by Penny Parkes
Dan sniffed back the tears he seemed incapable of controlling, the tears that sprang unbidden to his eyes at the very thought of anything ever happening to the woman in his arms. The woman, he could now clearly see, for whom he would give up anything and everything. And not a scrap of Lycra in sight! He tried to smile at the thought, but it only set him off again.
Grace slipped off his lap and onto a different chair, holding Dan’s hand the whole time, as though she would never let it go. ‘What would I have done if you hadn’t been here? We all dismissed him as just some old perv, the local stoner, but Dan, he meant it when he threatened me—’ She sobbed and her words became strangled. ‘He really meant it.’
Time became elastic after that and Dan had no idea how long he and Grace had sat entwined, waiting for the police to arrive.
Even after Mr Jarley had been handcuffed, groggy and abusive, and driven away. Even after both their statements had been taken, there was still a feeling of time being suspended. Of an alternative path for how this evening might have ended, but for a few different choices. Grace kept rubbing at her neck, where the knife had grazed the skin as she struggled, stroking it almost hypnotically.
‘Let me take you home, Gracie,’ said Dan quietly. ‘We can clean up those bruises, get you a drink. A brandy might help with the shock.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want to go home.’ She looked at him plaintively, the tears welling unshed in her eyes, the swelling unhalted by the ice pack they’d applied as Chief Inspector Grant had sensitively quizzed her about the evening’s events. Dan could only be grateful that his own witness statement would be enough to avoid any semblance of doubt about Jarley’s drug-seeking intentions.
If Dan had anything to do with it, old man Jarley wouldn’t be free to walk the streets of Larkford again for a very long time. Rehab at this point was actually too good for him. But right now, none of that mattered. ‘Come home with me. I’ll sleep on the sofa. But you’ll have company nearby if you need me? Or,’ he said, kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner, ‘we could call Alice or Holly? In case you’d rather—’
Grace shook her head. ‘Maybe Alice could pop by, but, Dan, please don’t go. I don’t want to be – I can’t be – on my own.’ She offered him a feeble smile, so feeble in fact that it almost achieved the impossible and made her smile for real. ‘I guess there’s no point using puppy-dog eyes when I look like a hammered steak, is there?’
Dan held both her hands and looked her squarely in the eye. ‘You look beautiful, Gracie, you always do. And to be honest, just knowing that you’re okay and—’ He choked at the memory that had assailed him in those few brief seconds, the very thought of anything happening to her.
‘Hey,’ interrupted Grace, ‘I thought it was my turn to fall apart here. You’re bogarting the emotional breakdown.’
He stood up and held out a hand. ‘Well, maybe we could just skip over that bit when we tell the others; focus on your Ninja lamp-throwing skills and my sensational rescue instead?’ He was teasing her and she knew it; right now, neither of them gave two hoots what anybody else thought. They’d been there. They knew the truth of what had happened. And what were a few tears between friends anyway?
‘Do you want to call the counsellor the police recommended?’ Dan carefully avoided using the phrase ‘victim support’; he had no desire to play into any scenario where Grace considered herself a victim of anything.
‘No,’ she said simply. ‘I would like a shower though.’ She looked vaguely around Dan’s bedroom.
On the walk over, he’d almost lost his nerve. There was no way on earth that he wanted Grace to associate his home, his bedroom, his bed – goddammit – with what had happened to her today, but it seemed that Grace was craving comfort and support. He supposed he should be honoured that she considered his pokey flat met those criteria.
So, instead of all the ways he’d ever imagined Grace in his home, Dan found himself sitting on the floor outside the bathroom door while Grace took a shower with as much peace of mind as he could provide right now.
He picked up his phone again and pressed redial. ‘Chief Inspector?’ His voice was low enough to be drowned out by the running water. ‘Is he okay?’ He hadn’t dared voice his fears in front of Grace – after all, what could he possibly say? But an Army-trained punch was a punch with power and as much as he’d personally like to kill old Jarley, he’d much rather see him stand trial. Let’s see how much he enjoyed spending his twilight years in prison, rather than tormenting the population of Larkford.
