by Jodi Picoult
A moment later, the rope of my braid falls to the floor.
She spins the chair so that I am not looking in the mirror as she works. She uses a clipper to buzz the fine hairs at the back of my neck and to blend where my scalp has been shaved with the parts that haven’t. Twenty minutes later, she pivots the chair so that I can see.
If you approached me from the right, you might mistake me for an Ancient Egyptian. My hair ends just above my jawline, hanging in a sleek bob. But if you approach me from the left, I am buzzed, punk, cyborg. I am history and I am the future, all at once, depending on where you look.
“What do you think?” Siobhan asks, holding her breath.
I burst into tears.
It is not that I look ridiculous, because I don’t. Somehow, as a haircut, it works. It’s that I am split into halves and I don’t know how to put myself back together.
Before Siobhan can react or soothe me, Meret grabs the electric razor from the table and swoops it over the side of her head, clearing a path that matches the one I was given in surgery. “Do me next,” she says, plunking down in the empty chair beside Siobhan’s. When the hairdresser doesn’t move, she challenges her with a look. “You’re not going to let me walk out of here like this, are you?”
While Siobhan cuts Meret’s hair into a bob on the right, and buzzes the left side of her scalp, I watch, speechless. Meret’s hand snakes out from beneath the plastic cape they’ve settled over her to catch the curls that slip to the floor. “It’s only hair, Mom,” she says softly, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “I know it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. But just in case, it’s nice to know you match someone, isn’t it?”
* * *
—
WE TAKE THE long way home, my brave daughter and I. We walk around the reservoir, like we did before I left for Egypt. There are leaves floating on its surface like small, jeweled boats.
I feel lighter without the bulk of my hair, like the wind exists just to touch me. Meret and I fall into step with each other. I realize that she is taller than I am now. Not by much, maybe a quarter of an inch, but it’s unsettling. I think of her, fierce as a Valkyrie in that salon.
“I love you,” I say.
She glances at me. “Okay, boomer.”
I laugh. “I just thought I should say it out loud.”
We take a few more steps in silence.
“I like him,” Meret says finally. “I didn’t think I would.”
I stop walking and take a deep breath. “Love is messy,” I tell her. “Sometimes you hurt the people you love. And sometimes you love the people who hurt you.”
This is how I want her to remember me: as someone who told her the truth, even when it was a razor. As someone who learned the hard way, so she would not have to.
I can see Wyatt in her features, and Brian in her mannerisms. I blink, and Meret is no longer just my daughter. She’s someone who is on the edge of becoming a woman, who one day will be subject to the same gravitational pulls on her heart.
“So,” Meret asks. “What are you going to do?”
Maybe this is all love is: twin routes of pain and pleasure. Maybe the miracle isn’t where we wind up, but that we get there at all.
I open my mouth, and I answer.
FOR FRANKIE RAMOS
Welcome to the family (and my endless research questions about medicine)!
AND FOR KYLE FERREIRA VAN LEER
Who first mentioned the Book of Two Ways and got me thinking
AFTER MY SON Kyle Ferriera van Leer declared his major in Egyptology at Yale in 2010, he mentioned the Book of Two Ways in passing. Without knowing a thing about it, I said, “That’s a great title for a novel.” It was only after he began to explain what it actually was that I realized what I needed to write about—the construct of time, and love, and life, and death. I scheduled a trip to Egypt to learn more—and that turned out to be the year of the Arab Spring. My trip was canceled, and I moved on to other books and other stories that needed telling.
But I didn’t forget about this one. In 2016, Kyle got married, and invited his former thesis advisor, Dr. Colleen Darnell. I told her how much I wanted to write this novel, but couldn’t do it without traveling there. “I’ll take you,” she said, and a year later, I found myself in Egypt, the grateful recipient of a private tutorial from one of the foremost Egyptologists in America, traveling in the footsteps my characters would eventually take.
