I just cannot think of him as ‘Father’ and prefer to think of him as Jack Fratton or Jack but to his face I try to avoid a name.
I certainly don’t want him to stay more than a few weeks at the most and if he won’t go when the time is up I shall ask Aunt Alice to send him packing since it is her house.
He didn’t appear too pleased when I told him that Aunt Alice was still alive and thriving. I wonder what she will think when she learns about Fenella Anders – if she does. I have dreadful visions of the two of them eloping. Surely he is not going to let Aunt Alice down after all she has done for him to further his career!
Olivia tossed the pencil aside with a groan. The effort of writing when she was tired and depressed was becoming too much for her and she longed for sleep. Maybe tomorrow she would see things more clearly, she told herself, as she put the diary aside. At least the waiting was over and their father had arrived although it had not been a glorious reunion.
At some deeper level of consciousness Olivia suspected that something was not quite as it should be but all they could do was await events – and hopefully enlightenment.
Seven
Someone was tapping on his bedroom door. He sat up, frowning, and it took a second or two to remember where he was. After several restless hours he had obviously dozed off without realizing and now glanced at his watch which rested on the bedside table. It was not an expensive watch but it had been given to him when he was twenty-one by his parents and he would never part with it. He had promised himself all those years ago that it would be buried with him. Impulsively he picked it up and pressed it against his lips, closing his eyes against the inevitable pain of loss. And a lifetime of mostly unfulfilled hopes.
With a sigh he slipped out of bed and padded across the bare boards to open the door.
‘Father?’
He should have known, he thought with resignation. It would be the baby of the family. Poor Izzie, deeply insecure and now doubly anxious lest anything should interfere with her wedding plans.
‘May I come in, please, Father? I have to talk to you without the others.’
He hesitated for a few seconds but then, unwilling to reject her, held the door open as she slipped into the room. She was in her nightdress but wore a dressing gown over it. Her feet were bare.
She said, ‘It’s after midnight. Does it matter?’
‘No, it doesn’t . . . take a seat,’ he offered, waving towards the only chair. He had thrown his clothes across it earlier but now he moved them on to the bed and sat down next to them.
‘I suddenly felt panicky,’ she confessed, ‘in case I woke up in the morning and found you had gone away again.’
‘I wouldn’t do such a thing!’ he told her. ‘Never!’
‘Never?’ She blinked in surprise. ‘But . . . but that is what you did do!’
He cursed his stupidity.
‘I’m not blaming you,’ she told him earnestly, ‘although the others do. But I tried to understand and now you are here I need you to explain what happened because I don’t want to believe what they say –’ she took a deep breath – ‘because it makes you sound callous and as if you don’t care about us – not even Mother.’
The moonlight was bright enough to reveal the anguish in her face and he sensed this was not Isabel being dramatic. This was Isabel desperately needing reassurance – but what was he to tell her? He searched for something he could say in his defence, something comforting by way of explanation. ‘It was complicated,’ he said at last, aware that it sounded lame. Poor kid, he thought. She deserved something to restore her faith in her father but how could he ever achieve that? The truth might be worse than never knowing!
Isabel leaned forward, her hands clasped tightly. ‘What I mean is – did you love us at all? Especially Mother . . .’
‘Oh, Izzie!’
‘Aunt Alice said she died of a broken heart although the doctor said it was childbed fever but according to Aunt Alice she collapsed with grief soon after you left and was quite hysterical and they had to put her to bed and fetch the doctor.’
Her tone was accusing but he forced himself not to feel resentment. Alice had had years in which to influence the children against Jack and had obviously done a good job.
Hearing the slight quiver in her voice he felt he had to give her something. ‘Yes. I loved you all. It was . . . circumstances. It was so long ago but . . . I’ve lived with deep regrets ever since. I’ve tried not to dwell on it but naturally it’s haunted me. Sometimes life takes a wrong turn and it’s not anyone’s fault, and you can never put it right.’
