by Riley, Alexa
If we’re mated, shouldn't I be feeling more of his emotions or even hearing his thoughts? Maybe my own are too consuming and all over the place to even try and read his. I don’t even feel like myself. Valen’s hand goes to my stomach and moves my own out of the way. He places his there, and the feel of his rough hands on my soft skin is nice. I can’t stop myself from leaning into his touch, and the pull to him grows stronger.
“Tell me who did this,” he whispers.
“It doesn't matter anymore.” I try to say it like I don’t care. “It’s been taken care of already.”
With the amount of blood left at the scene and my blood all over Jarrod’s clothes, the police charged him with my murder even without a body. They thought he buried me somewhere, so he was locked away in a place where he could never hurt another woman. Justice was done or so they said. I never really thought it was because I wanted him to bleed too.
“Why do you even care? I’m just another random hookup in a line of many, I’m sure. I was all too willing to drop to my knees and suck you off at your command.” I throw the words out in anger. Or maybe it isn't anger but sadness, frustration, jealousy and something else I can’t place. It’s all too much. I’m on overload here, feeling emotions I’m not used to having anymore.
I want to push him away from me but grab onto him at the same time. I can’t even help myself because I like the way he commanded me to do those things. He took the control right out of my hands. Control and order are how I’ve had to have things so that I can function. I need it all mapped out, and he took that from me last night. But now I’m doing the one thing I told myself I’d never do again. I’m falling head over heels for a man, and this time it’s worse than before.
“I care a lot when someone hurts a woman.” His words are hard, but his face softens. It makes him look younger than I previously assumed him to be. He doesn’t have any laugh lines on his face, and maybe it’s because he has as many walls up as I do.
It’s then I realize it’s anger that’s fueling me more than anything now, and anger I can deal with because it’s easier.
“Do you have a family?” I ask him, knowing I’ve caught him off guard with my question.
“Not any longer.” I see the hint of sadness as he says it.
“You want one, though, don’t you? One day?” I wave my hand around the hotel room. “Once you’re past your playboy and one-night stand days.”
“I’m not a fucking playboy. If I was I would have had a condom on my dick last night. Maybe I would have been prepared instead of attacking you like a man getting a taste of something he's never had.”
“I’m sure you’ve never had a vampire before. They say females are rare and don’t typically find mates. Male vampires have a hard time turning women. I think it links back to disrespecting whoever their mate might be. Mated vampires are jealous creatures. I hear the females can be the worst.” I let my warning ring clear.
Valen reaches up and touches one of the bite marks I left on him. I can’t even be sure how many times I bit him or how long we fucked in that hotel bed. My stomach turns at the word fuck because, yes, some of it did feel like raw fucking, but other parts felt tender and sweet as the hours passed by. It was as if we were two people in love.
“Answer the question,” I remind him. He’s good at moving on to something else and trying to distract me from the real questions I want answers to.
“Yeah, at one time the idea of a family sounded nice. A real one. Not one that felt like your whole life was planned out. That you had to follow a certain path.”
“The American dream,” I respond easily, because I once had that dream, too. “That’s something I could never give you.” I turn from him to go in search of something to wear. I don’t want to see the disappointment in his face that I can’t give him everything he could ever want.
Sure, maybe we could make us work for a little while, but for him it wouldn't be forever, and where would that leave me? Dead all over again because of a man. Maybe we hadn’t mated or if we had, it could be broken still because it’s so early. The thought takes the breath right out of me.
Valen reaches out and grabs my arm softly. “You know better than anyone that things change.” I raise my head to look him in his eyes.
“Maybe for some, but for me…” I pull my eyes from his because I can’t stand what they do to me. They can control me like a spell. “I still mourn my losses and I don’t ever see that going away.” I swallow to keep a lump from forming in my throat. “I’d end up making you miserable if you stayed with me. We'd break each other's hearts.” I give him a half-smile. It’s forced, but I try to not seem affected. I shake my head. “This is silly. I don't even know why I’m getting into this with you. It doesn't matter. We both know what last night was and there’s no reason to make this a big deal. I get it. I’m a big girl, but I’m also woman enough to admit me hanging around and doing this with you for a few more days won’t work for me. I’d probably go crazy with possessiveness and cling to you.”
“Princess, you can cling to me anytime you like.” He pulls me into his hard body and I melt into him as if we are made for each other. He looks down at me. “Stop putting up the walls. I promise you I’ll keep knocking them down.”
I want to yell at him and tell him how this would never work. He admitted he’s dreamed about having a family before, and I know he means beyond what I have with my self-made family. He knows I’m a vampire. He should also know then I can’t have children. I don’t know why he’s even pushing for this.
I reach down and pick up a shirt off the floor, but I freeze when I hear someone closing in. “Someone is coming.”
“I know,” he says, already in motion. He pushes me behind him as the door bursts open.
Standing there in the open doorway is Bishop and the twins.
“You’ve had your fun, it’s time to go,” Bishop tells me as I peek out from behind Valen.
“She’s not going anywhere.” Valen takes a step towards Bishop in challenge. Don’t get me wrong, Valen is a big man, but no way can he take on three vampires unless he wants to kill them.
