, if you call me “my lady” one more time I will scream.’
He stepped inside then and slid the door closed behind him. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Don’t you dare ask me that question.’ He had been there, had heard it all, had seen it all. How could anyone be all right?
General Ryoji winced as he knelt opposite me at the table. I took up a fresh piece of paper and began folding, pressing each crease so hard my hands shook.
‘Hana—’
‘Did you know?’
My glare dared him to play dumb. He shook his head. ‘No, I did not.’
Part of me didn’t want to believe him. I needed an outlet for all the angry words banking up on my tongue.
‘Hana.’ He clasped his right hand over mine, gifting me a moment of reassurance amid the chaos of my thoughts. ‘I’m here if you need me. In the circumstances I don’t think it’s wise to confide in anyone else.’
I laughed, the sound bordering on hysterical even to my own ears. ‘Confide in someone else? Admit that I married the man who killed my family and tried to kill me?’
‘Hush!’ He turned toward the screen doors, beyond which the healers were conferring over a rhythm of long drawn out hisses. ‘You cannot say it, you cannot even think it if there is a chance we are not alone. Kisia is built on the strength of its emperors.’
‘So you said. But you need not worry, I cannot bear to think about it let alone talk about it.’ I drew my hand away, trembling fingers reaching for another sheet of paper. ‘I keep telling myself I will wake up, but this nightmare seems to have no end.’
He watched in silence as I folded another prayer, working mindlessly, fold after fold.
‘What are you praying for?’
I looked up. There was pain in his face, pain that mirrored mine and I knew I was not the only one who suffered. Every man who fought for Kin fought for a lie.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Sometimes I pray that he will live. Sometimes I pray that he will die and I will be spared the necessity of facing him. Sometimes I pray that I will die, because that would be the easiest of all.’
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Don’t think you know how I feel just because you bent your knee to a traitor.’
‘I don’t. But I know you won’t give up, it isn’t in your nature. You’re a fighter.’
‘Everyone breaks.’
He smiled, and taking my hand he lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss upon my knuckles. ‘Not you.’
The screen door slid and Ryoji dropped my hand like a hot coal, twisting to see Master Kenji enter. The healer bowed solemnly, and my heart constricted as I realised how quiet it had suddenly become.
‘Lady Hana,’ he said. ‘I was not aware you were here.’
‘Is he dead?’
‘No, my lady, at least not yet.’ His eyes caught the pile of lotus prayers, each a different colour and a different size, the irregular paper all Father Kokoro had been able to find. ‘I see you understand the severity of the case. His Majesty is…’ he trailed off, looking acutely uncomfortable and avoiding General Ryoji’s stare. ‘Unwell.’
‘Unwell? You speak as though he had a mere malady of the stomach!’
‘Apologies, my lady, but I am not used to discussing such matters with your sex. I do not wish to overwhelm you.’
Across the table, General Ryoji made to speak but I beat him to it. ‘If I could have ceased to be female by choice, Master Kenji, I assure you I would have done so long ago. As it is, forget that I am endowed with hips and breasts and tell me if he will live!’
Master Kenji’s cheeks flushed. ‘His wounds are… extensive.’
‘Get to the point!’ Ryoji growled. ‘We were there. We saw him burned. Give us details or we will march in there and see for ourselves.’
The Imperial Physician looked outraged and might have protested had Ryoji not lifted his brows in challenge. ‘Well?’
‘His Majesty has suffered burns to the side of his face and neck, his hands, and both his shoulder and his stomach,’ Kenji said. ‘Fortunately his armour protected him from worse burns upon his body. Had he not been wearing it there would have been no hope.’
‘But there is hope?’
Master Kenji pulled an expressive grimace. ‘It is hard to say, my lady. We have removed the damaged skin, and although there is a lot of blood we have applied unguent and linen binding to the blistered flesh, especially on his hands and face. Cold compresses are helping to ease his pain, but I fear it is considerable.’
‘Will he live?’
‘I do not think the burns will kill him.’
