by Joy Elbel
I was trying to picture us together the way Rachel saw us when one of the stall doors flew open and a beautiful blonde girl stormed out. She glared at us in the mirror as she washed her hands. Rachel turned to me and mouthed the words “oh, shit” and gave a little giggle. I didn’t know who this girl was but I found her poisonous stare humorous and I let out a laugh myself.
The girl dried her hands quickly and headed toward the door. I heard a distinct “bitch” whispered behind us as she passed. As soon as the door closed behind her, I asked Rachel, “Who was that?”
“Misty Landrum, head cheerleader and class bitch. She was nice a few years ago when her parents were still together. Then her dad ran off with his secretary and her mom turned into a Grade A gold digger. She married Jack Wolfe. He’s like twenty years older than her but he owns half the town. Suddenly, Misty was wearing designer clothes and sporting some serious breast implants.” Rachel paused to refresh her lip gloss. Boone was undoubtedly wearing more of it than she was at this point.
Breast implants at her age? Wtf? “Why did she call you a bitch?” I asked as I smoothed my tresses with a touch of anti-frizz cream. Summer wasn’t even technically here yet and my hair was already starting to misbehave.
“Oh no, honey, I think that was meant for you,” Rachel replied as she threw her lip gloss back into her bag.
“Me? She doesn’t even know me!” What could this girl possibly have against me? I’d been called a lot of names over the years, but never bitch.
“But she knows where you live—everyone does. The only house in town bigger than hers is Rosewood. They tried to buy it last year when it first went on the market but the Wakefields hated Jack Wolfe and wouldn’t sell it to him. Misty bragged for weeks that she was going to be living at Rosewood. She was pissed when they didn’t get it and I heard that her mother made Jack buy Misty the breast implants to make up for the disappointment. She used to be totally flat chested—at least he got his money’s worth.”
“So that’s it? She’s going to call me a bitch because my house is bigger than hers?” How juvenile! Trinity was an affluent neighborhood, full of mansions and expensive cars. I wasn’t used to being one of the rich kids.
“Well, there is another reason….”
Rachel hesitated but I was pretty sure I knew what that reason was. “Zach?” I said, hoping I was wrong.
“Zach,” she confirmed but offered no further details. She opened the restroom door and started back toward the cars.
Her silence was frustrating yet welcome. I had a feeling I didn’t want to hear the explanation. But before I could say as much, Rachel let it fly.
“Zach went out with Misty last year and when he dumped her, she didn’t take it so well.”
The exact thing I didn’t want to hear. If Zach were the boy I thought he was, he never would have dated a girl like that. How could I have been that wrong about him? Please tell me Zach’s love of Midnight Kiss didn’t start with Misty!
“Why would he date a girl like that?” I said, asking yet another question I thought I knew the answer to. There was only one reason anyone would date a girl like Misty—sex.
“Zach was different back then. He was the quarterback for the Red Ravens and she was head cheerleader—it was practically against the law for them not to be a couple.”
“So why did he dump her then?” Rachel was usually quick with a reply so when she hesitated I knew there had to be a good reason.
“Well?” I prodded.
Finally, she gave a cryptic answer. “You’ll have to ask Zach yourself. It’s his story to tell, not mine.”
What? My mind raced through the possibilities. Did he get her pregnant? Did she give him an STD? That had to be it! Mr. Perfect probably had herpes.
“I can’t ask him that! It’s personal and really none of my business.” But I still wanted to know, regardless of whose business it was or wasn’t.
Just before we reached the cars, Rachel stopped. She grabbed my arm and, with a serious look on her face said, “Ask him, he’ll tell you. He really likes you and if I know my brother, he wants to tell you already anyway but he doesn’t know how. He needs to get it off his chest—you can help him with that.”
