by Mel Odom
Jherek flushed red, feeling the burn across his cheeks, like he'd faced the wind for an entire shift at the tiller. He gazed past her, noting a small group of white heggrims flying low around the cog. The birds kept pace with the ship, waiting for any garbage that might be thrown overboard.
Finaren's Butterfly skimmed smoothly across the water, rocking back and forth across the swells. The ship's colorful sails gave her her name and the few remaining that weren't damaged from the recent storm belled out, catching the wind. Other hands hung in the rigging, repairing the storm damage.
"So how much for a few hours of your time, boy?" she asked again. "I'm willing to pay you, though after the way I've seen you mooning after me, I know I wouldn't have to."
It was his fault. Jherek dropped his eyes from hers, no longer able to look at her even out of politeness. She had caught him gazing at her. It was his ill luck that had followed him all of his life showing itself again. There was never a day that he wasn't forced to remember that it dogged his every step. His tongue felt thick, and no words came to it.
"I have heard you called Jherek," she said. "Is that your name?"
"Aye, lady." Jherek struggled to get the words through his tight throat. "If I've offered you any affront, I apologize. The captain would have the skin from my back for such a thing."
She smiled. "I've no doubt that he would. Your Captain Finaren seems a man the Amnian can easily understand. His life revolves around his bottom line, and how well he can line his pockets, but you've offered me no affront."
Jherek felt relieved, only wanting to scurry up the rigging and get away from the woman's gaze. He'd fought pirates and sea creatures for the future of Finaren's Butterfly, but he felt naked and outmatched talking to the woman.
"Thank you, lady."
"Yet," she added, lifting both brows again. Curious lights, like embers, flew through her dark eyes. "Would you deny me the pleasure of your company then, young Jherek?"
"Lady, I have no way with social graces, and I lack in my education," Jherek said honestly. He knew he was lying, though. Madame litaar and Malorrie had seen to his education since he was twelve, and they had both been demanding taskmasters.
"I'm not looking for a gifted conversationalist, Jherek."
Yeill swirled her cape around herself, revealing the lean body cloaked beneath. "My father has done well with his trading in Baldur's Gate. I can afford to be generous."
"There are many other crewmen," Jherek said.
"You are by far the most handsome."
Jherek flushed again. Never had a woman been so shameless in her pursuit. Even the scullery maids of the Figureheadless Tavern along the eastern dock walk in Velen were not so forceful.
"Perhaps you've not seen me in good light, lady," he said.
"Can it be?" she asked with obvious delight. "Handsome and modest?" She wrinkled her brow, then a smile dawned on her crimson lips. "Or is there more to it?"
Jherek shouldered the rope. "I have to get back to work, otherwise it will be the barnacle detail for a month for me if the captain finds me dallying."
Yeill's voice sharpened. "You'll stay here till I say you can go, boy."
Part of the old resentment at being unfairly commanded and ordered welled up in Jherek, and it almost loosened his tongue before he seized control of it. "Aye, lady."
"My father hired this ship and all the men aboard it to see to our needs during our voyage," the Amnian woman stated. "That work won't be shirked."
Jherek bowed his head, using the motion to break the eye contact. "Aye, lady."
"How old are you, boy?"
"Nineteen."
"Yet you are only a deckhand, not a mate."
"I've not had the promise of potential."
"Then your captain lacks ability in picking his men. When the storm wracked this ship yesterday morn, you were the first to climb up into the rigging and cut the ropes to save at least some of the sails."
"I don't think I was the first." Jherek knew that he was, though. The rigging held no fears for him, even in the worst of storms.
She ran her eyes over him again, lingering on the apron across his narrow hips. "Tell me, boy, have you never been with a woman before?"
Jherek steeled himself and faced her. His answers had to be his own and truthful, and she was demanding them. "No."
She stroked his face with the back of her hand. "With your looks, that has to be by choice."
Jherek reached up and captured her hand in his, then slowly removed it from his face. "Aye."
