by Ella Sparkle
I couldn’t really comprehend what it was Cassie was saying. “I need to go find him,” I said to no one in particular, I felt as though I were in a daze.
“Do you think that's a good idea? He literally just punched some random dude in the face!” Cassie’s voice was filled with worry as she maintained her grip on my arm.
I turned to her. “I'll be fine. I know he won’t do anything to me. I've never seen him like this. I don’t really know how this all happened.” I struggled to snap out of the feeling of being in slow motion, despite the people rushing around me attending to the guy Nick had punched. I know my voice sounded flat and monotone, but I just couldn’t seem to pull myself back together. All I could think about was finding Nick.
Cassie paused for a few moments before she let out a big sigh. “Be safe. If you don’t come back in or call me in thirty minutes, I'm coming out after you." I gave Cassie a quick hug. “Thanks, Cass.” I walked across the club and out the front doors. I had no idea what I was going to find or if Nick was even still around, but I knew I had to go find him.
Chapter 44
Nick
That was not how it was supposed to go. I looked down at my hand as it started to swell; shit. ‘This was not how it was supposed to go’ was the fucking understatement of my lifetime. As soon as I saw Jenna, I'd felt super weird and awkward. I didn’t know what to say or how to act, how do you act when you are trying to tell someone you are madly in love with them? I had no idea, but I’d guess punching some stupid fucker in the face was not on the list of acceptable behavior.
I’d been watching that asshole checking her out all night and I didn’t like it one bit. He was sitting behind her but across the room. She couldn’t see him, but I could from where I was sitting. I asked Steven about him. He had no idea who the guy was but had also noticed the creep leering at Jenna. I instantly hated the guy and wanted him to stay the fuck away from her. I had never been jealous or protective of anyone before, but when it came to Jenna... well, things with her were different.
When she went to get drinks and I saw the guy slither over to talk to her and then he was standing so close to her, well, I will admit, I lost my shit completely. I jumped up so fast I knocked my chair over and booked it across the room. He could say whatever he wanted to me, but the way he was talking to Jenna sent me right over the fucking edge. I hadn’t punched anyone like that in years. I grew up with Bax and his loud mouth and as a result, we’d been in a few scrapes over the years, but nothing that personal. I felt like such a fucking idiot for losing my shit in front of Jenna.
I was outside sitting on my bike looking at my hand, wondering if I could somehow fix things when Jenna walked up.
“Hey,” she said softly. I couldn't look up at her. I was too embarrassed and just couldn’t face her. I had completely ruined another night for her. I didn’t deserve to be with her. Maybe I was right staying away from relationships if that is what I turned into?
“Nick, look at me,” she said a little more forcefully. I couldn’t make myself look up at her. I knew I couldn’t handle it if she looked at me with disappointment in her eyes. “Okay. Fine. You want to act like a little kid and give me the silent treatment? Go on ahead. Have a nice night.” There was definite anger in her voice and I could hear her turn and start to walk away.
“Wait! I'm sorry. Please don’t go! Don’t leave like this!” I shouted after her. Perhaps it was the panic and desperation in my voice that made her stop in her tracks so suddenly. She stood there for a few moments before she turned and started walking back towards me.
“Nick, what the hell was that back there?” she demanded. I didn’t know quite how to answer. “No!” Jenna shouted. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to barely talk to me or barely see me for almost a week and then come here tonight and act like... like a jerk!” Her voice cracked and I could see her eyes start to glisten with tears which made me feel like an even bigger prick.
I had to say something to defend myself and try to salvage things. “I watched him check you out all night. He was sitting at a table behind you but he was directly in my line of sight. He was a fucking creep, Jenna. I didn’t want him hitting on you.”
Jenna crossed her arms and glared at me. “You don’t get to ignore me all night until another guy comes up and starts to talk to me. And you sure as heck don’t get to freak out and go all Hulk on him!”
“I couldn’t stand seeing him with you!” I answered quickly. Fuck, I had really screwed the whole thing up. I couldn't even look her in the eye. I hated seeing her so upset and it felt like nothing I said was going to make it any better.
“You are the one that does not want a relationship!” I could hear Jenna was crying as she shouted at me. I kept my eyes on the ground. I deserved her anger, but I couldn't stand to see her crying because of me. “Dammit, Nick! Look at me! What the hell is going on? Answer me!” Jenna said between sobs.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I jumped off my bike and in just a few strides was standing right in front of her. I held on to her upper arms - just touching her helped ground me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, and hold her, and kiss her, and tell her about everything, but then, I remembered all the reasons I couldn’t and knew there were even more reasons after what I'd just done. A powerful jolt of sadness ran through me and I could feel my own tears start to fill my eyes.
Dammit! I needed to get out of there before I fucked everything up even more. I let go of Jenna’s arms and backed a few steps away from her. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I whispered.
“What, Nick? What wasn’t supposed to be like this?”
