“Yeah. Why?” I replied.
Too late, I realized what I was saying.
“Then you weren’t kidding about hiring me!” Brockhurst was beside himself with glee.
“Um ...”I said.
“This is great,” the Imp chortled, rubbing his hands together. “Believe me, Skeeve, you won’t regret this.”
I was regretting it already.
“Wait a minute, Brockhurst,” I interrupted desperately. “There are a few things you should know about the job.”
“Like what?”
“Well ... for one thing, the odds are bad,” I said judiciously. “We’re up against an army. That’s pretty rough fare considering how low the pay is.”
I thought I would touch a nerve with that remark about the pay. I was right.
“How low is the pay?” the Imp asked bluntly.
Now I was stuck. I didn’t have the vaguest idea how much mercenaries were normally paid.
“We ... um ... we couldn’t offer you more than one gold piece for the whole job,” I shrugged.
“Done!” Brockhurst proclaimed. “With the current state of my finances, I can’t turn down an offer like that no matter how dangerous it is.”
It occurred to me that sometime I should have Aahz give me a quick course in rates of exchange.
“Urn ... there’s one other problem,” I murmured thoughtfully.
“What’s that?”
“Well, my partner, you remember Aahz?”
The Imp nodded.
“Well, he’s out right now trying to hire a force, and he’s got the money,” I continued. “There’s a good chance that, if he’s successful, and he usually is, there won’t be enough money left to hire you.”
Brockhurst pursed his lips for a moment, and then shrugged.
“Well,” he said. “I’ll take the chance. I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. As I said, they haven’t exactly been beating my door down with job offers.”
I had run out of excuses.
“Well ... ”I smiled lamely. “As long as you’re aware ...”
“Heads up, boss,” the Imp’s murmur interrupted me. “We’ve got company.”
I’m not sure which worried me more, Brockhurst calling me “boss” or the spectre-like character who had just stepped up to our table.
FOR A MOMENT, I thought we were being confronted by skeleton. Then I looked closer and realized there really was skin stretched over the bones, though its dusty-white color made it seem very dead indeed.
The figure’s paleness was made even more corpse-like by the blue-black hooded robe that enshrouded it. It wasn’t until I noted the wrinkled face with a short, bristly white beard that I realized our visitor was actually a very old man ... very old.
He looked weak to the point of near-collapse, desperately clutching a twisted black walking staff which seemed to be the only thing keeping him erect. Still, his eyes were bright and his smile confident as he stood regarding us.
“Did I hear you boys right?” he asked in a crackling voice.
“I beg your pardon?” Brockhurst scowled at him.
The ancient figure sneered and raised his voice.
“I said, ‘Did I hear you boys right?!’” he barked. “What’s the matter? Are you deaf?”
“Um ... excuse me,” I interrupted hastily. “Before we can answer you, we have to know what you thought we said.”
The old man thought for a minute, then bobbed his head in a sudden nod.
“You know, yer right!” he cackled. “Pretty smart, young fella.”
He began to list, but caught himself before he fell.
“Thought I heard you tell Pinko here you were looking for a force to take on an army,” he pronounced, jerking a thumb at Brockhurst.
“The name’s Brockhurst, not Pinko!” the Imp snarled.
“Alright, Bratwurst,” the old man nodded. “No need to get your dander up.”
“That’s Brockhurst!”
“You heard right,” I interrupted again, hoping the old man would go away as soon as his curiosity was satisfied.
“Good!” the man declared. “Count me in! Me and Blackie haven’t been in a good fight for a long time.”
“How long is that in centuries?” Brockhurst sneered.
“Watch your mouth, Bratwurst!” the old man warned. “We may be old, but we can still teach you a thing or two about winnin’ wars.”
“Who’s Blackie?” I asked, cutting off Brockhurst’s reply.
In reply, the old man drew himself erect ... well, nearly erect, and patted his walking staff.
“This is Blackie!” he announced proudly. “The finest bow ever to come from Archiah and that takes in a lot of fine bows!”
I realized with a start that the walking staff was a bow, unstrung, with its bowstring wrapped around it. It was unlike any bow I had ever seen, lumpy and uneven, but polished to a sheen that seemed to glimmer with a life all its own.
“Wait a minute!” Brockhurst was suddenly attentive. “Did you say you come from Archiah?”
“That I did,” the old man grinned. ‘‘Ajax’s the name, fighting’s my game. Ain’t seen a war yet that could lay old Ajax low, and I’ve seen a lot of ‘em.”
“Urn ... could you excuse us for just a minute, sir?” Brockhurst smiled apologetically.
“Sure, son,” Ajax nodded. “Take your time.”
I couldn’t understand the Imp’s sudden change in attitude, but he seemed quite intense as he jerked his head at me, so I leaned close to hear what he had to say.
“Hire him, boss!” he hissed in my ear.
“What?” I gasped, not believing I had heard him right.
“I said hire him!” the Imp repeated. “I may not have much to offer you, but I can give you advice. Right now, my advice is to hire him.”
“But he’s ...”
