by Con Template
His words acted as a sledgehammer that pummeled every nerve in her body into smithereens. Subconsciously, a part of her knew it would come to this, but that didn’t mean it was easier to listen to it. It didn’t mean it was easier to fight through the unrelenting need to fall to her knees in agony and experience it.
Her heart clenched while he continued to speak. Yoori tried to shut him out, but she heard and felt everything. She heard him and she felt every part of her body shatter upon hearing him speak about her leaving for good.
“I’ve arranged everything for you . . . all three of you. I’ve transferred all the money you’ll ever need into your accounts. I’ve placed calls to my contacts all over the world as a favor for them to watch over you. They can’t protect you, but they’ll do what they can for you so you have to be smart about where you go and where you are seen.”
Yoori shook her head, unable to contain the cancer-like flood ravaging within her. “Tae Hyun, don’t do this—”
“By the time I return from Ju Won’s party, I expect every shred of your existence in my life to be gone,” he persisted, ignoring her plea. “Never come back to Korea, and wherever you choose to go, if you hear that I’m near, then you’ll be smart to keep out of my sight. Because the next time I see you, I’m bypassing the courtesies and I’ll take care of you as I should take care of you.”
Yoori knew what he meant by that and despite all the coldness and hatred he was shooting her way, she was certain he would never be capable of even laying a finger on her. It was clear to her what he was trying to do.
“Could you really kill me?”
There was skepticism in her voice. It was a skepticism that Tae Hyun caught and one that pissed him off.
“I’ve killed my own brother for raping my baby sister,” he told her coldly, his eyes overflowing with hostility. “What makes you think I won’t kill you for killing my mother? What makes you think that you’re worth anything to me that I won’t pump bullets into your skull?”
“Why are you having me leave the country then? Why not kill me now?”
His posture stiffened at her question. “I once promised to protect you with all that I had.” There was regret in his voice. “This is the first time I’m eating my own words, and I’m doing what I can for you. Take advantage of this moment and get out of my sight before I change my mind.”
Breathing past the aches in her chest, Yoori approached him, her eyes never straying from his. He didn’t move from where he stood, but she could feel his body go rigid in her near presence. It was as though he was bunching his muscles to keep from reaching out to her, perhaps to hold her in his arms like he always did. She ignored this hopeful thought and kept approaching him.
When she reached him, Yoori felt the warmth radiate from his impassive and hard body. Gathering her breath, she reached behind him, lifted his suit up, and pulled out one of his silver guns. The dangerous coldness of the weapon frosted her skin.
“Kill me now,” she urged, placing the gun in the palm of his hand. She gazed up at him challengingly, calling out his bluff. “Finish it now and make it easier for the both of us.”
“You think I wouldn’t?”
With lightning reflexes, Tae Hyun grabbed her shoulder and pushed her up against the wall, holding the barrel of the gun underneath her chin. His face contorted with rage that she was stupid enough to even dare him to kill her.
“You think you have me in the palm of your hand, don’t you? That I could never hurt you because you mean something to me?” He smirked and then laughed cynically to himself. “Guys make idiotic girls believe that, Choi Yoori. When they want to fuck you senseless, they make you believe that so they could get into your pants. I’m no different from Lee Ji Hoon; I’m as much of a ruthless bastard as he is. You were stupid enough to believe he was a good person, so what makes you think you won’t make the same mistake with me?” His words stabbed her like knives. “What makes you think that none of this is an act and that I’m not lying to you like I lied to you the last time, when I used you because of your ‘resemblance’ to Soo Jin? What makes you think I’m not making a fool out of you again?”
Seeing the sting that enveloped her eyes at the reminder of how he broke her the first time around, Tae Hyun went on, pushing the gun tighter against her chin to show her how serious he was being. Though the force of his hold on her was strong, she could feel Tae Hyun straining his muscles and using all the willpower he had to not use his full strength on her. Despite the threatening tone in his voice, she could still sense his unwillingness to hurt her. She could still sense his instincts to protect her.
“Don’t push me,” he growled. Rage tormented his irises while he stared down into her brown eyes. “You have no idea of the things I’m capable of. I’m letting you go now, and if you’re smart, you’ll stay away from this world, and you’ll stay away from me.”
Yoori was silent while she searched his eyes with hers. “This is all I’m worth to you?”
“You’re worth nothing to me,” he corrected tightly, his body for some reasoning stiffening, as if in disagreement with what he said. “You’ve been nothing but a distraction for me, but I’m seeing things clearer now. The only thing that matters is my throne in the Underworld. Fairytale endings with a stupid, naive girl didn’t mean anything and will never mean anything to me.”
“Prove it,” she challenged, unfazed by his words. Yoori pressed her chin onto the barrel of the gun underneath her. She didn’t believe a single word he said. “Show me how worthless I am to you.”
Confliction marred his eyes while the muscles in his jaw bunched up with tension. His breathing grew heavier, yet he didn’t allow any outward expressions to betray how he felt.
“Close your eyes,” he finally said. “Close your eyes now, and I’ll take care of it.”
Yoori did as she was told and closed her eyes.
