Katrina: First of all, I won’t ever blacklist you. Secondly, no. And by no, I mean, for sure no.
Patrice: Ok. I’ll drop it because I love you. But will you let me encourage you to extend him the opportunity to at least explain? I sure get why you ran off. I just think in time you might want to hear his side. It won’t cost you to hear him out, you know. You can still ghost him afterwards.
Katrina: Have you been talking with Mama? She said the same thing.
Patrice: Well, maybe great minds think alike.
Katrina: I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been here. It’s possible I’m just not ready for a relationship. I know I joke about the man-fast, but it’s a real thing. I don’t choose well, and I’ve been very burned. I may just need time to focus on me before putting myself out there with someone. When Jack was in the picture I moved forward. Maybe I shouldn’t have. He turned out to be as dishonest as Thomas, only in something different. Either way, I can’t trust him anymore.
Patrice: I hear you. I just think love will always include risk. We’ll never have a guarantee. When two people work at something, they bring their whole self into the bargain. You will never find perfect, Kat. You don’t have to be perfect either. A good relationship makes room for imperfections and in the process both people grow and heal. If Jack weren’t trying so hard to reach you, I’d say drop him like a piece of molten lava. But he’s being persistent. You are going to have to decide if what Jack did is unforgivable or not, and I don’t think you can decide that until you hear him out.
Katrina: Well, you give me food for thought, as always. I love you, friend.
Patrice: I love you too. Now go enjoy your family and call me when you get home, k?
Katrina: k. See you when I’m back in L.A.
The smell of pie comes floating out the window right then. Mama’s pie. That’s pretty much the solution to most of the world’s problems. I’m tired of thinking about what happened in Montana and what could have been with Jack. It’s too complicated and I don’t think I should be the one to solve it. I wasn’t the one who hid a major and important fact in our relationship. He has been calling and texting. I haven’t been answering because I’m not ready.
Mama steps out onto the porch. She quietly sits down beside me and puts her arm around me. I lean my head on her shoulder and let more tears fall. She doesn’t ask me anything. We simply sit there in silence.
I got the gold standard when it came to moms. She’s the best. Some people would talk me out of my tears or try to fix me. Instead, she just loves me through. I muddle through this grief and confusion and she gives me her presence as an anchor. There aren’t words to say how much her care fills my soul.
“Mama, I’m wondering if I should give Jack a chance to tell me what happened from his perspective.”
“Well, honey, that’s somethin’ you’ll have to figure out. I can’t be the one to tell you. Though, I will say, it’s not entirely fair to shut a door without all the facts.”
“You’re right, as always.”
“I’m not trying to be right, sweetheart. I’m just sharing what I know. Y’all aren’t in an easy situation. I don’t even know if there is a right or wrong here. You’re making it through the best you can.”
“I just don’t feel strong enough to resist him. With Thomas I turned and left the relationship without a look back over my shoulder. But, Mama, Jack isn’t Thomas.” That thought brings tears to my eyes – tears I promised myself I wouldn’t cry anymore. But how can I not cry when I fell in love and lost the man I thought could be the one?
“I know you’ll know. Don’t overwork it. In time you are going to see a clear path. If that’s not for today, let it rest. Now, how about some pie? I made Texas Trash from the Royers’ family recipe. And I got Blue Bell ice cream to go with it.” That’s my mama too. Always knows how pie can fix what’s broken. And Royers Texas Trash … man, I have missed home.
“Yeah, Mama. Let’s have some pie.”
That night while I’m putting on my pjs in my childhood bedroom, my phone rings. Jack is calling. I stare at his name while the phone taunts me with ring after ring. Finally, his call goes to voice mail. I decide to listen.
