“Not boring at all. Reliable. That’s a good quality. Some men could take lessons in that, to be sure.” She slightly scowls when she says that.
“Agreed. I’ve met a few. Believe me. Not that all spontaneous men are jerks. My brother being one who never plans much, unless you count planning how to put out a forest fire. Otherwise, he’s a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants guy all the way.” I chuckle a little thinking of Caleb and his carpe diem style of living.
“So, he’s a firefighter?”
“Yep. All the ladies love him. Can’t blame them. He’s fun, full of life, and has a great heart.”
“Are you two close?” She’s staring into my eyes as she asks.
“We are. We don’t get enough time together with his fire service and us living so far apart, but yeah. He’s my best friend in the world, really.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“How about you? You have any brothers or sisters back in Hill Country Texas?” I’m trying to picture her in Texas and I get this image of her up on a horse with her brown hair flying behind her in the wind.
“I’m an only child. My Mama and Daddy are smitten with me. Thankfully I don’t think they spoiled me too badly. I left Hill Country where I grew up as soon as I graduated with my bachelor’s from Baylor. I needed some place with more room for growth in my career. I didn’t want to spend my years chronicling other people’s sweet happily ever after. Besides, I wanted to spread my wings. I’m not known for settling into a rut.”
“So, I’m a planner and you are a woman of adventure.” She giggles and sits back with a satisfied smile.
Katrina looks out the window again and says, “I hadn’t even dreamed how the opportunity to travel extensively would explode right after I moved to L.A. Now I only come back to my apartment every few months. Sometimes I’m here a week or two; other times it’s more like a few months. But, somehow, even after two years, L.A. doesn’t feel like home.”
I agree. “It’s not home to me either. But it’s home for now, you know?”
“Yes. I do. I feel a little nomadic. There’s no telling if or where I’ll put down permanent roots.”
“Well, we’re both young. No need to plan out the thirty-year plan – not on a day at the beach with the perfect weather and amazing company, right?” And she is the best company I’ve had in a long time.
She grins at me, her brown eyes full of warmth and playfulness. “This from the mouth of the planner. I like it. No need to look past this day for now.” I find myself contrasting her to Vanessa. If I have a type, Katrina is most certainly it.
We walk out onto The Strand from Shutters and rent bikes from Spokes ‘N Stuff. We ride on the beachfront sidewalk toward Venice, the city just south of Santa Monica. Venice is an eclectic place which was built to emulate the city of Venice in Italy. There are actually canals running between homes there. The sand is just to our right and houses line the sidewalk to the left. When we get to Venice, we park the bikes.
Katrina steps up next to me. I feel like holding her hand, but I’m not sure what she would do in response, so I head over to watch some people bodybuilding on the beach, while others play beach volleyball behind them. This really isn’t like me. I never spontaneously feel like kissing a woman or holding her hand. Katrina has impacted me differently since the moment we met.
A roller skater swerves around us, playing music on his speakers. Katrina smiles. “This is the consummate place to people watch, don’t you think?”
“It is. Where else would you see all this? Either New York, New Orleans, or L.A., right?”
She points to a guy doing a handstand on his skateboard. “I wish I had brought my camera. But, it’s probably good I have a break from it.”
“Can you use the one on your iPhone instead?”
“Yes, and it’s good; I just always want more than it offers. But, I’ll make do, of course.” I can tell how much capturing life through a lens means to her. She snaps some shots of the bodybuilders. They put on an appropriate show, flexing for her.
She turns and puts her head near mine and says, “Selfie!” I smile and she snaps a shot of the two of us. Then she says, “Goofy faces!” and she crosses her eyes while I stick out my tongue. We laugh and when she pulls away, I’m acutely aware of the absence of her touch where her shoulder had been up against mine. Katrina makes me feel light in places that have been heavy for way too long.
