She could see he was a man who very much meant what he said. She slowly nodded.
“I need you to say it, Carrie. You have to speak or we stop right now.”
“I don’t want you to stop. Please.” She reached for him, and he moved closer, putting his hands on her thighs. The way he looked at her there, she wanted to hide. It was so personal.
“It’s going to hurt the first time. Are you ready for that?”
“I’m ready for you,” she said as he moved on the bed, his knees spreading her wide so her legs dangled around his hips. She could feel him pressing against her. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching her until the tension inside her eased, and she felt him pressing into her as he stared into her eyes.
The pressure was so much, and his expression was hard, as if he was holding himself back. “God, woman, you’re so tight.”
“Ben, please…” She didn’t think she could bear it, and maybe he knew, because he slammed into her so hard and fast that she cried out at the pain.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he said. “Just lie still and you’ll get used to me.” He kissed her as her arms slid around his neck, and then he started moving, slowly at first and then deeply.
She’d never felt so full, so complete, so possessed by a man as he filled her over and over. There was something building inside her and then exploding, sending waves and sensations crashing through her. She was digging her nails into his back as he moved harder and faster into her, and then he cried out and collapsed on top of her. For the first time in her life, this new relationship, she was part of something that mattered so much, she didn’t think she could bear it if this ended.
Chapter Twenty
What the hell had he been thinking? This was one of those moments where he knew with absolute certainty that he hadn’t been using his entire brain. Carrie was warm and still underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist, and he was still inside her. He went to pull away, to pull out, and she winced.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
Her cheeks burned a rosy pink, and she shook her head. “No, I’m okay. I didn’t know it would feel so good.”
There was a knock at the door, and Carrie scrambled up and reached for the blanket to cover herself. Ben climbed off the bed and reached for his jeans.
“Ben, are you in there?” Jack shouted from outside. He sounded off, and Ben wondered if he had any idea that his daughter was here. Carrie actually leaped from the bed, taking the duvet with her and racing into the bathroom as Ben pulled on his jeans. Jack knocked again.
“Okay, I’m coming,” he said as he pulled open the door, staring into Jack’s face. He didn’t let him in, but by the way Jack looked over his shoulder into the room, he wondered what he saw.
“Carrie’s here?” he said, pushing past Ben and stopping in front of the bed. Ben looked down and noticed the blood, then Carrie’s clothes tossed to the floor. This was one of those nightmare moments you never wanted to happen.
“Carrie, come out of the bathroom,” Ben called out. He started to the bathroom door just as Carrie opened it a crack. He could see her entire face. Her expression took on one of those awkward looks, as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She was now wearing one of the white bathrobes that had been hanging on the bathroom door. It draped to her ankles, it was so big. Ben slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him when she took another step.
Jack didn’t say a word, standing with his hands fisted at his sides. He was a hard man to read, and right now Ben thought it would be nice to have some idea of whether he was going to have his teeth knocked out or be asked to leave. When Jack’s gaze lingered on Carrie, Ben could see how much he cared for her.
“Carrie, you’re a grown woman, and you get to make your own decisions, but you’re still my daughter.”
Ben could feel the way Carrie seemed to pull into herself. “Look, Jack, this probably doesn’t look good, but I swear to you—”
The look Jack gave him was blazing and left the words Ben was about to say falling away. Angry fathers were not an area he had experience in.
“What exactly are your intentions toward my daughter? You’re a guest here, and Carrie may be a woman, but she’s young. She hasn’t finished college and is working some two-bit job making next to nothing for a local environmental group that’s your sworn enemy. What exactly is your reasoning, Ben? Is it to sway Carrie to your side? I really hope you wouldn’t stoop to that level.”
If anything, Ben was offended. He’d never used a woman to further his career, ever, and hell would freeze over before he stooped to that level of sliminess. “Jack, I would never consider that. Carrie means something to me, and…I don’t know what this is, between us.”
He could feel Carrie watching him, and when he glanced down, he could see her confusion, as if she was misunderstanding him—as if she, too, was wondering whether her father was right. “You came here, remember? I warned you, Carrie,” he said, low enough that the words were meant just for her. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say.
“Again, Ben, what are your intentions with my daughter? I’m not a fool. I understand the complexity of the situation.” He actually gestured to the blood on the bed, and for a second Ben wondered if this man was actually going to demand that he marry his daughter.
“Dad, I’m old enough to make my own decisions!” Carrie said. “This has nothing to do with you.” She actually stepped away from Ben and pulled at the robe at her neckline as if to cover herself more. Damn, she was uncomfortable. This entire situation seemed pulled from some bizarre soap opera. How could this be happening to him?
“Look, Jack, give us a moment, and Carrie and I will come up to the house. You and I can talk, but I need to have a word with Carrie,” Ben said. Jack may have been Carrie’s father, but Ben was pretty sure the man also understood that he wasn’t some snake—or at least he hoped so, anyway.
Jack turned to the door and said, “Carrie, both Alice and I will be expecting you with Ben.” Then he pulled open the door and left.
