“At least let me drive you home.”
“Why?” she shot back. “So you can try to carry me back to bed and think that is going to make everything alright? That’s probably the real reason you showed up last night after you did your little hocus pocus act. You figured that you’d better get busy before I found out or you’d lose the chance.” She shook her head in disgust.
“What?! Listen to me. I meant everything I said last night. Every single word. It had nothing to do with my healing David.”
But some small part of him wondered if he was
indeed still the selfish piece of shit that would do something like that. Ten Awakenings ago, he’d have thought nothing of such a thing. But here and now….and with her, something had changed. Choices had been made.
He thought back over the moments he’d been standing outside her door. When he almost turned around and left before going inside to spend the night. Yes, he’d walked in her door and taken her to bed. And it was for a reason alright, but it wasn’t what she was accusing him of. And he knew without a doubt that right here and now, he spoke the truth.
“I’m not letting you walk out of here mad, not knowing if you even made it home alright.”
“I’m a big girl. I was fine before you came…and I’m sure I’ll be fine after you’re gone. I know how to call a cab,” she said firmly.
“Please don’t just walk out on me like this. Let me at least drive you home, and then I promise if you don’t want to talk to me or see me again, I’ll leave you alone.”
“Fine,” she said as she started to get up and walk to the door of the diner.
He threw a few bucks down on the table to cover the coffee and followed her out the door.
C HAPTER TWENTY
The drive back to her house felt like an eternity as they sat there in silence. He wanted to speak, but felt that doing so would only make things worse than they already were.
He pulled into her driveway and she turned to him as he reached for her hand.
“Samson. Just…let it go. I don’t know how to deal with this. I just can’t believe that you would do something like this, knowing how dangerous it could be and after you said you wouldn’t.”
“So…are we done? You are just throwing everything away over this without even giving me a chance?”
“A chance to do WHAT?!” she spat. “More of your playing God?” She shook her head.
“I’m not playing God, Willow,” he said softly but in a voice that would allow no argument.
“Then just what the hell do you call it?” she said. Her eyes burned a hole through him.
“Is it playing God when you or one of the doctors in your hospital performs a lifesaving surgery…or gives a kid a shot of penicillin that kills an infection that would take them out if you didn’t?” He raised is brows.
“That is NOT the same thing and you know it,” she said angrily.
“Yes. It is. I just have a different bag of tools to work with. I knew damned well that there might be risks in what I was doing…but I just had to go on what I‘d seen so far, and I can tell you that kid was not going to make it if I hadn‘t stepped in. I felt his soul.”
She shook her head. “And what? You think you have no failure rate? What if something happens to that little boy…or that old man. How are you going to feel then?”
“I don’t think anything is going to happen. I just have…this feeling. I can‘t explain it. But I think everything is going to be fine. Don‘t you or the doctors ever go on instinct? Don’t you also take risks sometimes and have nothing more to rely on than your gut feeling that everything will be alright in the end?” He drew in a deep breath. “And weren‘t you the one who said the other night sitting right there in your living room that you sometimes wished that God or an angel or someone could come and wave a magic wand and take away their pain? Well, I did that…didn’t I?”
She closed her eyes and turned from him, not wanting to admit that he was right.
“Willow. No one can know the future. No one can predict everything…and I’m not assuming to be a God. But if there was a chance I could heal that kid or that old man. I had to take it. Please understand.”
She turned to him, swallowing back the tears that were about to spill from her lashes. “I’m trying. But, I just can’t right now. At least the things we do…the medication, the protocols…they’ve all been tested extensively and we have statistics.”
She stared at him wishing she could just let go of all her medical training and ethics on the subject. She wanted to so badly, but how could she? Her entire job relied on safety and following standard procedures. “I wish I could just dismiss everything that is ingrained in me working in my field. But we deal with saving lives by following exact rules and procedures every day. And people’s…children’s lives depend on us not screwing up. How can I make exceptions for you that I wouldn’t allow myself, my co-workers, or anyone for that matter.” She sighed deeply. “I…have to go.”
She started to open the car door but he stopped her and pulled her over to him and kissed her lips very softly, wiping away the teardrop that slid down her cheek.
“I promised you I’d let you go if you told me you don’t want to see me anymore. And, case I don’t ever see you again…thank you. For taking me in that night and for letting me get to know you even for the short time we’ve had. Meeting you has changed me for the better.”
A fresh crop of tears began to fall down her cheeks. “Samson, please. Don’t. You‘re just making this harder for both of us.”
He knew she was right, but he wasn’t going to let her go without finishing all he wanted and needed to say. Because this may be all she had to remember him by, and in a few weeks, this would be the last words…the last memory he’d have to hold on to of their brief time together.
He swallowed hard as he took her hand into his own. “It was fate that brought me to your door that first night. It‘s been love that‘s brought me here ever since. And if I never make it back here again…I want you to know that I‘ll never forget you. Ever.”
She wanted to fall into his arms right there, but her pride…maybe it was the common sense side of her wouldn’t allow it. After all, she still had to go to work in a few hours and confront the product of his actions.
