by Lynda Stacey
She drove into town and past the gym, where she saw the commotion of reporters that were all camped outside. Some sat in their cars, others had stepladders, long range cameras and looked as though they were ready to camp for the week. Once again the circus that seemed to constantly surround Rick Greaves had begun.
Ella paused for a moment and then turned the car around. She didn’t need to see the commotion, nor did she want to be a part of it so she decided to drive the extra few miles into Scarborough. For once she’d go to the shops there, even though the parking wasn’t as easy.
It was still before lunch. The shopping had been done and Ella drove her car past the Sea Life Centre, where she parked. She wound the window down and breathed in deeply. The sea smelt refreshing and, using just one of her crutches for stability, she climbed out of the car and took a seat on a bench to admire the view. There hadn’t been many days since the attack that she’d done this; she could count on one hand how many times she’d allowed herself to be totally alone with nature and even though she still felt nervous of everyone and everything, she knew that moving forward and taking little steps was the right thing to do. After all, hadn’t it only been that morning that Will had kissed her and hadn’t he promised that he’d call in to see her again after work today? A smile crossed her lips and an expectant shiver ran down her spine.
Would he kiss her again?
Half of her hoped that he would, but the other half still needed an answer to the obvious questions: where had he been with Josh the night before? Had they been out clubbing with friends and were those friends of the female variety? Sarah had obviously been with them, so that just left Will. Had he been out with another woman? But then, Sarah had been at work, so they couldn’t have been in a club, could they? Not knowing really bothered her and she wondered if she was reading more into Will’s outing and the kiss than there actually was.
A dog barking made her jump and she realised that her thoughts had turned into dreams; she’d been so relaxed that she’d actually fallen asleep on the bench where she sat. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, and it took her a moment or two to become conscious of how cold the sea breeze had become.
Climbing back into the car, she threw the crutch into the front seat and drove back out of Scarborough and towards her home. But as she drove closer to home her reporter’s curiosity overtook her. There were two ways she could go; one way would pass the gym and the crowd of reporters, and the other way would completely avoid them. Her thoughts went into overdrive; there was something about this story that didn’t add up, just like her accident and the two wives that had died so suspiciously before she’d been beaten. The spiralling thoughts got the better of her and she found herself not only driving down the same road as the gym, but parking close to the crowd of reporters that still stood outside.
It wasn’t the first time she’d parked and watched the gym. She used to do it before she met Rick Greaves, before the disastrous date that had left her for dead and before her whole life had changed. Back then she’d been one of the reporters too. Back then she’d been hungry for the story, adamant that there was one and convinced that Rick Greaves had been guilty of murder. Now, everything was different. Now she hoped she’d see something that would prove he’d hurt her, see something that would prove he’d killed his wives, and ultimately lead to the reasons why Michelle was now dead too. All she needed was one tiny clue that she could use against him, bring him back to court and see him sent to prison for what he’d done to both her and them.
She tried to stay outwardly calm, but felt anxious on the inside. She knew that he’d been questioned. But that didn’t mean he was still with the police. He could have already been released, which would mean he was either already inside the building, or that at any minute he could drive past, pull his car up near to hers and walk right past her.
Her stomach turned and Ella physically shrank in the car seat. Only her eyes glanced out over the edge of the door and she watched the reporters, who all stood, laughing and joking. All of them wanted that perfect story and the perfect picture to go with it, but at the end of the day, they were all there to do a job and ultimately it was easier for them to be friendly than to act as rivals or enemies. Ella remembered the comradeship that she used to feel. She’d actually loved being a part of the group. She’d always felt the safety in numbers. And even though some had kept the bigger stories for themselves, most of the time the smaller stories were shared.
She wanted to hate them. They’d hounded her, but she missed them. She missed the adrenalin of finding a new angle on a story and she really missed the thrill of seeing a photograph that she’d taken, along with her words, on the front page of the Filey Chronicle.
She sighed. Should she have gone back to work sooner? Had she allowed the accident to cloud her judgement? Were the reporters really as bad as she’d thought? Or like her, had they just been doing their job and searching for the perfect story?