Carrie sank down on the edge of the bed, and when she looked up at him, there was such sadness in her eyes. He stepped closer and couldn’t stop himself from reaching down and brushing a lock of her hair back, then running his hand over the back of her head.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She frowned. “For what, making love to me? Was it so awful?”
“No, it was a gift. I’m sorry for how you feel now, for turning this experience, your first time, into something awkward. It shouldn’t be, and your dad finding us like this…I can honestly say this has never happened before.”
She reached for both of his hands, and he pulled her up so that she was standing so close that she was almost touching him.
“You okay?” he asked, tilting her chin up. He ran his hands over her back and down lower, over the curve of her bottom.
“So you really wanted me?” she asked. She was biting her lip again, and for a moment he wondered if she knew the effect she had on him.
“Yeah, and if we don’t leave now, you’re going to find out just how much I want you again.”
She smiled and started to lean in to kiss him, so he put his hands on her cheeks and held her still. “No, you’ll be too sore, and I need to go have a talk with your dad. I promised. No matter what, I can’t disrespect him.”
Chapter Twenty-One
He was holding her hand, walking with her across the grass to the house. Carrie took in the horses out in the pasture, ones she had never done more than give a passing glance to.
“You ride?” Ben asked. He was looking down at her, but the expression on his face was so male, confident, and cocky that she wanted to get closer still. He squeezed her hand when she didn’t answer right away.
“No, they’re Alice’s horses. She’s had them forever. I think they’re too old to ride, anyway. She loves them, but I just never had any interest.”
“That’s too bad. I love hor
ses, grew up with them. Haven’t ridden in years, though.”
She had never taken him for a country boy, despite what he had told her about his past. For some reason, when she looked at him, she could only see the city, the oil company. She understood that there was so much about Ben buried deep below the surface, and she wanted to dig, to uncover the special and complex person he was. She wanted to know everything about what made him tick, what he was thinking.
She could still feel him, the effects of being with him. Maybe that was why her body brushed up against his instinctively.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” Ben squeezed her hand as the house appeared too quickly in front of them.
“Oh, you know, things like what my dad’s going to say to you. I didn’t think he cared.”
Ben stopped and pulled her around to him. “Hey, your dad cares for you very much, and I knew that even before he came in and raked me over the coals. He’s doing what any father should. Everyone makes mistakes, Carrie. No one is perfect, so stop holding your dad accountable for things that are over and done.”
She didn’t like being reprimanded for anything, but she knew Ben was partly right. She was just having a hard time with her dad deciding only now to be a dad. “I know,” she said.
Maybe he hadn’t expected her to admit it, as surprise registered on his face. “Well, good. Maybe there’s hope for you yet.”
She wanted to hit him, and what did he do but pull her close and put a kiss on her lips?
“Hey, you two, come on in here before breakfast gets cold,” Alice called. She was standing on the porch, waving.
“Come on, let’s go,” Ben said. “I think maybe this would be a good time for you to have a talk with Alice.”
He took her hand again, and just touching him filled her with happiness, even though a sense of shellshock came over her as they started up the steps and her father appeared behind her stepmother. The expression on his face, directed toward Ben, was concerning.
“Ben, can I have a word with you in my study?” he said, though it really wasn’t a question.
Carrie didn’t want him to go alone. She was starting to panic that her dad would say something and Ben would leave. She knew she couldn’t handle it if that happened. “Dad, no. I’m a grown woman. This is between me and Ben.”
“No, Carrie, there are some things I need to say. Go on in the kitchen with Alice.”
The way he said it made her feel as if she was two years old and she’d done something wrong. She couldn’t remember her father ever talking to her this way.
Ben actually nudged her. “Go, Carrie. I think this is between me and your dad.”
Standing in the doorway, Ben helped her off with her sweater, which she unzipped and hung on the coat tree. He shrugged his off, hanging it over hers. He didn’t give her another glance as he followed her father down the hall and into his study. She actually craned her neck and stared until Alice called out to her.
“Carrie, come in here now,” she said softly.
She could smell the aroma of apple cinnamon muffins, the fresh coffee. She didn’t know how Alice was so organized, but being in the kitchen with her was comforting. Alice didn’t look up as she lifted the muffins from the pan, arranging them on a platter.
“Carrie, can you pull the pitcher of orange juice from the refrigerator, please?”
She didn’t answer as she pulled the well-stocked fridge open. Hers never looked anything like this. She took the green-topped Tupperware jug out and set it on the counter beside the glasses and four mugs sitting on a paper towel, just waiting to be used.
“Ben is a very nice man,” Alice said.
Carrie turned around, and Alice set a knife on the cutting board beside her.
“Cut up this pineapple, please,” she said. “It’s starting to get old.” Then she poured herself a cup of coffee.
Carrie picked up the knife and cut off the top and the bottom.
“Your father doesn’t want to see you hurt,” Alice said. She was behind her, and she set a cup filled with dark coffee beside her.
“I know. I just wish he hadn’t shown up like he did. It was embarrassing.”
