by James Wolfe
“No problem,” the doctor responded. “I’ll let you know if anything abnormal comes back on your blood results, and, good luck with everything.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it!” I said, as I stood up and walked him to the door.
And it still struck me how normal it felt, to walk him to the door and let him out as if it was my home. It felt natural to be here.
Maybe I could just take some more time before I decided. I did have the whole week off of work, thankfully. A few days ago, I had been really upset about not getting the hours. They’d hired a few new people and had just forgotten to schedule me… even though I’d worked there for five years.
But I wasn’t even the slightest bit upset about it now. It gave me more time with Alexander, and, even though I was feeling better, I really wasn’t ready to leave him quite yet.
Maybe I wouldn’t be ready to leave him ever.
Hopefully, by the end of the week, I’d know. Because, by then, I’d have to decide. Whether I was saying goodbye to my crappy old life and entering in to something wonderful or not.
God, it was really so stupid that I was torn about this at all. I mean, honestly, it shouldn’t have even been a contest. I didn’t like my life that much as is. Why not try something new?
I sat myself down on a wooden rocking chair that Alexander had in his living room. It was cute, clearly hand carved. His whole cabin was so quaint that way. Built from the ground up by people in the village, I was sure. It was honestly the kind of home I’d always imagined myself in in my fantasies.
Just moments later, Alexander walked through the door.
“Hello,” he smiled at me.
“Hi,” I smiled back softly. I swear, just every time he walked into the room, I melted.
“What did the doctor say?” he asked, as he closed the door behind him, though I noticed he didn’t lock it.
“Oh, he said I’m healing just fine. And he took some blood, and he told me he’d let me know if there was anything abnormal on the tests. Hey, I think you forgot to lock the door.”
“Oh, no, it doesn’t have a lock,” he said.
“Your front door doesn’t have a lock?!” I asked, knowing that I got a little bug-eyed.
“Nope, we don’t really need one. Nobody ever tries to get in anywhere that is not their home. Why would they?”
“To… I don’t know, to steal something?”
“But they don’t need to steal anything. Anything they want, they can have. As long as they’re doing their job, there’s nothing they aren’t allowed to get.”
“Right… I forgot,” we’d had a long talk last night about life here and his culture, but it was still so bizarre to me. In a good way, though. I’d love to feel that trusting in my town.
“I grabbed some more chicken and some asparagus for lunch, if that sounds good with you. I thought maybe you’d want something a little more solid than soup now that you’re feeling better.”
“Oh, yes, that sounds delicious! Thanks!”
“Are you hungry yet?” he asked.
“Uh… you know, yeah, I think I could eat again.”
He nodded. “I’ll start cooking.”
I stood up out of the rocking chair. “Do you want some help?”
“No, no, you sit back down and relax. I don’t mind cooking. In fact, I quite enjoy it.”
I sat back down. That was actually great because, honestly, I couldn’t stand cooking. Not even a little bit.
As had been every man I’d ever dated. Rich and I had been very much a take-out couple. Take out and delivery.
In fact, I didn’t even think I’d ever had a man cook for me before! Not even once. And now it was happening twice in the same twenty-four hour period. And it would probably continue to happen every day for the rest of my life, if I stayed here.
I could get used to this.
“How did the talk with the elders go?” I asked him, calling out to the kitchen.
And, once again, it felt so natural yelling at him from the living room while he cooked us a meal. Like I did it every day, like it was routine for us… like I could do it every day for the rest of my life.
“It went wonderfully,” he said, peeking his head out of the kitchen. “In fact, what do you say we go for a walk around the village after lunch?”
I grinned at him. “Really?! We don’t need to wait until tomorrow?”
“Nope. In fact, the sooner the better. I want to show you off to the world. Or, at least, to the village.”
But that part made me a little nervous. “And… you’re sure they’re going to be okay with me?”
He grinned back, for the first time he had a very goofy smile on his face. “I really think they will be.”
8
Alexander
I purposely avoided asking him about his decision during lunch. I hadn’t been gone very long, and, most of the time I had, I expected he had been with the doctor. And likely hadn’t had a lot of time to think of his choice.
I didn’t want to pressure him. And I also wasn’t ready to hear anything I didn’t want to. Not when everything was already going so well. I finally felt happiness, joy, and relief after speaking to Andrew. I just wanted all these pleasant feelings to last for a while longer.
Especially as I walked him around the village and introduced him to friends and neighbors. He may well decide he didn’t want to stay, it may really hurt, but it didn’t have to hurt today. Today, we could just be happy.
And boy, was I happy. And Daniel appeared to be, too. Everything I showed him about the village, he seemed to fall in love with. Our agricultural field, our markets, our little shops. We even had a few simple restaurants, even though, for the most part, we chose to cook at home with vegetables from the market.
