Staring at myself in the mirror, I tried to remember what I looked like just over a month before when I still lived as mistress of the estate in Söllund. I could not.
With a deep breath, I exited, wondering if Reister would be there. Mother Tora read a letter, alone in the sitting room.
“Ah, Myadar,” she said when she looked up. “I like the boa. It’s the first time you’ve worn it, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.”
“I’ve seen more and more of them since Leika-Konungdis wore one to the ball. You’re sure to draw compliments.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Going to the Øringers’ party?”
“Yes. I wonder what they have planned.”
“I heard they hired half the musicians from the ball to play that awful jazz music. I know it’s the rage, but I just can’t abide it.”
I nodded. “Will Reister be joining me, do you know?”
Mother Tora shook her head, her eyes back on her letter. “He’s been tied up all day with some business crisis. I spoke to him briefly an hour ago. He’s all in a lather.”
Since her eyes were still cast down, I allowed myself a smile. “Very well, then, I’d best be off.”
“Quite.”
The Øringers’ apartments were much larger and grander than ours, with higher ceilings and wider rooms. One was large enough to pass for a ballroom, and they had cleared it of furniture save for a few chairs in the corners. The musicians played at one end, and when I arrived several people were already dancing.
I looked around at the other guests, recognizing many. Jarl and Jarldis Humli sat in the grand salon adjacent to the ballroom, smoking. Jarl Spraki chatted with Jarldis Vaenn in a high archway between the ballroom and sitting room. I allowed my eyes to rest on Vaenn for just a moment longer than usual, contemplating her duplicity. Fearing she might look up and catch my gaze, I forced myself to continue assessing the guests. Jöfurdis Svida leaned against a wall of the ballroom, watching the musicians. After another moment of scanning, I saw Liut making his way towards me through a crowd of guests. I forced a smile.
“Jarldis Sölbói,” he said as he always did in formal situations. I wondered if everyone noticed how much we were together when my husband did not accompany me to soirées. Did anyone even care?
“Jarl Krigr,” I returned.
“May I have the honor of this dance?”
I gave him a nod and took his arm.
As we danced, Liut leaned in close to my ear. “I think I may have a buyer for your rubies.”
I stiffened and forced a look of delight on my face just in time for him to pull back and see it. “Truly?”
He smiled.
What was his plan, to give me false hope of a sale and say it fell apart at the last minute?
He drew me close to him again as I squashed the urge to impale his foot with my heel.
“I think they will bring enough for the three of us to make our escape.”
“It’s all I could hope for,” I breathed.
“But Myadar, I must warn you,” he said.
And here it comes, I thought.
“I’ve heard the konunger may make an appearance tonight. You really must make a better impression on him, if we’re to avoid notice long enough to put our plan into effect. It wouldn’t do to cause another stir—then everyone will be watching you.”
In his own falsehearted way, he was right. If the konunger really did intend on making an appearance, I had to be on my best behavior. I couldn’t afford to become the center of attention for any reason. As soon as I worked out my plan I had to be able to slip away unnoticed to retrieve Bersi and flee the city.
“I’ll do my best to please his majesty, then,” I said.
As we swung around the floor, I noticed Jöfurdis Svida watching me, and then I caught Finnarún’s gaze as well. The latter stared as intensely as a cat watching a bird. Did Liut and Finnarún hope to send me to the konunger’s bed tonight? Or to share me between them instead? I shivered at the thought. I still remembered my body’s response when Finnarún tried to seduce me. If Liut did invite her to join us, what would I do? I hadn’t worked out how to refuse him if he wanted one of our usual assignations yet. Maybe if he did invite Finnarún, it would work in my favor. I could play the part of the outraged innocent. I could even break with him over it.
The music ended and we all clapped. Another piece began immediately and many couples danced again. I rested a gloved hand on Liut’s arm. “I’m terribly thirsty,” I said.
“No mead, I gather,” he smiled.
“No, thank you. I would prefer a brandy,” I said.