For the sake of fiction, certain liberties have been taken:
The coffins of Djehutyakht and his wife, Djehutynakht, in the Boston Museum of Fine Arts are described as they were installed after a landmark 2009 exhibit alongside a catalog: Rita E. Freed, Lawrence M. Berman, Denise M. Doxey, and Nicholas S. Picardo, The Secrets of Tomb 10A: Egypt 2000 B.C. (Boston: MFA Publications, 2009). For the timing of this novel, I predated the display to 2003. However…the FBI really did crack the case of the severed head’s identity, in 2018: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/02/science/mummy-head-fbi-dna.html.
Yale does not actually have the concession at Deir el-Bersha—it belongs to the Leuven mission. They are indeed copying the tomb of Djehutyhotep II and carrying out important epigraphic and archaeological work within the necropolis. For more about the work the Leuven mission is doing, go to http://www.dayralbarsha.com. Many of Dawn’s theories are based on the work of Harco Willems, the real-life director of that mission, particularly Chests of Life: A Study of the Typology and Conceptual Development of Middle Kingdom Standard Class Coffins (Leiden: Ex Oriente Lux, 1988) and The Coffin of Heqata: A Case Study of Egyptian Funerary Culture of the Early Middle Kingdom (Cairo JdE 36418) (Leuven: Peeters, 1996).
After I turned in this book to my publisher, Harco Willems published a study of a burial shaft that his team reopened in 2012 in Deir el-Bersha, in which they found the remains of a sarcophagus of a woman named Ankh, with two cedar panels that had the Book of Two Ways drawn on them. Based on its inscriptions, this is now the oldest known version of the Book of Two Ways, roughly forty years older than any previously discovered.
Djehutynakht, son of Teti, was a real nomarch in Ancient Egypt, as proven by actual hieratic ink graffiti. To date, his tomb has not been found—although it is possible that it could be discovered at some point in the future. Djehutynakht was an antiquarian committed to making his ancestors’ names live forever, so I’d like to think this novel is belated wish fulfillment, for him.
The layout of the Book of Two Ways in the fictional coffin of Djehutynakht is borrowed from the actual Book of Two Ways in the coffin of Sepi, after Adriaan de Buck.
I am beholden to many people for bits and pieces of this novel:
Nicole Cliffe, for her Twitter feed about superstitions.
NBC News for Brian’s mirror universe lectures (https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/scientists-are-searching-mirror-universe-it-could-be-sitting-right-ncna1023206).
Ava and Stan Konwiser, for information about oppositional defiant disorder and holding therapy.
Dr. Claire Philips, for the science of tears: https://twitter.com/DocClaireP/status/1163511118901448707?s=20
For donating their names as part of charitable contributions: Maureen Beauregard and Abigail Beauregard Trembley, for supporting Families in Transition New Hampshire; and Lauri Nebel Cullen and Joe Cullen, for supporting Trumbull Hall Troupe.
Eleni Lawrence, for teaching me about the grading system at Cambridge; and Carolyn Mays, for correcting everything else I got wrong about being British.
Mania Salinger, my bonus grandmother, who shared her real-life story about Dorie and Pionki work camp during World War II and asked me to include it.
For assistance with crashing a fictional plane: Chris Bohjalian, Heather Poole, Chris Manno, Ashley Nelson.
For endless information (and rewrites) about neuro
surgery: Dr. Elizabeth Coon, Lisa Genova, Dr. Eric Stiner, Dr. Nevan Baldwin, Betty Martin, Dr. Christopher Sturm, Dr. Kamal Kalia, and Julia Fox Garrison.
For six-mile uphill walks where we thrashed out plot details, Joan Collison and Barb Kline-Schoder. Joan was the source of Brian’s Mars and Murries story. Barb made me realize that Dawn would be involved in hospice work, and kindly shared her own experience with me.
For my family: Kyle Ferreira van Leer, who translated Middle Egyptian for me ad nauseam and who fell in love with this subject long before I did; Kevin Ferreira van Leer, for being an early reader; Jake van Leer, who shared everything from the Marvel Universe to the rules of Spite and Malice; Melanie Borinstein, for giving me a crash course on modern art; Francisco Ramos, for answering endless questions about head injuries; and Samantha van Leer Ramos, for helping me figure out the complicated structure of the book.
