by Wendy Silk
“Well, actually, yeah. Want to?” We both knew we were kidding, though. It was time to get back to reality.
“Maybe later?”
Cici grabbed my ass as we stepped out of her apartment into the bright sunshine. “Sign me up.”
By the time we’d sorted out that my place was down on Spring Road, just past the convenience store, we were already there. As she’d said, there weren’t that many long distance drives around here unless you got on the interstate. And once you did that, what would be the point of turning around and coming back?
“Listen, let me give you a can of pepper spray. I have an extra. I buy it for dogs on construction sites, but that won’t be too much different from the guys you meet at your job, will it?” I didn’t want her to think I was trying too hard to take care of her, but she was impossible to resist. She needed a little taking care of. She nodded, so I gestured with a nod that she should follow me.
“Check it out,” Cici said as we walked up to my apartment door. “You’re on the ground floor. You know women never rent these units if we can help it, right? Too much chance of getting the place broken into.”
“Yeah, and it means I get to hear all the glass shattering when somebody comes through the parking lot breaking into cars. But seriously, I don’t mind. I feel lucky to have a place, and I know it doesn’t have to be permanent.” I knocked on the scratched door, sure that I’d catch Aaron at home. Which was a damn good thing, since he’d made off with my keys last night at the same time that he took my truck.
I was right. He came stumbling to the door and opened it, blinking in the bright light. “Hey, man. I wondered where you got to last night.” Then he saw Cici. “Oh. I guess that explains a lot. Huh.” Just when I was wondering if he was going to say something that would require me to intervene, he stopped talking.
“Aaron, I was about to tell you to shut up, but seriously, you have the attention span of a gnat. Cici, this is Aaron. You sort of met him last night.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I remember. I’m actually glad to get to meet you so I can thank you in person for going over to get Billy.”
“You’re, um, welcome.” Aaron looked down at his dirty white socks in embarrassment. I hadn’t ever seen him look flustered by a woman before. It was fun to watch.
Then my gaze took in the rest of the living room. We’d stepped all the way in and closed the door behind us. My own eyebrows lifted until they were just about at the level of the ceiling. The room had a particular smell to it, and it was only as my eyes adjusted to the low lighting that I discovered what was causing it.
There were bags and bags of pot. Everywhere.
They were stacked on the battered wooden coffee table in zip bags. They were lined up on the tiny kitchen counter that faced our living room, along with a plastic cooking scale that I remembered buying once in a fit of trying to learn to cook. There was a roll of masking tape and a permanent pen laid out next to the scale.
“Aaron, what the hell is going on here? I’m not against a good smoke now and then; you know I don’t care. But what is this? Are you dealing?” I looked around the room, doing a double take when I got to the scale. I knew Aaron never cooked. I could feel my face set into a mask of anger. “Seriously, don’t try to tell me you’re not dealing this stuff. What in the world are you thinking? Shit, where did you get the cash to buy all this?”
Aaron had the grace to look away; he couldn’t quite meet my eyes. “Well, I sold a couple of things, you know…”
“You don’t have anything worth selling. Does that mean you sold my things?” Then it dawned on me, far too slowly. “You sold the tools, didn’t you? You moron, how do you think we are we going to get any jobs now?”
Cici was backing away a little, moving toward the door. She looked uncomfortable, and even a little scared about how ugly this scene might get.
Aaron looked guiltily at me, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just to try to raise some cash. I know some guys, that’s all. You said yourself last night that we were going to have a hard time making our bills if we didn’t get the contract for those porch remodels.”
“I said we’d have some cash flow problems. Yeah, I said that. But selling our tools was not the answer. Do you know how much trouble this shit can get you into? It’s not worth it. It’s not easy money, not like you think it is.” I was getting tense. “I’ve been there. You knew my stepfather.”
Cici cleared her throat and spoke hesitantly. “Sorry, guys, I feel like I’m getting in the middle of something here. I need to go.” She moved toward me and kissed me on the cheek. “Tim, I’ll see you later, huh?” Her bright eyes shone at me, reminding me of what we’d found together. That was real, even if everything else looked like it was falling apart right now.
She turned, quietly closed the door behind her, and then she was gone.
I drew a long breath. I was going to have to sort out every single one of these dumbass decisions made by my friend and business partner. Looked like it was going to be a hell of a day.
If I’d known what the day would bring, and how long it would be before I held Cici in my arms again, I never would have let her go.
Chapter 5: Cici
“Kelly, can you pass me that plate? Thanks!” I welcomed my roommate to her shift at work by asking for help, as we always did with each other. A simple ‘hello’ was wasted breath when we were busy. She tied her apron on over her denim shorts and winked at me.
“I heard you had somebody over last night, huh?” She had time to chat, even if I didn’t.
“Can’t tell you right now. Talk later.” I moved away from her at top speed, resolving that today I wasn’t going to break a single dish. Her question made me smile, though. I’d been in a euphoric mood all afternoon. It was true that I was a little sore in places that weren’t usually tender, but it had all been more than worth it. Getting together with somebody on a whim like that wasn’t my style. I’d never done it before, in fact. But I was starting to think that fate had steered me right where I needed to be. Was that too cheesy?
