“She told me before we left that she and Father had business with Governor Kristos this afternoon.”
I nearly spilled the sack of grain I was struggling to lift. “Did she say what kind of business?”
“No. I assume it has to do with the preparations for my journey. The envoy from Ilara will be here in—”
“Six days. I know.”
Zadie unbraided her hair and began running her fingers through the strands. “Sami said my cloak is nearly finished. He’s supposed to give it to me tonight.”
I studied her face for a moment. Did she know? Was she waiting for me to say something first? “I thought we said it would be just us today.”
Her eyes dropped to her bare feet. I was just a little finger’s breadth taller than her, but my feet were nearly a knuckle longer. There were other small differences between us as well, not just the scar, although that was the one everyone noticed first. Sami had been the one to point out my larger feet when we were twelve years old and still allowed to sleep together while our parents stayed up late, talking.
He’d leaped up and compared us, part by part, with only the moon to light his observations. “Nor’s eyes are narrower than Zadie’s,” he’d said. “And Zadie’s nostrils are rounder.” He rubbed his chin and let his eyes travel down to our torsos. We weren’t women yet, so he didn’t linger long. “Nor has knobbier knees than Zadie,” he added, and before he knew what had hit him, one of my too-long feet shot out and caught him right between the legs. He didn’t make the mistake of mentioning my knees again.
It wasn’t just that I didn’t appreciate being scrutinized by my best friend; I got that enough from Mother. But being compared to my twin was always complicated. Sometimes when we were small, other children would whisper to me that I was the prettier twin, with a conspiratorial grin. The same thing had happened to Zadie. And while it was impossible not to feel a small flutter of pride in the moment—beauty was always on our minds, even then—I always felt defensive on Zadie’s behalf. Because if I were prettier, it meant she was uglier, and a compliment at my sister’s expense was no compliment at all. I didn’t want to hear about my beauty in relation to Zadie’s, or anyone else’s for that matter. I wanted to be seen for me.
“It’s fine,” I said finally. “Sami is family. Of course he can come over tonight.”
Her cheeks flushed when she raised her eyes to mine. “Have you noticed that he’s grown lately? He used to be just a little taller than us. Now I have to crane my neck to look at him.”
I pounded the grain into the mortar with a wooden pestle. The coarse flour would be used to make bread in our clay oven. The bread always turned out hard and flavorless, but it helped fill our bellies when we dipped it in stew, especially now that we had less fish to eat. “Yes, I suppose he has grown. We all have.”
“And his voice. I know it’s been deeper for a while, but now—”
“Don’t do this.” The words slipped out before I had time to call them back.
“Do what?”
I chewed my lip, treading mental water. Perhaps it was selfish, but I didn’t want to be the one to tell her about my betrothal. “Don’t allow yourself to think about him that way. You have to leave in six days. It will only make things harder for you.”
She planted herself in front of me, forcing me to look at her. “Nothing could make this harder,” she hissed. “I love him, and I have to leave him and marry some other young man I’ve never met, while he marries Alys or one of the other village girls, and it makes me want to die!”
I stared at her breathlessly, my sweet sister who had never uttered a harsh word against anyone. “Zadie.”
“Don’t tell me what to do or think or feel,” she choked out, tears filling her eyes. “You get to stay here with Mother and Father and marry whomever you choose. You have no idea what I’m going through.”
She spun away from me, but I was faster. I caught her slender wrist in my hand. We were the same size, but her smallness always surprised me. Would I feel this fragile in the arms of my future husband, whether he was Sami or someone else?
“Do you think this is easy for me?” I asked. “Do you think I want to stay behind while you go off and see the world? I don’t want to stay here. And I certainly don’t want to live here without you. I would give anything for you to be able to stay and marry Sami. If I could trade places with you, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But they didn’t choose me, Zadie.”
I’m the perfect seashell you pick up from the ocean floor, only to turn it over in your hand and see the crack. I’m the fabric with the tear in the seam that you give back to the trader and demand first quality. As far as everyone in Varenia is concerned, I’m you, only ruined. So don’t tell me I have no idea what you’re going through.
My blood pounded in my head so hard I had to sit down. I could never say any of those things to my sister. They were old insecurities, ideas I’d gotten from Mother and spent years overcoming. Zadie couldn’t help the way things were any more than I could. I yearned to tell her about Sami, that I was being forced into a marriage just as much as she was. But I knew she wouldn’t see it that way. It would just be another reason for her to be jealous, and I didn’t want to fight with my sister now.
I pulled her into my arms, clutching her tight. She resisted for a moment, but her body finally went limp, and she sobbed against me until we heard the creak of the pillars below our house and the deep murmur of Father’s voice mingled with the higher trill of Mother’s. We took turns straightening each other’s hair and wiping the tears from our cheeks.
Few people in Varenia owned a mirror, but we had never needed one.
“Well?” Father asked as he came up through the trapdoor in our floor. “Any luck today?”
“Just look what Zadie found,” I said, pointing to the oyster with the five pearls. The other two had yielded three between them, but their color couldn’t match the others.