There had to be more to it than I suspected so I promised Rachel that I would ask him about it. But how? How do you just work something like that into normal conversation? “Nice weather we’re having, huh? I hear the temperature is supposed to hit ninety next week, too. So, have you gotten anyone pregnant lately? Do you take anti-virals during your outbreaks?” I would have to work on my approach, definitely.
The second feature was about to start so I would have to find another time to ask. Zach offered me some popcorn and I took a handful to avoid the temptation to just blurt out my question. I’d already ruined enough moments for one night. My question would have to wait until some other time.
Quickly, my excitement turned to dread when I saw the title of the next movie—“Haunted by Love”. It wasn’t a slasher film at all—it was a ghost story. I saw the trailer for it a few days ago. It was the story of a woman being haunted by her dead husband. The story sounded a little too familiar to me. I didn’t know if I could sit through the entire thing but I was certainly going to try.
About fifteen minutes into it, the main character was innocently showering while a dark entity lurked on the other side of the shower curtain. I flashed back to the day the hot water turned off on me and decided I’d had enough.
“Zach,” I burst out suddenly and forcefully, “I can’t stay here with you! I’m sorry but I have to go!”
He looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes. “I thought you were having a good time? Did I do something wrong? You know, you can tell me if I did.”
How sweet! I flake out for no apparent reason and he wants to know what he did wrong. “No, it’s not you. You’ve been perfect. I just…it’s just that I….” I struggled to find the perfect lie to excuse my behavior. “I’m afraid of scary movies. I tried but I just can’t watch it.”
Relief filtered down through his face as he realized my wanting to leave had nothing to do with him. “It’s okay, I can take you home now or… we could go somewhere and talk. There’s something I want to talk to you about anyway, so.…”
Nothing in the world could be more uncomfortable than staying here and watching a vengeful ghost tear apart that poor woman’s sanity. I didn’t need to watch some B-list actress screaming naked in the shower while pretending to be terrorized—I was actually living that part.
“Sounds good, let’s go.” Zach yelled over to let Rachel and Boone know that we were leaving. They both just waved and kept on kissing. If only that could be Zach and me. How amazing would it be to kiss him? As we drove off into the night, it was the only thing I could think about. And the one thing I knew I could never do.
9. A Rule Worth Breaking…
We drove along the twisted highway alone, the only car on the road for miles since everyone else in town was still at the drive-in. A dark span of forest bordered our path on both sides, so thick that it obscured even the gleam of the nearly full moon. The tangled branches reached out of the darkness toward us with gnarled menace. If I was with anyone but Zach, I would have been wrought with fear but I realized in that moment that I trusted him implicitly. We drove in silence but my mind raced with all of the things I wished I could say to him.
Zach slowed the Neon as we rounded a curve and I could see a house on the right. It was small but filled with a soft glow that made it feel comfy even from this distance. “That’s our house,” he said quietly. “It’s no Rosewood but its home.”
“It looks cozy.”
“Is cozy the code word for tiny?”
I sensed that his family’s financial situation was an open wound for him. I hope he doesn’t think I’m a stuck up rich girl who would look down on him based solely on where he lived. Because I wasn’t and never would. “No, cozy is a good thing. It’s warm, intimate.”
He s
miled at this. “Intimate? This from the girl who lives in a mansion.”
“A bigger house doesn’t mean a better house. Rosewood is cold and uninviting. I would much rather live in a house like yours.” One not haunted by the mistakes of my past.
“It sounds like a complete load of bullshit but for some reason, I believe you.” He pulled the car onto a dirt road and parked at the foot of a hill.
“This is where I go when I need to be alone. I call it The Hideout. I’ve never brought anyone up here, not even my sister,” he said as he grabbed a blanket out of the backseat of his car.
Did he have the wrong impression? He did, didn’t he? It was the black underwear—it had to be.
My thoughts must have been written all over my face because he quickly explained, “For us to sit on.” He held out his arm, “Will you join me?”