Izzie sighed heavily and pulled the dressing gown closer around her. ‘Bertie thinks that some people simply cannot cope with family life and need to be solitary.’
‘He’s probably right.’
‘He knew a boy at his school who was a loner and never had any friends and he’s gone away somewhere exotic to become an explorer in the jungle somewhere and he seems happy enough.’
‘Bertie’s got an old head on young shoulders. He’s a very nice young man. I’m looking forward to meeting his parents.’ That was a downright lie but it sounded like something she needed to hear.
‘But are you going to do it again, do you think?’
‘Not if you all want me to stay.’ He attempted a smile. ‘If you throw me out I’ll understand and I’ll have to leave. I wouldn’t make any trouble.’
He hoped he was easing her anxiety but he was also desperate to change the subject. ‘I want to be here to see you marry,’ he said. ‘Bertie seems a very suitable husband for you, Isabel – and already he is promised promotion. You must be very proud of him.’
‘Oh I am!’ she cried, her expression changing. ‘If you wish, I could take you to our flat,’ she offered eagerly, ‘which is fully furnished but we are going to save up so that one day we can buy our own furniture and rent an unfurnished flat.’
‘It all sounds very exciting, Izzie.’ He was keeping his fingers crossed that he had succeeded in distracting her.
‘But I’m going to put up new curtains because the landlord says we can and I’ve started making a rug for the bedroom out of strips of coloured material. Olivia is going to help me, to speed things up.’
‘I wish to God Ellen could have been with you all these years!’ The words were out before he knew it.
Izzie nodded. ‘I think Mother’s been looking down on us all these years, helping us in her own way. At least that’s what Olivia said and she was told that by the vicar, when we were all much younger.’
He swallowed. ‘Olivia reminds me so much of Ellen.’
‘Aunt Alice thinks I take after you but I studied that old photograph of you with Larry Kline and I can’t see the likeness.’ She smiled suddenly. ‘What Aunt Alice actually said was that I take after you but she won’t hold it against me!’
‘She did, did she?’ He laughed, sharing the joke but wondering what else Alice had said. Nothing good, presumably. Being jilted many years ago would certainly have affected her view of men generally – with the exception of Lucas who, from what he had heard, could do no wrong. According to Izzie Alice doted on him and spent hundreds of pounds on his blossoming career as an artist. Maybe Alice saw him as the son she would never have. Whatever would Alice say if she found out about Fenella Anders? He frowned. She could be spiteful at times when she was young and she would hardly approve of the relationship.
Abruptly Isabel stood up. ‘So you do promise you won’t just disappear again before the wedding?’
‘I promise. Hand on my heart!’
‘And you’ll never again call me Annabel?’ She smiled.
‘Wouldn’t dream of it!’
‘And you’ll tell me if you are going away again? I think you should stay here and live with Olivia because she’ll be lonely without us but she’s not sure about you because you’re still a stranger. But when you’ve settled in and seem more fatherly . . .’ She shrugged. ‘What I mean is – if you hadn’t gone awa
y, you’d still be here and living in this house and when you grew old we’d expect to be looking after you.’
‘I guess so,’ he said, his throat tight. ‘But I’m not expecting it now . . . in the circumstances. That’s not why I’m here.’
‘It’s not?’ She stared at him in surprise. ‘Why are you here then? We don’t know why you came back.’
‘I wanted to make sure that you were all OK. I wanted to reassure myself that none of you were in any trouble . . . I thought if you were not OK I might be able to help in some way. Better late than never, as they say, but I see now it was a dumb idea.’ He shrugged. ‘You don’t need any help. Theo is married . . .’
‘And is going to write a book! And might be famous!’
‘Yes. You will soon be Mrs Hatterly. Lucas’s future is secure and Olivia . . .’
‘Do you think Olivia’s all right? I mean there are plenty of women who never marry and never have any family and she might not mind. Not that I want her to be a spinster but she is a bit old now. She would be able to live here on her own because Theo and I would be very near.’