After we have had our fill of taking in the various characters near The Strand, we walk out toward the water’s edge. Katrina spontaneously takes off her sandals and runs towards the waves. “Come on!” she shouts. I follow her lead and join her. We run in and out creating a game where we try to get in as far as we can without the wave lapping over our feet. We invariably lose and end up with the bottom third of our legs soaked – including part of Katrina’s pants. One wave comes in faster and bigger than we expected, and Katrina turns to run. She bumps me and we collapse on the sand together as I break her fall. She’s lying on top of me now looking simultaneously adorable and embarrassed.
“Oh, my goodness. Jack! Sorry!” She scrambles off me. I wanted to hold her there and I have to get a grip on myself for thinking it. I don’t want to overstep whatever she thinks this is. I’m starting to realize I have feelings for Katrina. Of course I do. She has been on the back burner of my mind since I met her. Dancing with her last night was the highlight of my month – maybe my year. Anyway, I don’t want to frighten her with any rush of emotion, so I play off the whole fall, get up, and brush myself off.
“Let’s head up away from the waves and let your pants legs dry off.”
Katrina sits down and I join her. She starts mindlessly picking up shells and stacking them in a little pile. “So, are you excited about your trip to England?” I ask. “How long will you be there?”
“Yes. I’m looking forward to it. Since it’s a travel piece, I get some sweet accommodations and I will eat well, all the glam. Nothing like Africa. Though I’d probably take Africa over England any day.” I picture her traveling around with her camera interacting with all sorts of people.
“Do you have trips planned out after that?”
“I have some bids in for some jobs. A few feelers out there. I really need to visit my parents. It’s been a while since I’ve been back.” She doodles in the sand with her finger as she talks, and I find myself mesmerized by her gentle movements. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have brought up visiting my parents with what you are going through.”
“It’s totally okay. I love hearing about your relationship with your parents. Honestly, the grief has been excruciating since Mom passed. I can’t really put words to it. I don’t really talk about it with anyone. My closest friend here, Brett, is a great guy, but not really high on the food chain when it comes to empathy and feelings. My dad passed years ago, so Mom was alone. She moved into a smaller home – the one I just cleared out. Her passing just feels way more intense and final, you know?” She looks up at me with compassion. I want to pull her in toward me.
She reaches out her hand and puts it on mine. “I can’t imagine. I’m glad you are talking about it now. Those kinds of feelings fester if we hold them in too long. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but definitely support is a big key to moving through.”
“Thank you.” She hasn’t lifted her hand, and I almost want to hold my breath so I don’t do anything to make her remove it. Then she asks, “Are you happy here in L.A.?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy. I’m working at a coveted position in a firm doing management analysis. I like what I do, but I can’t say I love my workplace or my job. Everything just seems flat. Maybe that’s the grief talking. I don’t know. For the first time in my life I feel like I don’t have my five-year plan firmed up and laid out before me. To say that’s unsettling is an understatement.” I stare out at the ocean. Saying all of this out loud cements something in me.
She searches my eyes. “What would you do if you could ha
ve guarantees it would work out? Like if you could be sure there were no risk, all gain? I know that’s not how it works. I started my own business. I know the gamble. But say there were no chances of failing, what would you do next?”
I don’t hesitate. “Hands down, I’d walk into Joel’s office one morning and tell him I’m leaving for good. Joel’s my horrible boss. I’d hand him my two-weeks like I was serving up a five-course meal. Then I would bide my time and hit the road. Maybe I’d finally fulfill my dream of opening a coffee shop …” Wow. How did she pull all that out of me with just one question?
“That’s amazing! What’s holding you back? You’re young. You have time to lose and regain your losses if you fall down. What’s keeping you from pursuing this dream?” She’s talking with her hands again and her face is animated.
“I don’t know. I think things like, what if I jump ship only to find out I can’t swim? Plus, I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to up and risk something as big as this. Risky things are my brother’s specialty. He lives for the next rush of excitement in life. I’m the one you can set a clock by. Predictable and dependable. But where has that gotten me so far? I’m in a job I don’t love with a boss from hell and a life that seems like it’s stuck on endless repeat.” I sigh.