Jack: Katrina. I know I’ve now officially reached stalker status. I just want you to know I really would appreciate a chance to talk to you sometime. If you would do me that honor, I’d be grateful. I sure understand it if you won’t. I’m just telling you I’m not going anywhere, and I’d like the opportunity to explain. What I did was wrong, but there were reasons. It might look worse than it is. Either way, it’s killing me to lose you. Maybe I should be less dramatic, so I don’t scare you off. Thing is, I already scared you off, so from the way I see it, I’ve got nothing to lose. It’s breaking me to know I hurt you. While I’m at it, I want to tell you that you are my always Katrina. I never met a woman who captured my heart like you have. When we’re together I’m bolder and I feel like life is full – complete. When you are gone, I’m a shell of a man. That’s my way of saying I miss you. Montana’s an awfully empty state without you in it.
I play that message back five times, maybe six … okay, more than ten. As I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling I think about what Patrice and Mama said about giving Jack a chance. He’s asking for it. Sweetly, really. I make his life complete. That’s pretty overwhelming. I just don’t know.
I’m going back to L.A. in a few days. I’m going to face the music then. I’ll decide whether to give Jack a chance to talk to me. He probably deserves at least that. It doesn’t look like he’s giving up anytime soon. I left Montana in a rush. I honestly didn’t give him a chance to explain.
I’m a jumble of emotions. Raw like someone took a cheese grater to my heart. Jack’s voice has always been a soft spot for me. I melt when I hear him. Plus, I could hear the pain in the way he spoke, even though he was trying to hold it together. I don’t want to be the cause of his pain, even if it is something he brought on himself through his dishonesty.
But, as soon as I think something tender like that, it’s like a drawbridge flies shut trying to protect me from more hurt. I start to rattle off a mental list of all the things he should have done differently. I review all the ways he might have told me the truth – all the opportunities he had to say, “Hey, by the way, Katrina, I own Ferris Wheel Coffee.” Or how about the first day I walked in there? He could have answered me saying, “Actually, the reason I’m in Bozeman is I bought this place and opened a coffee shop.” Why hide? I guess I won’t ever know unless I let him tell me.
* * *
I land in L.A. and pick up my bags at the carousel. Michael honored my request of giving me some space to process and only sent a few work emails the whole time I was away, but there he is, like a faithful puppy waiting outside the baggage claim. We need to find that man a woman. He’s such a keeper. I run up and give him a big hug and we load my bags into the trunk.
As we drive off from the airport Michael glances at me. “Good to have you back, Kat. I missed your version of crazy. My life is pretty boring when I’m not full-time Kat sitting.”
“So you missed picking my used Kleenex off the floor?” I giggle.
“Not so much that, you got me there. I just missed you. You seem better. Showered. Hair combed. She’s making progress, folks. Our Kat is coming back from the living dead.”
“Well, don’t get too excited. I’m not anywhere near over the pain that man caused me. I will be though. That’s what I know. I’ll get through this. It was good to be home, though.”
“By the way, Jack texted me again. He was here, you know?”
“He was here? In L.A.? What for? He texted you?” My heart starts racing.
“Yeah. You know, I probably get one text for every hundred he sends you. He’s not going to get over you anytime soon. He came to see you. Said he wants to make things right.”
“What! Michael! What? He came here for me? Michael, why didn’t you start our conversation with this tidbit? Oh, m
y goodness! He came to L.A.! You are telling me he flew here to see me? Michael! He wants this badly enough to fly here? You know what this means? I have to see him. I have to give him the chance I never gave him. At least I have to go there and hear him tell me what he has to say to my face, right? Oh my gosh, Michael! He came here. That’s honestly the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. Do you think I’m crazy? You’ll tell me if I’m crazy, right?”
“Kat you are officially crazy. But going to see him? No. that’s the first sane thought you had since you dragged me away from my TV set at the inn to grab a red-eye in Wyoming. It’s obvious to me you two were made for one another. I’m no love doctor, but anyone with eyes can see what you two have. I know he blew it. You were right to be hurt, and I even would go so far as to say you might have been right to pack up and leave. Our last shoots were not very critical, and they could be rescheduled. But since then, you’ve been in self-induced misery. So, yeah. In answer to your question, you’d be pretty crazy not to at least give him a call.”
I can’t help but swat his arm, but I’m smiling. Ear to ear. Jack came to see me.