"You do like women?"
"Not all of those I've met," Jherek told her, skating the thin line of insubordination, "but in the way you mean, aye."
"Do you find me unattractive then?"
"I think you're a very beautiful woman."
"So you're content to merely look at me?" Her gaze mocked him.
"I don't know you," Jherek said, "nor do you know me."
"I'm willing to get to know you," Yeill stated forcefully, "and pay you for the opportunity."
"I'm not for sale. Not that way." Jherek released her hand and took a step back, just out of her reach. Nausea touched his stomach in response to her offer.
"Ridiculous," the Amman woman snapped. "Everyone is for sale."
"Not me," Jherek said.
She raked him with her fiery eyes. "You tread in dangerous waters, boy. Maybe you don't remember who you're dealing with."
"I remember."
"Do you realize the insult you offer me, boy?"
"There's no insult intended. You asked for something that I'm not prepared to sell."
"You think so much of it, then?"
Jherek wished he could have said more. She would have understood had she been where he'd been, had lived on as little as he'd been given in his early life. There was so little left that was truly his.
"What you ask for can't be bought, lady, only given."
"You speak of hearts, boy."
"I speak of love."
She laughed at him derisively and asked, "You believe such a thing exists?"
"I want to believe," Jherek said. In truth, he didn't know, but he wasn't prepared to settle for anything less than the true love Malorrie's tales had told of.
"A fool believes in love."
He let some of the anger out then, in his own defense. "You would trouble yourself over a fool, lady?"
She smiled at him, prettily, but her eyes were hard and cutting as barnacles. "If he had a handsome face and a soft touch," she answered, "and I had the price. Trust me, boy, I do have your price."
Jherek settled the ropes more securely about his shoulder. "Lady, I mean no offense, but I must get to work." Behind her, he saw Captain Finaren step onto the main deck, leaning on the railing and looking down at him.
"You're a foolish boy," Yeill stated. "You'll regret this." Without warning, she slapped him.
Jherek saw the blow coming and chose not to dodge it entirely. Malorrie's martial training included close-in fighting as well as the blade. Her open hand collided with his cheek and he felt one of her rings cut his face. Blood trickled down his cheek and he tasted it inside his mouth as well. She'd hit harder than he'd expected.
"Tell your fellow sailors that you made an improper advance toward me," the Amnian woman whispered roughly. "If you don't, trust me when I say that you'll regret it."
He met her gaze. "If you think that I would choose to dishonor you," he told her in an equally low voice, "you still show your ignorance of the kind of man I choose to be."
"You're no man," she said. "A man would have come to me himself, days ago." She turned sharply and walked away from him.
Jherek stood there, his face burning crimson, and listened to the jeering catcalls of the other sailors. Shaking a little with the anger and fear that nearly consumed him, he walked to the nearest rigging and leaped up into the ropes. He climbed swiftly, edging out to the area that he'd been assigned to repair.
When he showed no sign of respon
ding to the catcalls and off-color comments, the other sailors gave up baiting him. High above the deck, feeling the morning sun soak into him, he let go of the emotions, pushing them out of his body. Madame litaar had been the first to get him past the fear that had become his birthright. She had taught him to trust himself, and gradually a handful of others, but he was at his best when he was alone.
His fingers worked cleverly, almost without him thinking about it. He braided the new rope in with the old rigging, then cut away the frayed pieces. The cries of the heggrims, following after Finaran's Butterfly for the garbage that was dumped every morning and after every meal, soothed him. He chose a new piece of rope and paused long enough to gaze out across the water.
The ocean spread rolling and green. He loved the sea, loved the sailor's life, loved the autonomy of living aboard ship. Those things took him away from large groups of people. Interacting with others, especially when they didn't make sense, drained him and often left him dispirited.
He breathed in the salt air and felt invigorated. The Amnians would be gone soon, and they'd be home in Velen for a few days. He found he was looking forward to it more than usual.