I was so overwhelmed by the fact that he only wanted to sit with me that my response came out as nothing more than a whispered, “Yes.” I linked my arm with his and we walked up the hill together.
We climbed the gently sloping incline to its peak without speaking a word. The view from the top was breathtaking. The town of Charlotte’s Grove lay in the distance, lights twinkling through the darkness. Zach unfolded the blanket and spread it on the grass. He made himself comfortable and beckoned me to join him. I sat down carefully and folded my legs beneath me. It wasn’t the most lady-like position but it was dark and I figured he wouldn’t see any more than he already saw in the bathroom at the shelter. His gentlemanly ways had already taken away the sting I felt from that incident.
“So I have a question. If this is where you go to be alone, why did you ask me to come with you?” If he didn’t want sex, what did he want?
“I come here when there’s something on my mind and to be perfectly honest, you’re the only thing I’ve thought about since the day we met.”
As I looked at him there beside me, moonlight reflecting in his eyes, I knew for sure that I loved him. If it were possible to take one moment of my life and make it last forever, I would choose this one. Captured for eternity in such a way that I could invoke how he made me feel at any given moment—that feeling would take away any scrap of loneliness I ever felt again.
Self-consciously, I lowered my gaze and gave him a shy smile. “Me?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. I have a really hard time hiding my feelings, you know. Especially where you’re concerned.”
I thought Zach liked me from the very second we met but I was ill equipped for the feelings that rushed in when he finally said the words. My heart doubled in beats and my entire body tingled. I wanted to return the sentiment but I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t find the courage. I couldn’t do it period.
“I.…”
He spared me the agony of the lie I was about to tell him. Zach placed his hand on mine comfortingly. “I know you still have a boyfriend. I don’t want to be the one to break up your relationship but I see the way you look at me, Ruby. I know there’s something between us—I feel it every time I’m near you. It’s too strong not to be real. I’m not wrong, am I?” He looked at me pleadingly.
I wanted to take him in my arms and never let him go. I never expected to have a second chance at happiness, how could I turn it down now? Despite everything else, I simply couldn’t do that. So I opened myself up to him as much as I possibly could without revealing my secret.
“You’re right, I feel it too. But my situation is complicated and….” I allowed my words to trail off. I trusted him and the temptation to tell him the whole truth was a weight I almost couldn’t bear.
“I want you to know that I understand. Really, I do. Just knowing that you can admit your feelings for me is enough for now.” He swallowed hard, swallowed the raw emotion hovering so close to the surface. “I guess what I really need you to know is that I’ll wait for you however long it takes because I see something in you that I’ve never seen in anyone else. And know that I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Wait for me? How could I tell him that he could wait for an eternity and that it still wouldn’t be long enough? If there was only a way to release the grip that Lee had on me…. Was there a way?
No, there wasn’t. “I can’t ask you to wait, Zach. It wouldn’t be fair to you,” I protested. His happiness was worth far more to me than my own. I couldn’t allow him to put his life on hold indefinitely for me no matter how much I wanted him to.
“Let me worry about what’s fair for me. I just need you to sort out your feelings. And besides, there isn’t anyone else I want to be with.” He announced it with such conviction that I knew it was the truth. Now was the perfect time to bring up Misty and the mysterious conversation I’d had with Rachel earlier. So I dove in head first.
“I met Misty Landrum tonight. She called me a bitch behind my back. What happened between you two?” I wanted to know everything even if the truth hurt. I wanted to know everything about him, to feel everything he felt. It sounds stupid, but love does that I guess. It makes you stupid and foolish and…and…. Alive. He made me feel alive after believing I would be numb for the rest of my life.
Zach took a deep breath. “Did Rachel tell you anything?”
“No. She told me to ask you. She said that it was your story to tell, that you would want to tell me yourself.” So hurry up and tell me already! Patience was never one of my virtues.
Zach laughed. “Sometimes the twin connection we have is a little scary. I was planning on talking to you about it tonight anyway.”