‘You are very specific with your choice of words, Master Kenji,’ I said. ‘If the burns won’t kill him, what will?’
‘Fever, my lady. It is often the case when a man survives a great wound that he is carried off within a few days by fever or chills. Barring that I suppose one could say the war might kill him, or perhaps, in the fullness of time, old age!’
General Ryoji barked a humourless laugh, ignoring the physician’s glare. ‘A soldier can hope.’
‘Is he awake?’
‘He was conscious when I left, my lady, but he comes and goes.’
‘I will see him,’ I said, rising from my place.
‘Hana,’ Ryoji reached his hand halfway across the table as though to take mine. ‘You don’t have to do this.’
‘Yes, I do, General. As for you, I need you out there. I need eyes and ears. The city is too quiet for my liking. Go find out what is going on.’
Thus dismissed, he got to his feet and bowed. ‘Yes, my lady.’ A moment later he was gone, leaving me to face Kin alone.
When Master Kenji slid open the door a wave of foetid air hit me. Burned flesh. Charred fabric. Honey. The smells scratched at a memory just out of reach.
‘I have dosed him with opium,’ Master Kenji said. ‘But I fear he is still in considerable pain. It is no pleasant sight.’
‘I am not so weak as you seem to think,’ I said. ‘But thank you for your concern.’
Like a man beaten, Master Kenji bowed. ‘My lady. I must check on my other patients, but I will be back soon. Call for one of my boys if you need anything.’
He left, but I stayed where I was, courage waning upon the threshold. The room stank of death. It was a small room, but well lit, dozens of lanterns casting a flickering mantle over its only occupant. Emperor Kin lay upon a western-style bed, his eyes closed though his chest rose and fell with reassuring regularity. The trappings of the emperor were gone. Sash, surcoat, armour – all replaced with bandages and thick pats of ointment. Linen wove from hand to elbow like gloves and patches of thick gauze covered his neck. Blisters surrounded his right eye. Less than a week earlier I had pledged myself to this man, but thanks to him I had been alone all my life.
My fingernails dug into my palms. I wanted to tear what skin he had left. I wanted to clutch his throat and squeeze until his life drained away just as my mother’s had so many years before. The man entrusted with her safety had betrayed her.
A pile of discarded cushions sat in the corner. I picked one up. Its silk was soft. Light reflected off its shimmering threads. If I ended this now I would never have
to look at his face again, never have to hear his voice or feel the touch of his hand.
Being a leader means having to make hard decisions.
Twice I had been able to stop this war, but I had wavered, dagger in hand, unable to slit The Usurper’s throat. I could kill him now, but it was too late. Katashi was beyond redemption and my hold on the empire was too tenuous. There was no heir. If Kin died his generals would tear the empire apart, unless Katashi got to it first.
Kisia needed Kin.
I flung the cushion toward the wall. A scream tore at my throat until there was no breath left and I sagged. Empty, angry tears filled my eyes.
‘You should have done it. I deserve it.’
The cracked voice came from the bed and I brushed away the tears to find Kin watching me. His right eye was stuck closed, but the left was open.
‘You deserve worse,’ I said.
‘I suffer. By the gods you do not know how much I suffer.’
‘I know it is not enough.’
‘Then let me die,’ he said, his face creased with pain. ‘Take a knife and end this, I beg you.’
‘No.’
His every breath was laboured. ‘Please, Hana.’
‘No. You have to live.’
‘Will you ever forgive me?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Right now I don’t want to forgive you. I never want to see your face again, but even if I have only hate in my heart you still have to live, because without you Kisia falls. So you will fight, my emperor, because it is your duty.’
Kin tried to lift one bandaged hand and hissed sharply through his teeth. He closed his eyes. A spider of blood disappeared beneath the gauze pad on his cheek and I was glad I could not see the broken flesh.
‘Did you love my mother?’
He opened his eyes again, their dark colour shot with blood. ‘Yes.’
‘Being a leader means having to make hard choices,’ I said. ‘You and Katashi are more alike than you think.’