“And it’s too new,” Alice added, which had Carrie turning around and taking another look at her stepmother. She nodded, setting the knife down on the counter.
“Yeah, I don’t want anything to mess it up. I don’t want Dad to scare him away.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not your dad’s intention. But, Carrie, it was your first time. Your dad came back and told me what he saw.”
She shut her eyes in embarrassment. Her father and Alice had talked about her sex life and her first time, knowing she was a virgin? She’d always imagined she’d have her mother to go to, to talk to. She’d just been floating along for so long, trying to go it alone.
“I went to him,” she whispered. She didn’t say anything else, because she didn’t want to voice her fears that Ben would walk out of her dad’s study, grab his coat, and leave and never come back. Alice just rubbed her back. She heard footsteps and voices.
Both her father and Ben were laughing.
Alice slid her arm around Carrie’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. “See? It’s all good. Now cut the pineapple.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ben had a lot to think about as he sorted through the files on his computer and in his inbox. There was one from Rick with the reports he’d requested, but he didn’t click the files open, as he realized the importance of trust and how Carrie would be affected by what he was doing. After all, they’d been on opposite sides—or rather, they still were. He needed to sit down face to face with her and hash this out. As he had promised Jack, he needed to figure out what this was with Carrie.
Jack hadn’t minced words. As soon as he stepped into his study, Ben following, he’d shut the door, sat down, and said with a hard expression of certainty, “What are you intentions toward my daughter, Ben?”
It had been the most uncomfortable moment of his life. Never had he been held accountable for his sexual encounters. All this because he’d been thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy!
He’d taken a seat in a second side chair, and he hadn’t insulted Jack by looking away. “Honestly, Jack, I care for her, and I would never intentionally hurt her. I don’t know where it’s going to go with Carrie. This was unexpected.”
Jack had leaned forward, resting his elbows on the arms of the side chair. “Then let me be clear: I do not want to see my daughter hurt. There’s been too much strife in her life, and when she’s back home here, she doesn’t see things clearly. She reacts, jumps in, and does things without thinking. I’m no fool. I know what I saw. Again, I’m going to ask you your intentions.” He actually lifted up a magazine to reveal that damn feature on the front cover. He gave it a cursory glance and then flicked it with his fingers. “Yes, I’ve read this, and I’ve clearly read between the lines, as well, Ben. I don’t think I’m being presumptuous in stating the obvious: You’re a playboy.”
Jack had an unforgiving hardness in his expression that wouldn’t be satisfied until Ben spelled out, in black and white, what he’d figured out about him and Carrie. The problem was that he’d figured nothing out aside from the fact that she was nothing like the women he’d been with before. He never would have considered being with a young, mouthy, fiery woman like her, but they had been thrown together by the most unusual circumstances, and she had stirred something in him—passion, fire, anger—just by being who she was. He should have taken offense to being labeled, but the fact was that with all of his conquests and the string of women he’d dated, he was in fact a playboy.
“I can’t change who I am, but I have integrity, Jack—and a conscience. I know what I did, and Carrie isn’t just another notch on my belt. She’s different. I wouldn’t treat her that way. If you’re asking whether I’m planning to marry your daughter…”
Jack actually held up his hands. “No! I’m not going that far, but
I need to be clear: You are responsible for your actions, and I expect you to man up. If you get her pregnant, you’ll be seeing the end of my shotgun, and you’ll face your responsibilities. I did, with Carrie’s mother.”
Ben just watched Jack. The man had peeled back yet another layer. So he’d gotten Carrie’s mother pregnant, married her out of obligation? There had never been any passion and deep love for her? “Jack, I may be many things, but anything I do, I stand by it. Carrie isn’t meaningless to me, but I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. We have a lot to figure out.”
“So you’re not running. When you leave here, which I can only assume will happen any day now, what then?”
Ben actually admired Jack, because if their positions were reversed and Carrie was his daughter, he might not have been so friendly. “I don’t know yet, Jack, but I’m not prepared at this point to walk out of her life. Is that fair enough? Carrie and I need to talk. We need time to get to know each other. I don’t know where this is going to go, but I give you my word that unless Carrie tells me to get lost and leave her alone, I won’t.”
Jack seemed to consider what he was saying, and then he stood up and offered his hand. “I hoped you would say that.” He had a solid hold, and he didn’t let go. “But if you hurt her, you will soon find out how unfriendly I can become.”
Ben inclined his head. “Understood,” he said.
Jack slapped his shoulder. “Let’s go have breakfast.”
Just like that, the conversation had changed to the weather, then baseball and Jack’s predilection for the sport. Carrie, for the first time ever, had sat quietly, poking at her food, with nervous glances between her father and Ben.
Ben closed up his computer. He needed to have a word with Carrie to set the record straight on a lot of fronts. He had only kissed her goodbye after walking her back to her car, parked in front of his cabin. She’d driven away to go into the headquarters of her environmental group and update their website. It was her job, which he was well aware paid very little, and he wondered if that was her only reason for being so confrontational about the environmental protest.
A Matter of Trust Page 9