Each night as he listened intently to the steady beat of her heart through the walls, he considered going to her in the guest room, but he was held back by more than their agreement to stay apart. When left alone with his thoughts, he began to doubt his strength, his ability to protect her. How could he protect her from himself? That thought brought his mother’s words to the front of his mind,
He had gone to his mother while Alexa slept the night they arrived.
He took a breath and raised his hand to knock on his parents’ door as it slowly swung open to reveal Josephine who had been expecting the visit.
She smiled knowingly up at her son who was nearly a foot taller, then quietly slipped out and padded silently down the long hallway to her parlor while he followed.
When the door closed behind him, he turned to her, “I must know what you told her tonight. Please, what did you see, mama?”
Josephine reached up and took his face in her hands, seeing so much desperation in his eyes that it nearly broke her heart.
“Mi hijo, you worry too much.” She said softly. “Sharing my vision with you all those years ago is one of my deepest regrets in this life. Knowing your future kept you from living your life for so many years. It is a mistake I will not repeat.”
“As you have said before, things have happened as they must, but I need to know now, did you share the rest of your vision with Alexa? Has it changed or am I doomed to destroy her?”
She sighed deeply, “Ethan, what I told Alexa was for her, and her alone. She will make her choice as you must make yours.”
“What choice? I cannot stay away from her anymore than I can stop breathing! I made a promise to her to never leave again, but how can I bind myself to her only to lose her to my own weakness? So tell me now, is there any hope that I can change it, can I save her?” He pleaded with tears streaming down his chiseled cheeks.
She pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around him as he crumpled to the floor clinging to her for comfort. “There is always hope, mi amor. Alexa is very strong, perhaps stronger than you realize, you must trust in her choice. The question is not whether you can save her, rather can she save you. So have faith, she will not fail you.”
Was it true that he would be the one that needed saving? Though she refused to tell him anything further about her vision, his mother’s words had given him comfort that night and allowed him to return to Alexa with hope in his heart.
But on this night, only hours before their wedding and mating, the seeds of doubt were growing like an infection in his mind. He had to go to her, needed to tell her of his fear before she bound herself to him, before it was too late for her to change her mind.
As he reached for the handle to his door, there was a soft knock. He had been so lost in his thoughts he had not heard her approach, but his heart leapt as he turned the knob expecting to see Alexa standing on the other side. He couldn’t hide his surprise when he opened it and found himself looking down at Cami. His normally stoic sister stood there with tears staining her face before wrapping her arms around his neck.
He remained still at first, confused by the sudden display of affection and contrition after so many years of distance and disapproval.
Finally, Ethan hugged her close, his forearms laying against the holster that crisscrossed over her back. Even in this seemingly fragile state, she was well armed, though she had at least removed her swords. Ethan backed them into the room and gently closed the door as Cami clung to him. “I am so sorry, my brother,” she whispered, “I did not know.”
They stood there in a warm embrace for several moments before Cami pulled away and sat down on the bed with her elbows on her knees.
“Why did you not tell me, brother? She asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes, angry with herself for appearing so weak. “All of these years I have been so angry with you, if only I had known, I could have helped you.”
“It was my cross to bear. There is nothing you could have done to change it. It took me all of these years to realize there was nothing I could do to change it either.” He sat down next to her on the edge of the bed and put his arm around her shoulders. “So mother told you everything then?”
“No, not everything. She made it very clear that she told me what I needed to know, nothing more. But I feel like I understand her so much more now. I never considered what a burden her gift has been. To see the future, but be essentially powerless to change it. I have been very selfish. I was so focused on my place with the Elite, on impressing the commander, I lost sight of the importance of family.” She swallowed the knot that was building in her throat. “I hope someday you can forgive me, brother.”
“There is nothing to forgive, we have all made mistakes. I no longer want to live in the past, or let the prophecy guide my actions.” As he said the words, Ethan knew it was not entirely true. There was still a piece of the past, of the prophecy, he couldn’t let go of, not until he talked to Alexa.
✧
Alexa had just started to doze off when she felt the soft touch of Ethan’s fingers stroking her face. She forced her heavy eyelids open and strained to see his face. The only light in the room was filtering in from the moon outside so she could only make out his outline.
“Hey there,” she whispered softly, her voice a little scratchy with exhaustion. She moved to sit up, simultaneously reaching for the lamp on the nightstand.