The last sight of Tae Hyun’s cold eyes became imprinted in her mind.
Soon, silence cascaded over them.
Yoori felt him press the gun closer against her skin. The coldness of the weapon stole any warmth within her, and she could hear his finger trailing over the trigger, as if counting down the seconds to finally shoot her.
Then, she heard him curse at himself for what he was about to do.
In a swift instant, the coldness that canvassed over her was replaced with warmth, blissful warmth that rocked every cell in her body. A bang occurred, but it wasn’t from the gun. It came from an impulsive Tae Hyun who relinquished his control and finally allowed his emotions to run free as his lips nipped hers with indisputable love.
He pulled her tight against him, holding her with such care that Yoori knew he only threatened to kill her so that she would leave him. Tae Hyun was angry, there was no denying that. He was angry at Soo Jin, but he was angrier at himself for not being able to hate Yoori. She had broken him and she knew that. He may have wanted to hate her, but that didn't mean he truly did.
In a fluid motion, his strong hands framed her jaw and then feathered over her cheeks. Yearning filled him and enraptured her. His caresses soothed her while his sensuous lips pressed against hers, mending all the pain she felt while white-hot flames riddled over her body.
They kissed like lovers once separated; they kissed like lovers about to be separated.
It was so heavenly that she wanted to cry. Breathing felt like a waste of time as she nipped his delicious lips with hers, seeking to make their moment last forever.
Pain became intermingled with bliss while they kissed. If she ever had any doubts in her mind about how much he loved her, then it was all squashed by the ecstasy he scattered over her in his kiss. A man wouldn’t kiss the way Tae Hyun kissed her unless he was in love. Yoori knew, despite how he tried to fight it, that Tae Hyun was unquestionably in love with her, just as she was with him.
“God, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Yoori could’ve sworn she heard Tae Hyun say this, but the knowledge of whether he
voiced this or not was lost when he picked her up and threw her onto the soft bed. His desperate lips continued to seek her aching ones. He leaned on his elbows while she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. Even under the confines of the suit, she could still feel his hard muscles ripple underneath the expensive fabric, every nerve of his enticing body bunching in approval of her touch.
A multitude of emotions stampeded over her, yet the forerunners were the love and pain she felt while he kissed her. There was so much hopelessness and ardor in his kiss that it broke her. In that moment, she could feel his frustration, his unsounded desperation, and worse of all—his heartache.
Tae Hyun did not kiss her like she was worth nothing to him; he kissed her like she was worth everything to him. He kissed her like a man who was about to lose everything.
Unable to maintain her composure, Yoori finally permitted her emotions to wash out with his. She desperately kissed him and held on to him. She didn’t allow tears to fall, yet inwardly, she was crying like there was no tomorrow.
“I’m sorry,” Yoori uttered through her misery. She opened her eyes. “I’m so sorry about what she did—what I did.”
He moved his lips to her collarbone, traced kisses up the column of her neck, and then kissed the soft skin of her chin, as if apologizing for even daring to place a gun there.
Tae Hyun did not say anything while she spoke, but she could feel the torture he felt while her words came over him. She could feel the lingering ache in his fading kisses, yet he continued to hold her close to him. It was as though he was savoring the sensation of loving her body one last time.
“Anyone else can punish me for what Soo Jin did, but please don’t punish me. Please don’t punish me for things I can’t control. Please don’t leave me over this,” she begged breathlessly, knowing what he was doing while he kissed her like a man possessed.
He was letting her go.
He was using this moment as the last one to remember her by and he was letting her go.
It was a kiss between fire and water, one that exploded with passion and one that would fade into nothing but heartache once the flames died out.
“Please,” she begged, unable to fathom going through the rest of her days without her partner-in-crime by her side. Who was she going to bicker with? Who was she going to laugh with? Who would she joke around and wear handcuffs with? Who else would be there and talk to her from night until midmorning? Who else would hold her in his arms and make her feel like it was the safest place in the world to be? Who else would steal her heart if he already had every inch of it?
“Please, Snob,” she whispered in a broken voice, never wanting to lose the one person who made her love her life so much. “Please don’t do this to us.”
At her plea, Tae Hyun stopped kissing her.
He no longer allowed himself to be lost in the moment.
She felt him exhale excruciatingly after hearing her use his nickname. Agonized and torn with himself, Tae Hyun refused to make eye contact with her while he nuzzled his cheek against the side of her neck like a brokenhearted wolf.
His breath lingered on her skin.
Tae Hyun did not speak, but she could hear his words and feel his pain by the way he breathed. He did not want to kill her, nor did he have the heart to hurt her. Yet, what saddened her was the fact that despite all of this, despite his feelings for her and regardless of how much pain he felt, he was still leaving her.
Then, what killed her more was the fact that when he pressed his cheek against her neck, she could feel a single teardrop transfer over from his skin to hers. Yoori began to shake. Every nerve in her body screamed out in tears at the thought of him, the revered King of the Underworld, the chosen God of this ruthless society, finally becoming human for her.
She lost it as well.
