“Dude, I don’t need good for me. I need good for CD. Songs. Music.”
“You are those things, Son.”
Skeet’s insight amazes me at times. I guess his age and experience gives him an edge. I don’t know. Or maybe he was just born with a way of seeing into people and their hearts. An ability to see what they don’t, then point it out to them.
I guess it’s what some would call a gift.
“If you’d been recordin’ a while ago and we could play it back, you two would hear what I heard. It’s not magic ’cause I don’t believe in it, but it was soundin’ surreal. Amazin’. Didn’t you hear yourselves?”
“Don’t shoot the choir, Dude. We might be on your side.”
“Well, are you?”
This conversation involves me yet is taking place without me, and apparently my silence being taken as agreement. Whereas I may not agree, I certainly don’t totally disagree. I did like the feeling I had while singing Levi’s song. My voice seemed to take on a life of its own. Something inside came awake as I sang. A feeling I don’t ever remember having before.
I’m lost in the silence until I realize Skeet and Levi are staring at me. Like I’m the deciding factor. Like it’s all up to me. “What?” I ask, trying to stall momentarily.
“Do you want me to help you with your CD?”
The tone Levi uses makes his question sound more like a challenge. A challenge I’m beginning to think scares me just a little.
I know the thrill isn’t gone. My insides stay on total alert around Levi.
I try to buy myself a few more minutes of thought. “I thought we were working on your songs.”
“You gave me a jump start with your suggestions. I think I’m going to be okay. You don’t even have any songs.”
“Because I wasn’t planning on doing any more CDs for Feline Records.”
“Feline?”
Levi strums a really bad chord. A scowl replaces his playful expression. Something has gone wrong here. Quickly.
“I owe them one more CD. Then I’m through.”
He doesn’t look up, just keeps pretending to tune his guitar. “That would be a good move.”
The shift is noticeable. What could Levi have against a record company? What does he know about secular music anyway?
“You two gonna banter back and forth all day or are you gonna get workin’?”
Skeet brings us back to the question at hand.
“It’s Summer’s call,” Levi says.
I’m intrigued. And in a time crunch. “I only have this coming week. My son Sam will be here next Saturday, and when he leaves I have to start packing to go home.”
“Is that a yes or no?” Levi asks.
“Yes.”
Levi strums that really bad chord again as I wonder what I have really gotten myself into.
Chapter Five
“You know you might get a better feel for all this if you actually heard some Christian music.”
Levi’s words are spoken at what seems like the end of the longest Saturday of the year. We have been working for hours, it’s almost midnight and the magic we had working on his song must have disappeared the moment we agreed to work on my repertoire.
I’m tired and frustrated. He’s tired and frustrated. Nothing is working. We can’t agree on anything. Skeet said goodnight a long time ago, and I’m wishing I was curled up on my own bed.
“I’ve heard some of your stuff.” I am more than ready to call it a night.
“I’m not the only Christian artist.”
“Then I guess we’re out of luck. There are no stores open around here this late. And the Internet is spotty at best. It takes forever to download anything.”
Levi is pacing the floor, like he’s in a quandary. I’m the one with the CD due and virtually no material. I do have the pad hidden under the glider cushion, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to reveal all that right now.
“Come to church with me and Skeet in the a.m.”
His invitation jolts all sluggishness from my body. Church? “I think light—”
“Don’t say the lightning will strike thing. Not going to work.” Levi interrupts my obviously non-original thought, grabs his guitar and sits back on his stool.
“It probably will. Besides, I don’t have anything to wear.”
As quickly as the excuse came out, the vision of the brown dress I bought today pops into my mind. Could I wear it to church?
“This church is casual. I’ll be wearing something similar to what I have on now.”
“Jeans?”
“Sure. Come on. No excuses. Besides, I’m singing.”
I must admit his last sentence has piqued my interest. “You just said I needed to hear someone besides you.”
“I’m going to sing someone else’s song. A couple of them.”
Levi starts strumming his guitar. I’ve determined something here. Levi is a night owl. He doesn’t seem the least bit tired. He still seems fresh and awake. Like we haven’t been struggling for the past few hours.
“I don’t know.” The thought of stepping into a church messes with my head. Or is it my heart? What am I afraid of? God wouldn’t really strike me down with a lightning bolt.
Would He?’
Levi looks at me as his fingers play softly on his guitar. “I’ll pick you up at nine.”
I’m starting to feel uneasy. Like I might agree to go with him. “Nine?”
“Yeah, I need to set up. And maybe I could use some help.”
He’s smiling now, and my heart realizes this guy might be someone I could really fall for. Although falling for Levi isn’t an option. “Stop talking trash. You don’t need my help.”
His expression changes from playful to pensive. “Summer Sinclair, you have no idea what I need.”
The doorbell is ringing. Again and again. I slowly awake out of a dream to realize the ringing doorbell is not part of my dream. It’s reality.
One look at the clock makes me groan. It’s not even seven o’clock. I know I told Levi I would go to church with him this morning, but isn’t this a little early?
Then panic mode strikes. It’s way too early for a social call. The persistent ringing of the doorbell at this time of the morning can only mean one thing.
