“And what?”
I looked away, ashamed at how childish I’d been. “Smell a rose. I still haven’t even seen one.”
He smiled gently at me, but then his expression turned confused. “If you wanted to leave and Zadie didn’t, why didn’t the elders just choose you in the first place?”
“That’s not how it works. Besides...” I gestured to the scar on my cheek. Surely that was all the explanation he needed.
“I still don’t understand. Your sister wouldn’t come, so she asked you to come in her place?”
I shook my head. “She didn’t ask me, Talin. She forced me to help her.”
“Help her what?”
I hadn’t thought about the night with the jellyfish for weeks now. The memory was enough to make my pulse race. Luck or Thalos had been with us that night; Zadie could have easily been killed. “Scar herself.”
He jerked back. “What? Why?”
“She knew the only way the elders wouldn’t send her was if she were no longer beautiful. So she came up with a plan. A terrible plan, to scar herself with a jellyfish. She wanted my help, but I refused. I didn’t want her to be in pain, or risk her not being allowed to marry Sami. But she said if I didn’t help her, she’d do it herself.” I tried to swallow my tears, but there were too many. “I was so afraid she’d die, so I...I helped her. We told everyone it was an accident, but no one believed me. They thought I did it to her because I was jealous. Even my own mother.”
“You mean Zadie didn’t tell anyone it was her idea?”
“No. She was afraid, and I don’t blame her. If they knew the truth, she’d never be allowed to marry Sami.”
Talin pushed off the tree and stepped in front of me. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was like that. Mother always made Varenia sound so perfect. She said there was no violence or crime. I imagined it as a paradise. And when I came to visit, that’s what I saw. I saw you.”
Something in my chest released, and I realized how stifled I’d felt since I left home. “Varenia is wonderful in so many ways,” I said. “I would give anything to go back. But people are going hungry because of your brother’s demand for pearls. And yes, there are some people who believe the choosing ceremony is...well, everything. My mother is one of them.”
“Why would any mother want to send her daughter away? For a bride price?”
“That may be part of it, but the honor of being chosen extends to the whole family. We believe beauty is the greatest blessing. Or at least, that’s what everyone else believes. Now that I’ve seen what my future holds, I’m afraid it’s more of a curse.”
“And you couldn’t refuse to come?”
I sagged against the tree. “We thought they’d choose a different girl. But Zadie’s portrait had already been sent to your father. Neither of us knew about Lady Melina, about how the Varenians were punished when the king discovered they’d sent a different girl. The elders decided Zadie should go, even if she didn’t survive the journey, because otherwise you’d think we deliberately betrayed you. So I offered to go in her place. Elder Nemea gave me the stain to cover my scar, and I was supposed to spend the rest of my life pretending to be my sister.” I glanced up at him pleadingly. “We didn’t think anyone would ever know the difference. We all believed you were an emissary, that I was unlikely to see you again.” I dropped my voice. “You weren’t supposed to remember me.”
He ducked his head, but not before I saw the color in his cheeks. “No chance of that, I’m afraid.”
“No one has ever looked at me the way you did in Varenia,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.
“I find that hard to believe.”
“They’re usually too busy looking at Zadie.” I met his eyes. “She’s as ‘pure and unblemished as a Varenian pearl,’ from what I hear.”
His crooked grin made my stomach flutter as though it were full of tiny fish, and I remembered how Zadie couldn’t stay away from Sami toward the end, despite the risk to both of them. I pushed off the tree and took a tentative step toward Talin. “Why didn’t you tell your brother about me?”
“I would never do that to you. The thought of what he might do...” His jaw clenched as he moved closer to me. “Never.”
“And what if I had admitted to being a spy?”
He braced his hands on the tree on either side of me. “Then I would have told you you’re the most beautiful spy I’ve ever seen.”
“Ah. But only the second most beautiful girl in Varenia.”
He was so close I could feel his breath on my skin. “About that.”
“Yes?”
“I lied.”
All it would take was one exhale from either of us for our lips to touch. It was like the moment before you opened an oyster, when you almost didn’t want to, because for an instant, anything was possible. I closed my eyes, waiting...
The sound of hoofbeats on the road broke the tension. “They’ve caught up to us,” I said breathlessly.
Talin straightened and bit his bottom lip, and I couldn’t tell if he regretted that we had almost kissed or that we hadn’t. He took my hand and began to lead me back toward the road. “I have more questions.”
“So do I.”
He dropped my hand as Grig burst through the brush into the clearing. “There you are. We got caught up in the storm or we would have been here sooner.” He glanced from Talin to me, then back to Talin. “Everything all right?”
“Of course. We were just waiting out the rain. We’d better get a move on if we’re going to make it to the inn before nightfall.”
Ceren’s guards glowered behind Grig.
Talin ignored them and boosted me onto Xander’s back. “We’ll canter for a bit to make up for lost time.”
But when his eyes met mine, I could tell that he didn’t consider the time we’d just spent together lost at all.