Had she made it worse for herself by hiding away, by not giving them the story? And by doing so, had she created her own crazy circus?
Ella crouched down further in her seat and closed her eyes for just a few moments, enjoying the sun as it came in through the car window. Her mobile buzzed, and she opened her eyes to glance down at the phone.
A message from Sarah.
Hey hun. Bad news. Scumbag’s been released. Thought you’d want to know xx
Even though she expected his release, the anger once again tore through her. Another woman he’d been associated with had died and, once again, it had nothing to do with him. She shook her head, slammed her hands onto the steering wheel and took in a deep breath. Looking across at the crowd of reporters she saw one or two look at their phones, followed by an excitement that sped through them. They too must have heard the news that Rick Greaves had been released and Ella could see that they were gearing up, getting ready in case he turned up at the gym.
Ella looked back down at her mobile. She needed to do something positive. She needed to get herself back to work. The only way she could make a difference was by being there, by getting in the middle of it all and by writing the story in her own words. And like it or not, she needed the backup of the other reporters. She searched through her phone, found her editor’s number and dialled.
‘Alan, it’s Ella, Ella Hope. How’s it going?’ She paused, waiting for him to reply.
‘Hey, Ella. I’m good. How are you doing?’ He sounded genuinely happy to hear her voice, but then the paper had been covering her sick pay for months and she guessed that he’d rather be paying her to work than to sit at home.
‘Well, I kind of thought I’d like to come back to work. If that’s okay?’
‘Well, that’s the last thing I expected you to say, but, do you know what, Ella? Times are hard. We’ve got around twenty stories to cover and only ten reporters to do the work. And now, we have a big one. That girl on the top road, the hit-and-run and no one to cover it.’ Alan suddenly seemed to realise what he’d said. ‘Not that I’d ask you to cover that story, obviously, I’d send you on something else.’
Ella smiled and looked across to where all the reporters gathered. She could see Daisy, the reporter from the Filey Chronicle standing outside the gym with her camera in hand.
‘So, what do you say, can I take my desk back, you know, part-time to start with?’ Again she smiled as Alan rushed in.
‘That’d be great, Ella. You’d be really helping me out. I’m having a bit of a nightmare, to be honest, and your desk is still empty, none of the others want to sit at it.’ He laughed. ‘I guess everyone knew you’d be coming back. So, when are you starting?’
‘How about tomorrow, first thing in the morning?’
‘Ella, that’d be great. I’ll even go and buy you a new mug for your coffee. You know, by way of celebration.’
Ella laughed. But something caught her eye. It was Will; he was wearing his sweats and he walked out of the front door of the gym, bag over his sho
ulder and heading towards the car park. Inquisitively, Ella leaned forward and watched where he went. She saw his car, parked to one side of the building, hidden from where the reporters stood.
‘Oh you sneaky thing, what are you doing in there?’ she whispered. She knew that Will went to a gym. It was more than obvious; she’d felt his muscles. They were firm, sculptured and perfectly proportioned. But she didn’t know that he worked out here. He knew her history and she wondered why he hadn’t mentioned that it was this gym that he went to.
‘What?’ Alan was still on the phone. ‘Who you talking to, Ella?’
‘Sorry, Alan, talking to myself. I’ll see you in the morning and thank you.’ She looked back to where Daisy now stood, leaning against a wall with a man standing in front of her. She looked closer. The man looked familiar and she felt herself laugh out loud. ‘What are you doing here?’ she whispered as Josh turned and then bent down to pick up a camera. Her mouth dropped open; it wasn’t often that anything shocked her, but the sight of Josh with the reporters did. It explained everything. Josh was a reporter, and Will … well … Will was his boss.
Chapter Twenty-Four
‘I saw him, Sarah. He was there. Josh was there too, he was obviously one of the reporters and, by deduction, Will is Josh’s boss, which makes him a reporter too, but you already knew that, didn’t you?’ She paused and watched as her friend began to squirm. Ella picked up her coffee. ‘Am I right?’