“He’s from Archiah!” Brockhurst interrupted. “Boss, that dimension invented archery. You don’t find many genuine Archers of any age for hire. If you’ve really got a war on your hands, hire him. He could tip the balance for us.”
“If he’s that good,” I whispered back, “can we afford him?”
“One gold piece will be adequate,” Ajax smiled toothily, adding his head to our conference. “I accept your offer.”
“Excellent!” Brockhurst beamed.
“Wait a minute,” I shrieked desperately, “I have a partner that ...“
“I know, I know,” Ajax sighed, holding up a restraining hand. “I heard when you told Bratwurst here.”
“That’s Brockhurst,” the Imp growled, but he did it smiling.
“If your partner can’t find help, then we’re hired!” the old man laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a mite strange, but these are strange times.”
“You can say that again,” I muttered.
I was beginning to think I had spoken too loud in my conversation with Brockhurst.
“One thing you should know though, youngster,” Ajax murmured confidentially. “I’m bein’ followed.”
“By whom?” I asked.
“Don’t rightly know,” he admitted. “Haven’t figured it out yet. It’s the little blue fella in the corner behind me.”
I craned my neck to look at the indicated corner. It was empty.
“What fella? I mean, fellow,” I corrected myself.
Ajax whipped his head around with a speed that belied his frail appearance.
“Dang it!” he cursed. “He did it again! I’m telling you, youngster, that’s why I can’t figure what he’s after!”
‘‘Ah ... sure, Ajax,” I said soothingly. “You’ll catch him next time.”
Terrific. An Imp with no powers, and now an old archer who sees things.
My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tap on my shoulder
. I turned to find the gargoyle looming over me.
“Your order’s ready, sir,” he said through his perma-smile.
“My order?”
“Yes, if you’ll step this way.”
“There must be some mistake,” I began, “I didn’t ...”
The gargoyle was already gone, lumbering back to his counter. I considered ignoring him. Then I considered his size and countenance, and decided I should straighten out this misunderstanding out in a polite fashion.
“Excuse me,” I told my charges. “I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t worry about us, boss,” Brockhurst waved.
I wasn’t reassured.
I managed to make my way to the counter without banging my sword against anything or anyone, a feat which raised my spirits for the first time this afternoon. Thus bolstered, I approached the gargoyle.
“I ... um ... I don’t recall ordering anything,” I stated politely.
“Don’t blame you, either,” the gargoyle growled through his smile. “Beats me how anyone or anything can eat the slop they serve here.”
“But ...”
“That was just to get you away from those two,” the gargoyle shrugged. “You see, I’m shy. About asking you for a job, of course!”
I decided I would definitely have to keep my voice down in the future. My quiet conversation with Brockhurst seemed to have attracted the attention of half the Bazaar.
“Look ... um ...”
“Gus!” the gargoyle supplied.
“Yes, well, ah, Gus, I’m really not hiring ...”
“I know. Your partner is,” Gus interrupted. “But you’re here and he isn’t, so I figured I’d make our pitch to you before the second team roster is completely filled.”
“Oh!” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“The way I see it,” the gargoyle continued, “we could do you a lot of good. You’re a Klahd, aren’t you?”
‘‘I’m from Klah,” I acknowledged stiffly.
“Well, if my memory serves me correct, warfare in that dimension isn’t too far advanced, technologically.”
“We have crossbows and catapults,” I informed him. “At least, the other side does.”
“That’s what I said,” Gus agreed. “Practically primitive. To stop that force, all you need is air support and a little firepower. We can supply both, and we’ll work cheap, both of us for one gold piece.”
Now I was sure I had underestimated the market value of gold pieces. Still, the price was tempting.
“I dunno, Gus,” I said cagily. “Ajax there is supposed to be a pretty good archer.”
“Archers,” the gargoyle snorted. “I’m talking about real firepower. The kind my partner can give you.”
“Who is your partner?” I asked. “He isn’t short and blue by any chance, is he?”
“Naw,” Gus replied pointing to the far corner. “That’s the Gremlin. He came in with the archer.”
“A Gremlin?” I said, following his finger.
Sure enough, perched on a chair in the corner was a small, elfish character. Mischievous eyes danced in his soft blue face as he nodded to me in silent recognition. Reflexively, I smiled and nodded back. Apparently I owed Ajax an apology.
“I thought Gremlins didn’t exist,” I commented casually to Gus.
“A lot of folks think that,” the gargoyle agreed. “But you can see for yourself, they’re real.”
I wasn’t sure. In the split second I had taken my eyes off the Gremlin to speak with Gus, he had vanished without a trace. I was tempted to go looking for him, but Gus was talking again.
“Just a second and I’ll introduce you to my partner,” he was saying. “He’s here somewhere.”
As he spoke, the gargoyle began rummaging about his own body, feeling his armpits and peering into the wrinkles on his skin.
I watched curiously, until my attention was arrested by a small lizard which had crawled out of one of the gargoyle’s wing folds and was now regarding me fixedly from Gus’s right shoulder. It was only about three inches long, but glowed with a brilliant orange hue. There were blotchy red patterns which seemed to crawl about the lizard’s skin with a life of their own. The overall effect was startlingly beautiful.
“Is that your lizard?” I asked.