* * *
I collapsed into bed exhausted that night, but my mind wouldn’t stop replaying those moments with Talin, when we’d been so close to kissing I could almost taste him. He trusted me now, but I’d had no time to tell him about Sami. And I wasn’t sure I was ready. He might try to stop me, insisting it was too dangerous to defy Ceren that way, especially with Ceren’s guards nearby. But now that I had made it this far, I couldn’t imagine not seeing Sami. I would have to get away at some point and hope Talin would forgive me after.
We rose before dawn in order to make it to the market by noon. We would only have a couple of hours there before we needed to head back to the inn, and Talin had legitimate business there. The Ilarean traders who came to the floating market for the pearls handed them over to Ceren’s guards at the port market. I prayed that Thalos had been with my people for the last month. I couldn’t imagine returning to Ilara with a poor crop of pearls when the king lay dying in his bed. For all we knew, he could already be gone.
We were about five miles out from the market when Talin turned to me. “What’s the matter?” he whispered.
“Nothing.”
“Your forehead has been creased with worry for hours, and I’m afraid if you continue to chew on your lip that way, you’re going to have nothing left. And that would be a damn shame, my lady.”
“I’m fine,” I said, tugging at my leather corset, which Ebb had tied exceedingly tight this morning, mumbling something about needing to look my best for the prince.
“Watch yourself for pickpockets in the market,” he said.
“I have nothing for anyone to steal.”
“That won’t keep them from trying.” He glanced down at my corset and tight leather breeches for emphasis.
I blushed, remembering how I’d looked when we first met. He’d seen far more of me than I had of him, but there was something seductive about not knowing what a person looked like beneath their clothing. It was surprising how alluring leather body armor coul
d be.
“Just be careful,” he said, and there was a territorial tone to his voice. As if I wasn’t going to marry his own brother.
Thalos. Talin was my future husband’s brother, and I had nearly kissed him. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I needed to focus on getting to the market and finding Sami. Talin and the guards had the advantage of knowing their way around the market, but I had only ever seen it in my imagination. Look for the kites, I told myself. And above all, pray for wind.
Soon, other riders joined us on the road, as well as wagons weighted down with goods for sale. Despite my worries, I couldn’t help marveling at the people pouring into the market. They weren’t just Ilareans. There were refugees from Southern Ilara here, their clothing tattered and worn from days on the road, and Galethians leading their glossy-coated horses, and even people from across the Alathian Sea.
“You’d best close your mouth before the flies get in, milady,” Ebb teased.
“Have you been here before?” I asked.
“Once, when I was a girl. It’s a wonder, isn’t it?”
It was indeed. It was loud and vibrant, alive with sounds and smells and every color of the rainbow. A man with half a dozen cages full of green and yellow birds flung over his back passed us, whistling as he walked. A woman and her child carried a bushel of red flowers each. Poppies, for tea and smoking, Talin explained.
Some of the stalls were covered in bright fabrics, while others were open to the sky. I scanned the tops of the stands for kites, but we were approaching the market from the bottom of the hill it stood on, making it harder to see anything above the stalls.
Grig and Ebb agreed to stay with the horses on the edge of the market. They had talked almost nonstop since yesterday, and I envied the flirtatious glances between them, the fact that they could converse in public without arousing suspicion. They could fall in love and get married, if they were so inclined. Even Zadie had been able to choose.
I had sacrificed all of that to come here, and I would be damned if it had all been for nothing.
Talin and I entered the market together. The sheer number of people would overwhelm me if I let it, so I tried my best to shut out the smell of cooking meat, overripe fruit, and unwashed bodies. A parrot screeched in my ear on one side as a small child tugged at my hand on the other, his filthy face upturned to mine. I glanced helplessly at Talin, who handed the boy a coin and ushered me farther into the market.
“What do you want to look for?” Talin asked me. “Anything in particular you were hoping to see?”
The idea of lying to him was painful, but I shook my head. “Nothing in particular. I just wanted to experience it for myself.”
As I rounded a corner into another aisle, a short, stocky man in leather armor stumbled into me. From the smell of him, he’d been drinking heavily.
“Are you all right?” Talin asked as I bumped into a fruit stand.
“I’m fine.”
“You should watch where you’re going,” Talin said to the man’s back. “You nearly knocked this lady down.”
When the man turned, I recoiled instantly. It was Riv, the mercenary I’d met when I first came to Ilara.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Riv said as he took in the sight of me. I was wearing riding leathers, and my tan had faded slightly from weeks in the mountain, but he definitely recognized me. “The little Varenian princess.”
“Apologize, Riv,” Talin ordered sternly.
Riv ignored him. “I’m surprised your brother didn’t marry her right away, so he could—”
One of Ceren’s guards pushed me behind him at the same moment Talin reached for his sword. I watched them for a moment, my heart pounding, before I realized this was my chance. They were all so distracted they weren’t even looking at me. I backed up a few steps until I was in the aisle I’d been in before, and then I turned and ran.