He gave me a nod and disappeared through the crowd. I drifted to a chair in the corner.
Jöfurdis Svida sat next to me and leaned close. I blinked at her and considered moving away, but she caught my wrist in a grip so tight I gasped.
“When did you learn their game?” she breathed into my ear.
I tensed and gave her a look of confusion. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“A better question, I suppose, is why you’re still playing it.”
“Really, Jöfurdis, I haven’t any idea—”
“Jarldis Sölbói, your attempts to dissemble are wasted. I watched you with your lover, Liut Krigr, on that dance floor. I’ve watched you many times. Something has changed since the last time you danced together. Also, you don’t reek of alcohol.”
I flushed. “I—I never—”
“Don’t panic,” she whispered. “I haven’t any intention of revealing you.”
Staring at her, I tried to read her face. She gazed back at me, her full lips curved in a hint of a smile.
I couldn’t think of anyone I wanted to trust less than Jöfurdis Svida, except maybe for her sister Leika-Konungdis or the konunger himself. From what I’d gathered, Leika and Eiflar were the reason Galmr had risen to power as high vigja of the temple of Tyr. They were the reason for the extreme reforms that rendered me powerless to recover my son and leave my husband openly. In the days before Tyr’s ascension, the temple of Frigga would have been a haven for us. The vigjadises of Frigga would have defended us and seen to it that I would never be separated from my son again. Now vigjadises of Frigga endured such tortures that they renounced their faith. And Jöfurdis Svida, sister to the konungdis who put into motion the Conversion, wanted me to confess to her that I had discovered Reister’s conspiracy with Liut and Finnarún to put me in the konunger’s bed. And to what end? I still didn’t know. In any case, confiding in Svida seemed terribly ill-advised.
I stood and stepped through the people standing near the wall watching the dancers, but Svida followed me.
“Jarldis Sölbói, please,” she hissed.
A gnarl of people blocked my way. I bit my lip and grasped the feather boa I wore, wishing I could fling it at them in frustration. My only consolation lay in that Svida was finding it almost as difficult to make her way through the crowd to my side. Then, I heard some women speaking nearby.
“I heard it was arson.”
“Well, of course it was arson. Warehouses don’t just go up in flames spontaneously, especially in the Torc.”
“But why would anyone want to burn down an old abandoned warehouse?”
“I heard it wasn’t abandoned.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No. I heard they recovered barrel rings and other evidence that someone was storing wine there.”
“No!”
“That is what I heard.”
“What a pity it burned down!”
A hand grasped my upper arm. I turned: it was Svida. “Jarldis Sölbói, why are you running from me?”
“Jöfurdis, excuse me for saying, you are mistaken. I would never be so rude as to run from you,” I said, trying to look polite and neutral.
“Nonsense, you practically sprinted away. I don’t mean you any harm, you know.”
“Of course you don’t,” I said.
The crowd in our area
of the room began to thin as people wandered to other parts of the apartments. I spotted Liut, who met my eyes and hurried towards us.
“I assure you, Jöfurdis,” I said, “Liut Krigr is not now, nor has he ever been, my lover. And he and I are on friendly, polite terms.”
Svida scoffed. “Do you take me for a fool? I knew what they were doing, Jarldis Sölbói. I knew that Liut and Finnarún were up to their usual tricks. Had a bet, did they? What did Liut win for bedding you first?”
I pulled free of her grasp, unable to meet her eyes. Liut’s arrival at my side saved me from having to answer.
He handed me a glass of brandy and I gave it a longing look. How pleasant it would be to lose myself again. But I could not do it. To lose myself would be to abandon Bersi all over again. I might not have a plan yet, but muddling my thoughts with brandy wouldn’t help me devise one any quicker.
“Jöfurdis Svida, always a pleasure,” Liut said, bowing over her hand.
“I would say ‘likewise,’ Krigr, but I’ve decided to take a vow of honesty,” she retorted.