I wore my look of satisfaction all evening. I kept trying to smooth my face into a normal expression, but each time I thought I’d succeeded, somebody new would tease me about how happy I looked. I knew Kelly was dying to hear the story. Most of the other women were only interested in cawing at me about how they could tell I’d finally gotten laid.
Billy even got into the act, passing by me as he checked my tables. He smirked knowingly. “So I guess you met somebody last night, huh? I didn’t think you had enough energy to go out after work, but you must have hit up the right place if you ran into somebody you liked.” When I realized that he hadn’t connected the dots enough to see that it was Tim from the parking lot last night, I let it lie. It was better if nobody knew about that, so they wouldn’t make a big deal about it when he came in to the restaurant tonight. I was excited to see him, but I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of him when my workmates teased me mercilessly, as they were sure to do.
It would be better for us to take it easy as a new couple. We’d play it cool, maybe pretend we hadn’t seen each other since closing time last night. I’d act surprised that he’d come in two nights in a row. No, wait, that seemed unnecessary. We had so many regulars that I sometimes thought half the bar was here every night. Didn’t those men have homes? Or wives or children?
I turned to Kelly, who was at my left hand, typing in her orders. “Listen, do you think the men who come in here have families at home? What are they all looking for in here?”
“Cici, what planet have you been on? Of course they all have families. They’ve got wives or girlfriends, or maybe even both. Lots of them have kids, too. They’re here every night so they can cheat on them. Duh. They’re looking for hot waitresses who will blow them in the parking lot. Didn’t we just talk about this last night?” She glanced up at me, taking her eyes off her ticket for a millisecond. “Wait, are you wondering about whether guys can be
faithful? You’re thinking of whoever you had over last night, aren’t you?”
“Well, maybe a little,” I murmured. “Just curious about what motivates guys to come into a place like this.”
“Ok, I’d say it’s time to put the thinking cap down and just walk away from it,” Kelly said. “You had a good time last night, and that’s great. Good for you. But no, I can tell you that guys don’t have it in them to be faithful to one woman. That’s what you’re really after, isn’t it? Any guy who would set foot in a place like this is just bad news, plain and simple.”
I didn’t know how to answer her. It was getting late, and I had to admit to myself that it wasn’t a good sign that Tim hadn’t shown his face in here yet.
Kelly looked more sympathetic, frowning at me slightly as she bundled her tickets into her apron. “Cici, we’ll talk more about it after work, I promise. I still want to hear all about what happened last night. I don’t know who you met, but if you met him here, it might…” She slowed down for a moment, then finished quietly, “...well, it might not work out.”
“I know, you don’t have to say any more. I know you’re right!” I tried to brush it off with an easy laugh, but she wasn’t fooled. It was almost closing time, and he was nowhere in sight. I’d started the night thinking I was going to turn my life around. No longer would I be alone, the only person I knew who had no living family. I’d already begun fantasizing about the grand love that Tim and I were going to have together. It would be amazing. We’d fall more in love each day. We’d be soulmates. It really had been that perfect last night. I could feel it in my bones. We were made for each other.
Except the reality was that he wasn’t coming.
By closing time, my mood had shifted to one of silent despair. My emotions earlier had run so high, like a teenager in her first crush. Well, newsflash, I was kind of an idiot. Now all I could feel was down in the dumps, boxed in by the facts. It didn’t matter what cotton candy pink perfection was in my head about how we were going to live happily ever after together. What mattered was that he’d said he would come, and he hadn’t.
It was busy all night, and by the end of my shift, nobody had the energy to razz me about the obvious change in my state of mind. I knew that Kelly was well aware of what had happened, but she didn’t say a word. She was that kind of friend. She wasn’t going to ask, not even about the good parts. There was no need to poke a wound like that; it had happened to us all at some point. We would just let it go.
I pretended successfully for weeks that it didn’t bother me a bit. That first week was the hardest. I kept checking the door to see if he was coming in, just in case he hadn’t been able to make it the first night, but he’d still show up another time. What if he was one of the guys that had a wife or girlfriend already? No, I’d seen his tiny apartment. There was nobody living there but two bachelor guys; that was painfully obvious.
By the end of a week, nobody at work even remembered that there was one day that I’d come in looking like my life was about to get better. Only Billy even noticed that I wasn’t looking my best.
Two weeks after my night with Tim, Billy stopped me as I was leaving at the end of my shift. “Cici, you’re not looking so hot.”
“Well, thanks, same to you,” I replied. I mustered up a grin at him. “You know I’m just tired, that’s all. It was a long day, but a good one. Made some good money.”
He watched me closely. “I hope you’re taking care of those savings, girl. I know that you and Kelly have a dream to open your own place someday.”
“Well, kind of,” I answered. “Not a restaurant. That would take way more capital that we could ever raise. We’ve got our sights set on a little catering company. We could really do that, I think. We could make a success of it.”