Sarah sat on the floor. For once she was on the other side of the questioning and she didn’t look too happy. Her uniform had now been changed for tracksuit bottoms and a sloppy T-shirt, her hair was loose and hung around her shoulders and she gripped a coffee mug and allowed Millie to jump all over her legs, while fussing her with her spare hand.
‘Ella, I thought we were going to be decorating the kitchen. I came all dressed for it.’ She pointed down at her clothes, obviously trying to avoid the question.
‘Sarah. Come on, tell me the truth. You’ve known all along that he’s a reporter, haven’t you?’ Ella watched Sarah fidget. She looked everywhere in the room, except at where Ella sat. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Ella, okay, look.’ She lifted her hand up from tickling Millie and shrugged. ‘I promised him that I wouldn’t. Besides, since you’re a reporter too, it’s all a little irrelevant, isn’t it?’ Sarah tried to look smug and Ella wished she’d kept the information about taking her old job back to herself.
‘Wait a minute, what do you mean you promised him? Why would you do that? You’re supposed to be my friend, not his. How long have you known?’
‘I’ve kind of always known … as you say, he’s Josh’s boss. You know that I’ve been seeing Josh and, well, we’ve been getting a little close. So we’ve kind of bumped into Will once or twice, seen him around, you know what I mean?’ She recounted the story of going back to the office, falling through the door and Will throwing her out, demanding that Josh put her in a taxi.
‘And you didn’t think I’d want to know any of this?’ Ella tried to hide her emotions. She didn’t know whether to be angry or amused; she could just imagine how Sarah would have reacted, or how embarrassed and annoyed she’d have been when Will had caught them.
Sarah stood up from the floor, sat on one of the chairs and pulled her knees up under her chin. ‘Oh, Ella, for God’s sake, you’ve got eyes. You’re supposed to be a reporter. In fact, you’re the best reporter I know. I honestly thought you’d have worked it out. They hardly hid it and you overheard what I said that morning, you know, about the girl getting killed on the top road. I didn’t know you were back at work, so I rang Josh to tip him off. Thought it’d be a good exclusive for him and he got to the scene before everyone else. He rang Will, who arrived around ten minutes later. It didn’t occur to me that you didn’t know, not until I asked Will where he and Josh had disappeared to … you know, right before Millie disappeared. Will’s face was a picture, he almost crawled under the settee and it was only then that I realised that you didn’t know.’
‘And yet you still didn’t tell me, because …?’ Ella pushed her tongue into her cheek; she was enjoying watching Sarah squirm as she tried to wriggle her way out of giving the answers. It was more than obvious that she preferred to be the one asking the questions, rather than the one answering them.
‘Oh, come on, Ella. You know I would have. But Millie disappeared, everything went mad and we both ran over to the farm looking for her.’ She paused and thought. ‘I did challenge him about it though and he said that he’d tried to tell you on a number of occasions, but then you’d come out with the “I hate reporters” campaign and he didn’t know what to do. As far as I’m aware, hun, he’s been working overtime to try and put Rick Greaves away. He’s even paid to be a member of his gym. Only way he could get close while trying to gain some information there and, what’s more, he was the first reporter at Rick Greaves’ house yesterday morning.’ Sarah smiled at Ella. ‘He’s trying to prove to you that reporters can be good people too. Give him a chance.’
Ella looked shocked and put her coffee mug down. ‘Are you sure he’s doing all of that for me? Why would he?’ She knew that Will must care; the kisses hadn’t lied, nor had the constant texts full of promises and affection that had been sent since.
Sarah nodded, held out her hand and grabbed hold of Ella’s. ‘He really cares about you, babes. Please don’t let him know that you worked it out. He will tell you, it might just take him a while.’
Ella shook her head and began to laugh. ‘Okay, you’re off the hook. I won’t tell him. Besides, it’s been fun watching you squirm and I might just enjoy watching him squirm too.’ She threw a paintbrush at Sarah. ‘Come on, we have a kitchen to paint. New cooker comes at the weekend and Will’s promised to take the old one to the skip. Which means that we have to get that and the other burnt stuff outside and ready to go.’
Sarah walked into the kitchen, sighed and looked at Ella’s hockey stick that had hung above the cooker. ‘Can it be repaired?’