“They’re my family, Valen,” I tell him as I put my hand on his arm. I can feel all the emotions pouring off of him and I want to calm him.
“Turn around. All of you. She’s not even fucking dressed. Have some respect,” he barks at them.
I’m surprised they actually do what he says, and I take the time to slide Valen’s shirt on over my head. I glance over and see him pulling on some pants.
“Tick tock, the sun is coming up,” I hear Erik say.
“I have to go,” I tell Valen.
Moments ago I was trying to get the hell out of here and now that it's really happening I don’t want to leave.
“You know how hard this is for me? I can’t let you walk out the door with them.”
“They’re my family,” I say again, and Valen glances over his shoulder for a moment then back to me.
“Yeah, well, one isn't looking at you like he’s your family. He sounds jealous.” Valen growls the last part.
He turns back around to face Bishop and the twins. “She stays with me.” Valen’s stance widens like he’s ready for a fight.
“I guess we could come in and have a nice little chat. Then maybe you can tell Ravana who you really are, Valen Sterling. Or have you mentioned the truth already?” Bishop says lazily, like he’s already won this fight.
“It’s not like that.” Valen turns to look down at me. “I promise I was never going to hurt you.” He reaches out to touch my face. “It wasn't even you I was looking for, but there you were, making me forget why I was even here to begin with. I saw you sitting on that bench watching those children go door to door. I didn't know something could look so beautiful and sad at the same time.”
“Then you couldn't stop following her, could you?” Bishop takes another step into the room, breaking into our moment. “Were you debating on if you wanted to fuck her or kill her? O
r maybe you thought you could have both.”
Valen launches himself at Bishop, taking him down to the ground and landing a punch to his face. They roll, and Bishop comes up on top of Valen.
“Do something!” I yell at the twins, but they keep on watching as if this is a front row seat to a UFC fight. When Bishop leans up to throw another punch at Valen, I move as fast as I can and throw myself on top of Valen. l know Bishop won’t hit me.
Valen rolls, taking me with him, and stands up. I swear I would think he was a vampire if I didn't know any better. Valen pushes me behind him once again, ready to fight even though he’s facing off with three vampires.
“He wants you and I won’t let him have you,” Valen says.
The twins look around the room, trying not to look at any of us because they have been making the same remarks the past few weeks about Bishop.
“I’m protective over her because she’s my niece. She’s the only family I have left,” Bishop throws out.
My eyes lock with Bishop and I see the look of anguish on his face. He was created long before me and this is the first I’m hearing about it. Why would he hide this?
“It’s why you saved me that day,” I say, more to myself, realizing that he must have been watching me.
“That never should have happened. I should have been keeping a better eye on you.” Regret rings in his words.
“It’s why I feel a deeper connection with you than the others. It isn’t just because you’re my maker?” I ask.
“I believe so. I feel it, too, and I don’t have it with the others. You’re like a daughter to me. I watched you for so long and kept an eye on you the best I could. I still failed you.” He looks over at Valen. “I won’t make the same mistake again.” Bishop’s eyes flash back to mine. “He’s the slayer.”
I gasp as I take a step away from Valen as if I was actually hit.
“I’d never hurt you.” Valen clears the space I put between us as he holds his hands out.
“But you already have,” Bishop says for me. “The man who took her life filled her head with lies, too. He pretended to be something he wasn't and you’re no different.”
I stare at Valen, willing him to say something, but his eyes are cast down on the floor. I can feel the anger rolling off him, but oddly I’m still not afraid of him. Somehow deep down I know he’d never hurt me.
“The sun is almost up and we need to get you home.” Bishop holds out his hand to me and I go to take it, but Valen grabs mine instead.
“This isn't over,” he tells me as his dark eyes bore into mine.
“Is that a threat?” I raise my chin in challenge to him.
“No, princess. That’s a promise.”
Eight
Ravana
I sit on my bed unsure what to do. Between finding out about Bishop and Valen and now this hunger deep inside me that’s mounting by the second.
Why did every man in my life hide who they really were to me? I go to my closet and find something to wear, knowing Bishop is likely downstairs pacing, waiting for me to come down. I didn't have it in me when we left the hotel to get into it with him about everything.
Being a younger vampire, it’s harder for me to stay awake when the sun starts to rise. Normally I hate that, but I was thankful for it today. I was able to crash without having to go over everything in my mind. I settle on a simple dress before going into the bathroom and brushing out my hair. I stare at myself in the mirror. Something feels off. It’s not the pain of being apart from Valen either. It’s something more and I can’t figure it out. It’s hard to focus on what it might be when my heart is shredded. I’ve never felt more out of control than I do right now. It’s unsettling.
Leaving my room, I head downstairs into the living room where Bishop is pacing back and forth as I knew he would be. He stops when I enter the room. “Ravana.” He clears the distance between us. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.” His normally perfect suit looks crumpled, like he slept in it. Though I don’t think he slept at all.
“Why didn't you?” I ask. I could see not telling me when I was human, but not after I was changed. There was no need to hide it then.