“Thanks. At this point, I’m beyond calling, though. After all, the man flew across the country to make this right. I can at least return the favor. I have to see him.” I feel like I just lost twenty pounds. I’m lighter, buoyant … even hopeful. Jack Anders flew to L.A. to pursue me. Whatever kept him from telling me about the shop doesn’t matter in the bigger picture. He wasn’t stringing me along. I know his heart. I know it because he’s mine. He is one of the good ones after all.
I call Mindy right away. She gets so sweetly excited and says I can stay in the second bedroom at her place when I fly in. We’ve only known each other for two months, but she has been a fast and faithful friend. After talking with her, I text Patrice.
Katrina: Jack came here. To L.A. He came to find me when I was in Texas. He texted Michael saying he was here to make it right.
Patrice: Girl! What did I tell you? Hallmark movie of your life. What are you going to do?
Katrina: My life would be more suited for a horror movie, not a romance, but I’m going to Montana. I need to see him in person. He came here – for me, Patrice. I’m still mad that he hid the truth, but I’ve been thinking about my part too. I never gave him the chance to explain himself. I just took off. This grand gesture changes everything.
Patrice: Yes! Not saying I told you so, but … you know I did ;) Seriously, though, I’m so happy for you, Kat. This is meant to be. You and Him – I just know it.
* * *
On the plane I have plenty of time to think about where Jack and I went wrong. I run through every reason he would have withheld his move and owning Ferris Wheel from me. Then it dawns on me. Ferris Wheel. He named the shop after me – after our day together in Santa Monica, and that kiss!
Jack wasn’t planning on hiding the shop from me. Something else kept him from telling me, but he wasn’t trying to block me out of his life. If he were, he wouldn’t have named the shop after our budding relationship.
Whatever the reason, he came for me. He’s trying to make this right and I’m going to let him. I owe him that after running off. Being betrayed by Thomas made me gun shy. Sometimes emotions and pain scream so loudly reason doesn’t have a chance to chime in. I realize what happened when I saw Jack playing guitar at Ferris Wheel. His deception echoed against my fear and I acted without pausing to breathe.
As I watch the clouds under the wing from my view out the plane window, something clicks into place inside me. Jack isn’t Thomas. I’ve never seen that as clearly as I do right now. My heart belongs to Jack – it always will.
I can barely stand the length of my flight. I had to get one with a layover on such short notice, and every minute feels like an hour. I haven’t texted or called Jack. I’m not trying to make him suffer needlessly. I just want our first contact to be in person after all the crossed wires and misunderstandings we’ve endured.
The plane lands at 1:45 p.m. in the Bozeman airport. I grab my bags from the little baggage claim area and catch an Uber outside at the curb. I’m not interested in going to Mindy’s right now. I have to get to the café. I could probably outrun the car I’m riding in with all the adrenaline pumping through me.
The driver drops me off on Main street and I walk into Ferris Wheel Coffee holding my overnight bag and purse. It’s after the lunch rush. I look ahead of myself and see Jack standing alone behind the counter while only a few customers are sitting around at tables.
All of a sudden, it’s as though time slows. He lifts his head and sees me. Our eyes lock and I watch a cautious grin work its way across his face.
I move towards the counter without taking my eyes from Jack’s. A slow smile of recognition crosses his face as I say, “Excuse me, sir, I’d like to have a mocha that tastes like a Girl Scout cookie. Do you have anything like that here?” Jack drops his towel and literally hurdles over the half-door by the end of the counter. Before I know what’s happening, he lifts me up by my waist and spins me around. He sets me down, still holding me by the waist. Our eyes haven’t broken connection once. He has the most stunned look on his face and his eyes glisten just a little.
Simultaneously we both rush to say, “I’m so sorry!” our words colliding in an effort to rebuild what has been broken between us. I nervously giggle and smile as I say, “Go ahead, Jack.”