The lump in her throat felt like it was choking off her air supply as she slid from the warmth of the vehicle, walked up the pathway to her house, and slipped through the front door without looking back.
C HAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Samson sat there for a moment trying to cope with the fact that from all indications, he’d lost her. There was nothing he could do, or say.
His heart felt every bit the block of stone that he would soon become, sitting in the middle of his chest as he backed out of the driveway and headed down the road.
He wished there was something…anything he could do to change her mind. But then, maybe this was for the better. She’d only have a short human lifetime to remember him…or maybe hate him and likely he’d simply fade away in her heart and mind as she eventually moved on with her life. Maybe found a nice guy to settle down with someday and have some kids of her own. It was what she deserved. Not him…or his curse and everything that came with it. Including the hurt he had already caused her.
And yet the idea of her marrying someone else…lying naked next to another man drove him insane. He smiled to himself in irony. He’d never felt one shred of jealousy over a woman. Until now. And feeling this foreign emotion drove home anew the reality of just how many women he’d left in his wake, who perhaps had fallen for him…and who had also felt this exact feeling as he’d callously tossed their love aside when someone else caught his eye.
It seemed like lifetimes ago…and indeed it was. For he also knew without a doubt that he was no longer that man and never would or could be, even if he never saw Willow again.
He turned the corner onto Lakeview and headed toward the cold emptiness of the apartment waiting for him to plan
what he might do with what time he had left in the next couple of weeks.
A few hours later, Willow stepped out of the elevator onto the fifth floor at St. Luke’s. She’d spent the better part of the past couple of hours trying to get herself together enough to come into work.
But her mind would not stop wrestling with what had happened with Samson. Had she been too hard on him? How could she possibly agree with what he’d done? He’d violated her trust and for all she knew, he’d only come back to her house to get in bed with her before she found out, despite his insistence that he had indeed fallen in love with her.
She sighed deeply. She had to try to push all of it from her mind so she could face her shift at hand. And then, of course, she would have to confront walking into 556 and seeing little David. Knowing Samson had been there. Knowing the little boy was alive and well because of what he’d done.
She was in the break room putting her purse away, when Sasha walked through the door. “Hey! Did Samson give you my message? I didn’t hear back from you and I was starting to worry.”
“Yeah. He gave me the message. I’m sorry I didn’t call you or text.” Willow forced a smile but Sasha wasn’t buying it.
“What’s up? Did you and Romeo have fight? He spent the night finally, right?” Her brows knit together and her smile faded to look of concern, as she plunked down hard on the chair next to her friend. “Please tell me he did not give you the ‘I’m not ready for anything serious’ morning after speech? Did he dump you or something?” She reached out and rubbed Willow’s shoulder.
Willow shook her head. “No. Not exactly.”
She looked up at Sasha as her eyes glazed with tears.
“Honey, what’s wrong? Tell me what happened,” Sasha said softly, reaching over to hug her friend.
Willow grabbed a tissue from the counter and wiped her nose. “I told him I don’t want to see him anymore,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Why? He seemed so perfect for you.”
“I thought so too,” said Willow softly. “But he broke my trust. He lied to me.”
“What??” said Sasha. “Is he married or something?” Her expression turned to anger.
“No. He’s not married,” Willow sighed. “Actually, that might be simpler and make it easier to just kick his ass to the curb.” She laughed sarcastically.
“Then what the hell did he do?” said Sasha. “I’ll kick his ass for hurting you.”
“I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but I can’t. At least not now. Just let me get my shit together so I can work my shift and maybe we can talk about it later,” she said as she pulled back from Sasha.
Sasha nodded. “Okay. You’d better tell me what’s going on.” She sighed, her expression softening. “You know I’m here for you, right? You’re like my sister.”
Willow nodded and smiled.“Yeah. And I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes. Now let’s go to work. We can worry about this later.”
She blew her nose, washed her hands and smoothed her hair, checking in the mirror over the sink to make sure her eyes weren’t puffy before she walked out onto the floor.
She walked over to the station where the tall brunette nurse named Katy was making a few notes on the charts before ending her shift.
“Hey, Willow. I guess you heard about the little boy in 556? I can’t believe it.”
Willow smiled trying to allow her enthusiasm for David’s recovery drown out the hurt she felt over the situation with Samson. “I heard! What great news.”
Katy nodded. “It just happened out of nowhere! I was here…I worked the late shift last night and pulled a double into today. I am so beat. But anyway….we heard the alarm go off on his machine, and went running down there to find him sitting up in bed asking for ice cream. The little cookie monster had pulled the IV out and tied it in a knot…that’s why the alarms were going off!!”
Willow nodded. Yeah. Right! She knew exactly who’d knotted that IV line.
Katy leaned in closer smiling. “And oh my God, you should have seen the doctor or…..or aide or whoever he was that was on duty last night. He came walking through here before the whole thing with David. He was tall, sandy blonde and his eyes…” Her voice trailed off as she raised her brows. “I haven’t seen him since, but I wish I knew who he was. I’m sure he’ll be on duty again, and when he is, look out!” She laughed playfully.