‘True.’
‘And if you stayed she wouldn’t be on her own and neither would you.’
‘We’d have to see what she had to say about that – but I didn’t plan to stay long here unless I was needed. I have a life back there . . .’
‘Well, I think you are needed here . . . and what about that awful Fenella Anders? What can we do about her?’
He hesitated. ‘She’s an unknown quantity. I don’t have any answers.’
‘But can’t we get rid of her somehow? Poor Luke is making a terrible mistake.’
He sighed. ‘We can’t say that. Who knows? Maybe we all have to make our mistakes and then learn to live with them. I certainly did.’ For once she was lost for words and he went on. ‘I can’t put everything right for everyone, Izzie. No one can. It may be this visit has been a waste of time, one way and another.’
Isabel pounced, her eyes wide with anxiety. ‘Visit? Is this just a visit? I thought you’d come home for good.’
‘Only if the family needs me,’ he repeated. ‘What I mean is I wanted to set my mind at ease – to rest easy about you. I suddenly had to know. If there’s no part for me to play in the family I have a home back there . . . I still have a choice.’ Nothing was making any sense to her, he thought, nor to him, for that matter.
She sighed. ‘I wish you’d stayed all those years ago.’
‘I wish I’d stayed. If things had been the way they should have been I’d have stayed. I’m so sorry, Izzie, but I can’t explain.’
For a while neither spoke, busy with their own thoughts.
Then Izzie said, ‘I keep wondering if Bertie will abandon me. I mean, why shouldn’t he? The same thing could happen.’
‘He won’t, Izzie!’ he said earnestly. ‘It takes one man to know another and Bertie will be rock solid. Men can read other men, you know. I’d bet my last dollar on it!’ He hoped he had convinced her.
‘But Mother couldn’t read you. She must have thought you’d be rock solid.’
‘I would have been! That is . . .’ He bit his lip, falling silent.
‘But you weren’t.’ Her mood was changing, he noticed, dismayed.
She frowned. ‘How can you write your speech about me for the wedding? You don’t know me.’
‘I’ll do my best. I’ll talk to Olivia.’
‘What does she know about me? She’s only my sister.’ Abruptly she stood up. ‘I must get back to bed.’ At the door she paused before opening it. ‘Do you think you could kiss me goodnight? Just this once? You could surely kiss your own daughter. It wouldn’t be improper or anything. I promise I won’t ask you ever again.’
After a heart-stopping moment he said, ‘I’m thinking that would be great,’ and held out his arms.
After the kiss Isabel clung to him for a long moment before releasing him, and when she finally closed the door behind her he had tears in his eyes.
‘God help me!’ he whispered. ‘What have I done? I don’t think I can go through with this.’
Alice, sitting at the desk in her office next morning, glanced out through the open door of her office into the gallery which was busy as usual on a Saturday. A few new faces, she thought – visitors to the town who were killing an hour or so and might weaken and purchase something. People came in to browse and to be seen and to meet friends – a variety of reasons. But if only ten per cent of them succumbed and spent money she would be satisfied.
She turned back to the letter she was writing and her expression darkened. She was at once eager to spell out Jack Fratton’s sins on that never-to-be-forgotten occasion but keen to play down her own actions. Olivia had asked for the truth but she would regret it. Alice had said as little as possible over the years, to save her godchildren from painful revelations.
Dear Olivia, This letter will make matters clearer but the knowledge you seek will not make you happier . . .
Miss Shelley, one of her assistants, glanced in. ‘I’m sorry to disturb you but we’re running out of change.’
Alice rolled her eyes, left her letter and crossed to the small safe.
Miss Shelley said, ‘Are you well, Miss Redmond? You look a little tired.’
‘I’m never tired! It’s all in the mind, Miss Shelley. You’d do well to remember that.’