The buoyancy I felt seems to have evaporated. “There I go playing up my attractive qualities again.”
She giggles. “Jack, you don’t have to play up your attractive qualities. They pretty much speak for themselves.” She slaps a hand over her mouth, and I do everything in my power not to pick her up and kiss her right then and there. Where did this woman come from? I’ve been in an endless loop of dates with women who weren’t even close to a fit for me. Katrina is like the freshest breeze off the ocean. I can’t get enough of her.
“Seriously, though. Your coffee shop is a great idea. I mean, I know starting a business is risky. I did it. I don’t have four walls and utilities, but I do employ an assistant and I have tons of expenses and a fluctuating income. It’s never predictable, but it’s not dull and I get to do what I love every day. Jack, that’s what life is for!”
I’m in shock. Besides my mom, no one has ever been that encouraging of me and what I really wanted in life. Even mom guided me to play it safe more often than not. Here’s this amazing woman sitting beside me on the beach, seemingly unaware of her own captivating beauty, pouring out words to affirm my decision to take a risk. She has no idea the impact she is having on me.
As though to put a seal on this idea, Katrina looks over at me and simply says, “Kiss the corporate world goodbye. It isn’t doing you any favors and you aren’t getting any younger.”
The only thing I want to kiss right then are Katrina’s beautiful, soft, inviting lips.
* * *
Pizza at Bruno’s did not disappoint. Katrina loved it, and I loved watching her enjoy our meal together. We left the pizza place to get our tickets and stand in line for the Ferris wheel. This day has been nothing short of perfection and my feelings for Katrina are obviously well over the line of friendship. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about any other woman in my life. As we stand waiting for our turn to board the ride, Katrina lazily leans on me. I tilt in a little closer and breathe in the smell of her hair. It is something like honey or vanilla, warm, yet light, just like her. I want to freeze this moment, but the man working the ride asks us to step forward and get in. The sun is just starting to drop at the horizon. It’s the perfect time to be up over everything taking in a view of the whole coastline and the ocean.
The wheel goes around several rotations and then, as if God were on my side, it stops when we are at the top. You would think I had tipped the barker running the ride to get this opportunity, and I’m not going to waste it. Either Katrina feels what I do, or I’m way off. There’s only one way to find out, and the guy who carefully plans everything seems to have left my body. In his place is a man who knows what he wants and is going to get it.
I lean over to Katrina, not giving either of us much time to think, and I move my lips to hers. She tastes like Italian spices and something luscious beyond that. I don’t stop. She isn’t stopping me either. She’s letting me kiss her. I take the kiss deeper as I feel her desire match mine. Our lips linger together as we culminate this day of intimacy and connection. This kiss isn’t just a kiss. There really aren’t words. I don’t want it to end, but then the wheel jerks and we are moving again. I slowly sit back with a smile on my face. She’s smiling too, a satisfied smile that says more to me than she knows.
Something else flits across her expression just then. Something unsettled and distant. I’m relatively sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the moment we just shared on top of that Ferris wheel. Just to be sure, though, I’m going to ask her. “You okay?”
chapter seven
Katrina
My lips fall from Jack’s. I just kissed Jack Anders. Well, technically, he kissed me, and he’s got the sweetest smirk on his face like the cat who ate the canary, only I’m the canary. Oh darn. No men. Well, this is technically a first date. Actually, it isn’t a date. It’s a friend thing. Only that kiss wasn’t a friendly kiss. It wasn’t unfriendly. No. That was smoldering hot. If a friend kissed me like that …
Anyway, I didn’t say no kissing. I just said no men. I said the line was at three dates. I’m off to Europe tomorrow. He’s staying here doing his thing. This isn’t going further. But, what if I want it to? Jack is so thoughtful. And that kiss … no. No. No men. There’s a reason for that mantra. But, I may as well enjoy a day separated from reality. And I’m going to make the most of it. I’m definitely kissing Jack Anders again before this night is over. Every diet deserves a healthy cheat day. That’s what this will be. My cheat day.
