“Were you all in on it?” I glanced around the shore at the gathered paranormals: selkies and banshees and a gnome and a sylph and a few other things that were new that I didn’t care enough to study. “Did you really risk Lend’s life just so I’d see what the Unseelies were like? I already know what they’re like! I already know they’re terrible! I can’t believe you”—I pointed right at Cresseda’s watery chest where the light of her soul shimmered—“his own mother would do that. Every minute he was with the Dark Queen was dangerous. Who knows what she did to him!”
Cresseda shook her head, droplets spinning off like liquid light. “I simply gave Reth Lend’s name and asked him to help you in whatever way he could.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because Reth’s opinion on how to help me has always been spot-on.” I raised my scarred wrist from where he had tried to force more soul energy into me. “Brilliant move. For someone who’s been around for eternity, you don’t learn very fast. You. Don’t. Trust. Faeries! Ever! Especially not him!”
Okay, forget that I had been guilty of trusting him. I couldn’t believe how grateful I was, how willing to forgive him for past offences.
“I took the path that was necessary.” Reth’s voice was firm and unapologetic.
“By whose standards? No, whatever, don’t answer that. David, can we take Lend back to the house now? It’s freezing and I don’t like the company here.”
Arianna put a hand gently on my shoulder; I hadn’t realized she was behind me. “Lend’s home. That’s all that matters.”
I shook her hand off, tired and devastated and needing Lend to wake up, just wake up.
“Please stay and hear us out, Empty One,” a beautiful dryad asked, her skin a soft mossy green beneath her glamour, large brown eyes pleading.
“My name is Evelyn.” My voice caught. I couldn’t handle the mixture of hope and sadness in her eyes, couldn’t shoulder the burden of the entire paranormal world. I’d worked so hard for my life. They’d find another way. I wasn’t an Empty One, not anymore. I was an Evie.
David sighed. “Will you go put his pillow and blankets on the couch? We can watch him easier down there. I’ll bring Lend back to the house in a minute.”
“Yeah.”
I turned on my heel and hobbled toward the house. My feet were still tender, sore, and freezing but I didn’t care.
“Hey,” Arianna said behind me; I walked faster. She ran to catch up, keeping pace with me. “Seriously, why won’t you listen to them? You saw how bad things are in the Faerie Realms. You could stop it.”
“Yeah, I saw it. My feet? That was because of the field trip Reth took me on—a field trip specifically designed to make me sympathetic toward his group of faeries. To convince me to do what they want me to. That’s all any of them are trying to do: force me to be what they want me to be. I don’t belong to them!”
“Just because he tricked you into seeing it all, does that change how bad the things you saw were?”
I shook my head angrily, trying not to think of the girls blissfully unaware that they were carrying around Empty Ones inside them, nothing more than tools for the Dark Queen. Then there were those locked forever in the dance. And the village. All those lives, stolen, destroyed on a whim by creatures that shouldn’t be here at all.
Creatures I could send back forever.
This shouldn’t be my responsibility!
Arianna put her hand out on my arm and forced me to stop. “Listen,” she said, her voice soft and intent. “Just because someone else—even someone you don’t like—wants you to do something, doesn’t mean it’s not your choice. Doing the right thing is still doing the right thing. And if you make the right choice, whatever that is, it’s still your choice, no matter who wants you to do it. They can never force you to. But you can choose to.”
I put my hands up over my eyes and breathed into them. “I need some time. I’m…I’m scared. Of all of it. I need Lend to wake up and be okay before I can think about any of this.”
“Okay.” She put her arms around me and leaned her forehead against mine. “But promise me you’ll think about it. Really think about it. I spent way too many years doing things just because my parents didn’t want me to, and I ended up dead. I know what I’m talking about. Promise me.”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice exhausted.
She hugged me close, then shoved me away. “Let’s go fix up the couch for Lend, then you need to take a shower. You stink like a faerie, all flowers and sunshine and evil manipulation.”
“I thought he was going to wake up again on the way here; he was stirring and starting to put on glamours. It shouldn’t be long.” David smiled tiredly at me after tucking Lend in, and I nodded.
I crawled on the couch and scooted in to Lend, spooning against the whole length of his body and tucking my head into his neck under the curve of his chin. I put his arm over my waist, taking comfort in its familiar weight.
Sleep was coming on heavy and desperately needed when I heard Arianna swear. “Where did you come from?”
Jack’s voice answered, whispering. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s okay.”
“She bloody did it.” His voice was filled with wonder and admiration.
“Stabbed the Dark Queen herself.”
He snorted. “Oh, she’s in for it now.”
“As usual, but—Crap, your feet, too, huh? Come on, out back. She needs to sleep.”
They padded away softly, and I slipped into slumber.
“Did you do it?” Vivian whispered, everything dark and hazy, her voice sounding far away. Usually she was right next to me, as real as life.
“I got Lend back.” I turned in a circle, but didn’t see her anywhere.
“Good girl.” She sounded happy, but her voice was getting farther away.
“Where are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can’t you be here? I miss you. I wish—I wish I could bring you back with me like I brought Lend.”