“Everything. Every fucking thing was not supposed to be like this.” I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her. I wasn’t supposed to be so upset about her leaving. I wasn’t supposed to punch some fucking idiot in the bar over her. I wasn’t supposed to be hurting her and making her cry. I wasn’t supposed to be fucking everything up so royally.
“Nick, what are you talking about?” Jenna took a step towards me just as I took one towards her.
I put my hand on her cheek. She was so perfect and so beautiful. I wiped her tears away with my thumb; each tear pulled at my heart, knowing I was the reason she was crying. She didn’t need me and all my issues in her life... not when she was getting ready to fulfill her dream. I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to her lips. “I should go,” I whispered as I pulled away from her. I was so confused by everything I was feeling. Fuck, I was confused about the fact I was having so many feelings period. Everything that happened tonight only added to the confusion and I couldn’t understand anything, especially where things stood with us.
“Wait, what?” Jenna asked with a look of surprise on her face. If I waited any longer I wasn’t sure I could leave her. I had to go. I quickly walked past her and over to my bike. I looked at her for a few moments trying to memorize everything about her before I left.
I drove not thinking about anything but the road in front of me. I couldn’t think about what was behind me... it was too much.
I didn’t even realize where I was going until I pulled my motorcycle into one of the parking spots and killed the engine. I was at the bluff overlooking the city where I took Jenna the night we ran into each other at The Star and I first learned her name. I couldn't help but smile at the memory of her refusing to tell me her name, instead telling me to call her Pizza Girl. I wondered if, on some level, I had been in love with her from the very beginning and just had no idea at the time what it was. I was never supposed to fall in love with her, so how did it all happen? We were just supposed to be together for a short period of time, have some fun, and then go our separate ways.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that even if falling in love was not what was supposed to happen, the only thing that could help quiet my head was being with Jenna.
I needed her like I needed my next breath.
I had to go back. I had to see her. I had to apologize to her.
There was no doubt I was confused and scared shitless about the depth of my feelings for her, but I had no right to do what I had done to her. I needed at least one more night with her. What would very likely be our last night together.
I quickly fired up my bike and turned it around to head back to High Five. I only hoped that, once again, I was not too late to try and fix it... at least for tonight.
Chapter 45
Jenna
I stood on the sidewalk in complete shock as I watched Nick drive off on his motorcycle. I slowly made my way back inside as I tried to make sense of what had happened. I couldn’t believe he just left. He rode away and didn’t even look back.
When I got to the table, Cassie jumped up and launched herself at me wrapping me in a hug. “Thank god you're back! You literally had two minutes and thirty-six seconds until I was coming out to get you. What in the fucking hell happened tonight?”
I looked at Cassie with a blank expression. “I don’t know what happened. Nick was acting weird here at the table and then he punched a guy for talking to me. Outside, he wouldn't talk to me. When he finally did, he made virtually no sense. He mostly said he was sorry and that things should not have happened this way.”
“What about you? Are you okay?” Cassie asked as we sat back down at the table with the rest of our group.
“Yes... no... I don’t know. I am so confused. I feel like ever since we actually had the conversation about leaving for law school, everything has been all messed up.”
Steven was sitting across from me and leaned forward as he started talking. “For what it's worth, the whole time Nick was sitting over here next to me, he was pissed that guy was checking you out. When he saw that guy come up to talk to you, Nick totally lost it.”
That made me even more confused about what was going on. “Why?” I asked Steven. “Why wouldn't he even acknowledge me tonight, and then turn around and act like a crazy person when someone else did?”
Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I am not an expert by any means, but I think the guy really likes you and was incredibly jealous.
I shook my head. There was no way that could be right. “He made it very clear he does not want a relationship,” I told Steven.
“Does he want you out of his life? When you leave are things over?” Steven asked.
I let out a big sigh. “Not exactly. We talked about trying to keep in contact and see each other when we can.”
“That is your guy’s great plan?” Mike asked. “He is a successful business owner and you are going to law school... you two aren't idiots, but that, I must say, is a stupid plan.”
Cassie turned to Mike. “Their communication is shit.”
Mike nodded. “I can see that.”
“Oh, come on, Mike! Like you know the first thing about relationships and communication,” Steven argued back.
Mike leaned forward in his seat, “Hey! I'm in a relationship and...”
Cassie quickly cut Mike off, “Don’t make me reconsider that decision.” Mike leaned back but continued to glare at Steven.
What was with everyone’s short fuse? Kimmy clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “You guys are insane! Get back to Jenna and Nick. I need to see how this ends! Their drama is better than a soap opera!”
“Uhhhhh... thanks, Kimmy?”
Kimmy gave me a big smile. “No problem! Now, just to recap. Nick says ‘no relationship’ but is acting like a jealous crazy-person when it comes to Jenna. Jenna is confused by the mixed signals, but neither one of them is any good at communicating or expressing their feelings. Okay, now keep going!” Kimmy bounced up and down in her seat with excitement.
“Okay, thanks for that recap, Kimmy,” was all I could think to say. The whole situation was so weird. I was not the kind of person that led a life other people were interested in hearing about. Well, I had not been that kind of person before Nick. Why did he just leave the way he did? Did it mean things were over between us? The thought sent a chill through me.
