“Don’t be silly!” said Lily, her voice more shrill than usual. “Of course, you’re coming. You wouldn’t abandon us now!” Sophie came over and slipped her hand into mine.
“Please?” she asked, raising beseeching eyes to my face.
I remembered telling Max that I could be brave when needed. This wasn’t the sort of situation I had had in mind but I couldn’t resist their pleading faces.
“Alright,” I said softly, pressing a hand to my forehead, “I’ll come.”
I hardly noticed our preparations or the walk down to the antechamber – all my energy was focused on not giving way to the pain. When we entered the room, Max came straight over to me.
“Are you alright, Alyssa?” he asked softly, concern in his voice. “You look pale.”
I smiled with an effort. “It’s just a headache,” I replied. “I’ll be fine.” I was pretty sure this was a lie but it was one I was telling myself, hoping to make it true.
We were announced like the last time and then the Lanoverian delegation was announced. Only the style of their dress had distinguished the members of the Northhelm delegation from Arcadians. The Lanoverians, however, had a much more golden skin tone. I remembered from my geography lessons that, unlike Northhelm, Lanover was located to the south and included a large archipelago of islands. The delegation was slightly smaller than the Northhelm one had been but the members were more richly dressed.
I was starting to feel dizzy by the time they had all filed in and was relieved to hear the herald bang his staff in preparation for the entrance of the Princess.
“Her Royal Highness the Princess Celeste Victoria Agnese Alessandra of Lanover,” he announced. A girl swept into the room and down the red carpet. She was wearing a stunning deep blue silk dress. It was tightly fitted with a trumpet skirt that flared out from mid-thigh into a long train. Her skin was golden and her dark chestnut hair was piled elegantly on her head, showing off the deep golden highlights.
I blinked several times and tried to focus. As she got closer I was forced to conclude that I was not hallucinating – Princess Celeste truly was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her perfect, symmetrical face and heard nothing of the king’s welcome speech. Only the sound of the orchestra starting up jerked me from my daze.
My head was pounding worse than ever and the dizziness was also getting stronger. I tried to step forward but found my limbs were no longer responding to my commands. I was sure I was experiencing a nightmare as I watched Max step forward to greet Princess Celeste, undisguised admiration on his face.
I felt sick. Literally.
“Lily,” I said softly, but when I turned the girls were gone. I looked across to where they were being introduced to the princess. I licked my lips and tried to call to someone but found I had lost my voice. A loud ringing in my ears was slowly drowning out the music and the royals in front of me disappeared, obscured by yellow clouds that were filling my vision.
Waves of heat rushed up and down my body and I felt a sudden, urgent need to lie down on the ground.
“Max?” I managed to call but only softly and then I felt my body crumple and everything went dark.
Chapter 22
My awareness of the throbbing in my head returned slowly.
I didn’t even try to open my eyes so it took me several more moments to realise that I was being carried in someone’s arms. I moved my head slightly, searching for a more comfortable position and heard Max’s voice say my name.
I forced my eyes to open and discovered that he was carrying me up the stairs towards the princesses’ tower. I stirred feebly in protest but stopped when it brought on another rush of dizziness. Like it or not I wasn’t going to be able to walk on my own.
“I’m sorry to be such a bother,” I whispered and then added, “Princess Celeste…” before trailing off.
“Don’t even think about it,” said Max, sounding almost angry. “Why didn’t you say you were sick?”
I looked up into his eyes and was touched by the worry I read in them. “Did I hit my head when I fell?” I asked, thinking that might explain the increased pain.
“No,” said Max shortly, “I caught you.”
“Oh,” I said, digesting this. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Alyssa,” he said softly. “I would never let you be hurt if I could help it.”
I smiled weakly at his words and then wished the pain would subside so I could enjoy the experience of being carried in Max’s arms.
If I was honest it was something I had imagined on more than one occasion but it was hard to find pleasure in anything when my head hurt so badly. I opened my mouth to say something but forgot what it was. Instead I fell back into darkness.
When I next woke I was lying in my bed. I didn’t know how much time had passed but I was roused by the sound of someone crying.
“It’s all my fault,” sobbed Lily. “She said she was sick but I made her go to the reception anyway.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said but my voice was so quiet that no one heard. “Don’t be silly,” I tried again, louder.
This time the sobs and the murmured voices quieted and Lily ran up to my bedside.
“Alyssa! Alyssa!” she cried. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry! Please don’t die.”
I laughed weakly. “I’m not going to die, foolish child. I’m just a little unwell. Don’t cry.” For some reason this just made Lily cry harder.
Nanny came into the room and put her arm around her shoulders. “There, there, pet,” she said, pulling Lily away. “You come away and let Alyssa have some rest and quiet.” She threw me a concerned look as they both exited the room.
“What’s going on?” I asked the two adults who were left in the room. I had never seen them before but recognised from their uniforms that they were a doctor and a nurse.
“I’m afraid you’re rather ill, Lady Alyssa,” said the doctor.
