by S. M. Shade
“I’m so shitfaced.” Silence reigns for a moment until Jani’s gaze meets mine and we both break into laughter. “Did I scare Noble off?”
“I think he went over to Neal’s.”
After a few seconds, I kick my shoes off. “I threw my taco at him.”
Jani snorts out a laugh. “Not the one you wanted to throw at him.”
My hands rise to cover my hot face. “We just confirmed the rumor for the whole neighborhood. Funny, since it won’t be true anymore. We’re done. Not that we were ever really together.” Leaning over, I lay my head on the arm of the couch. Damn, this is comfortable. Why did I never realize how comfortable my couch was? “Aiden go to bed okay?”
“Yeah, he’s out like a light. Don’t worry.”
“Thanks.”
My eyes fall closed for a second until I hear Aiden’s voice. “Mom? Why did you sleep on the couch? Did you know Jani is in your bed? Where is Noble? Can I go play with Bailey?”
What fresh hell am I in now? My eyelids feel like they’re glued shut, and it takes a second for me to force them open. I’m sorry the second I do, and they slam shut against the bright sunlight.
Shit. I passed out on the couch. And now, I feel like warmed over garbage. “Give me a minute to wake up, Ade,” I grumble. As soon as I sit up, my head spins, and I dart for the bathroom.
Dry heaves suck. One of the basic rules of drinking is to eat before and after. Fucking Neal. I wouldn’t be sick if the tacos had made it into my stomach instead of the yard. Oh god. Last night I made a complete idiot of myself screaming in the front yard. I’m never drinking again.
“Mom?” Aiden pops open the door to see me sitting on the floor. “Are you sick?”
“Just a little. Go get yourself some cereal and watch cartoons for a bit, okay?”
“Okay.”
Jani enters a moment later with a bottle of water and a wet washcloth. “Thanks. And thanks for staying. I didn’t mean to get that messed up.”
Jani grins at me. “No worries. Looked like you needed it.”
“The whole neighborhood is going to be talking about me,” I groan.
“Only until something else happens. And Darla just put a creepy mannequin in her front window. She hangs that floppy sunhat on it when she isn’t wearing it.”
Aiden pokes his head in the room. “She isn’t a witch, Mom! Eddie told me she’s a witch, but he’s wrong.”
“There’s no such thing as witches, Ade.” God his voice is piercing my brain.
“I know! She’s a vampire! That’s why she covers up when she comes out in the daylight.”
Aiden has me fighting back a laugh, despite how miserable I feel. “She’s not a vampire. And you’d better not be rude to her.”
“She is! I swear! She told everyone she’s from Pennsylvania, and that’s where vampires are from!”
It takes my slow, alcohol pickled brain a moment to catch up, but Jani cracks up first.
“Transylvania,” she laughs, holding her stomach. “It’s Transylvania, Aiden. Not Pennsylvania.”
Aiden chews on that for a moment and then shrugs. “Oh, okay.” He looks behind him as there’s a tap on the door. “I ate my cereal. Can I go to the park with Eddie and Bailey?”
“Yes, but you come home if Bailey goes home.”
“I will!” he shouts, running out the door.
“I love that kid,” Jani says, still chuckling. “Get a shower and I’ll go grab us a nice greasy breakfast from the diner.”
“Thank you,” I breathe, pulling some money from my pocket. “Grab Noble something too. I owe you both for last night.”
As soon as she leaves, I drag my ass into the shower. At least the thumping of my head is distracting me from my thoughts of Neal. There are parts of last night that are a little fuzzy, but I remember him acting like a total asshole for no reason. I’m the one who should’ve been mad.
Sadness washes over me when I realize I feel a little relieved he’ll be moving soon. It’s going to be hard enough to get over him without watching whoever he dates go in and out of his apartment.
I hate this.
We never should’ve stepped over that friend line.
I pop a couple painkillers after my shower and walk outside to check that Aiden is at the park with Bailey. Aiden and Eddie play on the swings, but Bailey runs over to the fence. “Veronica! Dad is going to take me and Aiden to get ice cream! Want to go?”
“No thanks, honey. I don’t feel too great today.” I dig in my pocket and hand her a five dollar bill. “Give this to your dad for Aiden.”
She bites her lip and stares at me for a second before taking the bill.
“Have fun,” I tell her, plastering a smile on my face. She watches as I return to the apartment to meet Jani and Noble.
Aiden flies through the door a few minutes later and thrusts the money at me. “Neal said don’t assault him! We’re going to The Cold Hut!” With that, he’s right back out the door.
Jani and Noble both look up at me as I say, “Assault him?”
Noble grins and shovels food into his mouth. “Insult him, probably.”
He barely gets the words out when I get a text from Neal.
Neal: We need to talk.
Aren’t those the worst fucking words? It’s never good, and I just don’t see the point. He’s dating, and I’m jealous. I need time, not words.
Me: I need some space. Please don’t contact me unless it’s about the kids. And please make sure Bailey understands she’s always welcome here.
He doesn’t respond. I don’t hear from him at all until he texts a few days later to let me know there’s a movie night taking place for the kids at the community center.