Billy stacked some menus and looked fiercely at me over the top of the pile. “Just don’t go and go anything stupid, kiddo. Don’t give your money to a man to ‘hold,’ you know? Don’t bail anybody out or let anybody sidetrack you from your dream. I’m not kidding, I’ll never forgive you if you don’t make this happen. You two are my favorites.”
I found myself beaming a real smile back at him. It was my first one all night. “You got it, boss. When we make it big, we’ll cater something fancy for you and Colin. Right?”
He growled at me, but his eyes were smiling. “Right.”
A few more weeks went by, and the inevitably warmer arrived. Summer in Texas is nothing to mess with. If the heat doesn’t get to you, the humidity will. Kelly started leaving our windows open at home, even though she knew it made me nervous.
“What if somebody drives up with a giant ladder and sets it up against the building, with nobody noticing? Then they’ll break in and attack us in the middle of the night. You’ll be sorry then.” I was partly joking, but I was putting into words a real concern that was nagging at me.
Kelly was on the floor, putting her shoes on to go to work. She started to throw one of her high heels at me, but reconsidered. Instead, she reached around behind her and found an old sneaker. Her aim was good and it got me right in the shin, although I was across the room from her, sitting on the couch.
“Cici, you worry about the dumbest things. Here’s what should be on your mind, not this insane scenario in which we get kidnapped from our beds just because this apartment has crappy air conditioning. No, that’s not at the top of my list. Sweetie, don’t take this the wrong way. But maybe you should take a look in the mirror and think about laying off the carbs if you want to keep getting the best tips. Just saying.”
I made a face at her, but I knew she was right. “Yeah, I know. I guess I’ve been eating my feelings.”
“No big deal. I know how it goes. But if we can put enough away in the bank, we can leave all this behind soon. I mean, really soon. I’d say that we could rent that commercial kitchen space we toured and start taking orders in a month or so. What do you think?”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this! I’ve been thinking the same thing. I have to tell you about all the ideas I have. I’ve been daydreaming about so many great menu items, and the way we could present our price list, and some ideas about cute little tastings for people planning a big event.” I wound up in a rush, out of breath. I did have a lot of ideas. Coming up with them was never my weak area. The hard part was bringing them into reality.
Kelly nodded. “I have a ton of ideas, too. Let’s have an official business meeting about it, first thing tomorrow morning. So, you know, nobody bring home any guys tonight.” She saw me wince, and was instantly apologetic. “Sorry, I really just meant that about me.”
“It’s ok,” I sighed. “It was my own fault. You’ve been nice enough not to mention it up until now. What can I say? I just got excited about not being alone, that’s all it was. It’s a letdown when something doesn’t work out, even if it was probably never going to anyway.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes at me. She didn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t bothering me anymore. “Cici, did you try to contact him? It’s not like you to get involved with somebody for a one-night stand. If you thought it was something with potential, then maybe it really was.” She stood up, brushed her clothes off, and grabbed her keys from the hook by the door. “Think about it. If you know how to contact him, give it a try. There’s nothing to lose but a little pride, and there’s a lot more to gain if it works out.” She waved at me and stepped outside, closing the door silently behind her.
Her optimism had filled me with a new energy. Maybe she was right. I’d been slouching around, feeling sorry for myself. What if there was a good reason that he hadn’t come in to see me at work? Maybe he had come, and Billy hadn’t let him in the bar after all. That thought had never crossed my mind before.
Without stopping to think about whether it was a good idea, I decided to act. I ran a brush through my long hair and took the time to put on some mascara. Peering into the mirror, I had to admit that Kelly was right. I was looking puffy. Damn it. Well, there was
nothing I could do about that right now. Instead, I rode the crest of my newfound resolution to find Tim and straight out ask him if he wanted to get together again.
I didn’t have his phone number, but I certainly knew where he lived. I remembered the way, no problem. Those first few days, after we’d slept together, and then he’d ghosted me, I had fantasized about dropping in on him. I’d resisted the urge, knowing that it was just as likely to be a humiliating nightmare as a fun, spontaneous surprise. Then, when he stayed gone, I had been thankful for my willpower in not swinging by his house. I felt like I was back in high school.
When I turned my little car into the parking lot of his apartment complex on Spring Road, I felt a pang of nervousness in my belly, but I forced myself to keep going. I remembered which unit it was. I’d mentioned to him that I’d never move into a ground floor apartment for safety reasons. Why did guys get to feel safer than women? It wasn’t fair.
It had been weeks since I slept with Tim, but I could recall everything about that night and the next day as if it had just happened. I could almost feel his strong hands running up and down my body, gently teasing my nipples and cupping my ass to draw me against him. The memory made me shiver with desire. We’d been so great together. Even if he hadn’t wanted to get into a sweet and sappy relationship with me, you’d think he would have come back to the bar just to try to hit it again.
When I got to the door of the apartment, it was partly ajar. That made me nervous; nobody in their right mind would leave their possessions open to the neighborhood in this part of town. As I raised my hand to knock, however, a tall, cheerful woman pushed the door open, almost running into me. She was wearing white painting overalls that did nothing to hide her curvy figure, and she had a blue bandana tied across her cropped hair.