Once Pure

by Cecy Robson

“You sure? I got some serious moves, girl.” He held out his arms and did some shaking motions with his hips. He was either deluded or lying. No way could Denny dance. In fact, whatever the poor guy was doing seemed painful.

  “I don’t want to dance right now, thanks.”

  Denny kept pushing. “All right. How about later?”

  “Hey, Denny,” Curran snapped at him. “Do you see me standing here?”

  Denny’s attention cut from Curran to me. “Oh, sorry. Youz together?”

  “No. She’s with my brother.”

  “Which one?”

  “Killian, dickless.”

  I buried my face in my hands. “So I can’t dance with her?” Denny asked.

  “No, you fat bastard. Get the hell out of here!”

  I dropped my hand away in time to see Denny move on to Brielle Montefusco. “Worthless bastard,” Curran muttered.

  I sighed. “Curran, you know Killian and I aren’t together anymore.”

  Curran scratched the sides of his freshly buzzed blond hair. “No. But you should be.” He reached for my hand when I averted my gaze. “Come on, let’s go talk outside.”

  He led me out to the rear deck, where a small cluster of women were flirting with men smoking cigars. It wasn’t as loud out there and a few chairs had been set out.

  We sat in the opposite corner on two patio chairs, far away from the other group. A small yard stretched out below us where kids kicked a battered soccer ball between them.

  Curran adjusted his chair to face mine and leaned forward. He rolled the almost empty bottle of beer in his hands, considering his words before speaking. “You know I’m not one to butt into people’s business.”

  I looked at him.

  “Much.”

  I crossed my legs.

  He threw out a hand. “Okay. I’m a loud, nosy prick who’s only quiet when he’s kissing some leggy brunette with an ass tighter than two rubber balls Gorilla Glued together—ignore that last part—anyway, yeah, I’m buttin’ in here. You happy now?”

  I shouldn’t have laughed, but I couldn’t help myself. My smile held even after my giggles subsided.

  His grin faded. “He misses you, Sofe.”

  The humor dissolved along my features. I angled my chin away. I didn’t want to say what I did, but it came out anyway. “I miss him, too.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  I played with my hands. As much as I liked Curran, he wasn’t my sister. She was the only one I could ever talk to. And lately, I could barely say two words to her. “Sometimes things are more complicated than what you see on the surface.”

  “If that’s the case, Kill’s all sorts of fucked up.”

  The seriousness in his tone made me face him. Curran’s blue eyes dulled as he continued. “I’m not trying to mess with you, or say shit that’s not true, but Kill’s gone downhill in every way possible. He barely says anything to anyone. He doesn’t work out—hell, he doesn’t work at all. Wren and Finn have been keeping the gym going on their own.”

  Despite all the headaches, Killian lived and breathed his business. It was a part of him. “He’s not going to the gym?” I asked almost silently.

  “No,” Curran said. “Wren’s about two seconds from throat-punching him with how much shit she and Finn have had to do to keep it running. But as pissed as she is, she’s worried. We all are. Kill’s been holed up at his house since we came back from Vegas.”

  “Alone?” I regretted it as soon as I asked. But Killian and I had shared a great deal of intimacy. As much as it hurt to know he pitied me, and that his feelings likely stemmed from remorse, I knew he’d enjoyed our time in bed. Would he let that aspect of his life end because I wasn’t there to provide it? I wasn’t so sure.

  Curran cocked his head to the side. He knew what I was asking. “He hasn’t been with anyone since you, Sofe. That I’m sure of. Even in Vegas when girls were flashing their ti—their breasts—Kill blew them off to get hammered. Finnie spent most of our time there taking care of him while Kill puked in the bathroom.”

  “Finn’s been taking care of him?”

  Curran met my stare. “Yeah. I guess things have changed, huh?”

  I took a few breaths to hold back my tears. Hearing how roles had switched between the brothers hit me hard. “I don’t understand why he’s acting this way. Killian’s responsible…this isn’t like him.”

  “No. It’s not. But this is how he’s been since you left.”