I’ve tried my best not to let Aiden see how devastated I’ve been since that day. I don’t think he’s noticed much of a change since he still gets to hang out at Neal’s and Bailey still comes here. That five year old self absorption has been a godsend.
Chapter Thirteen
Neal
The community center looks closed when I go to pick up Bailey. The only cars in the lot belong to Noble and Veronica. It’s strange considering there are usually a lot of kids anytime the center offers an activity.
The place is as quiet as a graveyard, and my footsteps echo down the long, dim hallway as I make my way down to the gym. “Bailey?”
Jani pops her head out of the gym door and beckons me before retreating back inside. What the hell?
When I step into the gym, Jani and Bailey stand there, Jani with a wide grin, and Bailey gnawing her lip. “Bails? What’s going on?”
“I-I need to tell you something,” she mumbles.
Jani pats her on the shoulder and says, “I’ll be right out in the hall.”
Fear filters in as I wonder what she could be so fearful of telling me. If her mother has been contacting her without my knowledge…
“I’m so sorry,” Bailey says, and her tears well over. “I screwed everything up.”
“Bailey, whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” We take a few steps until we can take a seat on the stairs leading to the stage. “Just tell me. Are you in some kind of trouble?”
She shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “It’s my fault you and Veronica aren’t friends anymore.”
Damn it all. This type of thing was exactly what we were trying to keep from happening. “No, honey, it’s not. And we are friends. We just…”
“Can’t stand to be around each other,” she scoffs, giving me a look filled with wisdom beyond her age. “But it’s my fault.” She takes a deep breath. “I lied.”
“You lied about what?”
“I lied when I said Veronica was seeing a firefighter. I overheard her talking to Emily. She was telling her a firefighter asked her out, but that she said no. And Emily asked her why. She said it was because of you. Because she could only think about you, but that you didn’t want to be together.”
She wasn’t seeing anyone else. All the anger and jealousy I’ve been t
rying to tamp down was for nothing. Relief fills me, but I know it may not matter now. It suddenly clicks into place what that weird comment Veronica made about crotch rot from a dollar store might have been about. I just chalked it up to drunk talk. When she said she needed space, I assumed she’d decided to give it a go with the firefighter.
My instinct was to put a stop to it. To inform her she’s mine and drag her back to my place like a Neanderthal. My reaction when she returned from the bar that night scared the shit out of me because I don’t lose control like that. It’s not who I am. I left her alone for both our sakes, because I’ve been teetering on the edge of crazy at the thought of her with anyone else.
“Did you tell Veronica I was seeing someone?”
Looking at the floor, Bailey nods. “I told her there was a lady you talked on the phone to all night. I thought if you both got jealous, you’d change your mind and get married. She could be my mom and Aiden could be my little brother.”
Bailey is usually so mature for her age, that there are times I forget she’s not even twelve years old. It takes something like this to let me see how naive and innocent she really is. What has really caught me off guard is her wish for a mother. She’s never said anything, and I’ve avoided relationships to spare her feelings.
“Bailey, do you remember when I took my wedding ring off?”
“Yes.”
“You remember how upset you were?”
She looks up at me. “That was years ago. I just wanted Mom to come home. When you took off the ring, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I was nine. I didn’t understand.”
She leans against me when I put my arm around her. “I know that, honey. I’m not scolding you over it. It was understandable. But I don’t want to do anything to hurt you. You’re the most important girl in my life, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”
She hugs me. “I know, but I don’t want to be the only one. I want you to be happy too. And I love Veronica.”
Sighing, I squeeze her back. “So do I, Bails, but love doesn’t always lead to marriage. Even if I started seeing Veronica again, or another woman in the future, it doesn’t mean we’ll get married.”
“I know.”
I look down at her, making sure she’s looking me in the eye. “You can’t manipulate people, Bailey. Especially not by using their feelings against them. It’s wrong, and you aren’t going to get the outcome you want.”
Nodding, tears streak down her face again. “I know that now. I’m sorry.”
“I know. Some lessons we have to learn the hard way, kid, but those are the ones that stick with us.”
Bailey sits up and fidgets with her hands. “So, um…would having Noble and Jani set up a romantic dinner for you and Veronica in the lunchroom, then getting you both to show up be considered manipulating? Because if so, I swear, this is the last time.”
“Wait, what?”
Noble steps in, dressed in a tuxedo with a towel draped over his arm like a waiter in a fancy restaurant. “Your lady awaits, sir,” he announces, biting back a laugh.
Bailey looks up at me with a combination of hope and caution. “She’s waiting for you. Well, sort of. She’s waiting for something. Aiden just told her she had a surprise.”
Surreal isn’t a sufficient word as I follow Noble down the hall and peek into the lunchroom that has been decked out like a restaurant. White tablecloths, candles, the whole shebang.
At the center table, Veronica sits, looking casually beautiful as she glances around like something might explode. “You’d better go in before she leaves. She’s not very patient,” Noble says. “I’ll be bringing your food.”
“Did you set this up?”
“Dude, I don’t have a vagina. Bailey came to me, and I owed her one after she helped me get Jani back. The whole neighborhood knows you two should be together, so I got Jani to help. Now get in there and don’t fuck this up. Jani and I are taking Aiden and Bailey back to Jani’s apartment tonight. We’ll send them home in the morning.”