I could barely hear her now, like she was speaking from a great distance. “Why do you wish that? You shouldn’t.”
“But I do. Where are you going, Viv?”
“I don’t know, stupid. Just sleep.”
When I woke up my mouth was dry, my throat irritated, and my stomach grumbling angrily from neglect. I squeezed Lend’s hand where it was still draped over my stomach, but there was no response and it stayed as clear as water.
I rolled off the couch, turning to make sure he was still sleeping, still breathing.
“Wake up,” I whispered, leaning in and leaving a lingering kiss on his forehead. “Please, soon.”
With a sigh I took wincing steps out of the room and around the corner into the kitchen. David’s fridge wasn’t as well stocked as it had been when Lend and his enormous appetite lived here. I grabbed a loaf of French bread and sat heavily at the counter.
How long would it take Lend to wake up? And what if he never did?
No.
I couldn’t let myself think that, because if I thought it, it could become true. He would wake up. Soon. I looked up at the ceiling. I’d never had much religion in my life, but I knew for a fact there were things out there besides us. You couldn’t carry the soul of your mermaid best friend in your own body without knowing that.
“Hey, Universe?” My voice was soft, tentative. “If you’re listening, I need my boyfriend to wake up. If he wakes up, I swear I’ll do anything. I’ll open gates, I’ll help all the paranormals, I’ll never judge people wearing Crocs again. Just let him wake up. Please.”
“Well, good morning, bright eyes!” Jack’s voice came from the other room.
I sat up straight in shock, hearing Lend let off a string of swearwords. “Where is Evie? What did you do with her?” he croaked out, voice cracked and heavy with sleep.
Thank you, Universe! I shrieked with joy, falling off the stool and hitting my hip against the table. Careening off it, I ran back into the family room just to
see Lend’s head disappear again behind the back of the couch.
“Lend, you’re awake! You’re—” I stopped dead in my tracks having come around the edge of the couch to find Lend, once again, crystal clear and unconscious. “Lend? Lend!” Kneeling next to him I shook his shoulder, soft at first, then harder. He didn’t respond.
Standing, I turned and saw Jack staring at both of us, confused.
“What did you do to him?” I screamed.
“I didn’t do anything! He woke up and looked ready to kill me, business as usual, perfectly healthy. Then you turned the corner and it was lights out.”
“If you did anything…”
Jack raised both hands in the air. “Evie, I swear.”
I sat on the edge of the couch, Lend rolling slightly with my weight so his stomach was against my back.
Very funny, Universe.
I NEED A LITTLE SPACE
I sighed, knocking my head against my knees in time to my heartbeat. He had to wake up again. He had to. I’d been sitting here next to him for the last fifteen hours straight, eating on the floor, not even daring to go to sleep myself in case he woke again and I missed it.
A light hand came down on my shoulder. “Evie, you need some rest.”
I looked blearily at Arianna. “What if he wakes up?”
“I’ll sit here with him. If he so much as flutters an eyelid, I’ll come get you, okay?”
“I can sleep down here next to him.”
“You know you won’t be able to; besides, it’s too noisy.”
She had a point. Paranormals had been drifting in and out of the house. Vampires, werewolves, pretty much everyone that David knew through his underground organization had stopped by to offer help. The fact that it was night now actually increased traffic, due to the need for no sunlight and lots of secrecy. Besides David’s friends, there were all the weird ones, like the dryad who I kept catching watching us through the window.
Then there was the dragon, whose strange high voice could be heard drifting through the trees, answered by the banshees singing phrases that made me want to throw myself off the nearest cliff, or dig a hole six feet under the ground and go to sleep not only for a few desperately needed hours but for forever.
Yeah. No rest to be had down here.
“Promise you’ll come get me?”
She nodded and gave me a hand to stand up. I searched Lend’s face for any hints that he was going to wake up soon, but still, always, there was nothing. Brushing my lips against his, I sighed and left the room, tromping up the stairs.
I’d barely gotten to the top when Arianna shouted. “Evie! Evie!”
I turned so fast I tripped, falling down the stairs and landing at the bottom in a bruised but happy heap. “Lend?”
“Evie?” he called, his voice still hoarse.
Laughing, I got up from the floor and ran around the corner into the family room.
Just in time to see his glamour drop back off as he collapsed again onto the couch.
“No!” I screamed, darting forward and grabbing his head in my hands. “Not again! Don’t go back to sleep!”
I buried my face in his chest and curled his shirt in my fist. “Wake up, wake up, wake up.”
I heard Arianna’s soft steps shuffling away, but then she paused. “Evie, leave the room.”
“What? Why? What if he wakes up again?”
“Just walk out of the room. Go to the kitchen or the stairs or somewhere.”
“Ari, I—”
“Do it!” she snapped. Glaring at her, I wiped my eyes and stood up, walking into the kitchen and wondering why she’d lost her mind.
“Arianna, what on earth is going on?” Lend asked.
I turned and ran back into the room and Lend immediately dropped.
And so did my stomach and my heart. Oh, no. No, no, no. I looked at Arianna and she nodded. I turned and marched mechanically back into the kitchen.
Lend woke up again.