“I’m not a lady,” I said, inconsequentially.
“Yes, well, lady or not, you’ve got a very high fever. I’m afraid we’re going to have to move you. The risk of infection, you see…” He glanced towards the princesses’ room.
“Lily and Sophie!” I gasped. “Yes, you should move me at once.”
The doctor and nurse seemed relieved to find me so amenable and began to talk through the logistics in quiet voices. At first I tried to follow the conversation but my mind wasn’t working properly. Somewhere between phrases I drifted back into unconsciousness.
For a long, unmeasured time I drifted between dreams. Sometimes I could feel soft hands on my head or cool water in my mouth and often I heard familiar voices. But these blended together with the familiar voices I heard in my dreams and I couldn’t distinguish between what was real and what was fantasy.
At one point I crawled from family member to family member, begging for forgiveness. I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong but sensed that it was something terrible. One by one they turned away from me, their expressions cold and merciless.
At other times I felt my mother’s arms around me as she crooned a lullaby. Once I dreamed that I was back in my parent’s cottage, healthy with my family around me. At last, I thought, I’m home. And this time it isn’t a dream. I’m really here. When I woke, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. It had been a dream after all.
A voice called my name and I struggled to turn my head but I was already slipping back into another dream. For endless hours I chased through the castle, searching for something I couldn’t find. Sometimes my friends were just ahead of me, taunting or encouraging me onwards by turns, other times I was alone. Sometimes Lily and Sophie were behind me, begging me to stop but I ignored them.
Every time I threw open a new door I found a new party. The guests varied but Max and Princess Celeste were always there. Each time I found them, they were standing closer together until finally I found them embracing. I came to a stop, my searching over, and stared.
Slowly my horror was replaced with a sense of certainty. Look at them, I thought, the perfect couple.
Once again I felt my body crumple but this time I was falling upwards, into consciousness. I opened my eyes to see a familiar face bending over me.
“Mathilde?” I asked, my voice rough from lack of use. “What…? Where am I?”
“Alyssa!” Mathilde exclaimed. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”
“Where am I?” I repeated.
“You’re in one of the quarantine wards of the hospital suite.” I looked around and saw that I was lying on a thin bed in a small, plain room. “You’ve been feverish for five days but the fever broke this morning.”
“Five days?” I said feebly. “But what are you doing here?”
“I’ve been nursing you,” she said cheerfully, bringing over several more pillows and helping me to sit up slowly. Once she had propped me up she held a glass of sweet liquid to my mouth. I screwed up my face but she made me drink it.
“I don’t understand?” I said, finding it hard to follow a train of thought. “Why have you been nursing me?”
“I volunteered,” she explained. “You needed someone in constant attendance and everyone knows that we’re friends. The actual nurses and doctors helped as well of course.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I said. “Other than thank you.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” she said. “In fact, I think you’ve done me a favour. The head nurse said I did an excellent job and hinted that she’d accept me if I wanted to start an apprenticeship. Nursing is a big step up from being a housemaid!”
I smiled at her happy plans for the future but I didn’t forget my own guilt. It hadn’t only been my family I had abandoned in the last couple of months. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had spoken to Mathilde and yet, here she was, risking infection herself to care for me.
I reached up one weak hand and gripped her arm. “Thank you,” I said again, meeting her eyes steadily.
“You’re welcome, Alyssa,” she said, equally seriously. “And now, you need to get back to sleep.” She removed the pillows and carefully lowered my head back down.
“More sleep?” I asked, aware of how weak I was but feeling fractious.
“Don’t worry,” she reassured me, “this sleep should be different. Fewer dreams.”
“Dreams?” I looked up at her sharply. “Did I talk during my sleep the last few days?”
“You moaned about all sorts of things,” she said, “mostly your family. And you spent a lot of time searching for something.”
I could read the prevarication in her eyes and groaned.
“Don’t worry,” she repeated, “no one heard much but me and I won’t say anything.”
Flat in the bed again, I sunk back into sleep – if only to escape from my embarrassment.
When I woke up again I could tell that many hours had passed. I felt significantly stronger than I had the first time which gave me hope that I was truly recovering.
Mathilde was still in the room but this time Lily and Sophie were with her. The two girls stood side by side looking at me with such identical expressions of concern that I managed a short laugh.
“You really are better!” cried Sophie, smiling in response to my laugh.
“This is the first time they let us see you,” said Lily quietly. “We thought you were going to die.” Her eyes looked tired and sad so I took her hand.
“Well I didn’t die,” I said with a smile. “And I hope you’re not still blaming yourself. This would have happened whether or not I went down to the reception.”
She nodded and smiled but the seriousness lurked behind the smile.
“I’m glad they wouldn’t let you come,” I added, “I would hate for you to get sick because of me. I suppose I’m not contagious anymore.”I looked at Mathilde for confirmation and she nodded.
“All your friends wanted to come see you but they wouldn’t let anyone in,” said Sophie. “Not even your cousin when he came to ask after you. He said that it was your birthday and they’d been expecting you down at the Blue Arrow. You didn’t tell us it was your birthday!”