"What happened betwixt you and that girl, lad?" Jherek sat in the rigging, tied in now as he worked the more narrow and more tricky spots on the mast. The storm yesterday morning had been unforgiving, ripping across the cog's decks and doing exterior damage that would be repaired at a later time.
"What's she saying?" Jherek asked carefully.
Captain Virne Finaren stood on the nearby mast arm, a short burly man of sixty and more years who hadn't given up any aspect of his duties to his ship. The captain still hand-trained the more capable of his crew. He'd taught Jherek the few things the boy hadn't known about ships.
"She's saying that you made improper advances toward her," Finaren said.
He wore a full beard the yellow color of Calim Desert sand, spotted now with winter silver. The sun had tightened his eyes, making them slits across copper pupils. His face was seamed from exposure to the elements and a dagger thrust had left a harsh scar above his right eyebrow. He wore a doublet, breeches, and boots. A red kerchief kept his long hair from his eyes.
Jherek didn't say anything, keeping his hands busy.
"I'm caught in a bit of a muddle," the captain admitted as he went on.
"Why?" Jherek asked.
"A crewman of mine making advances against a woman on my ship, he's a crewman going to get a taste of the cat."
Jherek knew Finaren was referring to the cat-o'-ninetails he kept for ship's discipline. "Very well," he said.
"Very well?" Finaren repeated after a moment.
"Aye," Jherek said.
"You'd let me take the hide from your back, and we both knowing that pretty little tramp is lying like a rug?"
"I didn't say she was lying," Jherek pointed out.
"Lad," Finaren said, "we both know she's lying. You've never offered any man or woman-or beast, that I know of-anything in the way of an insult. Even them that you've killed in a fight you've never slurred before, during, or after."
Jherek said nothing, feeling bad that his ill luck was affecting Finaren as well. "I was looking at her," he admitted. "Maybe if I hadn't been doing that, she wouldn't have embarrassed herself."
"Valkur's brass buttons, boy!" Finaren exploded. "You're a seaman. You spend a netful of your life away from kith and kin, and the sight of a good woman. Even a sailor clinging to a sinking spar would gaze on Umberlee with favor, and her the cold bitch goddess she is that spares no man venturing out on the ocean. When we go out on the salt as a way of life, we know what we're giving up."
"I'm sorry," Jherek said.
A lump swelled in his throat as the confusion touched him. In every situation he truly believed there was a right thing to do, a fair thing. But for the life of him, he couldn't see what it was in this instance.
"Every manjack on this ship has been looking at them women," Finaren growled, "including meself. A fiery little wench like that, she gets a man's blood up. Trouble is, she knows it too, the little tart. She could've had any man on this cog, yet she went out of her way to reach for you."
"Captain, I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Jherek said. "I've tried to stay away from the Amnians as you suggested."
It had been easy, in fact, since the merchants had partied constantly since being aboard ship and Jherek had never liked being around loud, raucous people. Drinking seemed to blur the lines of polite society, and take away even the rules a lot of good people stood by when they were sober.
"I know, lad. We've just got a wicket of trouble to deal with. The girl's father is demanding some kind of recompense."
"I could offer him an apology."
"That's good of you, but he's looking for something more along the monetary lines. I'm loath to give it to him. I can be a tight-fisted old miser meself, and I believe he knows what really happened betwixt you and that little tramp. He also knows I daren't tell him off without proof of it." He looked away, turning his attention back to the ship he'd spent so much of his life on.
Below, two members of the ship's crew sat in chairs mounted on the aft deck. Most of Butterfly's supply of fresh fish was taken up in nets, but swordfish had been spotted running on the salt earlier. The meat was a delicacy, but the swordfish had a habit of tearing up nets. The sailors sat in the chairs and fished with hooks. It was a lot of work, but it saved the nets. The fishing had also become something of a pastime aboard ship, and men gambled over who would be the first to land a catch.
"Well, lad," Finaren said after a short time, "it's my problem to think on. I just wanted to get the right of it from you."