An emergency.
Skeet?
I yank on my robe as I storm down the stairs. Keeping some sense of my senses, I look through the peephole.
Todd? Valentine? What are my ex-husband and sister doing here? My heart pounds so hard my breath is almost taken away at the one conclusion I draw. I fling open the door. “Is Sam okay?”
A quizzical look crosses my ex-husband’s face. “Our son is fine. Your sister here, on the other hand, is not.”
My heart slows somewhat as I shake my head, trying to clear away the fuzzy sleep still clouding my head. Looking at my sister I notice she’s a swaying a little while holding onto Todd’s arm. “What’s wrong?”
“She had too much to drink on the red-eye.” Todd rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“I’m fine.” Valentine’s chin shoots up like the action will sober her up.
“Are you going to let us in?” Todd asks.
“Sure.” I step back and open the door wide letting two of my enemies into my territory. Okay, enemy may be a strong word. But Todd is trying to take my son permanently, and Valentine, well, she just plain doesn’t like me most of the time. There has to be a reason they are invading my temporary home this early in the morning. There has to be something wrong. “Is Mother okay?”
“She’s fine.” Valentine hitches her oversized purse on her shoulder while trying not to teeter too much on her spiked heels.
I can tell her dark brown hair had previously been in a ponytail, and some of it still is, but strands have escaped giving her a tousled look. Actually, her whole attire is tousled. From her cheerleader denim shorts to her low cut tank showing off the assets I purchased for her twenty-fifth birthday. She begged and begged, assuring m
e they would give her an air of confidence which would in turn help her in the industry.
Which industry, I’m not sure. She’s tried all of them and doesn’t seem to be very good at anything. Not because she can’t be, but because she’s impatient and unwilling to work hard. Her singing isn’t quite up to par, her dancing is way under par, and the word practice isn’t in her vocabulary.
I even tried to snag her a modeling gig, you know, thinking standing still, smiling and jutting an arm here and there would be doable, but was told she didn’t have the face for it. “She’s just not pretty, if you want to know the truth.”
Those words were spoken by Enrique Duvall. The name behind almost every super model I know.
So.
Of course, I didn’t tell Valentine he said those words. I told her she didn’t have the look he was searching for. But I think she knew. She’s always been compared to me. Truthfully, I think she resents me for it. That makes me extremely leery of this unexpected visit.
“So,” I start, “If Mother and Sam are fine, what are you doing here? It’s extremely early.”
Todd looks straight at me. “I gotta keep my girl straight. Make sure she’s behaving. The hearing’s coming up real soon. You doing okay, Princess?”
After I told him how much it annoyed me to be called Princess by Coleman, Todd immediately started calling me by the same name just to irritate me. But I was too much in love to grasp the meanness behind the gesture.
And he hasn’t changed one bit. His baggy jeans, oversized jersey and baseball cap make me wonder if he’s changed clothes since I’ve seen him last. You’d think he could change his wardrobe every now and then. I hope he’s not dressing Sam in these types of clothes. “Todd. You aren’t making any sense. We’ve known the hearing date for a while.”
“Like I said. It’s getting close. Besides, Coleman called me and told me you had a guy over here. A music guy. What’s up with that, Sista. Is he here now, shackin’ with you?”
My insides revolt at the way he’s talking about Levi. I shake my head. This is insane. Todd is insane. What did I ever see in him? “You mean you flew all the way here from California to see if I have a guy here?”
“Among other things. You taking any junk? Got some stash hidden somewhere? Maybe a bottle of that Citrus Vodka you were inhaling before the breakdown?”
“Get out.” I’m not even awake enough to sound forceful.
“Whoa! Not so fast. Somebody’s gotta be checking on you. Especially if you’re hanging with a guy I don’t know. It’s bad enough you’re hiding out here, doing who-knows-what with who-knows-who.”
I pull the belt on my robe tighter. “I’m asking you to leave.”
I slowly chop the words out, fighting a rage inside of me I haven’t experienced in a while. His words throw Levi into a category with all the other guys I’ve hung out with. And Levi doesn’t belong there. He’s different. He’s not some mindless follower who would blend in with the group.
How dare Todd put him in that league? “Leave now.”
“I’m just going to have me a look-see, then I’ll be on my way.”
“You don’t need to look around. You need to leave.”
He cocks his head and grabs his belt buckle. “It’s a long drive from Atlanta. I’m in need of facilities.”
I wish I could wipe the smirk off his face. “Hurry up.”
Resisting the urge to follow him, I stand patiently tapping my foot with each passing second. I have no idea why I’m feeling crazy inside. I have nothing to hide. I’ve been on the straight for months now.
It’s then I notice Valentine on the couch. Asleep. Her ginormus purse sits on the floor. I go over and shake her shoulder.
“Valentine. Wake up.”
She snuggles deeper into the pillow, looking like a lost little girl instead of a twenty-six-year-old woman. Oh, how well I know the feeling. It’s nice seeing her face calm and serene, not grimacing. Her heavily black-lined eyes are shut, therefore they aren’t narrowed at me, rebelling because I’ve had some success. Success that prevented me from having normal family relationships.