  I shook my head. “Curran, you can’t put this on me. Killian had everything going for him, even before I came back into his life.”

  “Maybe. But those things don’t seem to matter to him anymore.” He leaned back in his chair. “He almost skipped out on Vegas. If it weren’t for the promoters threatening to sue him for breach of contract, he wouldn’t have shown. We’re thinking he’s going to take off. Just fucking leave.”

  I glanced down to the worn floorboards, my mind wandering to all those barbecues, family dinners, and christenings we’d attended—and all the time we’d spent building his business and his brand. Killian had everything here. Why would he leave any of it behind?

  “He wouldn’t do that,” I assured him. “His family and his business are everything to him.”

  Curran shook his head, his expression leaden with sadness. “Not everything, Sofe.”

  Chapter 27

  I was slow dancing with Curran later in the evening when I noticed Teo rocking Mattie, trying to soothe him. Evie reached for him when he wouldn’t stop crying. Teo put his arm around her and led them outside. “I’d better go,” I told Curran.

  Curran cut his eyes toward the exit. “Now?”

  I motioned in the direction my family had disappeared. “Mattie’s not feeling well. I can’t let Evie leave by herself.”

  He kissed my cheek. “All right. If Kill shows, I’ll tell him you had to split.”

  My spine stiffened. “What?”

  He shrugged. “I texted him to let him know that you were here. But that was a while ago. He’s probably not coming—look, don’t worry about it,” he added when I gaped at him. “Just think about what I said, okay?”

  “I’ll try,” I said reluctantly.

  Curran meant well. But I wasn’t sure how I would’ve reacted had Killian shown. Except now that I knew what Curran had done, I was disappointed that Killian hadn’t bothered to come. I supposed he was trying to move on. Regardless of what Curran said.

  I snagged my purse from the table where I’d left it and rushed outside. I found Evie in the backseat of her Range Rover nursing Mattie. He seemed to be settling now that he was somewhere quieter.

  Mateo searched through the diaper bag, swearing. “It’s not here, babe. And it’s not in the bathroom or anywhere else I looked.”

  “The Tylenol?” I asked.

  Evie shook her head, her face distraught. “No. The ibuprofen. It’s too soon to give him Tylenol.” She stroked Mattie’s hair. His eyelids were drooping and he was almost asleep. “I must have dropped it when I changed him earlier.” She glanced up at Teo. “Sweetie, we should go. He’s all right for now, but he’s tired and not feeling well.”

  Teo tossed the diaper bag on the floor of the SUV. “Do you think he can wait another twenty minutes? The party’s still got two more hours. I just need to talk to Ant and Big Chris to see if they can supervise the cleaning and lockup. They’re out getting more beer.”

  “Can’t you call them?” Evie asked.

  He huffed. “No. The servers here mostly speak Spanish. I want to make it clear to my boys and this crew how I want things handled. I don’t want any screw-ups after I leave—we’re responsible for this place whether we’re here or not.”

  “I know, Teo. But I don’t think Mattie can wait that long.” Evie sighed, glancing down again at their baby. “In the time it takes Ant and Big Chris to get back, I can have him home and in his crib. Why don’t you stay and take care of business? I’ll head back by myself.”

  �
��I’ll go with her, Teo,” I offered.

  Teo squared his jaw as he stared at his wife and child. “I don’t know, Ev. It’s late. This isn’t the best area.”

  “Babe, it’s a party for your workers. You should be here.”

  Teo waited a few beats before angling his body inside and cradling his arm around her. “I don’t like this.”

  “I know you don’t,” she said. “But I’m worried about Mattie, and I know you are, too.”

  He considered her a moment longer, but it was clear he wasn’t happy with his decision. “I’ll only stay until Ant and Big Chris get back. You go right home, you feel me?” He kissed her when she nodded and then carefully lifted Mattie from her arms.

  Mattie began whimpering the moment he left Evie’s lap. The planes of Teo’s face hardened as he placed him in his car seat. Teo stroked his son’s little cheek, his expression split with worry and remorse while Evie adjusted her dress and climbed into the front.