Jherek nodded, understanding full well the predicament the captain was in. "If there's anything I can do, let me know. I'll gladly do it."
Finaren looked at him with fondness, then dropped a heavy hand on Jherek's shoulder. "Aye, lad, I know that you would. You've been more honest with me than any man I've ever sailed with." He shook his head. "You've enough weight to bear, young Jherek, without dealing with the bilge offered by a selfish and conceited twit of a girl. No, I'll stand up and take care of this. Nobody's going to ramrod this ship but me. You just steer clear of any further encounters with those Amnians. I'll not have you spilling some young fop's guts and garters across my deck because he's trying to show out for Merchant Lelayn."
"Aye, captain."
"Have you had anything to eat, lad?"
"Not since morningfeast."
"The mid-day meal was an hour ago, lad."
"I didn't want to come down."
Finaren nodded. "I know. You stand steady up here. I know you like the solitude anyway. I'll have Cook put together a kit and have it sent up."
"Thank you."
"Faugh. It's nothing, lad. Not many men would have let that girl slap them and walk off the way you did. Nor would they have kept a civil tongue in their heads."
Jherek also knew of no other sailors who carried the dark secret he did. If that secret were to get out, it would see him clear of sailing-if it didn't get him killed outright. Captain Finaren had hired him on in spite of knowing the truth.
Yeill was wrong, Jherek knew, love did exist. He knew that because he loved the old sea captain for the way he accepted him in spite of the birthright that marked him. He watched Finaren nimbly descend to the lower decks, bellowing out orders to the ship's crew at once.
Some of the tense knot gripping Jherek's stomach released. He took a moment to himself and said a small prayer to Ilmater, the Crying God, asking for the strength to go on, then he returned to his work on the rigging.
By late afternoon, only an hour or so short of eveningfeast, the winds deserted Finaran's Butterfly. She slowed to the point of becalming, which was bad enough, but then the Amnians started drinking and partying again, deciding they were bored.
Jherek sat in the crow's nest, curled up with a novel of chivalric romance Malorrie had suggested. He'd also brought a trea
tise on civil disobedience that he fully intended to discuss with Malorrie when he reached Velen. The whole thought of civil disobedience, for the right reasons and under auspicious circumstances, was confusing. Jherek had read it twice during the voyage, and it still didn't set any easier on his mind. Right was right, and to suggest that it might not be right at times was too much for him to think on.
Taking a pause in the book, holding his place with a finger, he leaned over the edge of the crow's nest and looked down at the cheering and screaming Amnians thronging the ship's stern. His reading was getting increasingly harder as the roil of dark clouds coming in from the west took away his light. He wondered if they were in for another storm.
"Umberlee take the lot of them," Hagagne grumbled, climbing up the rigging to reach Jherek.
Hagagne was in his late thirties, a sallow man with loose skin that never seemed to quite brown enough and left him constantly reddened and peeling. He was bald on top and had an unruly fringe of hair around his head.
"What's going on?" Jherek asked the sailor.
"They've decided to fish," Hagagne answered, perching on the edge of the crow's nest as Jherek made room.
Jherek watched as deckhands brought the two fishing chairs out and set them up. Yeill and one of the Amnian young men sat in the chairs and belted themselves in with the leather restraint straps.
"They saw Marcle and Dawdre fishing earlier," Hagagne said, "and decided it would be great sport."
Jherek knew Marcle and Dawdre had done all right for themselves, bringing in ulauf and whitefish on the long poles as well as the swordfish. A lot of meat had been salted and put back in the ship's larder.
"They've even got a wager going on," Hagagne said with a harsh laugh.
Jherek looked the question at him.
"If the young bitch-"
"Please don't call her that," Jherek said, but his voice carried sheathed steel.
Hagagne shrugged, taking no offense. "If the young lady," the older sailor amended, "wins, she gets one of the dandy's breeding stallions, something he seems to be particularly proud of. If he wins, he gets to spend the night in her silks."