“I failed you. I wasn't there to stop that man from hurting you.” He runs his hand through his hair. “When I brought you back you looked at me like I was a father figure to you. Always so trusting. You knew I would keep you safe, let me guide you into learning this new life. I didn't want to lose that. You may not be my daughter, but since that day you have felt like it. You lost your life that day, but I gained something I thought I’d never have. A child.”
My heart clenches because I can relate to that. “You might find a mate, Bishop. Look at Kane, his mate is human and now he’s going to be a father.” I try to give him hope, not wanting anyone to feel the loss I feel.
“I don’t think there is a mate out there for me, Ravana.” He says it with such certainty. I go to rebuff him, but he cuts me off. “I’ve been doing some reading since Kane and Juliet. With her being pregnant and all, I need to know everything I can.”
Always our protector. Watching out for all of us. It had all been a shock to all of us when we found out Juliet was pregnant.
“It’s rare for a vampire to mate with a human, and in the cases where the male was the vampire, the human females had become pregnant.”
“I think that’s pretty clear.” I laugh, but it’s forced. I noticed he said when the vampire was the male, the human woman became pregnant. Not the other way around. I still can’t help myself from asking, certain now that Valen is my mate. Ever since I woke I can feel him more and more. We’re connected. A hunger nags at me. I need him. More than that, I need to bite him badly. My mouth waters thinking about it. It’s been so long since I’ve experienced the feeling of hunger.
“Has it ever happened the other way? The female vampire becoming pregnant?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“I’ve sorry, Ravana. There wasn't anything documented, and I actually couldn't even find a vampire female-human male mated pair.” I see the sadness in his eyes for me. I know it’s hurting him, too, because he thinks me being childless lies on his shoulders because he didn't stop what happened to me. I could have been out there married as a human living a normal life with a house filled with kids. “That’s why I wasn't sure if you two really were even mated for sure,” he adds. I can hear an almost hopeful note to his words. Yeah, I can see why he wouldn’t want me to mate to a slayer.
“It’s fine.” I wave my hand. “It’s something I’ve learned to accept.” Children aren't in my future. I need to actually let that go and maybe I can live a happier life, come to terms with everything.
“You don’t have to lie to me, Ravana.” He pulls me in for a hug.
“I think I’m mated to Valen,” I whisper as he hugs me. “I’m mated to a man who kills my kind.” History sure does have a way of repeating itself, doesn't it? Not only that, I would never be able to give my mate what he truly wants.
“I won’t let anything happen to you again,” Bishop vows. I don’t want him to make a promise he can’t keep.
“I won’t be able to stay away from him. I’m already fighting myself from going to find him right now.”
“I’ve locked down the house. You can’t get out, Ravana.” His eyes lock on mine. “Even if you wanted to.” He’s not smug about his words, but they do hold an edge of warning to not even try. I know he probably has guards everywhere outside. Uncontrollable anger rises inside me.
“I know you’ve mated, but I’m seeing what can be done. Maybe we can break it. I still need to find out more about your mate. He’s made a name for himself, Ravana. Feared by vampires. It’s not only his name. It’s his family. He was born to kill our kind.” His words hang for a moment. “I don’t only mean that he’s trained in killing vampires. It’s in his blood. He’s human, but he’s is a little more than the average man. Faster, stronger, and can even sense our kind. He’s even more dangerous if he’s mated with
you. Had your blood. Who knows how strong he is now. There is no telling.”
“He would never hurt me,” I defend. I know this. But more than that, his words still ring in my ears. This isn't over, he said to me. “I don’t think you understand. I need his blood. It hurts. I feel hunger. Real hunger.” My hand goes to my stomach, the ache growing even more intense.
Bishop pulls out his phone and taps at it. “We need Kane. I want to know if he felt the same thing. I thought the wanting of blood was an indication of desire, a need for sex to feel connected. Are you sure that’s not what you mean?”
I shake my head. “Oh, I feel those things, too, but this feels like I’m starving to death.” I glance towards the door, but Bishop grabs for me, pulling me back. His strength is too great for me to fight. In my mind, I scream out Valen’s name.
“What the fuck?!” Kane bursts into the room, his mate not far behind him, followed by the twins. I turn to look at them all and a growl comes from deep inside of me.
“What the actual fuck is going on?” Ezra growls. Everyone is on edge.
“Let me go,” I demand.
“Calm down and I will,” Bishop responds coolly. “Breathe. I promise we will work this out.” I know he’s trying to calm me down, but I can’t find reason in my mind. Only one thing matters right now. Valen.
“He’s mine. You can’t keep me from him.” I jerk in Bishop’s hold, but it’s unbreakable. “I need him!” It comes out in a cry this time.
Everyone stands there in shock while I feel like I’m being ripped apart.
“Spit out what’s going on,” Kane demands. I can tell he’s not sure if he should attack Bishop or help him restrain me.
“She wants to go to him. I thought they might have mated. It’s clear now they have, but something is different.” He’s right. Something is different.
“I need him,” I say again.
“She craves his blood,” Bishop tells them. “This is more than mere desire. This is hunger.”