“No, Amor. Do not get up, I will not keep you long,” he said as he continued stroking her cheek. “I must speak to you, though I do intend to keep our agreement to wait to be together until after we are married,” he took a shaky breath, “if you will still have me when I am finished.”
“Ethan,” she started, but he interrupted.
“Please, just let me speak before I lose my nerve. It is about the prophecy. I do not know what she told you, but I can only assume my mother did not tell you the entire story since you are still here. I need for you to know, I need to give you a chance to leave while you still can.”
He sat down on the bed and took her hand. “The vision, the prophecy foretold your death.” Ethan paused, expecting a reaction from Alexa at hearing the tragic truth, but she remained still, listening intently. “And it is to be by my hand, but I cannot,” he pulled her hand to his mouth and gently kissed her knuckles. She felt the moisture from his tears on her fingers. “I will not believe it to be true. I love you more than my own life. I could never hurt you, you must know that, but my mother’s visions have never been wrong. You can take Chloe, go into hiding far away from here. I will give you everything I possess, you could be safe without me.”
Alexa waited for him to continue, but he stayed quiet, softly crying, waiting for her to respond, expecting her to demand that he let her leave.
She took his hand and shifted over on the bed. “Lay with me, Ethan.” He obliged hesitantly and laid down in the space she had made and she wrapped herself around him, pulling him close as she continued. “I have accepted my fate, whatever it may be.” She whispered and gently kissed the tears on his cheek. “Before I met you, my life was empty, I was just going through the motions, existing. In such a short time, you have given me more than I ever hoped for in this life. I will take whatever time I have left, however long or short it may be, with you, and with Chloe. I have made my choice, and I choose you.”
Ethan released the breath he had been holding, at once relieved and terrified by her words. He could not bear the thought of losing her.
Alexa sat up and moved to straddle him, taking his face in her hands as she looked down into his eyes. “It will be okay, my love. No matter what happens, we will face it together. You as my husband, and I as your wife. I will never lose faith in you,” she said before leaning down and kissing his full lips.
He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her to him tightly as he returned her kiss. She deepened the kiss, delving her soft tongue into his mouth, sending his blood rushing and eliciting a low growl from the back of his throat. He swiftly moved a
nd slid her body beneath him and kissed her with all of the passion and emotion that had been threatening to burst free for the last two days.
Mustering every ounce of willpower that he had, Ethan broke the kiss and pulled back, quickly moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Alexa whimpered at the loss of his weight and warmth.
“Thank you, Amor,” he whispered as he quickly stood to leave. Though every fiber in his body was protesting, he was determined to wait until she was completely his before he took her again.
He rushed to the door, needing to put as much distance as possible between them if he was to have any hope of resisting the delicious call of her body.
Without words, Alexa understood his intentions and couldn’t help but smile sensing how difficult it was for him to walk away. She was glad to know that he was just as affected as she was.
“Goodnight, Mr. Kellar. I’ll see you at the altar,” she said softly.
Hearing the joy in her voice lifted the burden from his heart, yet did nothing to temper the lust that was coursing through his body. He desperately wanted to go back to her, to kiss her again and hold her in his arms, but he knew if he so much as looked at her again, let alone touched her, he would have no prayer of getting out of her room before the morning.
“Goodnight, sweet Alexa,” he said as he turned the handle and stepped into the hallway. “You better get some sleep, come tomorrow night, you are going to need your strength,” he tossed over his shoulder playfully before he disappeared from view.
“As will you,” she challenged even though he was gone, knowing that he would still be able to hear her with his superhuman senses.
She sat up for a few moments, silently hoping he would change his mind and come back, before finally rolling over, her body tingling with unrequited need.
Great, how on earth am I supposed to sleep now, she thought as she cuddled into the soft down pillow and smiled. It was a delicious torture, wanting Ethan so badly, but choosing to wait until after the wedding.
Mrs. Ethan Kellar.
Her new name was the last conscious thought she had before the heavy tug of exhaustion finally pulled her into a deep and peaceful sleep.
✧
Ethan chuckled as he closed his door. Alexa’s words nearly making him turn around and go back to her room to show her exactly who was going to be needing their rest when he got his hands on her again.
He looked down and groaned at the massive erection that was tenting his black cotton pants. He considered hopping in the shower to relieve the tension, worried that if his need built up any further he wouldn’t be able to control himself with Alexa after their wedding.
Tomorrow she will become my wife. A full dimple smile spreading across his face at the thought.
He had told her everything and she had not run. Just considering the possibility that she could have left him that night brought his arousal down several notches. He didn’t know what he would do without her. She and Chloe were his life.