Deep apprehension. I wanted to know what happened between Zach and Misty but I knew it might hurt me really bad. Neither Lee nor I had ever dated anyone else so jealousy was never an issue in our relationship. Being the freaks that we were, no one else ever even flirted with either of us. But Zach was different. He was beautiful and perfect in every way. I steeled myself for the ugly details of their relationship, all the while knowing that nothing he said could ever change how I felt about him.
“Well, it’s a long story,” he said with a sigh. “Last year, my dad convinced me to try out for the football team. I didn’t think I’d be any good but he insisted I at least give it a shot. WelI, I didn’t just make the team, I made quarterback. First string too. I was what everyone called a “natural”—I just had a feel for the ball. And I was on fire, too. We went undefeated our first twelve games and everyone thought we would be district champs that year. I had coaches telling me I was the next big thing, universities were already scouting me and it looked like I would have a full scholarship waiting for me. My dad’s football career ended his senior year because of an injury and I knew he was living vicariously through me. There was so much pressure and my life changed too much, too fast. I was popular for the first time in my life and I let it go to my head.”
“The night before the championship game Grandpa Mason called and asked me to help him bring the kerosene heater in from the barn. The first big snowstorm of the season was heading our way and since their house was heated by electricity, he wanted to be prepared in case the power went out. I told him I would drop by after dinner and he said, ‘See ya then, squirt.’ Those were the last words he ever said to me. While we were eating, I got a text from Misty inviting me to a pre-game party at her step dad’s lake house. I’d had a crush on her since grade school but I was awkward and really shy back then so she never even knew I liked her. So when she finally showed interest in me, I jumped at the chance to spend some time with her. I decided to go to the party first and then stop by and help Grandpa on my way home.”
“But when I got to the lake house, the party was already going full throttle. I was the quarterback and a lot of people attributed our success that year to my skills so there wasn’t a single person there who didn’t offer me a drink to toast our achievements. I had a few beers and I forgot all about Grandpa. Misty was at my side the entire night. She hung on every word I had to say. So when she asked me to go upstairs with her, well…I went.” He lowered his ey
es shamefully.
I realized that this was the part where I would have to hear that he slept with Misty and my heart sank. I knew it was too much to ask for but I was really hoping that Zach was a virgin, too. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want to hear any more but I could see he needed to finish his story. For his sake, I had to listen. So I gave a halfhearted, “It’s okay, go on.” But I held my breath and waited for the punch in the stomach I was sure his next words would provide.
He gave a weak smile and continued. “Misty took me upstairs and started kissing me. I was woozy from the beer and not thinking straight. I’d liked her for so long that her first kiss convinced me I was in love. She was totally in control and before I knew it, my shirt was off and so was hers. As she unzipped my pants, she said ‘I love quarterbacks!’ Her first two words had me nearly delirious but once she finished her sentence, I felt a piece of my heart die. And that’s when it hit me, I wasn’t there with her because she liked me, I was there because she liked what I did on the field. She wasn’t the girl I thought she was, the sweet girl I fell for years ago. So I pushed her back and told her it was a mistake and that I needed to go. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t sleep with her if she didn’t even care about me. She thought I was joking, that I couldn’t possibly be turning her down—until I walked out and I never looked back. From what I heard later, she settled for my backup, Kody Kirk, instead. But the sting of my rejection still eats away at her and she seems determined to make me change my mind.”
While the idea of Zach kissing a half-naked Misty wasn’t a pleasant thought, it was much better than the alternative. What did bother me though, was the fact that he was in love with her at the time. Sex is fleeting. Love, however, didn’t just go away that easily. Yes, I was in love with Lee but he was gone now. Mostly. Misty was still very much alive and could come between us at any second. What if I braved the supernatural to be with Zach and he ended up dumping me for her in the end anyway? I couldn’t think about that now—I had to focus on the positive. “So you didn’t have sex with her?”