“There he is!” Gus crowed triumphantly snatching the reptile from his shoulder and cupping it in his hands. “Meet Berfert. He’s the partner I was telling you about.”
“Hello, Berfert,” I smiled, extending a finger to stroke him.
The gargoyle reacted violently, jerking the lizard back out of my reach.
“Careful, there,” he warned. “That’s a good way to lose a finger.”
“I wasn’t going to hurt him,” I explained.
“No, he was about to hurt you!” Gus countered. “Berfert’s a salamander, a walking firebomb. We get along because I’m one of the few beings around that won’t burn to a crisp when I touch him.”
“Oh,” I said with sudden understanding. “So when you said ‘firepower’ ...”
“I meant firepower,” Gus finished. “Berfert cleans ‘em out on the ground, and I work ‘em over from the air. Well, what do you say? Have we got a deal?”
“I’ll ... um ... have to talk it over with my partner,” I countered.
“Fine,” Gus beamed. “I’ll start packing.”
He was gone before I could stop him.
I sagged against the counter, wishing fervently for Aahz’s return. As if in answer to my thoughts, my mentor burst through the door, following closely by Tanda.
My greeting died in my throat when I saw his scowl. Aahz was not in a good mood.
“I thought I told you to wait outside,” he bellowed at me.
“Calm down, Aahz,” Tanda soothed. “I thought he’d be more comfortable waiting in here. Besides, there’s no reason to get upset. We’re here and he’s here. Nothing has gone wrong.”
“You haven’t been dealing with any Deveels?” Aahz asked suspiciously.
“I haven’t even talked with any,” I insisted.
“Good!” he retorted, slightly mollified. “There’s hope for you yet, kid.”
“I told you he could stay out of trouble,” Tanda smiled triumphantly. “Isn’t that right, handsome?”
Try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself to answer her.
“UM ... ARE THE mercenaries waiting outside?” I asked finally.
“You didn’t answer her question, kid,” Aahz observed, peering at me with renewed suspicion.”
“Don’t strain your neck looking for your troops, handsome,” Tanda advised me. “There aren’t any. It seems our mighty negotiator has met his match.”
“Those bandits!” Aahz exploded. “Do you have any idea what it would cost us if I had agreed to pay their bar bill as part of the contract? If that’s a non-profit group, I want to audit their books.”
My hopes for salvation sank like a rock.
“You didn’t hire them?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t,” Aahz scowled. “And that moves us back to square one. Now we’ve got to recruit a force one at a time.”
“Did you try ...” I began.
“Look, kid,” Aahz interrupted with a snarl. “I did the best I could, and I got nowhere. I’d like to see you do better.”
“He already has!” Brockhurst announced, rising from his seat. “While you were wasting time, Skeeve here has hired himself a fighting team.”
“He what?” Aahz bellowed turning on his critic. “Brockhurst! What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for orders in our upcoming campaign,” the Imp replied innocently.
“What campaign?” Aahz glowered.
“The one on Klah, of course,” Brockhurst blinked. “Haven’t you told him yet, boss?”
&
nbsp; “Boss?” Aahz roared. “Boss?”
“No need ta shout,” Ajax grumbled, turning to face the assemblage. “We hear ya plain enough.”
“Ajax!” Tanda exclaimed gleefully.
“Tanda!” the old man yelped back.
She was at him in a bound, but he smoothly interposed his bow between them.
“Easy, girl,” he laughed. “None of yer athletic greetings. I’m not as young as I used to be, ya know.”
“You old fraud!” Tanda teased. “You’ll outlive us all.” Ajax shrugged dramatically.
“That kinda depends on how good a general the youngster there is,” he commented.
“Kid,” Aahz growled through gritted teeth. “I want to talk to you! Now!”
“I know that temper!” Gus announced, emerging from the back room.
“Gus!” Aahz exclaimed.
“In the stone!” the gargoyle confirmed. ‘‘Are you in on this expedition? The boss didn’t say anything about working with Perverts.”
Instead of replying, Aahz sank heavily into a chair and hid his face in his hands.
“Tanda!” he moaned. “Tell me again about how this kid can stay out of trouble.”
“Um ... Aahz,” I said cautiously. “Could I talk to you for a minute ... privately?”
“Why, I think that’s an excellent idea ... boss, “he said. The smile he turned to me wasn’t pleasant.
“Kid!” Aahz moaned after I had finished my tale. “How many times do I have to tell you? This is the Bazaar at Deva! You’ve got to be careful what you say and to who, especially when there’s money involved.”
“But I told them nothing was definite until we found out if you had hired someone else,” I protested.
“ ... But I didn’t hire anyone else, so now the deal is final,” Aahz sighed.
“Can’t we get out of it?” I asked hopefully.
“Back out of a deal on Deva?” Aahz shook his head. “That would get us barred from the Bazaar so fast it would make your head spin. Remember, the Merchants Association runs this dimension.”
“Well, you said you wanted outside help,” I pointed out.
“I didn’t expect to go that far outside,” he grimaced. ‘‘An Imp, a senile Archer, and a gargoyle.”
MA02 Myth Conceptions Page 9