This is crazy. Completely and totally insane. But there’s not an inch of me that doesn’t want her, so I step into the lunchroom slash impromptu fancy restaurant.
“Neal?” Her jaw tenses and the little I’m pissed lines pop up around her mouth. “What’s going on? Did you do this?”
Sighing, I sit across from her. “Nope, we’ve been parent trapped.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Bailey got Noble and Jani to lure us together.”
She rubs her forehead. “Shit. Is Bailey upset?”
Noble appears, still carrying the towel over his arm and walking stiffly. Is that how he thinks waiters walk? He shuffles over to fill our wine glasses and starts speaking in a horrible accent. It’s like a mix of Italian and French and probably borderline offensive to both nationalities.
“Ciao, welcome to Little Italy. It’s-uh me, Noble. We are appy to ave you and your usband. We will start with the wine and then-uh the pasta, no?”
“Dude, stop, you sound like Mario. Give us a minute, okay?”
“Very well. I-uh know when I’m a not-uh wanted.” He keeps mumbling in the horrible accent as he leaves, but I’m focused on Veronica.
“Bailey is okay. V, I want to apologize for the way I acted. Bailey told me you were dating a firefighter and—”
“I’m not dating anyone!” she interrupts. “Why would she say that?”
“For the same reason she told you I was talking to some woman on the phone all night. She wanted to make us jealous because she thought it would push us together.”
Veronica sits back, her mouth slightly open as the realization sinks in. “There was no dollar store whore?”
“No. And you haven’t been seeing anyone?”
“No.”
She picks up her wine and takes a few gulps. We stare at one another for a few seconds until a smile cracks her lips, followed by a giggle. It is funny in a way, and my laughter fills the room along with hers.
“She set us up, and it backfired,” she clarifies.
“Then she had Noble and Jani help her try to fix it. By doing this.” I gesture around the room.
“And they agreed. They all think if you just put us in the same room…”
“Like two pandas,” I snort. “Just lock us together and we’ll be all over each other.”
When our laughter dies down, I reach across and lay my hand on hers. “I’ve missed you. I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter what I thought or what I was told. I should’ve talked to you. I was an asshole.”
She squeezes my hand. “You tried to talk to me. I’m sorry too. I knew I had no right to be angry that you were talking to someone else, but it tore me up. It made me realize we’ve been fooling ourselves, thinking we could just be friends.”
She sighs and pulls her hand back. “I know it’s hard on us, but we need to make sure the kids aren’t suffering because we made a mistake. Bailey can always come to see me. I’ve come to love her like my own.”
She still thinks this isn’t going to happen.
“Do you love me?”
Tears fill her eyes and she nods. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry for loving me?”
She nods. “I know that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“V, I love you too, and damn what we thought was supposed to happen. This.” I point back and forth between us. “Us. We happened. And I don’t regret a second of it. I’m also not ready for it to end.”
“But…we said…the kids…”
“I love Aiden. He’s the son I didn’t have.”
“He loves you too, but—”
“But what? They might suffer if we broke up? They’d be right where we are now. We can’t be afraid of the if’s anymore. What if things work out and we make a family? What if we get to spend the rest of our lives with the people we love? A clean start for both of us.”
Swallowing hard, she grins through her tears. “Are you asking me to be your girlfrie
nd, Neal?”
“No, I’m asking you to move in with me and be my everything. And one day soon, when I’m sure you won’t run away screaming, I’ll be asking for you to be my wife. Because that’s how this story ends, V. With you and me.”
She gets to her feet, and I meet her halfway around the table.
My arms wrap around her as she adds, “And hours of dirty, sweaty fucking.”
Our mouths clash together in a kiss that displays the desperation we’ve both felt. Her hands grip my hair and she throws her legs around my waist as I back her against the wall, losing myself in her the way I’ve dreamed of every night she’s been gone.
Everything around us disappears. I don’t care that she’s ten years younger, that we’ll have to make adjustments for the kids, or that we’re in the middle of a lunchroom in a damn community center. All I can see and feel is her.
Until Noble’s voice echoes around us.
“You couldn’t even wait until after the spaghetti?” He grumbles and puts two plates on the table before heading toward the door mumbling, “Like freaking rabbits.”
Veronica laughs and calls out, “More like pandas, actually.”
Chapter Fourteen
Veronica
The next few weeks are busy, but fantastic. We have a talk with the kids, and they’re thrilled we’ll be moving in together. My lease isn’t up for a few months, so I have more time than Neal to get packed up, but there’s some work we’d like to do with the place anyway, and it helps that we can crash at my apartment when the water is shut off or the smell of paint is overpowering.
We both have the day off work today, and we’re shopping for household stuff. Aiden is at daycare, and Bailey is spending the day with a friend. It’s nice to be able to take our time and not have to drag the kids around with us.
Neal wraps his arm around me as we make our way through the parking lot and into the store. We’ve been so touchy feely it probably makes our friends gag, but I don’t care. It feels amazing to be able to touch him and not worry about the kids seeing.