Willow forced a smile, trying to ignore the feeling of possessiveness she felt toward Samson. Katy could have her little fantasies all she wanted. Willow actually had experienced it.
She grabbed the chart off the desk and brushed by Katy heading down the hallway toward 556. She figured she might as well get it over with and go see David. Let all the feelings come as they would, and just try to be happy for the little guy. And the relief his parents must be feeling…well, she could only imagine.
She rounded the corner and stepped inside the room where a technician was just finishing up taking a sample of David’s blood. His mother looked up and said, “I’m so glad you’re here. My husband had to leave and go into the office…it was an emergency. I wanted to step out and go grab a bite from the cafeteria but I didn’t want to leave him here alone again. They let him go to the play area earlier but they wanted him back here to run some tests. He’s definitely ready to go home and be out of the bed now that he’s feeling better.” She smiled as she brushed David’s hair back from his forehead.
“I’m sure he is,” said Willow smiling. “They have him scheduled for discharge this afternoon if all his labs come back normal.“
His mother kissed him lightly on the forehead. “It’s like a miracle. I was here all night. I was sitting here in the chair and decided to go get some coffee. I was gone…what? Maybe 20 minutes and when I came back, he was awake and acting like nothing had ever happened.” Her eyes misted over as she stared down at him, as he sat on the edge of the bed bouncing up and down.
“Do you mind sitting here and keeping him company while I go grab a snack? I haven‘t had a bite to eat all day.”
Willow smiled. “Sure, I can. I don’t mind one bit.” She plunked down in the chair next to David’s bed. “When you came in here you weren’t even awake, young man. I’m glad to see you smiling.”
“Me too!” said David enthusiastically.
His mother nodded and said, ‘I’ll be right back,” as she slipped out the door.
Willow smiled at David. “So…how are you feeling? Do you hurt anywhere or is everything all better now?”
“I feel good. The nurse gave me ice cream last night after I woke up.” He smiled. “Can I have some more?”
Willow smirked. “I’d say we can work that out but first you have to eat something healthy. Did you have your lunch yet?”
David nodded enthusiastically.
Her brows knit together for a moment. “Can you tell me what happened last night? How did this happen. Did you just wake up and feel better all of a sudden?”
He sat there for a moment as though he was thinking carefully about his answer. “Yeah,” he finally said. “I just woke up.”
Willow looked at him skeptically. She leaned in and whispered, “David…it’s okay for you to talk about it and tell me the truth. I know he was here.”
The little boy’s eyes took on a look of surprise and he seemed a bit confused on what to do.
“It’s okay. I am a friend of Samson’s.” She patted his hand.
He looked a bit horrified and had to catch his breath for a moment. “He…he told me I couldn’t tell anyone. It was our secret. He’s a magician and I’m his assistant.”
Willow smiled. Sounded like something he’d say. “Well….it’s okay to tell me. Did it hurt when he healed you?”
David shook his head. “Nope. It didn’t hurt. I felt all better really fast. He took the needle out of my arm….and then I wanted some ice cream and he told me I could have some, but I had to wait til he left and that I couldn’t tell.” He cocked his head slightly. “Are y
ou one of them?”
Willow’s brows knit together. “One of who?”
“The angels. My nana came in a dream and said some angels might come for me. Samson said he wasn’t one, but I think he is. And I asked the other lady that was here if he was one too.”
“There was a lady here?” Willow asked.
“Yeah. She’s an angel, I think.”
“What did she look like,” said Willow struggling to keep calm.
“She was tall and she had gold hair. And…well, never mind. You’ll just think I’m crazy,” he said shaking his head. “I’m not supposed to tell anyway.”
“No. You can tell me…remember I’m Samson’s friend. And I promise I won’t think you‘re crazy” said Willow. “What else can you tell me?”
“Well she was….see-through!” His eyes widened. Willow nodded, keeping her composure. “And did she say anything about Samson?”
“Yeah. I asked her if she was an angel and if he was one of them. She said no he wasn‘t…but that he might be real soon.”
Willow gasped before she could stop herself, her mind racing a million miles a second.
“Are you okay, lady?” David asked.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” she said, quickly composing herself and smiling at him.
“Did the lady with the gold hair say anything else to you?”
He shook his head. “Nope. She just started to disappear and she told me good bye in my mind.” He thought hard for a moment and then added, “But I did ask her if I’d see him again and she said maybe I would.”
Willow maintained her calm demeanor and a few moments later, David’s mother returned with a sandwich and soda.
“Thank you so much for sitting here with him. They won’t let him go to back to the play area just yet…they want to double check a few things. But I’m hoping we’re all done and out of here by supper time.”
“I’m sure you will be,” said Willow lightly as she rose from the chair. She touched the tip of David’s nose quickly with her finger. “Now I have to go…I have to go look in on some of the other kids. You be good for your mommy, okay? And you have fun.”
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