For Jeremie Harris, who managed to teach me quantum mechanics so I could teach it to you.
For the wonderful people I met who work in end-of-life care: Todd Starnes-Williams, Alua Arthur, Amy Morales, Rebekah Duplechin, Marcela Navarro, Cara Geary, Samantha Colomer, Lynn Spachuk, and Loren Goldberg. The world is a better place because you’re in it.
For my beta readers—all of whom read multiple drafts of this beast: Elyssa Samsel, Jane Picoult, Laura Gross, Katie Desmond, Gillian McDunn. Brigid Kemmerer gets a special shout-out, because I think she cares about these characters even more than I do, and without her, this book would have taken twice as long to write.
For the small army that is my publishing team—I am so grateful for all you have done for me, and continue to do. You are the gold standard: Gina Centrello, Kara Welsh, Kim Hovey, Deb Aroff, Rachel Kind, Denise Cronin, Scott Shannon, Matthew Schwartz, Theresa Zoro, Paolo Pepe, Erin Kane, Madison Dettlinger, Emily Isayeff, Jordan Pace, and everyone else at Ballantine who is part of Team Jodi.
Susan Corcoran gets a special thank-you. She may be my publicist, but she might as well be life support, because I seriously don’t think I can exist without her at this point.
Jennifer Hershey is the best editor I’ve ever worked with, and this novel is a testament to her brilliance. This story had a very different ending—one that was quite hard for me to let go of. But Jen, you were right. I respect you so much; you make me a better writer every time I set out to tell a story.
My biggest kudos are reserved, however, for those who didn’t just introduce me to Egyptology but immersed me in it. It’s not every author who can have Dr. John Darnell create a fake dipinto for her, in addition to providing all the translations and concepts that have come from his published work. I had the pleasure of meeting Alberto Urcia when I was in Egypt, and he taught me how technology intersects with Egyptology (and became the namesake of the fictional Alberto). But the MVP of this research is, far and away, Dr. Colleen Darnell. Not only can she take the highly academic and present it in a way that a novice like me might understand, but she can crawl into a tomb and translate hieroglyphics on the spot (while spectacularly dressed in vintage gear). Colleen’s passion for this subject is infectious—whether she is pointing out a specific sign in an ancient necropolis or answering my hundredth email for clarification. The level of detail in this novel exists because of her attention to minutiae, her superb teaching skills, and her generosity of time and spirit. Without her, Wyatt and Dawn would not exist; I’m honored to call her a mentor and a friend.
And finally—because this is a love story—thanks to Tim van Leer, whom I would find in any timeline.
JODI PICOULT, December 2019
EGYPTOLOGY
Baines, John, and Jaromir Malek. Cultural Atlas of Ancient Egypt. London: Andromeda Oxford, 1980.
Darnell, John Coleman. “Hathor Returns to Medamûd.” Studien zur Altägyptischen Kultur 22 (1995): 4794. JSTOR 25152711.
———. “A Midsummer Night’s Succubus—The Herdsman’s Encounters in P. Berlin 3024: The Pleasures of Fishing and Fowling, the Songs of the Drinking Place, and the Ancient Egyptian Love Poetry.” In Opening the Tablet Box: Near Eastern Studies in Honor of Benjamin R. Foster. Edited by Sarah C. Melville and Alice Slotsky, 99–140. CHANE 42. Leiden: Brill, 2010.
———. “The Rituals of Love in Ancient Egypt: Festival Songs of the Eighteenth Dynasty and the Ramesside Love Poetry.” Die Welt des Orients 46 (2016): 22–61.
Darnell, John Coleman, and Colleen Manassa Darnell. The Ancient Egyptian Netherworld Books. Atlanta: SBL Press, 2018.
———. Tutankhamun’s Armies. New Jersey: Wiley & Sons, 2007.