  Mattie’s whimpers increased. “Teo. I have to get him home,” Evie said. “He’s miserable.”

  Teo nodded reluctantly and shut the back door. Like me, he could probably hear the anxiety building in Evie’s voice. I hurried to climb into the passenger side. Evie cranked the engine and lowered the window when Teo neared. “Call me when you get there,” he said. “I should be right behind you, but if I’m not, I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I will.” Evie gave him a quick kiss, then closed the window and pulled out of the lot.

  We hadn’t quite gone four blocks when Mattie let out a horrible screech that made us jump. I whipped my head back while she kept driving. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Mattie kept shrieking, holding his right ear. “Is he all right?”

  The little guy sobbed louder. “I think he’s in pain.”

  “Shit. He’s not going to make it home like this.”

  I looked around, pointing when I saw a drugstore. “There, pull in. I’ll run in and get him some ibuprofen.” By now, Mattie was screaming for Evie. Poor baby just wanted his mama.

  The tires squealed as Evie cut a hard left. I leapt out of the SUV and hauled ass, but my steps slowed as I caught sight of a small group of young men loitering outside the front door.

  I didn’t like the way they glanced my way, but Mattie’s agonized cries from the Range Rover made me push forward.

  I hurried through the aisles and snagged the bottle of ibuprofen. As I waited for the lone clerk to finish with the customer in front of me, I peered through the storefront windows, hoping the men had left.

  There didn’t seem to be anyone standing outside. I paid cash and shoved the change deep into my purse, not bothering to fold the bills or return them to my wallet. Mattie needed his medicine and Evie and I needed to get him out of this neighborhood.

  Evie glanced up from the backseat, where she was tending to Mattie. The poor little guy hadn’t stopped crying and there was nothing she could do to soothe him. She stretched her arm between the seats and unlocked the passenger door when I reached for the handle.

  I was pulling the door open when a hand grabbed my hair and another wrenched my arm brutally behind me.

  In an instant, I realized what was happening and knew we were in danger. I tried kicking the door shut as I was hauled backward. But another man appeared. His large body blocked it from shutting and he climbed inside.

  Evie screamed.

  But I couldn’t help her.

  I was slammed chest-first against the side of the car. A body pressed firmly against mine. “Where you goin’, pretty lady?” a deep voice whispered against my ear.

  Fear should have paralyzed and weakened me. Terror should have gripped my throat. Chills should have raked down my back.

  I should have succumbed like I’d done all my life. Instead something clicked.

  I didn’t scream.

  I didn’t cower.

  I reacted.

  Just like Killian had taught me.

  My heel crashed down into my captor’s instep and the back of my fist whipped into his throat as I spun. He was bigger, and meaner, and stronger than the young man who’d raped me. But he went down like a detonated building when my foot slammed into his knee.

  I didn’t stop. I nailed him with multiple kicks to the groin.

  A male’s voice grunted hard behind me. Evie yelled, “Get the fuck away from my baby!”

  Another grunt. And another. I didn’t know what Evie was doing, but at that moment, I couldn’t turn to look.

  The large man on the ground tried to snatch my ankle. I kicked hard, shattering his nose. My first strike and my last were mere seconds apart. And I made each of them count.

  Something hard connected with my face. I thought I heard Teo’s booming voice and Evie speaking quickly as I whirled. Pain reverberated in my skull, and everything was happening too fast.

  I didn’t see but rather sensed someone else coming after me. I dipped my body low as the man attacking me swung his fist. He missed me, but I nailed him in the jaw with an elbow. This man was smaller than the other two. He must have been on something—or I hit him just right. Whatever it was, he crashed onto the asphalt. I landed on top of him, punching him in the face and head until my arms grew too weak and my knuckles were slick with sweat and blood.

  I rushed to my feet, my hands up, my adrenaline pumping as I scanned our surroundings. The two men I’d taken on were bleeding and on the ground. The first, the big guy, trailed his hand behind his back when something clicked beside me. Evie stepped forward with a Glock 17 aimed at his head. “Don’t try it,” she warned.