‘Of course. I forgot . . . Well, we’ve just sold one of Nigel Stott’s harbour views.’
‘Splendid!’ Withdrawing a small cloth bag full of silver coins, she handed it to the young woman. She relocked the safe and put out a hand to steady herself before returning to her desk. ‘Close the door behind you, please.’
‘Certainly.’
Alice continued her letter, choosing each word carefully in case Olivia took it into her head to show it to Jack. She had no wish for him to argue with any of it or complain of inaccuracies.
. . . As you know your mother and I were very close friends although I was considerably older than her. Jack Fratton and Larry Kline were also close friends – it was a four-sided friendship and very satisfying until that wretched gold fever swept America in 1849 and the two men rushed off to try their luck – but without notable success.
They soon returned and your mother became engaged to Larry who adored her . . .
‘You were a fool, Ellen!’ she told her friend bitterly. ‘Foolish, heartless and . . . you broke Larry’s heart. And, more to the point, you broke mine! All you had to say was “No”. All you had to do was refuse him. You said yourself he was drunk but I suspect you were also. It was no excuse. You could have stopped him!’ She threw down the pen and closed her eyes. ‘Instead you probably encouraged him.’
She sat wrapped in the familiar resentment until she reluctantly picked up the pen again.
. . . Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Ellen broke off the engagement and declared that she was going to marry Jack . . .
She sat back in her chair and tried to blot out the unhappy memories but after twenty years the pain was still there. Her too frank opinion at the time had almost cost the two women their friendship, especially when the reason for the broken engagement became clearer. Ellen was expecting a child. Jack was the father.
. . . Within months it was obvious that your poor mother was carrying Jack Fratton’s child . . .
Alice sat back remembering how the news had devastated them all. Within weeks Larry had left again for California.
. . . Although Jack went ahead with a marriage ceremony he obviously envied his friend his freedom. Ellen gave birth to Theo and then to you but the doctor warned that she was not strong enough to bear any more children and that any more children would put her health at risk . . .
Miss Shelley reappeared saying that Mrs Miller was asking to speak with her and Alice tutted irritably but rose to her feet. Clients were to be humoured, no matter how busy she was. Clients were money and money meant success and her private life must take a back seat whenever necessa
ry. Olivia’s demand for the whole truth about the past had ruined her day and had brought on one of her headaches so she was hardly cheerful but must put on a brave face to meet her public.
‘Where’s her pampered little pooch?’ she asked, patting her hair and smoothing the ruffles of her blouse. ‘Is that her I can hear?’
Miss Shelley nodded. ‘Tied up outside and yapping fit to wake the dead!’
‘She has finally understood our rules! We must count our blessings. No dogs. No ice creams. No noisy children.’
‘It’s taken her a long time.’
Life takes a long time, thought Alice, suddenly weary. The unsettling memories always disturbed her but even before the news about Jack she had been feeling somewhat jaded and unable to enjoy the prospect of Lucas’s move to Newquay as much as she had expected. She had been unable to shake off a vague feeling of unease since her nemesis had announced his return to England. Jack Fratton had erupted into her life once again like a long-dormant volcano and he was presumably hoping to live again in Laurel House. Her father would be turning in his grave! That knowledge alone was enough to depress her spirits. Her instinct was to urge Olivia to banish him from the property but that would cause no end of a fuss and at this precise moment Alice did not feel she had the energy to do battle.
Whatever happened in Canterbury, she told herself, it was only a matter of a week or so now to Isabel’s wedding and then her darling Lucas would be joining her. She saw her godson’s imminent arrival as the new beginning, a new development in her life, the prize she had been promised.
‘I’ve made a success of my life without your help, Jack!’ she muttered breathlessly. ‘You are not going to spoil it for me!’ She pressed a hand to her heart to calm herself and raised herself carefully from the chair.
Taking a deep breath she straightened her back, fixed a smile on her face and swept from the office into the main room of the gallery.
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