“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said apologizing.
“It’s okay. Isn’t it gorgeous?”
“It’s breathtaking,” he agreed. “Let’s go get settled.”
The room was a short elevator ride from the lobby, nestled in the corner of the third floor. The suite opened up to the right, the bed placed in the center of the room under a canopy of white chiffon. It reminded me of fairy wings as it fluttered in the breeze. The far wall was made out of glass that was folded back like an accordion, opening it to the beach below.
The terrace had a wraparound padded bench and an infinity-edge hot tub. Just beyond the terrace was the vast blue ocean. We stood surrounded by the purring of the wind and the crashing of the waves as we watched seagulls dip down into the water. I could feel my body instinctively relax, every muscle unwinding on the way down.
Maziar wrapped his arms around me, kissing the skin below my ear. My body responded with heat through my limbs as I turned to face him, running my fingertips over the exposed flesh of his arm and neck. He shuddered when I wrapped my hand around the back of his head, pulling his mouth onto mine, teasing his lips with my tongue. He pushed his body up against me, making my heart pound uncontrollably against my chest. His fingers grazed my skin as he pulled my shirt off, causing shivers to run up my spine. He leaned down and placed his lips where his fingers had just been, the warmth of his tongue like a drug coursing through my veins. I almost lost myself.
We managed to discard our clothing into a rumpled mess on the floor. He wrapped his arms around my hips and picked me up. I hooked my legs around his waist. He walked us onto the terrace, neither worried about what could be seen from the beach below. He gently laid me down on the cushions, lowering his body onto mine.
For a moment, I was hit with the realization that I was actually with Maziar, that we’d somehow made it through the storm despite our never-ending obstacles. The emotions overwhelmed me, mimicking the force of the waves below. I grabbed onto his back, pouring all of my feelings back into him. He matched the fierceness of my movements. We made love in the cool ocean breeze, ridding our bodies of the tension we’d harbored for the past few months.
When it was over, Maziar carried me over to the bed. We slid in side by side underneath the plush feather blankets, naked. We fell asleep wrapped around each other, nestled together in our little Mexican heaven.
When we woke up again, the sun was setting. We lay in bed and watched it drop behind the ocean, taking the light with it. The sky lit up in patterns of reds and purples like grape and strawberry bubblegum swirls as the sun descended. We lay silent and still, watching in awe.
When the darkness had taken over, Maziar took me again under the glitter of the stars. There was a new freedom in our movements, shedding the layers of skin from the past that had been weighing us down. A cover of peace had settled over us in this foreign land.
I wanted to stay like this forever.
We spent the next few days relaxing by the pool, flanked by drinks and the vibrant sun. We took long walks along the shore, reminiscing about our easier days when we were still vying for each other’s attention, innocent and clueless.
We sat on the beach, digging our toes into the sand, watching the waves crash beneath the bright moon. We got lost in our future, organizing its details as we giggled and argued.
“If we have kids, what do you want to raise them as?” I asked, as we lay on towels staring at the stars. I realized we’d never had this conversation. Although I agreed that inter-religious pairings weren’t as dire as my culture portrayed them to be, I knew that the core of the issue was the complication of faith in regards to children.
“Don’t tell me you’re rethinking your decision now,” Maziar joked.
“No, but I get why everyone is all bent up over it. We keep having to defend ourselves, but we’ve never actually made a decision about this. We should probably talk about it, right? Come up with some sort of plan?”
“Well, what do you think?”
“I think I’d like to raise them with a combination of both. Neither of us is super-religious, so why can’t we teach them what we each believe? Isn’t that what religion is about? What we believe in and find important as human beings? I think they are all the same at their core anyway.”
“So we teach them the cores, then,” Maziar replied.
“Yeah,” I said, smiling.
He lifted himself up on one elbow so he could look down on me. “Good, because you’re kind of stuck with me now anyway,” he said, grinning teasingly. Then, he leaned down and kissed me.
We returned to our room in the early hours of the morning, falling asleep under the fairy wings, wishful dreams of our future dancing in our heads.
For the first time in what felt like a lifetime we were able to focus on just ourselves. Gone was the constant static brought about by the never-ending cultural expectations we so readily seemed to break and the aftermath of anger that seemed to follow. Here, we didn’t have to prove ourselves, defend our relationship, convince anyone that we belonged together. For the first time ever, we just were.
When I woke up on the morning of our final day, I lay still in bed listening to Maziar’s breathing. I felt a pang of disappointment, knowing the following day things would return to how they’d been. We were leaving paradise to only find ourselves back in the hell we’d escaped from. Maziar kept trying to convince me that his mother’s lack of acceptance was meaningless, and to some extent, I believed him. I knew Maziar had chosen me, that Naghmeh no longer possessed the power to change that. I also knew that pushing her aside wasn’t as easy as he was trying to make it seem.
I closed my eyes, praying the day would drag on forever so we could stay in this heaven a little longer. I hoped we’d stay this open and free even after we returned to our original story. I prayed Maziar would find a way to be this happy, despite his mother.