Liut’s eyebrows went up. “Is that so, Jöfurdis? For how long? That will prove very inconvenient, I expect.”
Svida scowled at him. “Let’s say for tonight, then.”
A rustle followed by a larger commotion drew our attention to the archway opposite us. People bowed their heads as the konunger and his wife entered the ballroom. She wore her dark brown hair spilling over a wide violet silk band. Her dress was silver lamé and she had violet elbow-length satin gloves, many bracelets, and a beaded purse. Eiflar-Konunger wore a black tuxedo with a violet cravat that echoed his wife’s rich colors.
I bowed my head as they approached, but not before I noticed Leika looking at the three of us, her brown eyes like pools of shimmering tea moving from Liut, to me, to Svida, and back to me again. Once the royal couple passed I raised my eyes and caught her whispering to her husband. What could she possibly be whispering about? Unless my misstep at her ball still mattered to her. I sighed. If so, there simply wasn’t anything I could do about it, except hope someone else would do something far more scandalous to take her mind off of me.
“Your sister is always immaculately dressed,” Liut observed to Svida.
“So she is,” Svida agreed without enthusiasm.
They still watched the royal duo so I took the opportunity to pour out some of my drink by putting my glass behind me and tilting it. I brought it to my lips just as Liut turned to me, and lowered it again, hoping he would think I’d had some.
“I don’t think I’ve said how very lovely you look tonight, Jarldis Sölbói,” he told me.
Svida snorted and rolled her eyes. I could have kicked her. Hard. So much for “not revealing” my secret.
Liut gazed at her, eyebrows raised. “Did I say something to offend you, Jöfurdis? Surely you don’t disagree with me. Isn’t Jarldis Sölbói lovely tonight? I’m sure you must appreciate her beauty.”
Svida’s eye narrowed and she shot him a look fit to burn holes through him. What strange animosity existed between these two? Whatever it was, it wasn’t new. They hated each other—it wasn’t the sort of dislike that came of a brief misunderstanding or offense. This had roots that grew deep into their pasts, I was sure of it.
I hoped to be away from this city long before this mystery was revealed to me. I had had my fill of intrigue. Let these courtiers connive and scheme, betray each other one day and ally the next to betray someone else. Let them do it for the rest of their lives, if that’s what pleased them. But let me be far, far away with my son while they did.
~~~
I found no way to escape it—Liut stayed at my side the whole night long, and when it came time to leave, he expected we would have an assignation in one of his private rooms, as we always did when Reister had not accompanied me.
I allowed him to lead me down the corridor, my hand in his, my body loose through an act of will, although my mind raced, trying to conceive of an excuse, a way out. All too soon he stopped before a door, produced a key, and tugged me after him as he went inside.
Liut grabbed my hips and pressed me against the shut door, kissing me. For a moment panic coursed through me—could I go through with this, or would he discover I hid my knowledge of his deception? Could I let him have his way, when I knew his treachery?
I rocked my head back as he pulled me against him, squeezing my eyes shut and gritting my teeth. How could I let him touch me like this, when he only seduced me to win a wager against Finnarún and pay some part in my husband’s political intrigues? When he took my jewels so I wouldn’t be able to use them to escape? When he was an active obstacle to my rescuing Bersi? He would take his pleasure from me once more, and the only way to stop him was to reveal my hand.
No, I thought, a steely resolve forming in my heart. I would not be a victim of this. If I must play along, let me be in control for once. Let me take my pleasure. I would not passively allow Liut to use me once more. I would use him.
I grinned at the thought, and Liut pulled back to look at my face. I plunged my fingers into his hair, messing the curls free from the tonic. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply. He pushed my skirt up to my waist, and I unbuttoned his trousers.
I yanked off his jacket and fumbled with his watch chain and the buttons of his waistcoat. Liut had often taken me without bothering to remove his clothes—tonight I would have him naked, as vulnerable as I could make him.