Chief Inspector Grant cleared his throat before answering. ‘I won’t lie to you, Dan, and it seems to be a clear case of aggravated assault with intent to obtain prescription drugs, but—’ He hesitated. ‘Look, we’ve taken him for some X-rays, under police guard of course, but now he’s awake, he’s angry. There’s been talk of having you up for assault. Just, try not to worry, okay?’
Easier said than done, thought Dan, as he hung up the phone. Assault charges and medical licences didn’t tend to go hand in hand. He hung his head despondently and ran the scenario yet again in his mind. Had he used excessive force? Did he really care?
To save the woman he loved from being held at knifepoint, wouldn’t he do the same thing all over again?
The sound of Grace’s tears pulled him back into the moment. What’s done is done, he thought, as he tentatively tapped on the bathroom door. ‘Grace?’ he called gently. ‘Gracie?’
She pulled open the door, her hair swaddled in a towel-turban and his sweatshirt and pyjama trousers dwarfing her. She looked tiny and lost and utterly beautiful.
She stepped forward into his arms and rested her cheek against the flannel of his shirt. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I forgot to say thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he replied seriously. ‘Let’s order some pizza and take a look at that black eye, shall we?’
He stopped in the hallway, trying to feel his way through this situation – to focus more on Grace’s needs than his own. God knows, a bit of tactless Taffy therapy would be welcome at this point.
‘Do you want me to call anyone?’ he offered. ‘Holly? Alice?’ He paused and took a deep breath, trying to be the bigger person. ‘Chris Virtue?’
‘No,’ she said, with the tiniest shake of her head. She pushed the sleeves of his sweatshirt up over her tiny wrists and leaned back against the doorframe, watching him intently. ‘I only want you.’
Chapter 33
‘Jamie?’ said Alice, as she attempted to fill Grace’s coffee machine with one hand early the next morning. ‘I’m so sorry, but something’s come up. I have to cancel.’
The silence at the end of the phone was just long enough to make Alice wonder if they’d been disconnected.
‘Are you sure?’ Jamie said in the end. ‘I mean, I would understand if you were losing your nerve a little, but we need to talk to Judith as a united front. I can’t do this without you, Alice.’
Alice automatically looked down at Coco, who was watching her with inquisitive eyes, probably wondering why they were here, in Grace’s kitchen, at this ungodly hour.
‘I know. I do. And it’s not that,’ Alice protested, even though a tiny part of her brain registered that she’d been only too pleased to postpone her plans to go to the training centre this morning when Dan had asked for her help. ‘Something horrible happened at The Practice last night. An intruder. Everybody’s okay, but Dan called me to ask if I could stay with Grace until she’s feeling a little more settled. It must have been terrifying for her, Jamie. And I guess, since I had the morning off and they’ve all got patients . . .’ She was aware that she was rambling, over-embellishing what should have been a simple conversation.
‘Alice?’ Jamie said softly. ‘It’s okay. It sounds like you’re in the right place. And I’m sure that you’re the right person too – not just because you’ve got the time, but didn’t you do that trauma-counselling course? Don’t put yourself down.’ He paused and she could
hear him flicking the kettle on; she’d never met a man who liked his morning cup of tea so much. ‘Why don’t I come and take you both out for lunch? If Grace is feeling delicate, she might appreciate some company and maybe we can talk some more about Coco’s plans? Really get our ducks in a row before we face Judith?’
Alice could feel herself mentally logging out of the conversation; it didn’t seem to matter how empathetic and supportive Jamie was being about the whole thing, she simply couldn’t cope with that right now. Hell, she could barely think about it without feeling nauseous. What had seemed like the perfect solution in the park a few days ago – sensible, credible, acceptable – now felt like a leap of faith.
‘Maybe,’ she hedged. ‘Let’s just see how Grace is feeling.’
She hung up and turned her attention to the coffee, Grace padding silently into the room behind her and making her jump.
‘I hope you’re not letting that poor lad down because of me?’ She was pale and drawn and still wearing Dan’s oversized sweatshirt. Even the simple act of coming home this morning seemed to have taken it out of her. Sitting down at the kitchen table, Grace seemed to have shrunk overnight.