He stirred beside me, opening his eyes.
“Good morning, baby,” I said, leaning in to kiss him.
“Good morning,” he said, with a grin. He threw his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. “I could get used to this,” he said, smirking, as he began kissing me more fervently.
I wrapped my body around his and we tumbled between the sheets, taking each other to that sweet spot where the world exploded around us. An hour later, we made our way to the pool, spending the rest of the day in a lazy, intoxicated haze. When the sun lit the sky in a dim orange glow, we returned to our room to get ready for dinner.
We sat at the restaurant completely oblivious to those around us. The conversation never paused, with Maziar making me laugh so hard I was in tears. Before we knew it, we were the last people there, holding up the staff from closing.
Maziar paid our bill and grabbed my hand, guiding us out of the doors. We stepped outside and he paused, pulling me toward him and kissing me tenderly. The emotions wrapped up in his face could have moved mountains, making my heart flutter in response. Then, he grabbed my hand and led us down the pathway.
Moments later, we heard the crash of thunder. Before we knew what was happening, we felt droplets of water falling onto our skin. The rain began with a drizzle, but within minutes, it started to come down in sheets. We began running, trying to make it back to our room.
Halfway there, I pulled on Maziar’s arm, stopping him in the middle of the path as I laughed hysterically.
“There’s no point in running. We’re pretty wet already,” I pointed out.
“You’re right,” he said, grinning. Then, he took a step back and bowed down as if he were a knight. “Would you be kind enough to give me this dance?”
I smiled through the rain cluttering my vision and reached out to him. He took my hand and we began to dance. I don’t know how long he twirled me around on the pavement as people around us ran back to their rooms. Three couples stopped when they saw us, and decided to join in on their own waltz in the rain. The eight of us swirled around, careless of the wet
clothing sticking to our bodies, or the strands of hair stuck to our faces. Our laughter soared to the sky, taking part in the dramatics of the thunder.
Without warning, Maziar stopped and looked at me, as the others continued to dance around us. His eyes held an intensity I wasn’t expecting, causing me to freeze mid-swing. My heart crashed against my chest with the promise of something coming. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I could feel its profoundness. Without a word, he took a few steps back, bending down on one knee. The others stopped abruptly, staring at him.
“Sara, I had this elaborate scene set up in our room with champagne and dessert. There were rose petals, too. But I can’t wait another minute to do this,” he said.
As his words began to sink in, my heart continued to beat furiously against my rib cage, threatening to stop altogether. I began to shake, and despite the cold rain, I could feel heat flooding my limbs.
“You know how much I love you. I always have. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special. You were like no one else I’d ever met. I can’t imagine my life without you. I know things haven’t been easy.” He paused, the emotions thick in his voice. I stood there crying as he reached out and grabbed my left hand. “I know you deserve better, but I’m hoping you’ll still have me. Will you marry me, Sara?” he asked.
I was crying so hard I couldn’t speak. I just nodded. He pulled a ring out of his pocket and gently slipped it on my finger. The light from the lamp caught the diamond as it sparkled against the rain. He stood up, wrapping his arms around me. I kissed him, crying and laughing all at the same time.
Maziar stood at the door of our room, fumbling in his pocket for the key. I reached out and turned him around, pushing him up against it. The emotions were raging inside me, unable to wait another moment to get close to him. I pressed my body into his, my mouth finding the soft skin of his lower lip, as my fingers dug into the flesh of his forearms.
I wanted him.
One hand was wrapped around my hair, the other trying clumsily to open the door. He blindly placed the key into the slot and heard the familiar click of the lock. Never letting go, he pushed the door open and we tumbled toward the bed, a tangle of arms and legs tearing at each other’s clothing. By the time we made the short stretch, we were naked, bodies pressed against each other, fingers tracing a map. He lifted me up, taking the final few steps over to the bed, placing me gently down on the mattress. His body hovered over mine as he looked deep into me, all the love I felt reflected back in his eyes. He brushed a hair off my face, his finger slowly etching a path along my forehead, setting my nerves on fire.
“I can’t believe you said yes,” he whispered, more to himself than me.
I reached out, lightly pulling him down on top of me. I softly kissed his forehead, then his cheeks, ending on his eyelids.
“I love you,” I said.
He kept his eyes trained on me as he gently eased himself inside. As we began moving against each other, gone was the fierceness of moments ago, replaced by a slow-building dance. We were grateful for the length of every second that passed, urging time to stand still, as we lost ourselves to each other. We took our time, enjoying the feel of each other’s skin, the desire that washed over our bodies. When we finally reached the end, our bodies slowed, savoring the fall. We shuddered back to Earth in sync, intertwined and connected. We lay enveloped by the crashing waves and our ragged breathing. I settled my head on Maziar’s chest, listening to the beating of his heart.
“We’re getting married,” he said.
“Yes, we are.”
Chapter Forty-One
The proposal was an elaborate plan Maziar had set into motion weeks before. Unbeknownst to me, he’d sat down with my parents while I was at work, asking them for their blessings. They’d been thrilled, and sworn to secrecy for the next two weeks.