Father’s dark eyebrows rose. “Zadie found these?”
“Of course she did,” Mother said, coming up behind us and resting a hand on Zadie’s shoulder. She was in an unnervingly good mood. “She’s our lucky pearl.”
I could feel Zadie’s eyes on me, but I didn’t turn my head.
“We’ll use them for Nor’s dowry,” Mother added.
Ah, yes, my dowry. Mother had been speaking of it for years, since shortly after the incident, the implication always clear that she’d never be able to marry me off without the promise of a good dowry.
“Calliope,” Father chided her gently.
She ignored him and plucked the pearls from their shell. “Absolutely stunning. Where did you find the oyster?”
“Near the reef,” Zadie answered.
“These must have been close to a blood coral to have such strong coloration. You didn’t get close to it, did you, Zadie?”
“No, Mother. We are always careful.”
“Good. Now hurry up and bathe. We’re eating with the governor and his family tonight.”
“Why?” I asked. It wasn’t unusual for them to visit our home, but we never went to the governor’s house for meals. That was an honor reserved only for family.
Family. Which I would soon be. “Oh,” I breathed.
“What?” Zadie asked, her eyes darting from mine to Mother’s. “Did something happen?”
“Governor Kristos has an announcement to make,” Father said. “Wear the dresses you wore for the ceremony.”
I tried to meet Mother’s eye, to silently plead that this not happen now, but she ignored me and went to her room, humming as the curtain fell behind her. Zadie raised an eyebrow at me before heading out to the sunny side of the balcony, where the bucket of fresh water for bathing had been placed to warm.
“Father,” I said in a low voice. “We can’t do this to Zadie now. It will destroy her.”
He glanced at
me. “You know?”
“Samiel told me, after the ceremony.”
“Zadie has a right to know before she leaves.” He raised the bowl of oysters to his mouth and swallowed all three at once. “Besides, she should be happy that her sister is going to be the future governor’s wife. It is a great honor for the entire family.”
I placed a hand on his arm. “Father, she loves him.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “I know, Nor.”
“Then let’s wait to announce it. It’s only six more days. There can be no harm in waiting.”
“Your Mother doesn’t want to wait,” he said quietly.
So this was her idea. Zadie had given her everything she wanted. Why was she punishing her now? Was she trying to create some kind of wedge between us? I wouldn’t put it past our mother to try to separate us, maybe even believing she was doing us some kind of a favor by severing Zadie’s life in Varenia completely, giving her no reason to stay, but without ever asking anyone else how they felt about it.
Sami. Maybe if I talked to him, he could convince his parents to wait. I couldn’t imagine he wanted this any more than I did. He loved Zadie. The last thing he’d want to do would be to see her hurt.
I was halfway through the trapdoor when Mother poked her head around the bedroom curtain.
“Where are you going?” she asked. “Dinner is soon.”
“There’s something I have to do. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“You’d better be. We need the boat.” The communal buildings were connected to the governor’s house with wooden docks, but many houses, like ours, were separated for privacy, something hard to come by in Varenia.
“I’ll swim.” I tied my skirts in a knot between my legs and dropped into the water with a splash. The sun was just setting, casting an orange glow over the water. I wouldn’t get to watch it go down with Zadie tonight, but this was more important.
The governor’s porch was lit with hanging lanterns, making it easy to find in the gloom of twilight. I hauled myself up the ladder and wrung out my skirts and hair before knocking lightly on the door. I wouldn’t normally show up at the governor’s house like this, but I knew if I stopped to consider my appearance too long, I’d lose my nerve.
The door swung open, revealing Sami’s bewildered face. “Nor—”
“We need to talk,” I said, walking past him into the house. I’d only been inside a few times, and its size, at least compared to our house, never failed to amaze me. It should be Zadie’s future home, not mine. “It’s about Zadie.”
He pulled on my arm. “Now isn’t the time.”
“And you think tonight at dinner is? Ask your father to wait until after she leaves.”
“He’s not just my father, Nor. He’s the governor.”
I broke away from him. “Then I’ll ask him myself.”
“Are they here already?” Sami’s mother, Elidi, called from the kitchen. Theirs was the only house in the village that had multiple rooms separated by permanent walls instead of curtains. Even Sami had his own room, though what a seventeen-year-old boy needed a private room for was a mystery to me.
Elidi and Governor Kristos appeared together, and for a moment they stared at me, bewildered by my presence. Or perhaps it was my clothes. I plucked at my skirts, which clung wetly to my legs, and suddenly wished I had taken the boat. But their gazes drifted past me toward the door.
Behind me, someone else cleared his throat.
I turned to find a stranger standing in the doorway. “Oh gods,” I whispered to myself. He was a young man, a few years older than me at most, and as his gaze swept over my body, I became even more painfully aware of my sodden clothing. Our eyes met for one humiliating moment before I lowered mine to the puddle slowly forming at my feet.
“Nor, what are you doing?” Elidi hurried forward and ushered me back out the front door, past the stranger. “Where is your family?”
“They’re preparing for dinner. I only came to speak to Sami.”
“We have a visitor.”