“Clean as a whistle,” Todd states as he makes his way downstairs. “Isn’t it a bummer having to climb those stairs every time you have to take a—”
“I’m used to it,” I say, cutting off his vulgarity. He still has a pretty face. In the beginning it’s what hooked me. I’m glad I see past those things now because knowing his personality uglies up his face a whole lot.
Todd glances at the couch. “She’s out, isn’t she?”
“Yes. So help me wake her up. You need to leave.”
“I’m gonna help by getting her suitcases out of the car. In as much as I would like to catch you doing something, anything, wrong, I wouldn’t fly all the way here just to spend five minutes. Valley here,” he points to my sleeping sister, “she had to come. And you know she doesn’t drive down the street by herself. So I did the ex-brotherly-in-law thing and flew out here with her.”
Thoughts of Levi, church, Skeet, God—thoughts of everyone and everything but my sister roll around my head. What am I going to do? She can’t stay here. She’s dependent, she’s clingy, and I won’t have a moment to myself. Or is the bigger problem I won’t have a moment alone with Levi?
Todd must have slipped out during my woe-is-me thought process. I hear a few choice words as he maneuvers Valentine’s luggage up the porch steps. He manages to get her bags in the front door but doesn’t volunteer to take them upstairs.
“Here you go. She’s all yours.” He turns to leave.
As much as I don’t want to, I reach out and tug on his jersey sleeve. “Wait. What do you mean she had to come?”
“Not happening. You’re not jamming me in the middle of this. She’ll talk when she wakes up. Meanwhile, have some fun, ex-wifey. And find some trouble to get into, okay? Preferably some the media will find out about and plaster all over the news. See you in court.” He makes his way towards the door.
To be infuriated by his words is such a sign of weakness. So I must be weaker than I think. “Sam’s still coming in a week, isn’t he?”
“He’ll be here. But I’m not bringing him. Your mom is.”
Great. My mother and my sister? “Okay. As long as he’s here.”
“You better enjoy him while you can, because after the hearing he’ll be cribbing with me for good. I’m sure of it.”
There’s nothing more I want other than to never have to deal with Todd again. I know it isn’t possible, but I can wish, can’t I? “Goodbye.”
I stand at the window and watch as he gets into his car. He’s already punching a number into his phone before he has even turned the car around to go down the drive.
Looking around the room, I rub my arms against a shiver. I almost feel like I need to Lysol the place. Experiencing the goodness of Skeet and Levi has made apparent the shadiness of people like Coleman and Todd. I shake off my paranoia. Todd is just after my money. He’d do anything to ensure that a huge chunk of my change goes into his bank account every month to take care of Sam. So, yes, coming here to try and catch me doing anything he could report back to the judge is believable.
And leaving my sister as his spy probably isn’t too far-fetched.
This unexpected visit has me too wired to go back to sleep. I go to the kitchen and start some coffee. Strong coffee.
By ten fifteen Levi and I have everything set up at the church. I had snuck quietly out the door while Valentine still slept on my couch. I did leave a note stating I’d be back later. I couldn’t imagine explaining to her where I was headed.
To a church. She never would have believed me.
But here I am. With Levi.
Skeet is not with us. He had to head to the airport this morning after receiving a call that one of his brothers had been rushed to the hospital. He told Levi he’d be back in a couple of days. Skeet also left Levi some instructions.
“Take care of Summer.”
Levi told
me those were the words Skeet said as he pulled out of the drive this morning.
Like a premonition maybe? Could Skeet sense that my ex-husband and estranged sister were going to pass him on the highway on their way here? That my world would be dealt a setback with my sister’s visit?
I need to quit thinking about Valentine and focus on where I am and who I’m with. Levi is tuning his guitar, and I’m sitting on the front pew feeling totally out of place. I’ve met the pastor, Ray, and a couple of other people. I can’t remember their names.
I must admit Levi was right. God didn’t strike me down with a bolt of lightning. And I’ve been here almost a whole hour. I look around. The church is small and old, but nice. The kind of church I’d pictured getting married in when I was little. You know, with the aisle in the center so my train could drag behind. Stained glass windows on both sides, letting in soft light.
My last minute wedding to Todd in Las Vegas was a far cry from my little-girl dreams. I carried a couple of flowers from a vase off a restaurant table. My attire? A black mini and flip flops.
Some dreams come true.
Some don’t.
And some turn into nightmares.
The past is the past. You can’t change it. Leave it behind.
I need to move forward. Focus on what is happening now. And what is happening now is church. And Levi. As restless and awkward as I feel around Levi, I also feel safe. Like he wouldn’t let anything happen to me.
This is the feeling I want to give Sam. I want him to know that when he’s around me nothing will happen to him. Shame at the way I’ve previously acted as a mother threatens to overwhelm me.
There you go again. Don’t dwell on the past, Summer. You’ll never move forward. Learn from the past, but don’t stay there.
My therapist’s words run through my mind. I want to move forward, I really do. But can I?
“Earth to Summer.”
I look up, hoping my feelings aren’t visible to Levi. I paste a plastic smile on my face. “Yes?”
“Just making sure you’re still with me.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m here.”
Summer's Song Page 5