by Ella Sparkle
“Don’t jump to any conclusions just yet. Have you heard from him at all?”
“No. I turned my phone off last night and stuffed it in the bottom of my purse to keep myself from obsessively checking it.”
“That doesn’t do you a whole lot of good. What if he's been trying to call you?”
“What if he hasn’t?” I was quick to respond.
“Guess we won’t know unless you get your phone and turn it on,” Cassie challenged back.
I sighed and drank some more coffee before I got off the bed and grabbed my purse. I pulled out my phone and powered it back on. I chewed on my bottom lip as I nervously waited for it to load.
Nothing. No messages or calls from Nick.
I felt a fresh wave of tears start to stream down my cheeks. My heart felt like it was shattering into a million little pieces. I turned to Cassie, “Nothing. No text, no voicemail. Nothing. If something happened last night, why hasn’t he tried to contact me this morning?”
Cassie looked at me sympathetically. “I don’t know, sweetie. I was holding out for some type of explanation other than him ghosting you. He just doesn’t seem like the type. What are you going to do?”
“Well, considering what time it is, I think I'll run home, shower, and go to work. My shift starts at noon today.”
Cassie climbed down off the bed and came over to where I was sitting on the floor and hugged me. “I am so sorry, Jen. Check in with me any time today. I have an open house later this afternoon but will keep my phone on me. Unlike other people that we shall not speak of, I know how to use a phone and can respond to messages,” she said rubbing my shoulders.
I hugged Cassie back. I was so grateful for her in so many ways. “Thank you. You really are the best. Thank you again for letting me stay here last night.”
Cassie laughed as she stood up. “Girl! You know you are welcome to my guest room anytime. Unless I am about to get my groove on then I am going to have to ask you to sleep downstairs on the sofa since the guest room is right across the hall from my bedroom and that would be weird.” Cassie shimmied her hips a little as she walked towards the door.
I couldn’t help but laugh, even though I felt like crying. “You are so weird.”
“Ahhhhhhhhhh ... I think you mean weirdly perfect. Have a good day sweetie. I need to get ready for work, just let yourself out whenever you are ready to go.” Cassie blew an air kiss at me as she walked out of the bedroom door.
***
As I walked up the stairs to my apartment building I checked my phone again. Still nothing. I sighed as I resigned myself to the fact I wasn’t going to hear from Nick. I just needed to get ready for work and try to make it through the day.
When I turned down the walkway to my apartment, I saw something in front of my door. “That's strange,” I muttered out loud. I always had packages delivered to the main office of the complex so I had no idea what it could be. As I got closer, I realized the thing in front of my door was a bouquet of flowers. I picked them up and saw it was a dozen red roses. There was one of Nick’s business cards tucked into the flowers and on the back, it simply said, “I am so sorry.”
The flowers looked to be a tad bit wilted, like maybe they had been sitting in front of my door for a while. I went inside and put them in some water. I stared at the flowers in the vase. “Why would he put these here, and then not contact me? None of this makes any sense.” I chuckled. “I'm talking to myself again. I have officially gone all kinds of crazy.”
I toyed with the idea of sending another message to Nick or trying to call him but, ultimately, decided not to. Maybe after my shift. I was still so confused about everything and felt emotionally raw from last night. I just needed some time to sort out what I was going to do.
I got in the shower and as I stood under the warm water, trying to wash the night away, all I could think about was Nick. It was going to be a really long day.
Chapter 35
Nick
Dammit! I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my truck and realized that not only had I missed dinner, but by the time I got back to town, I would miss the movie as well. There had been talk of going out for drinks after the movie, but I had no idea where they were going. Jenna and I hadn’t seen each other for the last few days due to our work schedules, and although we spoke on the phone, I didn’t really get a whole lot of details about the events planned for the evening.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I slammed the palm of my hand on the steering wheel. I had completely screwed everything up. I knew the night was a big deal for Jenna since she was getting ready to leave soon and I really wanted to be there for her. What was supposed to be a quick meet and greet at the Rickson Estates property turned into the biggest, and longest clusterfuck. The investors had wanted to talk in extensive detail about the project and do a walk around of the site. It literally took hours. Turns out, some of the investors were considering pulling their funding and needed some reassurance about the project, something Clive had failed to mention on the phone call earlier in the day.
I wanted to text or call Jenna, but it wasn’t until we were way out into the middle of the property that I realized I didn’t have my phone. As a result, I was distracted for the rest of the meeting because all I could think about was Jenna. One of the investors actually called me out on it and made a snotty comment about "if I couldn’t give my full attention to the meeting, how could they be sure I would give my full attention to their building project." I think I recovered well from the question, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how Jenna had no idea what was going on. I had only sent her a really vague message earlier that I was working late and would catch up to them. At the time I sent it, I thought I was only going to be a little late, not miss the whole fucking night. I finally found my phone back by where everyone was parked, smashed to pieces. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I got out of my truck and someone ran over it as everyone was leaving. Fantastic, what a great end to a shitshow of an evening.