  Her voice and her hands were surprisingly steady. She wouldn’t hesitate to blow his face off. The big guy realized as much and froze.

  The blood was still pumping in my ears when Philly’s finest arrived, including Curran and his cop buddies from the party. The flashing lights of squad cars and unmarked vehicles cut into the night and across the desolate lot.

  My body remained vigilant, prepared to lash out and protect us from the men lying across the asphalt. I wasn’t sure how many police officers arrived. An army seemed to appear all at once. They were all needed when Teo arrived immediately behind them.

  The engine of his SUV roared as he accelerated over a sidewalk and around the patrol cars. He leapt out and jetted forward, completely out of his mind with rage.

  Just like Killian, who shot out of the passenger side, his eyes fixed on mine.

  —

  The medic swiped antiseptic over the shredded skin of my knuckles. I tried to keep still, but the adrenaline continuing to pump through me made it hard to remain steady.

  I felt the burn as the medic cleaned my damaged skin, and the throbbing pain of my bruises. My chest, the side of my face, my shoulders, and even my feet screamed from what I’d put them through. I couldn’t remember how I’d hurt each part—everything had happened so quickly. But I didn’t care much about my injuries. My focus bounced from Killian to Evie, Mattie, and Teo.

  I thought for sure Killian and Teo would kill the men who attacked us. A few of the cops hauled them back as the men were cuffed and dragged away. A third man was found behind the store, disoriented and gushing blood from his mouth and nose. Evie had repeatedly struck him in the face and head with a giant wrench Teo had left in her SUV. The guy had been the one who’d climbed in—to jack her car or possibly more. I didn’t want to think about what could have happened to her or Mattie. I just thanked God that she’d stopped him and protected her son.

  In the time I’d fought the other two men, Evie had forced her assailant out of her car, called Mateo using the Bluetooth, and reached for the Glock that Teo made her carry in her glove compartment. Thankfully, she’d stashed her gun permit in her purse and was able to present it to the police.

  My brother held Mattie in one arm and Evie tucked against him in the other as she finished giving her statement. Now that everything was over, the gamut of her emotions released in the form of tears that soaked her cheeks.

>   Teo was so angry for the threat against his pregnant wife and baby, I could barely look at him. So instead I thanked the medic as he finished taping my hands and returned my attention to Killian.

  The steady pump of adrenaline seemed to fade the longer I took him in. I guess my body, like my heart, realized that rush of strength was no longer needed. Killian was here. He’d protect me.

  Did he know he was my rock and my hero from the first moment we met? My archangel who’d never allow anything to happen to me? I blinked back tears. It was too late to tell him now, wasn’t it?

  I released a shuddering breath. Jesus, how would I live my life without him?

  Curran spoke to him by his car. Killian caught me watching and met my gaze. He said something I couldn’t hear, but that made Curran turn my way. Curran nodded once and walked off as Killian prowled toward me.

  I crossed the lot, meeting him halfway. I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my distance. But I wanted to see him then—to feel him near me one last time, no matter how badly it hurt.

  He stopped a few feet in front of me, saying nothing and barely breathing. Well, that made two of us.

  The goatee he’d always kept short and carefully trimmed had stretched out into a beard. Between this more rugged look and the menace crawling across his features, those he passed gave him plenty of space. His presence invoked fear in everyone else. To me, he stirred something entirely different.

  God, I’d missed him.

  “Hi,” I said quietly.

  “You okay?” His dark blue eyes scanned my face when I nodded. “You don’t look okay.”

  My fingers trailed over the bruises swelling my cheek and temple. “I’m sore, but I’ll be fine.”

  A long moment passed before he reached his hand out and carefully lifted my chin. “I didn’t get how much it bothered you when I got banged up in the ring.” He huffed. “Now I do.”

  The warmth from his hand and the care he used almost made me cry. “I’m okay,” I assured him, again. My father had messed me up worse in the past, but Killian already knew that, and he didn’t need reminding then.

  “Were you at the party?” I asked when he said nothing more.