Alice shook her head. ‘You’re doing me a favour actually. I couldn’t quite face the fearsome Judith at the training centre today. The way she goes on and on about Coco being her Star Pupil – well, it’s a little possessive and kind of irksome. I need to be on top persuasive form to deal with her.’ She shrugged. ‘I’d much rather be drinking coffee with you.’
‘Irksome,’ smiled Grace weakly. ‘Now that’s a word you don’t hear every day. I rather like it. I may even borrow it.’ She stared at the cup of coffee that Alice placed in front of her as though she barely registered what it was.
‘Would you rather have tea?’ Alice offered. Somewhere in the back of her mind was the advice not to smother people after a trauma, hovering around them and infantilising them, but on the other hand she firmly believed that making small decisions paved the path back to making bigger ones, like getting dressed or leaving the house. But it was early days and the tremor in Grace’s fingers showed that she was still in shock.
‘I keep thinking about the noise Jarley’s head made when it hit the wall,’ said Grace instead. ‘It was kind of a thunk. Different, I suppose, to what you hear in the movies.’ She picked up the coffee and took a thoughtful sip. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if Dan hadn’t been there.’
‘But he was there, and you’re safe,’ Alice reassured her. ‘But if you want to, I’m happy to run a few alternative scenarios with you. It can really help, actually, to know that you had options that didn’t require a burly knight on a white horse.’
Grace nodded. ‘I keep wondering whether he would ever have taken no for an answer, would ever have believed that I didn’t have the bloody keys! Maybe he was just too out of it?’ Grace’s voice rose to a higher pitch than normal and Coco broke all protocol to walk over and lay her head on Grace’s lap, nuzzling at her as she sensed the distress behind those words.
There was silence for a moment, as Grace stroked the fur back from Coco’s compassionate gaze and then leaned forward to drop a kiss on her head.
‘Your Jamie is wonderful – you do know that, don’t you? I’d be so sad if you kept him at arm’s length all this time without realising that.’
Alice frowned. ‘I don’t keep him at arm’s length. We’re friends, that’s all. Kind of colleagues, when it comes to Coco. So it’s complicated.’
‘But we all have to start somewhere. And good men like Jamie Yardley don’t grow on trees, Alice. And whatever you say, you two clearly have chemistry. Don’t cloud your feelings for him with how you feel about the Coco situation, will you?’
‘It’s almost one and the same thing though, isn’t it?’ Alice responded. ‘Besides, he’s dating and I have a career. Not to mention a time-consuming and rather boring lifestyle commitment. We’re hardly love’s young dream.’
‘But this is real life, not a fairy tale. And do you know what? When I had that knife pressed to my neck, Alice, I wasn’t thinking about work, or yoga, or whether I should have skipped the mayo on my sandwich. I’ve been existing, not living, for years. All these ideas about my big fresh start? They’re just ideas. And maybe it took being terrified out of my skull to show me that, but I will tell you this, I’m not waiting for the “right time” any more – the right time has to be now, doesn’t it? Because what if now is all there is?’
Alice nodded slowly, blown away by the conviction in Grace’s words. ‘Does that mean you and Dan . . .?’
Grace nodded. ‘Maybe. Probably.’ She genuinely smiled for the first time that morning. ‘Hopefully.’
It was just a knock on the door.
That was all Alice could think, as she watched Grace’s hard-won resolve not to let these shocking events affect her shatter.
From their easy conversation over a second pot of coffee and, hang it all, a slice of cold pizza for ‘breakfast’, to a shaking, fragile Grace with eyes wide and full of fear.
Alice squeezed her hand gently. ‘I’ll answer it. You stay there with Coco.’
Grace could barely nod as her teeth chattered uncontrollably and Alice was torn as to whether she should even be leaving her side, whoever might be knocking at the door.
‘Floral delivery for Grace Allen?’ called a young woman’s voice and Alice immediately felt Grace unclench. Whoever she’d been imagining at her door clearly had a much deeper voice.