It was late and the whole situation was fucked up. I couldn’t help but remind myself that it was one of the many reasons why I had not dated since starting Blaine Construction. It was a no-win situation. I had been distracted by the investors on Jenna's night and I wasn't able to give the meeting my full attention because I was worried about contacting Jenna. I hoped, by some miracle, I had not totally fucked up Blaine Construction getting the project. I also knew I'd completely let Jenna down by not meeting up with her and her friends like I said I would. Basically, I had fucked up on both fronts. I didn’t want to potentially lose a big project for Blaine Construction and I didn’t want to lose Jenna either, but I had no idea how I was supposed to be involved with both things at once. Something was going to have to give.
As I drove into town, I kept mulling the question over and over in my mind. Jenna was going to be leaving in a few weeks. I didn’t want to lose her, but could I risk everything else to be with her? I thought of all the years of long nights and working seven days a week that had gone into getting Blaine Construction off the ground. Not to mention all of the people who depended on me for employment and all the different contracts I had going for different projects. I needed to focus on Blaine Construction, but as soon as I had that thought, Jenna’s face popped up in my mind and suddenly all the other stuff didn’t seem to matter. Fuck! I had no idea how to make all of it work.
I decided since I couldn’t call her, I would show up at her apartment and see if I could talk to her. I just needed to explain what happened. I stopped at a 24-hour grocery store and picked up a dozen red roses for her. I remembered from our picnic in the park those were her favorite. While I knew flowers were not going to fix it, I also knew I had to do something to show her she was important to me and how sorry I was about the shitshow I had created.
When I got to her apartment complex, I looked around and saw her car wasn’t there. I went up and knocked on her door just to be sure she hadn't gotten a ride home from one of her friends. It
was a little after midnight at that point, and I was sure they were still out getting drinks. I would just wait for her. I had to get everything straightened out, and the more time that passed, the worse it was going to be.
I sat down in my truck in the parking lot and waited. The longer I sat there, the more my head started to spin with ideas of where she was, and who she could be with. What if she thought I had just blown her off? What if she went out for a few drinks and then had gone home with someone else? That thought made me feel physically ill. Sometime around 2 AM, it became painfully clear she was not coming home. She obviously had to be somewhere with someone else. I dug around in my truck and found a business card. I scribbled a quick "I'm so sorry" message on the back of the card and stuck it in the flowers. I then took the flowers up and put them on her doorstep. Jenna had to come home eventually, and at least she would know I had been here. It was all I could do.
My heart was heavy as I walked back to the truck and drove home. In one night, I had probably lost two important things. Thing was, I had known all along I couldn’t have both, but I had been so wrapped up in being with Jenna I hadn’t been focused on what I needed to be doing. As a result, I had completely fucked everything up. I only hoped I could somehow fix this mess.
***
The next morning, when I went to get my phone situation fixed, I drove out of my way to go by Jenna’s apartment. Her car still was not in the parking lot. I parked and ran up to her apartment only to see the roses still sitting out in front of her door.
She hadn’t come home the previous night and still wasn’t back that morning. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. As I walked back to my motorcycle, all I could think about was that I had ruined everything with her. I felt an ache in my chest unlike anything I had ever felt before.
***
As soon as I got a new phone, I drove directly to Pete’s. I was pretty sure Jenna was working and I was desperate to see her. When I walked into the restaurant, the first person I saw was Mike standing behind the counter. Based on the look he was giving me, it was not going to go well.
I walked up to the counter, “Hey Mike. I was hoping that I could please see Jenna.”
Mike folded his arms across his chest and continued to glare at me. “No.”
“Please. Just tell her I am here. I need to see her.” I tried to keep my voice even, what was with this guy!
“I don’t think so, man. You had a chance to see and talk to her last night. If she wants to talk to you, she knows how to get a hold of you.”
I started to feel the panic and frustration that had been resting just below my surface bubble up. “You don’t understand! I screwed up last night and part of the problem was my phone!”
Mike raised an eyebrow at me. “Hummmmmmmmm... I see.” The tone of Mike’s voice made it very clear he thought I was full of shit.
I ran my hand through my hair as I closed my eyes and tried to take some deep breaths. I was trying really hard to keep myself from totally losing it right there in the restaurant. “Listen,” I took another deep breath, “I really need to talk to Jenna. Will you please let her know I am here? If she doesn’t want to see me I'll go.” Even as I said that last part out loud, I prayed it wasn’t the case. I didn’t know if my heart could take it if she said she wouldn’t see me.
Mike continued to look at me with great skepticism. “I will tell her you stopped by. That's the best I can do. After last night, consider yourself lucky I'm willing to do that for you. Now, I think it's time for you to leave.”
Part of me didn’t want to know but I had to ask. After having my thoughts spiral out of control all night, I hadn’t been able to rein them in. “Will you... will you at least tell me if she's okay? She didn’t go home to her apartment last night. Did she go home by herself?” I had to pause and take a deep breath. I closed my eyes as I almost whispered the next part. “Or did she go home with someone else? Did you see who she left with?” I tried to brace myself for whatever answer Mike would give me.