I introduced him as my mate to almost everyone we walked by, and I got a good reaction from them all. Andrew had been pretty much right, everyone just seemed glad to hear that I’d met someone. I shouldn’t have expected anything less of my community. They’d always supported me in the past. This was such a unique situation, though…
“What do you think of it?” I asked, after we’d been strolling through the village for about half an hour.
“I think it’s wonderful!” he said excitedly.
“Really?” I grinned.
“Absolutely, positively wonderful. I mean, this is the exactly the kind of town I’ve always fantasized about living in. It’s quaint, quiet, the sense of community is wonderful…”
And there it was. In a moment, all my fears were quieted. Everything I’d wanted was now becoming a reality. He loved it here, it was the perfect town for him, it was where he wanted to be.
I had finally found my happy ending.
“So, we can go get your stuff as soon as you’re feeling better, perhaps even tomorrow. I’ll help you pack, and hopefully we can get your things moved in just a few days. I’m not sure how much stuff you have…”
His face fell.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I love it here, I do… and I really like you, but…”
I didn’t understand. It almost sounded like he was preparing to reject me, but that couldn’t be right, could it? He loved it here. He had feelings for me. So he undoubtedly wanted to be here… right?
“But what?” I asked.
“But, I’m just not sure I’m ready to move here.”
“I don’t understand. You just said this was the perfect town for you…”
“It is,” he reiterated.
“So, then… have I done something wrong? Something to upset you?”
“Absolutely not! No, you’re wonderful. I mean, from what I know of you, you’re wonderful.”
“So what is it?” I asked again. “I just don’t understand. If there’s nothing negative, why would you not want to stay?”
He sighed. “This town is wonderful, and you’re great. But I just can’t be sure. I can’t… I’m not ready to leave everything behind. My life isn’t super grea
t as is. And, I acknowledge that, but it’s still my life, you know?”
I shook my head. “I don’t, really. I respect any decision you are going to make because I respect you, but I still do not understand why you would not want to leave a bad life for a great one.”
He nodded. “I know. I know the way you are, it probably makes no sense to you. Because you’re sure. You’re a werewolf, so you get to be sure. But I’m not, you know? I’m a human. You fell in love with a human, and what comes with that is everything that makes me human. Part of that is doubt.”
I looked at him carefully, analyzing him, figuring him out. He was right, there were going to be complications with falling in love with a human. Part of that complication was that I was not going to understand every choice he made. I’d known that going into this. I’d been prepared for it.
I just hadn’t been prepared for how hard it was going to be to let him go when all I wanted was to keep him with me for now and for all eternity.
“So what does this mean, exactly?” I asked him. “Where do you want to go from here? You would like to separate from me? Just return to your old life?”
“No, I mean, not entirely. It’s not like I’m giving up the idea of you as a possible future of mine. I’d just like for things to move more slowly. Like… you know, we could date?”
Ahh, yes, that unfamiliar human concept.
“Okay…” I said slowly. “And what exactly does dating entail?”
“Just, you know, I can come visit on the weekends and when I don’t work. We can spend time together, get to know each other, just really enjoy being with one another.”
“And what does that provide for you?” I asked. Not in an accusatory way. I was just genuinely curious.
“It basically… give some security, I guess. You have this luxury of security, of knowing exactly what you want. Before I commit to this, I want to feel like you. I want to be completely sure of us.”
“That makes sense,” I acknowledged.
And it did. And I did my best to hide any disappointment, though I was sure it was obvious on my face. But I didn’t want to guilt him for his needs. I wanted to provide for him, even if it hurt me.
“So… I’ll spend the next few days with you, and then I’ll go back home? And we can date? Just start to learn about each other?”
I forced a smile. “Yes, we’ll date. We will learn about one another. Whatever makes you comfortable.”
He smiled back and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ve gotta say, you really do seem perfect so far.”
“I should,” I answered seriously. “I’m your soul mate.”
9
Daniel
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t questioned myself after leaving Alexander’s cabin.
This past week had been the most amazing of my life. Every day I’d spent with him, the more sure I’d become that he was right, that he really was my soul mate.
And, yet, I still never stopped worrying. My doubts never relaxed.
I hoped that, by leaving, I’d be able to calm the doubts. I’d go back to my crappy old life and realize pretty quickly that this was actually where I needed to be. That nothing was going to make me happy like living the rest of my life with Alexander in this village.
And, as I returned to my apartment and started doing some laundry so I’d have clothes for work tonight, I really started to feel like that might be true.
My place sure had nothing on his cabin. There was no fireplace, it didn’t have the warmth of handmade furniture and blankets, it didn’t really have any decor at all. I didn’t have the money to decorate.
And, I’d never taken the time to make this place feel like a home, but why would I have? It hadn’t really served as my home. I hadn’t spent a lot of time here. I’d either been at work or out doing things with whomever was my boyfriend at the time.
I’d spent a lot of time at Rich’s place, actually. It was nicer than mine. Although, nicer than mine wasn’t saying much, I guess.