De Meyer, Marleen. “Restoring the Tombs of His Ancestors? Djehutinakht, Son of Teti, at Deir al-Barsha and Sheikh Said.” In M. Fitzenreiter, ed. Genealogie: Realität und Fiktion von Identität, 125–36. London, 2005.
Dodson, Aidan, and Salima Ikram. The Mummy in Ancient Egypt. London: Thames and Hudson, 1998.
———. The Tomb in Ancient Egypt. London: Thames and Hudson, 1998.
Faulkner, R. O. The Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead. rev. ed. London: British Museum Press, 1985.
Gardiner, Alan. Egyptian Grammar. 3d ed. Oxford: Griffith Institute, 1988.
Grajetzki, Wolfram. The Middle Kingdom of Ancient Egypt. London: Duckworth & Co., 2006.
Griffith, F. L., and Percy E. Newberry. El Bersheh II. London: Egypt Exploration Fund, 1895. For color images of Djehutyhotep II’s tomb, http://www.griffith.ox.ac.uk/archive/GI-watercolours/Deir-el-Bersha/GI_wd_Deir_el_Bersha.html.
Haggard, H. Rider. She. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2008.
Hornung, Erik. The Ancient Egyptian Books of the Afterlife. Translated by David Lorton. Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1999.
———. Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt. Translated by John Baines. Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1982.
Kemp, Barry. Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization. Abingdon: Routledge, 2006.
Lesko, Leonard H. The Ancient Egyptian Book of Two Ways. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1972.
Parkinson, R. B. Voices from Ancient Egypt. London: British Museum Press, 1991.
———, trans. The Tale of Sinuhe and Other Ancient Egyptian Poems 1940–1640 BC. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1997.
Robinson, Peter. “ ‘As for them who know them, they shall find their paths’: Speculations on Ritual Landscapes in the ‘Book of Two Ways.’ ” In D. O’Connor and S. Quirke, eds., Mysterious Lands, 139–59. London: UCL Press, 2003.
Shaw, Ian. The Oxford History of Ancient Egypt. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2000.
Sherbiny, Wael. Through Hermopolitan Lenses: Studies on the So-called Book of Two Ways in Ancient Egypt. Leiden: Brill, 2017.
Taylor, John H. Death and the Afterlife in Ancient Egypt. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2001.
Van de Mieroop, Marc. A History of Ancient Egypt. West Sussex, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011.
Wilkinson, Richard H. The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt. Cairo: American University in Cairo Press, 2003.
DEATH AND DYING
Buckman, Robert. “I Don’t Know What to Say…”Toronto: Key Porter Books, 1988.
Callanan, Maggie, and Patricia Kelley. Final Gifts. New York: Bantam Books, 1997.
Dunn, Hank. Hard Choices for Loving People. Naples, FL: Quality of Life Publishing, 2016.
BY JODI PICOULT
The Book of Two Ways
A Spark of Light
Small Great Things
Leaving Time
The Storyteller
Lone Wolf
Sing You Home
House Rules
Handle with Care
Change of Heart
Wonder Woman: Love and Murder
Nineteen Minutes
The Tenth Circle
Vanishing Acts
My Sister’s
Keeper
Second Glance
Perfect Match
Salem Falls
Plain Truth
Keeping Faith
The Pact
Mercy
Picture Perfect
Harvesting the Heart
Songs of the Humpback Whale
FOR YOUNG ADULTS
Off the Page
Between the Lines
AND FOR THE STAGE
Over the Moon: An Original Musical for Teens
JODI PICOULT is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of twenty-six novels, including A Spark of Light, Small Great Things, Leaving Time, The Storyteller, Lone Wolf, Sing You Home, House Rules, Handle with Care, Change of Heart, Nineteen Minutes, My Sister’s Keeper, and, with her daughter, Samantha van Leer, two young adult novels, Between the Lines and Off the Page. Picoult lives in New Hampshire.
jodipicoult.com
Facebook.com/jodipicoult
Twitter: @jodipicoult
Instagram: @jodipicoult
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