The word cheat brings up images of Thomas at that café getting all cozy with the other woman - climbing up her like Spiderman on his favorite brick wall. Ugh. Thomas has no business barging into my mental space during this blissful day. Out with you, Thomas. You may have ruined my hope for a good man, but you aren’t going to ruin my fun escape day at the beach with a man like Jack Anders.
The Ferris wheel jolts forward. I feel Jack slip his fingers between mine as we quietly overlook the ocean from our bench on the ride. He asked if I am okay. “Yes. I’m very okay. Thank you.” There’s that warm smile of his. I am acutely aware that this moment is fleeting. I’m holding onto every bit of it. “This day together has been more than I expected, really. You were so thoughtful, planning out. each detail.” I sigh as I look out at orange and yellow hues of the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean.
“It was my pleasure. Truly. Best day I’ve had in a long time.”
This day swept me away. Jack’s easy to be with, and a lot of fun. He’s not hard on the eyes, either. Not at all. Seeing him in his shorts, and the way his T-shirt hugs his chest and biceps has had my heart all fluttery. But more than his looks, he has been so attentive. Sometimes I caught him just staring at me. It should have unnerved me, but it didn’t. He has such a caring way of being with me that I feel safe and appreciated.
As we get off the Ferris wheel to walk back to our cars, I reach over and slip my hand into Jack’s. I know I said no dating, and I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I just know I want to touch Jack right now and I don’t want to end this day. We head to the car with a wordless feeling of ease between us. I think it’s a combination of the sun and sand and all the things we packed into this day. I feel happily drowsy and something else. Content. That’s it. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this content in my life. I barely even know this man, yet everything feels right in his presence. Every so often Jack looks over at me with a Cheshire grin on his face and I can’t help smiling back. It’s like that kiss is some secret we’re savoring together.
We get to my car. Jack holds my door open for me and I climb in. I turn the key. It won’t start. Seriously?
“Jack, did you plan this?” I blow out a breath and giggle. I honestl
y can’t believe my luck.
“Of course not. Though a little more time with you might have been worth a maniacal act on my part, but remember, I save you from car tragedies. I don’t induce them.” We wait for AAA to arrive, and it turns out I have a failed alternator. Great. The guy tells me I have to have it towed. I pick a shop near my house.
“How about I drive you home?” Jack asks. “It’s not that big of a deal if I get back to my place an hour later. I don’t want you to have to Uber from here.”
I hate to put him out, but I am stuck. “You sure?”
“Yep. I’m sure.” I grab my bag and we walk over to his car. He holds the passenger door to his car open and I step down to get in. He brushes a kiss across my forehead. Whew. Chills run straight down my spine – from a kiss on the forehead. I really am out of practice. Either that or Jack has a direct line to my nervous system. I give Jack my address and text Patrice while he drives.
Katrina: Hey, It’s me. In Santa Monica.
Patrice: You need me to call and bail you out?
Katrina: Not even close. We kissed. Well, he kissed me. But I kissed back and … wow. So, no. No bailing. Just my car died, so he’s driving me home.
Patrice: Well, woohoo! Girl! That’s awesome. About the kiss, not the car.
Katrina: Yeah. It is. … I don’t know. Men. He’s a man. Right? Anyway, I want you to pick up my car at the shop when it’s ready while I’m in Europe. I’ll pay your expenses to do it. And first cup of coffee is on me when I get back – or lunch – whatever. Can you do it?
Patrice: You sure you need a man fast? Kat this sounds pretty good. But it’s not for me to say, so I’m zipping it over here. Anyway, yes. Of course I’ll pick up your car. And no, don’t pay me, but I’ll take free coffee any day, so latte on you and we’re even.
Katrina: Definite man-fast. It resumes after tonight. I’m getting one goodnight kiss. That’s for sure. He’s pretty amazing, Patrice. But, that’s first date talk. Right? They’re all amazing on the first date.
Love's Second Chance Page 5