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I ducked between stalls and darted around carts until I came to a small clearing, where women were selling necklaces and other decorative baubles on blankets. There were no canopies here. I looked up and smiled at the sight of a large orange and yellow bird kite swooping overhead. I shaded my eyes against the sun and tried to follow the string down, but it was too bright.
“Where is the kite stand?” I asked one of the women selling jewelry.
She held out her hand, never raising her eyes from her blanket.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have any money. I just need to know where the kite seller’s stall is.”
She flicked her eyes up to me and scanned my body. Satisfied that I had nowhere to hide a purse, she scowled and pointed across the clearing.
I rushed back into the throng of people and stalls, afraid I was moving too slow and Talin and the guards would catch me, or that I would get lost, or that I’d miss Sami. It was possible he wouldn’t even make it today, and all this had been for nothing. I twisted and turned between the rows, growing more and more convinced that I was lost, when suddenly the kite seller’s stall appeared in front of me.
The man behind the stand was stooped with age, and a few strands of silver hair poked out from beneath his flat gray cap. The stall itself was a shabby wooden thing, with smaller kites laid out on the table in front and others tied to the frame of the stand. There were no customers, and the man was watching me expectantly, perhaps hoping to make a sale to a wealthy lady. I should have asked Talin for some money before coming. The sun was high overhead, but Sami wasn’t here, and I might only have a minute until the guards came.
“Can I help you?” the old man asked, gesturing me forward.
“I’m just...looking,” I said. “You have beautiful kites.”
“Perfect for a day at the seashore,” he said, turning to look at something down the row of stalls. I followed his gaze and gasped. There, at the far end of the row, I could just make out a sliver of turquoise winking in the sunlight. The ocean.
My knees started to buckle when I felt an arm at my waist. A lump formed in my throat at the realization that Talin had caught up to me, that I hadn’t completed my mission after all. I wouldn’t be able to warn Sami, and by the time of the next market, Ceren could have many more of his breathing devices.
Worst of all, I would have to marry him, possibly this very week.
“Nor,” said a familiar voice at my side, and the lump in my throat turned to a sob.
“Sami?”
My friend pulled me into his arms and held me against him, and I let myself go. I knew I didn’t have time to waste on tears, but the relief at seeing a face almost as familiar as Zadie’s overwhelmed me. He smelled like home, like saltwater and the spices we used to cook our fish, and the flowers his mother sometimes bought at market, perfuming their house until the blossoms dried out and she could use the petals for tea.
“You made it,” I whispered against his neck.
“I would have come every month for a hundred years if that’s what it took.” He stroked my head and smiled. “But I’m not too ashamed to admit what a relief it is to see you.”
I laughed through my tears and leaned back so I could look at him. He was wearing a rough tunic and a hat similar to the one the kite seller wore. “This is your disguise?”
“It’s never failed me before. But if people see us together they might start to wonder.” He led me toward the back of the kite seller’s stall. There was a small tent behind it, and he ducked under the flap as though he’d done it many times.
“Who is he?” I asked, referring to the old man.
“He’s one of the people I trade with. Don’t worry, he’s a friend. We can trust him. Now,” he said, taking a seat on a wooden stool. “What in Thalos’s name are you wearing?”
I glanced down at my dusty riding leathers. I was so used to being stuffed into dark, restrictive clothing by now that I’d forgotten how strange I must lo
ok to him. “We came by horseback from New Castle.”
“New Castle?”
“The mountain where the castle is. It’s a long story, Sami, and we don’t have much time. How is Zadie? Are you married yet?”
The look on his face told me he’d been dreading this question.
“What happened?” I asked, a note of anger in my voice. “Please tell me you’re at least engaged.”
“I’ve barely seen Zadie since you left,” he said. His scowl was so full of resentment it reminded me of my mother. “My father has forbidden it.”
“What? Why?”
“Because after you left, Alys’s mother turned the entire village against your family. She insists that her daughter was cheated out of her place in Ilara, and she’s demanded that I marry Alys as recompense.”
“You haven’t agreed to it, have you?”
“Of course not!” he exclaimed. “But I can’t very well marry Zadie, either. It’s a mess, Nor. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
“At least tell me Zadie is healed.”
His face softened. “She’s doing much better. The scars aren’t as bad as we’d feared, and she’s able to walk and do some diving. But your father isn’t catching enough fish to make up for the lack of pearls. He’s been going farther out to sea, to dangerously deep water, and the traders refused to sell them drinking water last week. They’re hungry and thirsty. We all are.” He lifted his tunic, revealing the lines of his ribs.
“Thalos, Sami,” I breathed. “How did it get so bad so quickly?”
“My father has insisted that all the families bring their pearls to him. The profits are now being divided evenly among every family. He thought he was making things more equal, but the families who were working harder to bring home more pearls resent those who don’t pull their weight, and this past month they made a point of diving less. So now we all suffer. I give whatever extra I can get at the port to your family, but as I said, I’m not allowed to see Zadie. We meet in secret sometimes, though,” he added, blushing.
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