As if I hadn’t noticed. “Who is he?”
“My husband will explain everything. Go home and clean yourself up. And please, when you return, come in the boat.”
I nodded and scrambled back down the ladder, wishing I’d listened to Mother for once. As I swam back to our house, I tried to puzzle out who the young man could be. Judging by his strange dress and the even stranger behavior of Sami and his family, it was clear to me that he wasn’t from our village, and I knew for a fact that no man in Varenia had ever looked at me before the way he had. I’d only had a moment to take in his appearance, but I blushed at the memory of his gaze, lingering in places Sami’s never had.
“Where have you been?” Zadie asked when I popped back through the trapdoor.
“Nowhere.”
“You’d better change quickly. Mother’s almost ready.”
Mother was arranging her hair in front of her mirror, still humming to herself. Did she know about the stranger, too? Was that what this was all about? I rinsed myself quickly with fresh water and slipped into my red gown while Zadie tried to fix my hair. Hers was perfectly plaited, as usual, and her skin glowed against the soft pink of her dress. I felt garish next to her, and I wondered if Mother had planned it that way on purpose.
“Come, girls,” Father said, helping us all down into the boat. I dropped gracelessly onto the bench, my arms folded across my chest. I should have set the oars adrift on the current to delay the inevitable. As it was, Father’s powerful arms brought us to the governor’s house far too quickly. I volunteered to tie up the boat, fretting over the knot as long as possible. Perhaps I could slip away and skip this dinner altogether...
“Hurry up, Nor,” Mother called as if she could read my wicked thoughts.
I scowled and climbed the ladder. Father and Governor Kristos shook hands while Elidi showed Mother, Zadie, and me into the communal room. A large wooden table—a proper one, not fashioned out of driftwood like ours—was set with more than half a dozen dishes: fresh grapes in glistening piles; cubes of melon and sliced figs; delicate white fish sautéed in broth; bowls of olives in black, green, and purple. It was more food than I’d seen in years, and most of it from land. The governor must have spent a fortune on this meal.
I watched Governor Kristos slap Father affectionately on the back while Mother and Elidi embraced. “After all these years, we’re going to be brothers, Pax,” Kristos said in his deep, booming voice, one that seemed made for giving speeches.
I felt Zadie stiffen at my side. “What’s he talking about?” she whispered.
I was caught like a fish in a net, the sides closing in on me no matter which way I turned. But before I could answer, the stranger appeared again, and everyone around me dropped into a bow or curtsy, as if they were all in on a secret I’d been left out of.
“Who is it?” I hissed at Zadie as I dropped into an awkward curtsy next to her.
The governor answered for her. “My dear friends, this gentleman is our esteemed guest for the evening, an emissary from Ilara sent by the king himself.”
The young man stepped toward Zadie and bowed again, and now I recognized the Ilarean crest embroidered on his black doublet: the profile of a young woman inside a heart, with two daggers crossed behind it. He took Zadie’s hand and kissed it.
“My name is Talin,” he said. “And you must be Zadie.”
“Yes, my lord.” I could hear the faint tremor in her voice. “And this is my sister, N—”
“Nor,” he said before she could finish. He glanced at me with eyes the color of sea glass and smirked. “I believe we’ve already met.”
5
I could feel Mother’s gaze burning into me along with the stranger’s. What did you do? she demanded silently. But there was no time to explain. The governor gestured for us all to sit, an
d I found myself seated between Sami and Zadie, directly across from Talin. A million thoughts buzzed in my head. Did the Ilareans always send an emissary after the ceremony? Was he here to make sure Zadie really was the most beautiful girl in Varenia? And who exactly was he to the king, anyway?
I stole glances of him as discreetly as I could, though I should have kept my eyes demurely downcast, like Zadie. He was tall, his skin tanned to a shade similar to mine. His brown hair was threaded through with the kind of sun-gilded streaks Mother abhorred, but I doubted even she could find fault in his strong, even features and muscular build. His eyes were a startling blue-green, and while they should have been fixed on Governor Kristos, who sat to his left, or Father, who sat to his right, or at the very least on Zadie, more than once I found them studying me.
Mother and Elidi sat quietly through most of the meal, letting the men do the talking between courses. The food was fresh and delicious, but I was too anxious to eat. Mother couldn’t still be planning to announce my engagement now, could she?
“Do the Ilareans always send someone to approve the elders’ choice?” Father asked. I leaned forward a little too eagerly, and Zadie laid a warning finger on my leg.
Talin set his fork down and turned to my father. “I don’t believe so, though this is obviously my first experience with the process. I can imagine it must be very strange for all of you, to have an Ilarean in your presence for the first time.”
“No stranger than it is for you, I’m sure,” Mother said, her lips curved in a gracious smile. This was as close as she’d ever come to royalty, and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. “And what do you think of our dear Zadie? Have the elders chosen wisely?”
She just couldn’t resist the chance to show off. Talin smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Something told me he saw right through my mother, and I liked him for it.
“She is the most beautiful Varenian girl I have ever seen,” he said.
Crown of Coral and Pearl Page 5