The bouquet, if such a vast arrangement could even be called that, took up most of the kitchen table. Alice passed Grace the accompanying note, but lingered beside her, ready to deal with any eventuality.
‘Well that’s nice,’ said Grace without feeling, reading the card as though it were simply a circular about bin day. She passed the note to Alice, who took a moment to decode the signature:
Darling Grace – I heard about what happened and I’m so sorry I can’t be there with you
All my love Chris xx
‘Oh,’ Alice said, seeing all too clearly that, as stunning and thoughtful as these roses undoubtedly were, they were simply from the wrong man.
‘Oh indeed,’ replied Grace, as she stood up and walked over to the window, presumably so her view included something other than half of the local florist. ‘Will you come out with me, Alice?’ she asked suddenly, turning to face her. ‘There’s something I need to do.’
For some reason, Alice had it in her head that they were going to see Chris, or Dan, or possibly even the police for an update. She certainly hadn’t expected Grace to direct them out of town and to pull up here.
‘Are you sure?’ Alice said gently. ‘It might just be a knee-jerk reaction to last night. And it’s a big commitment.’
Grace shrugged. ‘One day, some day, maybe? No, I’m not doing that any more, and I’m not going to let some angry, vile man in a dirty mac with a carving knife make me start jumping at shadows. I won’t feel unsafe in my own home, Alice. Not to mention, this is something I have always wanted. So why not today?’
Her assurance was absolute. This was clearly no whim.
Alice pushed open the car door and watched Coco tilt her head from side to side as she took in the new sounds and smells, before leaping to the ground with alacrity. Grace smiled. ‘You see. Even Coco thinks this is a good idea.’
She pushed open the main door and Alice and Coco followed her inside, allowing her to take the lead and uncertain exactly what she had in mind.
Grace simply smiled at the woman who greeted them. ‘I do hope you can help. I’m here to adopt a dog. I’m not fussy about what breed, but I’d like to feel safe in my home again and I’d love a little company.’
The lady nodded and held out her hand. ‘You’ve come to the right place then. I’m Patsy. Come and meet some of our residents.’
As Alice followed behind them, Patsy and Grace talking nineteen to the dozen about how the Dog Defence League worked, and how Grace’s life might acco
mmodate a furry friend, she quietly took in their surroundings. Coco trotted neatly at her side, almost as though, in the presence of so many unwanted dogs and puppies, she was counting her tiny canine blessings.
Grace walked straight past an Alsatian, a Vizsla and a soulful Boxer, all of whom would have made excellent guard dogs, but Alice could tell from the intent expression on her face that Grace had something very particular in mind.
Patsy stopped by a pen containing a litter of Labrador puppies, fluffy and Andrex-y and utterly adorable. Grace merely shook her head.
‘Perhaps something a little more portable then?’ Patsy suggested, as she walked over to a small Jack Russell terrier who was pressing himself tightly against the wire front to his pen in a quest to be noticed.
A sharp yap from the end of the room echoed loudly and Grace’s head turned immediately. Cutting Patsy off midsentence, she walked towards the sound, which seemed to be echoing in stereo.
As Alice watched, Grace sank to her knees in front of the end enclosure and pushed her fingers through the wire netting. The yapping stopped immediately.
Patsy turned to Alice with a look of concern on her face. ‘Would your friend be a first-time dog owner? Only dachshunds can have incredibly strong personalities. She’d need to be clear from the start about who was boss.’
Alice thought about the last twenty-four hours, about Grace’s strength in the face of adversity and her resolve to make the best of the whole fucked-up situation. ‘I don’t think that would be a problem. And we have an excellent dog trainer on hand if she needs support.’
Patsy looked a little comforted. ‘Okay then. I just didn’t want her falling in love with the idea, only to struggle with the reality. Dachshunds may be small, but they have delusions of grandeur.’
They walked over to Grace and Alice did a double-take, quite literally, as there were two perfectly formed and perfectly identical wire-haired miniature dachshunds looking up at her, their eyes like tiny mirrors to their souls. Already it seemed that Grace was the centre of their world.