Moving on to his shirt and undershirt, I ran my hands over the muscles in his shoulders and his arms, wishing for a moment I could go back to thinking he was truly mine. But the Liut I’d fallen in love with never existed, I knew.
Liut struggled with my gown’s zipper as I pulled down his drawers. He stood naked while I still had my slip and stockings. It was a minor victory—one Liut seemed to have no inkling of—but I would take what I could get. He leaned in for a kiss and drew my slip over my head, leaving me in my garter and stockings. His eyes traveled over me, and I in turn gazed at his body: his sculpted chest with just a little spray of hair, his lean belly, his evident excitement.
My heart twisted, and I knew I could maintain my resolve only for a short while longer. Taking his hand, I led him to the settee. As I laid him back on it, I straddled his hips and pulled him to me. He fondled my breasts, his mouth on my throat, kissing and nibbling. I reached down and guided him into me, rotating my hips to urge him on.
My initiative thrilled him, it seemed, and his movements quickened right away. For a moment I considered pretending pleasure, and hurrying him to his end, but I rejected the idea. No. I would enjoy this. I would take my pleasure even as he had his. I would not be his plaything.
Rage boiled up, and I dug my nails into his chest, thrusting against him so he pierced deeper. I rotated my hips another fraction, the sensation sending a thrill through me. I was taking him. I ground my hips and pushed him in deeper again, gasping as my body responded, and the pleasure built. My hips bucked against him, and I rocked with increasing speed, until the wave broke over me, and I cried out.
When my pleasure subsided I released him, and Liut collapsed back, spent. I had not noticed when he climaxed, so involved had I been in my own experience. I was glad. It might have ruined everything if I had been aware of him at the end.
I wanted to climb off of him, but I forced myself to lay still and wait for him to stir. Liut rarely remained in my arms for long—now I knew why. Sure enough, after a few minutes, he shifted, running his hands through his hair. I rocked into the back of the settee, releasing him, and he stood. He watched me as he did, as if he wasn’t sure what I might do next.
“That was…extraordinary,” he said.
“I missed you,” I lied.
He gave me a brilliant smile. “Perhaps I should endeavor to be parted from you more often.”
“Oh no, dear Liut, please don’t tease,” I said, with all the dismay I could muster.
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Never
fear, my lovely Myadar. I wouldn’t be parted from you for the world.”
I gave him a smile, hoping he wouldn’t see through my dissembling. How much longer could I bear being with him? Best to leave now if I could.
“It must be getting late,” I said. I stood, gathering my clothes.
“Ah yes,” Liut agreed. “What a pity.”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye as I passed my dress over my head. How could someone so false exist? I turned my back to him, gesturing to my zipper. He obliged me.
“Maybe tomorrow we can find a bit of time to meet,” he said. He sounded wistful. I clenched my jaw and busied myself with my gloves.
A thought occurred to me. “Oh yes,” I said, looking up at him with a hopeful expression. “Perhaps by then you’ll have sold my jewels. Oh, Liut, imagine it, we could run away tomorrow! Send me a note and I’ll meet you anywhere you like.”
That ought to keep him from bothering me for a while, at least.
~~~
As I hurried back to the Sölbói apartments, I began hatching a plan to make an end of my cursed time in Helésey. What I had to do, I decided, was acquire money for our passage on some boat. I would just have to take care about who I hired. I feared that would be easier said than done, but I had to try. And perhaps I could steal some vehicle for crossing the city. If I did, I would have to take care to have the boat ready. Everything would have to happen quickly—first the automobile, then Bersi, then straight to the boat.
But how to acquire the money? That came before everything else. I would have to rob someone, I supposed. Someone with cash—it wouldn’t do me any good to steal some bauble from a courtier’s living room, for I still didn’t know how to fence it. Better to skip that step altogether. With cash, I could go to the docks and find someone to hire. I wished I knew just one person I could trust who could help me choose the right captain, but wishes would get me nowhere.
The City Darkens (Raud Grima Book 1) Page 18