Their future was still uncertain, but there in the darkness, only hours before he and Alexa were going to say their vows, he finally realized why his mother refused to tell him anymore about her visions. Uncertain is exactly what a future should be.
CHAPTER 22 - Family Reunion
Alexa turned to see her reflection in the full-length mirror that stood in Josephine’s dressing area and she couldn’t believe her eyes.
She had never looked or felt more beautiful in her entire life. She could hardly believe she was the elegant woman looking back at her.
“You are a masterpiece, Alexa,” Ethan’s mother said proudly from behind her. She had spent the last two hours helping Alexa dress, doing both her hair and makeup. The front of her hair was pulled up into an elegant twist with a beautiful butterfly comb encrusted with blue sapphires, the rest cascading down her back in loose curls. The comb, Josephine explained, was a family heirloom that she had worn on her own wedding day. The makeup was light, except on her eyes which were smoky and dramatic, making the extraordinary color of her irises stand out perfectly.
Alexa spun around to face Josephine who was dressed in a lovely, yet simple mid-length emerald green gown. “Thank you so much, you are a miracle worker!” She said as tears of joy started to well up in her eyes.
“I am no such thing, you are an incredibly beautiful woman. All I did was showcase that. Please, no tears, we cannot have you ruining all of my hard work.”
Josephine walked over to Alexa and pulled her into a warm embrace. “Thank you for this, dear girl. You have made my son so very happy.” She moved her hands to Alexa’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. “You have given me back my family, I can never thank you enough for that.”
A lone tear slipped down Josephine’s cheek. “If I can’t cry neither can you, mama” Alexa said, trying out the new title. The word was strange on her lips with her never having anyone to call that before, but it felt right. After just a few short days, the graceful woman before her had become family.
Hearing Alexa use the term drew another wave of emotion from Josephine and she grabbed her again, squeezing her tightly as tears flowed freely down her face.
Alexa struggled to keep her own tears at bay as she returned the hug.
Just then the door swung open, causing both women to turn. Josephine quickly retrieved a delicate handkerchief from a nearby table and started dabbing her eyes as Cami strode into the room. She looked amazing, but rather uncomfortable in the floor-length plum dress that was pulled tight at the waist with a black leather belt adorned with a large silver buckle. It had a deep v-neckline that Alexa could have never pulled off, but the look was still modest on Cami’s athletic frame.
“I just wanted to check and see if I could help with anything,” Cami said as she approached the two women, stopping short in front of Alexa.
“You look lovely, Cami,” Alexa said uncertainly, not having spoken to her since the awkward meeting in front of her old home.
“I hate dresses, they are so inefficient,” she said grabbing the skirt of hers and pulling it up slightly to reveal her black combat boots, complete with her dagger handle coming up from the right one. “But this is a special occasion, so I’ll deal.”
She lowered the skirt and shifted uncomfortably, “You look great too, Alexa. Listen, I’m sorry for the way I acted the other night. I just didn’t understand everything then, but that’s no excuse, either way, it’s not like any of the crap I was mad about was your fault.”
Alexa was surprised by Cami’s manner of speech, it was vastly different from the rest of her family who all spoke so formally. She supposed it was the product of a life spent around a bunch of badass vampire soldiers.
“It’s really not necessary, but thank you,” Alexa said as she approached her tentatively. “I’m really glad you decided to come, I really love your brother and I would love for us to be friends, sisters even.” Overcome with the happiness of the day, Alexa even shocked herself when she pulled Cami into a hug.
Surprised, Cami remained rigid for a moment before relaxing slightly and patting Alexa’s back. The only people she had ever hugged were her parents and brother. All these years with the Elite, the only form of affection between her and her brothers in arms was the occasional slap on the ass or pat on the back after a good battle or training session. She was so focused on her duty, there was no time for anything else, like friends or romance.
Josephine stood by quietly smiling as she watched the somewhat awkward exchange. It was such a relief to have all of her family under the same roof, even though she knew it wouldn’t last long.
As Alexa pulled away, there was a knock on the door. “Ladies, are you all decent?” Elijah called from the hallway.
“Yes, mi vida, you can come in, so long as Ethan is not with you. He is not allowed to see his bride before the ceremony.”
The door opened and Elijah filled the doorway with his tall frame draped in a perfectly tailored tuxedo, but Alexa could see there were people behind hi
m that she didn’t know.
Choices of Fate (Fate Series) Page 20