Jack continues to hold onto my waist as though if he let go, I might disappear again. His words rush out. “Katrina. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me? I meant to tell you. I never wanted to deceive you. I waited too long. We had that rift, and then I wanted us to solidify before I dropped big news on you. I honestly wanted to find the right time. I should have made the time. This whole thing – the shop, my move – it was all inspired by you.”
“I’m sorry too, Jack. I should have given you the chance to explain. I was so confused and hurt. But I know. I know. I figured it out. That’s why you named it Ferris Wheel.” I look into his eyes, trying to convey without words that I’m his and nothing will take me away from him again.
Jack smiles a smile that reaches the corners of his eyes. “Yes, because meeting you, spending that day, those were turning points for me. Not any of this would have happened without your encouragement. You were my inspiration.”
“But, that name, Ferris Wheel. That was our first kiss. You named your place after our kiss?”
“That was a life-altering kiss, if you ask me.”
“Hmmm … I think I remember. I’m not sure. My memory of that kiss seems a bit foggy.” I tilt my head and look up at him through my lashes.
“Well, there’s only one way to solve that problem.” He pulls me nearer so that his forehead is resting on mine.
“How’s that, Jack?” I’m looking in his eyes, my heart racing, and my breath coming more quickly.
He barely breathes out, “I’ll have to refresh your memory.”
And with that, he closes the distance between our mouths, giving me a kiss I won’t possibly forget. It has all the freshness and passion of our first kiss, all the hope and promise of the kisses in between. But in this kiss, he’s saying something else. It’s like he’s claiming me and letting me know this kiss is the first kiss of many to come.
As a matter of fact, if I have anything to say about it, Jack Anders won’t ever be kissing another woman for the rest of his life. He holds me close and we let our lips communicate the intensity and surprise that has been a part of our relationship from the very first day we laid eyes on one another. I soften my mouth, showing him I am his and I have no intention of letting him go.
He pulls back and I’m left breathing a little heavily. My voice is husky with emotion as I smile and say, “Oh, yes. I think I remember now. That was quite a kiss. I’d name a shop after it too.”
Epilogue: Katrina
“Do y’all think he’s down there yet?” I’m asking Patrice and Mindy for at least the fifth time this morning.
“Girl, even if he is, you aren’t allowed to see him.” Patrice gives me a motherly look to soothe me.
“We didn’t start our relationship traditionally, so why am I going to follow tradition now. I just want to see Jack. He calms me when I’m all fluttery like this.” I clasp my hands to quell my nerves. The makeup artist keeps working on my eyes. Patrice leans in from the other side and hugs me as she softly assures me, “Girl, you’re his and he’s yours. No more near misses.” She knows just what to say.
As she stands, she says, “Give it just a few more minutes.”
Across the room, Mindy smiles at me with genuine kindness. “Kat, you know he’s here. You are his everything.” She tells me how honored she is to be in the wedding. I’m so glad I asked her to be a bridesmaid. We have been friends less than a year, but she and I grew close quickly and it feels like I’ve known her forever. Since I moved to Bozeman over ten months ago, she’s become an even bigger part of my life.
“Mindy, I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t help Jack understand what I saw and how I felt.” I sigh remembering how we almost lost one another.
“Kat, today isn’t a day to reminisce about the hurdles you jumped to get where you are.” Mindy smiles one of her calming smiles at me. “Today we celebrate your love for each other, and we look toward the future you will build together.” She walks over. The makeup artist pauses while I give Mindy a careful hug so I don’t mess up either of our faces or hair.
I look between Patrice and Mindy. “I’m so grateful you two have been able to meet one another in person. You are my two closest friends and I wouldn’t choose any other women to stand by my side today.”
Patrice smiles. “You know nothing could keep me from being here. Now, let’s get you downstairs.”
Patrice arranges my dress and helps me walk down the big wooden staircase at the Gallat-Inn. Mindy follows right behind her. These are the same stairs I bolted down in a mad dash to get out of Montana. They’re also the same stairs I walked down to meet Jack for our dates. We decided on this simple venue because my time here helped us solidify what we are today.
Love's Second Chance Page 16