When we returned from Mexico, we were greeted by a little celebratory get-together with my family. Also, there were Neda and Bita. Missing were Maziar’s parents, a small detail everyone noticed.
“Where are his parents?” my grandmother asked. She knew why there weren’t there but felt the need to point out the obvious.
“Leave it alone, Maman,” Mom replied, her eyes icily staring the old woman down.
“Humph. Well, just seems like they should be,” she said, unable to resist the last jab.
I just turned and walked away, but the damage was done. I felt the small knot of hesitation instantly magnify in response to Mamanbozorg’s words. I was already worried about how we were going to proceed with the wedding events in his mother’s absence. My grandmother had just made it worse. Maziar, however, just smiled at the old woman, refusing to allow her to get the best of him. He believed we would be fine.
In the Iranian culture, there is a traditional proposal referred to as the khastegari. In the old days, when a man was of marrying age, he and his family would seek out an appropriate bride. Once they’d decided on a potential mate, the process began.
It consisted of two various visits in which one or more representatives from the man’s family would take part. The first visit was for the parties to become acquainted and didn’t include a formal proposal or commitment. If it progressed to a second meeting, a marriage proposal was made by the suitor and his family.
Nowadays, however, the first two khastegaries were done in one step. The groom would privately ask the bride’s parents for their permission. This was a sign of respect more than necessity. He would then propose to his bride much like how it’s done in Western cultures, creating some elaborate fairytale plan he’d come up with. Taking part in the ritual was nothing more than formality, occurring afterward when the two sets of parents sat down to discuss the logistics of the wedding.
Talks quickly began after the engagement on whether Maziar’s family would follow through with the tradition. Mom knew of Naghmeh’s hesitations, but Maziar had already proposed. He’d set the wheels in motion and now her absence could be viewed as an insult to my family. She began whispering in my ear about her discontent. I became stressed and irritable, finding every reason to snap at Maziar, releasing my frustrations onto him.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked one night, after sustaining my mood all evening. “You’ve been going off on everything lately. I have a hard time believing you’re this angry over where I left my shoes.” He just looked at me, annoyed and confused.
I had tried to ward off Mom, arguing with her, trying to make her see our situation was out of the normal parameters. I begged her to drop it, to see past the world of traditions. To her, though, the lack of involvement coming from Maziar’s camp was unnerving. She knew our relatives would view Naghmeh’s absence as a direct result of her disdain for my family, so her pride wouldn’t let it go.
Gone were the days when she thought Maziar choosing me was enough to get us through. Now she wanted the comfort of knowing I would be accepted by the family I was marrying into. She also wanted to prove my grandmother wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, not wanting to deal with it.
He looked at me, hazel eyes boring down on my lie. I’d never been good at lying.
“That’s not true,” he said, calling my bluff as he scooted closer to me on the couch. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
I looked at his persistent face and felt the exhaustion come crashing into me. I wanted so badly to spend my days flipping through magazines and surfing the wedding websites. Instead, this chapter of our story was much like the rest, sitting around worrying about the obstacles we needed to overcome. At the same time, I was too overwhelmed to shoulder the weight on my own any longer.
“My mom keeps stressing me out that your parents haven’t come over for the khastegari. We’ve been fighting, and it’s just getting to me,” I admitted.
“Why didn’t you tell me what your mom was saying?” he asked.
“Because I knew the situation was already difficult for you. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“
Yeah, but we’re getting married, Sara. You’re supposed to talk to me when something is bothering you so we don’t end up fighting like this, even if you think I have too much going on. Okay?” he said, trying to convince me.
I wondered how Maziar had become the rational one while I warped into the timid, emotional wreck. I used to feel headstrong and badass; now I just felt tired and worn down. I blamed it on the hell I’d been dealing with the past few years, but I suddenly questioned my own strength. I leaned into him, allowing him to carry my worries as he lay his strength over me like a warm blanket.
“Okay,” I said, grateful for his presence.
I walked down the produce aisle grabbing vegetables for dinner. I was comparing two heads of lettuce when I heard someone say my name.
“Sara?”
My heart stopped, recognizing his voice instantly. I looked up to find Ben.
“Hey,” I replied, flustered.
He smiled, flashing his dimples at me. He looked good. He’d gotten a tan, no doubt from the Santa Barbara beaches, causing his crystal-blue eyes to stand out against the bronze backdrop. They twinkled now, as he looked at me.
“How are you?” he asked.
“I’m good. How are you? How’s Santa Barbara?”
“It’s great. I love it there. I hear you’re working with Seti. Do you like it?” I must have looked confused that he knew that information so he threw in, “We talk from time to time.”
It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they’d stayed friends. Made sense.
“It’s great,” I said. “What brings you here?”
I suddenly realized I was still holding the lettuce like a moron. I went to place one back on the pile and bag the other. Before he had a chance to reply, the overhead lights caught my ring, causing it to flash across the cart. Ben instinctively looked down at it. Shit!
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