Ella shook her head. ‘Nah, it’s time to get rid of it.’ She reached up and lifted the stick from the wall. ‘Don’t know why I kept it so long anyhow.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ella brushed her hair and at the same time managed to fuss Millie who sat beside her on the bed.
‘Grandma Carol is coming to let you out later. I’m sure she’ll play with you for a bit and give you some food.’ Ella looked down at the puppy, who was lying back with her legs akimbo, her eyes closed and waiting for Ella to tickle her belly. Ella had no doubt that the words had gone completely over her head, but continued talking anyhow. ‘I’m going to work today, baby dog. Something you’ll have to get used to, but do you know what?’ Ella tickled Millie’s ears. ‘Just think of all the doggy biscuits I’ll be able to buy you when I get some real wages. No one can live forever on sick pay, can they?’
Ella stood up, tied her hair up in a messy bun and checked her appearance in the mirror. She’d thought she’d have felt more nervous than she did. She thought that by now the anxiety would have kicked in and she actually began to feel guilty for feeling so calm. Would the nerves kick in later? She hoped not, the last thing she’d want to do was make a fool of herself, especially in front of the other reporters. She hopped down the stairs and into the kitchen where she perched on a chair to take the pressure off her foot. Maybe she’d made a mistake. Maybe it was too soon to go back to work. She could walk short distances now, but still needed the crutches to go any distance. She pulled on a tubular bandage, thick socks and high ankle boots to give her more support.
A tap on the window sent Millie yapping towards the door, right up until the point where she recognised Will and the yap turned into a high pitched and excited yowl.
‘Hey, how are you?’ Will asked and Ella watched as he looked her up and down before moving towards her, pulling her into his arms and dropping a soft tender kiss on her lips. ‘Wow, you look nice. Did you miss me?’ he asked, still looki
ng puzzled. It was more than obvious that he hadn’t expected her to be all suited and booted and the look of surprise on his face made Ella smile.
‘Yeah, I guess I missed you.’ She held two fingers together indicating a really small amount. ‘This much, but don’t get big headed, cause I have to go out.’
Will’s arms encircled her. ‘Hey, not so fast. I wanted to talk to you. I’ve something to tell you.’
Ella knew that Sarah had given him the ultimatum the week before and that, once again, Will was probably going to try and tell her about his job.
‘Can it wait, hun? I’ve really got to rush.’
Will looked disappointed. He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and nodded. ‘No worries. Can you keep tonight free for me?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘I really need to talk to you about something. All will be explained later, okay?’ He kissed her on the end of her nose, making her wrinkle it up. He was teasing her and she liked it. She also knew that she could tease him back and intended to do so, right after she’d done her first day at work.
‘Right,’ she suddenly said, jumping up from the stool. ‘I have to go out, you know, people to see, things to do.’ She was purposely being evasive and knew that he’d be wondering why. But then again, he’d been evasive for long enough about being a reporter. Come to think of it, he’d never once spoken of his job, of his day at work or about any of his colleagues. Which kind of meant that he’d been secretive rather than lying about it.
Will followed her to the door. ‘Where did you say you were going?’
Ella smiled and bent down to stroke Millie one more time. ‘I didn’t.’ She grabbed at her crutch, held the key up in the air and pushed him out of the door. ‘See you later.’ She followed him out, locked the door, hobbled down the path and jumped into her car. ‘Oh, and can you cook tonight? I don’t seem to have a cooker,’ she shouted before she blew him a kiss and waved.
I don’t want to get up. I’m lying here, in my bed, wishing I could lie here all day. My mind rotates continuously; a million thoughts fly through my mind, jumping sporadically from one thought to the next with no natural start or end. It’s like flicking through old black and white negatives projected onto a screen. It’s exhausting, and I want it to stop. It’s as though I can feel the walls closing in, every second that passes the world feels as though it’s getting smaller and smaller. I spend my days looking for ways to run, ways to escape the life I live. I try to keep busy, I try not to think of what I have done. I know that it was wrong. I know that no normal person would do this, but something deep inside me wants to do it again. I feel the need to murder and I terrify myself over who will die next, because no one is safe.