“Dude. Listen to me. Whatever happened with you was not cool. I don’t know what your deal is, but Jenna is not like that. She was upset last night so she stayed at Cassie’s house.” Mike was looking at me like I had totally lost my mind. Part of me wondered if I had. It wasn’t like me, at all, to get so worked up. It was just the thought of Jenna with someone else, true or not, cut me so deeply I didn’t feel like myself.
I let out a huge rush of air and grabbed the counter. “She was with Cassie? Thank god! Are you sure?” I was so relieved it felt like I was breathing for the first time since the previous night.
“Yes. Now I have already told you more than I should. It's time for you to go.” Mike’s voice was firm and with an edge to it I had never heard from him before. Honestly, I hadn't known he was capable of that sort of thing. Mike had always seemed to be completely calm and laid back.
I put both hands up and took a step back. “Fine. I'm going. Please just let her know I was here and that my phone situation is fixed.”
I turned and walked out the front door, not wanting to create any more problems than I already had. I took my new phone out of my pocket and looked at it for what felt like the millionth time that morning. Nothing from Jenna. It dawned on me she must have felt the same way the night before. It was a really fucking awful feeling. I swung my leg over my bike and sent her one more message trying to apologize. As the engine on my motorcycle roared to life, I hoped it wasn't too late to fix things with her.
Chapter 36
Jenna
I was in the kitchen at work waiting for my next delivery when I heard some raised voices coming from the front register. I immediately recognized the voices belonged to Mike and Nick. I remained frozen in place as I listened to their conversation.
When Nick finally left the restaurant, Mike came back into the kitchen where I was standing with tears running down my cheeks. “I am going to assume you heard most, if not all of that,” Mike said as he grabbed me into a big hug.
I buried my face in his chest. “Yes, thank you for being an overprotective, big-brother type. You can be such an ass and such an amazing person all at the same time.”
Mike chucked. “I guess that makes me the whole package.” I laughed into Mike’s chest. “Call him, Jenna. Hear him out and then make a decision about what you are going to do. Every story has two sides. Don’t just go with only half the information,” he said encouragingly.
“When did you get so wise?” I pulled away from Mike and started wiping my tears with the back of my hand.
“I think it was around the time I met this fiery redhead.” Mike’s face was beaming.
I looked at him for a moment. “You really like her don’t you?”
“She is everything I have ever wanted, a whole lot of things I never knew I needed, and now I can’t imagine living without her.”
“Wow, Mike. That is really sweet.” I was happy for Cassie. After everything she had been through, she really deserved to have someone good in her life. Mike was one of the good ones.
“She doesn’t know it yet, but she's it for me. She is my forever.” Judging by the look on Mike’s face, I had no doubt that when Mike said she was his forever, it was absolutely true.
“You guys have talked about marriage?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice. As long as I had known Cassie, getting married was never on her radar.
Mike chuckled. “Nope. Like I said, she doesn’t know it yet. I have known since the first time I saw her. Don’t worry, she'll figure it out.”
Now it was my turn to chuckle. “Good luck with that. I don’t know if Cassie will ever be tamed.”
“Now... back to you and Nick. Go call him, Jenna.” Mike waved his hand towards the break room.
“Alright,” I agreed. “I'll call him on break.”
***
A few hours later, I finally took my break. I went into the back, grabbed my purse, and pulled out my phone. I was surprised to see there were half a dozen missed cal
ls and several text messages. I scrolled through the missed call log. They were all from Nick and started at about the same time as my shift. My phone had been in my purse in the back the whole time. I clicked on the text messages and started to scroll through them. They were all from Nick.
“I am so sorry. I screwed up. Please call me, I need to see you.”
“I'm worried about you. I know this looks bad. I screwed up, but I don’t know where you are. Let me know you are OK.”
“I went to your apartment last night and waited to see you. You didn’t come home. You weren't there this morning when I came by. Please tell me you're OK and I did not screw this whole thing up.”
“I am so sorry. I know I fucked up. I am sorry. Tell me how to fix it.”
“Please contact me. My phone is working now. Jenna, I am so sorry about last night. Give me a chance to explain.”
I sighed as I read through all of the messages twice. I tapped out a quick message, unsure of exactly what to say. “Hi. I just got all of your messages and heard you came by Pete’s.”
Nick’s response was almost immediate. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear from you. I am so sorry. Please give me a chance to explain. Can I see you?”
I chewed on my lip for a moment as I remembered what Mike said about getting Nick’s side of the story. “My shift is over at 9 tonight. Are you free after?”
“Yes. Whatever time and place you pick, I will be there. Just tell me when and where.”
“I'll come by your place when I get off work.” I set my phone down and rubbed my eyes. I was starting to get a headache.
“Perfect. I will see you then. Thank you for meeting with me. I am so sorry about last night.”
I read the last message from Nick and realized I had no idea what to think. The only thing I knew for sure was that Nick and I had a whole lot to talk about. Not just about last night, but about the fact I was leaving in a few weeks for law school. There was just so much hanging out there in the universe I started to feel all jittery. I decided to send a message to Cassie. “Long story, but I am going to go see Nick tonight after work.”