I had completely forgotten about my birthday and now realised with a pang that I had turned eighteen with only my fever dreams for company. I felt another pang when I realised that Aunt Corilyn and Harrison must have had a birthday dinner waiting for me. I wished I had woken up in time to send them a message.
“They wouldn’t let your cousin come in to see you,” said Lily quietly, “but when Max heard it was your birthday he stormed down here. He said that he was the prince and they couldn’t tell him what to do.”
She looked at me steadily but for once I couldn’t read what was in her eyes. I looked over towards Mathilde and she nodded.
“He forced his way in here over our protests,” she confirmed. “He sat with you all night and in the morning your fever broke. That was two nights ago now, though. He visited during the day yesterday when he heard you’d woken up but you were already sleeping again and he didn’t want to disturb you.”
I blushed and turned my face away. “It’s so lovely to see you girls,” I said, “but I’m very tired and I think I need to sleep again now. Come visit me tomorrow?”
Both girls agreed that they would and allowed Mathilde to usher them out of the room. I knew I was being cowardly but I needed time to process their words.
Unfortunately all I managed to do was conjure up a picture of Max’s face before my words came true and I drifted back into sleep.
The next day I managed to stay awake all day and received a visit from not only the twins but also Felix, Nate, Beth, Helena, Max and even Harrison. Mathilde kept each visit short but she said she didn’t have the heart to refuse any of them.
“They’ve been so worried,” she explained.
A letter even arrived from Princess Marie saying she had heard I was sick and hoped I was now recovering. It was the third letter I had received from her since her departure and I was touched by her concern.
Each of my visitors brought me flowers so my room no longer looked bare. Mathilde hadn’t said anything more about my feverish ravings but she silently arranged the flowers so that it was Max’s bouquet of pink roses that sat on the small table beside my head.
I also said nothing but I tried to communicate my gratitude with my eyes.
Each day I slept less and less and I quickly grew bored. My friends visited when they could but the court was once again caught up in the whirl of a visiting delegation and they had little free time.
The hours of the day dragged by and I found it almost impossible to keep my mind from dwelling on the Lanoverian delegation. If I wasn’t picturing Princess Celeste smiling up at Max with her perfect lips and sparkling eyes, I was worrying over her possible duplicity. I wondered if the king had had his intelligence chief hide in the little room with Markus while he had his meeting with the delegation head.
Mathilde could see that I was fretting myself back into a fever so she brought me books from the library. The books were a welcome distraction but I couldn’t read for too long without getting a headache so Mathilde spent hours reading to me or chatting to me about her family and her life in Arcadie. I learnt more about Mathilde during that second week of the Lanoverian visit than I had in the whole three months at the Winter Castle.
Mathilde had obviously recovered from Claud’s treachery and I noticed that one of the young intern doctors seemed to be regarding her with interest. He didn’t speak much himself but Mathilde told me that he was here on a medical exchange.
From her comments about him I gathered that she returned his interest but she said much less about Aldric than she had said about Claud. Occasionally I would gently tease her and she seemed pleased that I had noticed his interest but she refrained from the giggling that had punctuated her infatuation with Claud. It made me a little sad but it also made me realise we were growing up.
For myself
I was starting to view the world differently. My understanding of people had always been good but I was now learning to value them in a deeper way. I realised that I had been using my insight to benefit myself and I resolved to be less self-absorbed in the future.
Of course, these lofty ideals had a tendency to fly out the window when I was bored and tired and sore from lying so long in bed. I was lucky that Mathilde was such a cheerful nurse.
The final night of Princess Celeste’s stay arrived at last and was attended by the requisite ball. I was still much too weak to attend but Lily and Sophie came to visit me on their way to the ballroom.
“Have you grown?” I asked them, a furrow in my brow. “You look older somehow.” Both girls smiled proudly and Sophie said she thought they might have grown a little since winter.
“Well, something’s changed,” I said, although I wasn’t actually sure if it was a physical change.
Mathilde and I said nothing to each other about Max or Princess Celeste as we talked over the ball and the possible dresses at length. But I noticed she kept making excuses to leave the room. She returned from her third such excursion with a smile.
“The king made his speech,” she said. “There was no engagement announcement.” I couldn’t keep back the smile that spread across my own face and for a moment we just grinned at each other.
“Have you heard what Princess Celeste was wearing?” I asked finally and we launched into a discussion of her various outfits. I was now perfectly willing to marvel over her incredible beauty and to discuss which of the courtiers had fallen madly in love with her.
“She’s the most stunning princess I ever imagined,” agreed Mathilde. “But you know,” and she dropped her voice to a whisper, “they say her head is completely empty.”
“Really?” I asked, not even bothering to hide my delight.
“Completely empty!” confirmed Mathilde. “Dumb as a doorpost, in fact.”
The Princess Companion: A Retelling of The Princess and the Pea (The Four Kingdoms Book 1) Page 20