“No problem!” Kimmy responded cheerfully. She was enjoying everything way too much.
Mike cleared his throat. “Have you considered that he may be totally into you but doesn’t know what to do about it?”
“I don’t know what to think about any of this,” I responded honestly.
“How do you feel about him?” Cassie asked.
I stopped to think a moment before answering. “I like him. A lot. I was not expecting to meet someone like him, and especially not now. The timing is awful, but it hurts that he doesn’t want to commit to us and see where it goes.”
“Have you told him that?” Cassie asked, although I had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what the answer was.
“What if he likes you too, but doesn't want to stand in the way of the plans you already had before you met him?” Mike chimed in. “I mean, you had everything pretty mapped out for law school before Nick was even in the picture.”
Oh boy. That actually made a lot of sense. “I hadn't considered that... but what if he doesn’t feel the same way and is just too nice to end things? Or what if he wants to have his cake and eat it too? Have me around when it works for him, but no real commitment?” My head was spinning with all the uncertainty.
Cassie looked at me and smiled gently. “Nick is the only one who can answer that, honey. You need to ask him.”
“Ahhhhhhhh!” I rubbed my temples. “All of this is too much! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have had about all the excitement I can take for one night. Thank you for coming out and for all the advice, but I'm ready to head home.” I just needed to get out of there. I could feel a headache coming on and I was so overwhelmed and confused, nothing seemed to make any sense.
Kimmy reached for her purse and stood up. “Me too. There is no possible way this night can get any better. Best to end on a high note.”
“Yeah, it's about time to head out.” Steven stood up as well.
I hugged everyone and thanked them again. As we walked out the front door together, we talked about making plans to try and get together again before I left. I was so wrapped up in the conversation it startled me when Kimmy started shrieking and pointing. “Holy shit! I did not think it was possible, but this night just keeps getting better! Jenna look!”
I slowly turned my head to see where she was pointing. My mouth immediately went dry and my heart rate exploded. I blinked my eyes twice just to be sure I was actually seeing things correctly.
There across the street from the front door of High Five was Nick Blaine leaning up against his motorcycle, legs crossed in front of him looking hotter than sin. We locked eyes and it felt like a whole conversation passed between us without speaking a single word. I could see he was just as confused and scared as I was.
As if there was some type of magnetic pull drawing us together, we started walking towards each other and met in the middle of the street. “Hi,” Nick said softly.
“You came back,” I whispered. I still could not believe he was actually there.
Nick ran his hand through his hair, looking incredibly nervous. He turned his gaze towards my face and I was drawn into his deep brown eyes. “I am really sorry about tonight Jenna... especially the way I left. I was totally out of line.”
“Oh,” I answered not really knowing what else to say. I knew we needed to talk, but in the middle of the road outside of High Five was not the place for that conversation. Instead, I looked down and saw his hand, which was starting to bruise and looked swollen. “How's your hand? Is it hurt?” I asked, suddenly concerned he had injured himself.
“It'll be fine.” Nick looked away from me for a minute and ran his hand through his hair again. He took a deep breath before he turned his head back to me and continued. “Look, Jenna, I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow or the day after that or at any time in the future. What I do know is that tonight, right at this moment, I need you. I need to be with you.”
“Oh, Nick...” I whispered. My
heart was racing.
“I realize I have absolutely no right to ask you this, especially with the way I acted, but will you do that? Will you be with me tonight?” The look on his face was so vulnerable, his eyes so hopeful.
Part of me knew it was a bad idea and that I was just setting myself up for more confusion and heartbreak. The other part of me did not care one bit and knew that in some strange way, I needed him just as much as he seemed to need me.
There was really only one clear answer. “Yes, Nick. I am saying yes. I want to be with you tonight.” Nick grabbed me and pulled me up against his rock-hard chest before he crashed his lips into mine. The kiss was filled with so much passion and longing. Everything around us seemed to melt away until it was just Nick and me clinging to each other in the middle of the street.
When Nick and I finally pulled apart we were both breathless.
“Uhhhhhh guys, I hate to break up this party for two, but you're in the middle of the street and blocking traffic!” Mike shouted at us from the sidewalk.
“Shhhhhh! Don’t interrupt them! This is amazing! I feel like I need a bowl of popcorn!” Kimmy bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.
I leaned into Nick. “Give me just a minute.”
“Okay.” Nick cupped my cheek in his hand and I rested my palms on his chest. I gave him a quick peck on the lips before I turned and ran over to Cassie.
“I'm going with Nick tonight.”
“I can see that,” Cassie replied. “Do you know what you are doing? Are you going to be okay?” Her voice was filled with genuine concern.
I answered her as honestly as I could, “Yes, I know what I'm doing and no, I don’t know if I'm going to be okay.”
Cassie shrugged her shoulders. “Fair enough. Be careful and don’t do anything I wouldn't do.”