Tae Hyun would only cry if he lost someone he loved. She imagined he had only cried three times in his life—once for his father’s death, once for his mother’s death, and once for his brother’s death. And now, the fourth time was for her; because even after becoming human for her, he had to become a God again and give her up.
Yoori lost it and allowed her tears to run free. She cried for herself, she cried for him, she cried for them, and she cried for everything they stood to lose because they fell for each other. She cried because it was evident he had made his decision.
“. . . Find someone else, Yoori,” he said long moments later, confirming her worst fears. He lifted himself up while finally staring into her eyes. “Go somewhere where no one knows you, find a man who has no connections to the Underworld, be with him, marry him, have a family with him, and lead the life you were always meant to lead—a long, safe . . . and happy one.”
The ache in his voice from knowing that he couldn’t be this man for her tortured Yoori.
“I don’t want anyone else,” she argued desperately, feeling like he was ripping her heart from her chest. “I want you. I only want you.”
Tae Hyun did not say anything when she voiced this. He merely stared at her, a million different emotions plaguing his features. There was unbridled grief in his gaze; it was one that mirrored every inch of hers. The only difference was that there were no remnants of tears in his eyes. He had kissed her to hide his pain; he had kissed her until his own tears dried before he allowed his wounded gaze to meet hers.
Then slowly, reluctantly, he brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it with his fingers, relishing in the feel of her warm skin before the end.
“Kang Min and Jae Won are waiting for you beside the elevator,” Tae Hun finally said, swallowing tightly while pulling his hand from the warmth of her cheek.
“No! Don’t do this!” Yoori cried, getting up with him while trying to grab his arm. She couldn’t let him leave. Oh God, how could she let him leave like this?
“Once you leave, never contact me again,” he continued, closing his eyes in brief pain while whipping his arm away from her grasp. “We’re done.”
He was heading for the door when she broke apart and finally shouted out, “You told me that it would be worth it!”
Tae Hyun paused in his position at her scream.
His back was faced toward her, and it was clear he was listening to every word.
Yoori went on, never feeling more broken as she stood beside the bed, hot tears embellishing her eyes.
“I told you I didn’t want to be with you because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but you told me it would be worth it!”
Pain rippled through her while she shook and shook. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. They were supposed to be stronger than this. They were supposed to fight through this. They were supposed to make it through this.
“How could you do this now? How could you give up on us after all that you promised me?”
“I was a fool then,” Tae Hyun answered her, his voice softer and more miserable than she had ever heard it. “I should’ve never told you that I would never fault you for the things Soo Jin did when I didn’t know that my own mother was murdered by her. I should’ve never promised you the world when I’m bound by the laws of this world—by the laws of my gang—to avenge my family if anyone dares to kill them. I should’ve never told you that it would be worth it when I didn’t know how impossible it was going to be.”
He lowered his head and stared at the ground, misery enveloping the powerful aura that continued to radiate from him.
“No matter how much I try to tell myself that you and Soo Jin are completely separate entities, I know deep down that you’re one in the same. This couldn’t have been more obvious with how you acted at the warehouse, when you fought Jin Ae. This couldn’t have been more obvious when we came back to the apartment and you began to stare at me like I was an obstacle in your way, like I was your enemy.” He took in an excruciating breath. “She’s part of you, just as you’re a part of her. And the simple fact is, she killed my mother. I’ll never forget that; I’ll never forgive that. It doesn’
t matter how much I want you. It’ll never matter because in the end . . . I’ll never love Soo Jin.”
Yoori’s soul ripped apart while her world shattered at the enormity of his last words.
“I’ll never love Soo Jin.”
It repeated in her mind and slashed at all the remaining hope in her already weak body.
Every nerve, cell, and atom in her body felt the pain and reality from his words. The mind-numbing pain was released and Yoori began to drown within it.
In the past, she had always tried to separate herself from Soo Jin. Yet after hearing his words, it was clear now how impossible that task was. No matter how much she hated her past self, the ultimate truth was that she was still Soo Jin in every possible way.
It was impossible; it was impossible for them to be together now and she realized that.
How could she continue to fight it when her past self was the one who hurt him first? How could she fight it when her past self was the one who murdered his mother and took part in destroying his family? How could she force him to stay with her when he didn’t want to be near Soo Jin?
It was the one obstacle they couldn’t overcome.
Soo Jin.
They could never overcome Soo Jin.
With one lingering stare on her, as if to catalog the memory of her in his mind, Tae Hyun inhaled deeply, relinquishing all the emotions he showed her in this room while reverting his expression back to the emotionless visage he walked in with.
He had a party to attend, a world to rule over, and a future to save.
He had no more time to be distracted with her.
“Make it easier for us,” he said to her with finality, pain displaying one last time in his eyes before he turned away from her. “Just leave and don’t come back.”
Helpless and destroyed, Yoori watched in silence as he stalked into the hallway, treaded into the living room, and then left the apartment without another word to her.
They were done.
They were done.
It was only after she heard the door click close did Yoori renounce the last of her strength and collapsed to the ground, finally allowing her violent sobs to tear from her chest. She shook and covered her face with her quivering hands, finding it harder and harder to breathe.