It was just four walls, nothing else. It was a roof over my head. It didn’t make me happy. Not like being at the cabin had.
Though, I guess the cabin was just four walls, too. A much prettier four walls, four walls that felt cozier, but that was not what had made it a home. It was a home because Alexander was there.
He was the light I’d never known I needed. I’d always watched romantic movies and thought that love like that simply wasn’t real. That this deep, passionate, overwhelming love had only existed in fantasy.
I’d never felt that way about any of my exes. I’d always settled. Because I’d had no idea it was even possible to feel that way, and, if I had, had I known, I wouldn’t have ever settled. I couldn’t possible have ever felt how amazing it was to be with someone I was enthralled with and then go back to feeling… well, to feeling nothing, I guess.
So, that begged the question, what was I doing here?
I sighed and collapsed on the couch, already wishing I was back on Alexander’s couch in his living room, watching him move around in the kitchen as he cooked a meal for us.
No fancy home cooking would be going on here. I really didn’t cook. It’d be either restaurant leftovers or frozen pizza for me tonight.
It’d be fine, though, I’d see Alexander this weekend. It was only five days away.
Ugh, but five days sounded like forever. When I’d made this plan to date Alexander, I hadn’t factored in how it was going to feel to be apart from him. Because, in the past, I’d never minded being apart from any of my boyfriends. I hadn’t pined for them, hadn’t missed them when they hadn’t been around. I’d just kind of lived my life, and, when I saw, them great. But when I hadn’t, whatever.
I didn’t know why I imagined it was going to be like that for Alexander. It wasn’t, not in the slightest. I was pining, all right. More than pining.
I couldn’t believe I already fucking missed him.
I wasn’t going to go back, though, not quite yet. It was too pathetic to return to him less than a day since I’d left, before I’d even lived out one week in my old life. No, I was going to at least get through this week.
That’s what I wanted anyway, right? To be completely sure of my decision. Well, I had a feeling that living my old life was going to make me completely sure.
Besides, I would need a week here anyway to tie up any loose ends. Mostly to tell my job that I would be quitting and stuff like that. Start packing up my things.
And that was exactly what I was going to start doing. Because I was fairly confident that I would not be staying here. I may not be running back into Alexander’s arms right now, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t take steps toward our life together.
Holy shit, it hadn’t hit me until that very thought. We were going to be starting our lives together. I felt so deeply for him, and I actually really, truly wanted to spend my life with this man. And I barely knew him, but, right now, that just didn’t seem to matter. Because I was feeling more than I had in my entire life, and I was just… happy.
Happy… yeah, I don’t think I’d ever used that word to describe myself. My life had never felt good enough to quite qualify me as happy before. It’d always just been okay.
Until now, that is.
I couldn’t stop smiling, it was pathetic. I was smiling, and he wasn’t even around. I mean, really, what had I become? It really was like I was a character straight out of a rom-com.
There was a knock at the door, and, even though I hadn’t expecting anyone, I didn’t think much of it. Maybe the mailman had a package for me or something. I didn’t know, I was too caught up in my daydreaming to really pay attention.
And that was a mistake.
When I pulled the door open, there wasn’t a mailman in front of me. Of course not, because if I had taken a second to think about it, I would have realized I hadn’t ordered anything. I would have realized there was no good reason for anyone to be at my door, and I wouldn’t have answered.
“R
ich…” I muttered as a cold chill ran through me.
“Hey, baby,” he smiled at me, as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t left me for dead in the woods after attacking me a week ago.
I immediately went to shut the door on him, but he was too quick. He put his foot in the doorway and then wedged his way inside before I could even react.
“Seriously? Is that how you’re going to react to me? I haven’t seen you in a week. I haven’t seen you since…” he let his sentence trail off rather than speaking of our last encounter. “I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.”
“Well, I’m alive,” I said coolly. “Now, please leave.”
“No,” he said seriously, “we need to talk about this. Where have you been? I stopped at your job, you hadn’t been there all week. I came to your apartment every day. You can’t just disappear for a week.”
I tried to control it, but I couldn’t help but laugh. He was being so absolutely ridiculous.
“Of course I can disappear for a week! We’re not together anymore. I had no other plans to see you.”
His expression quickly turned irritated. “Since fucking when?”
“Oh, I don’t know, since the night you got violent on me?!” I snapped back. “You didn’t really expect you could treat me like that and then get away with it?”
“That’s what I came here for!” he argued. “To apologize, to tell you that I was sorry. I was awful that night, I know that, and no apologies could fix it—”
“You’re right,” I agreed, “no apologies could fix it.”
“I was drunk!” he defended himself. “I was drunk, and you were just so… I was drunk and angry. I would never treat you like that sober. So, I decided that I’m done drinking.”
I wanted to laugh again because Rich was basically a functioning alcoholic.
“You’re done drinking?”
“Yes. I’m done. I’m done for you. I’m so sorry, Daniel, and I’m going to be better, if you’ll just give me a second chance.”