“Okay, this time we both keep our eyes closed,” I shouted from the stairs. Squeezing mine shut, I put a hand on the wall and felt my way into the family room.
“No good,” Arianna said. “He’s asleep again.”
“Bleep!” I screamed, opening my eyes and kicking the wall.
David put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. “At least he’s waking up at all,” he said softly.
I tried to nod, but I couldn’t. What good was a world in which Lend and I couldn’t be in the same freaking room? If there was a wall between us he’d wake up, but as soon as there was physical proximity, bam, unconscious Lend.
Shoulders slumped, I walked back out of the room and sat heavily on the bottom stair in the foyer.
“Evie?” Lend called.
“Yup.”
“Apparently that one didn’t work.”
“Nope.”
At least we could talk to each other. I’d already explained what happened in the Faerie Realms, telling him the whole tale of how I got him back. He hadn’t said much about what happened to him there, his voice catching every time he referred to the Dark Queen. I wished I could hold him and tell him it was okay now.
Problem was, if I was holding him, he couldn’t hear me.
Other problem was, it really wasn’t okay now.
“Did you eat or drink anything in Faerie?” I asked, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion.
“Again, no. Nothing. I knew the rules. I didn’t touch a thing. I wasn’t even conscious for long before…she…made me fall asleep. I guess I have a knack for annoying authority figures.”
I snorted, remembering how crazy he made Raquel when he was locked up at the Center. Raquel, Raquel, where are you? She should have called me by now. I was really starting to worry. Why didn’t I try to find her when I was in the Center?
Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around myself. “Yeah, true. You excel at obnoxious. It’s always been one of your most attractive qualities.”
I wished I could see him smiling. I was sure he would be. My cell phone beeped with a new message. From Carlee, of course. “Found perfect winter formal dress 4 u. is $$$ mite have to sell ur kidney will b worth it. call me bratt we need to tlk colors & decorations.” My finger hovered over the callback button, but I set the phone down sadly instead. No Winter Formal until I figured out how my boyfriend and I could actually be there together. Conscious.
I stood up with a sigh. “I’m going to go find Reth.”
“What? Why?”
“He might know something about this. I think…I think she cursed you, Lend. Reth might know how she did it or how to fix it.” Please, please let him know how to fix it. Talking to Lend through walls was not nearly good enough for me, and the idea that I’d never be able to see him awake face-to-face again made me…
I couldn’t even think about it.
“Don’t go alone,” Lend said, his voice tight with concern.
“I’ll take Jack.”
“Oh, wonderful, take the other psychotic guy in your life to go find the first one.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes, wishing I could run my fingers through his hair to mess it up. “Relax. They’re both behaving. Sort of.”
“Take Arianna.”
“That means Jack stays with you.”
There was a pause. “Fine. But don’t forget what I’m sacrificing for you.”
“You both realize I’m standing right here, don’t you?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow at me from where he leaned in the open doorway between the entry and the family room.
“We realize. We just don’t care. I’ll be back soon with answers, hopefully.”
Arianna left the room and handed me a coat. I zipped it up and, avoiding the doorway to the family room, walked out the front door into the cloudy night.
“Any idea where to find the pretty creep?” Arianna asked.
“I was hoping he’d be down by the pond with the rest of the menagerie.”
“Fair enough.” We stepped off the porch and a deliciously
warm hand took my own. I glared up at Reth.
“You needed me?”
“How did you know?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Was he eavesdropping?
“You radiate need, my love. I can always feel it.”
I sighed. “Can you fix my boyfriend?”
His smile lit up the dark night. “You really ought to know better than to ask a faerie for a favor by now.”
DECK THE STERILE WHITE HALLS
Reth watched as Lend passed out the moment I walked into the room.
“Interesting,” was his only comment.
“It’s faerie magic, right? Can you reverse it?”
His eyes caught the warm light of the family room so it looked like they glowed on their own. “I think we should see my queen.”
“Can you fix him or not?”
He paused, then pursed his lips, shaking his head.
I sank down against the wall, staring despondently at Lend. His arm had flopped over the side of the couch and his face was smashed into the cushion, pushing his lips out. I wanted to go over to him, but touching him wouldn’t help. I needed him to touch me. I’d never noticed how often he did, and missing his touch was a physical, palpable pain. Every inch of my skin ached, looking at him.
I needed to think. I wasn’t going to go back into the Faerie Realms to visit Reth’s queen. I didn’t care if she was the queen of the “good” court—they were all bad, and hers was the court that had let my evil, alcoholic (well, carbonationaholic, I suppose) father destroy my birth mother to make me and then forget about me. I wasn’t going to go to them for help.
If Reth couldn’t fix this magic…what was different? I clapped my hands together and jumped up. “Reth can’t fix this because he isn’t the same type of faerie! We need an Unseelie faerie!”
“I think—” Reth started, but I cut him off.
“No, if the Dark Queen cursed him, we need a dark faerie.”
Jack looked up at me from where he was doing a handstand in the middle of the room. “Brilliant! Want to hop on back to the Dark Court, then? Maybe if you ask really nicely, they’ll decide they don’t want to kill you.”
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