by Sara Schoen
"Well it's not happening now!"
"Why not? What is your problem with me, Callum, seriously? Just tell me what I did to make you so angry with me. You used to be so pleasant, even charming when we first met, but maybe that's because you just wanted me to trust you and help you with this case, and if that's the reason then you're still just as selfish as you were when you first started. You haven't changed!"
"Then you won't change either," Callum retorted. "If I was how you were and I haven't changed, then what hope is there for you to change? As for why I hate you, look at how you're acting! This is childish, irresponsible, and imprudent on your part. I thought you were different!"
"What's it matter if I was different?" I asked, throwing my arms up into the air in frustration.
"Nothing," he said quickly. "You do not have the right to drag up my past, you don't have the right to make judgments on what I did, and you certainly don't have a right to be a part of this investigation!"
"What are you saying?"
"I want you to go back to Virginia, better yet, go home. Go back to South Carolina, and don't come back into my life. I clearly made a mistake asking you to join this case, and to come into my life. I want you out of it now. I have no idea what I was thinking asking you to come," he huffed out as he plucked the file from my hands and sat back down.
"What are you talking about?" I asked in a confused daze. This conversation had gone a totally different direction than anticipated. I have no idea what I was thinking when I got that file out of storage, but I apparently wasn't thinking clearly.
I heard Callum sigh heavily, before looking up at me with an annoyed expression. "Well I guess since you're leaving, and I won't be seeing you again I guess there's no harm in telling you. I found you attractive when we first met, I wanted you to work with the team so that I could get to know you better. Then I figured out what kind of person you are. I don't like it, and now I would like you to leave and not return. Goodbye, Jessi."
"What did you just say?"
"I said nothing, now leave. I will tell the police commander to have someone take you to the airport."
"You found me attractive?" I asked curiously, and shocked honestly. Even when people found me attractive, once they figured out who I was they typically took off running, but he knew who I was and then found me attractive. That was a new idea to me, and I honestly was thrilled by it, but now I realized that my personality lacked a lot since that's what drove him away.
I had found him attractive too, while his personality lacked in some cases, but that completely cut me off. Maybe I did remind him of himself, and I failed when he tried to get me to change. Maybe he was just pushing me to get me to learn, but I took it the wrong way and saw it as him not having faith in me.
"Callum," I said softly, my voice dropping as I realized my mistake. "I had no right to drag up your past. I just wanted you to see that it wasn't your fault and that—”
"Stop, Jessi," he stated, interrupting me, but I didn't stop.
"You needed to see that you have changed, and that you can't keep blaming yourself."
"Jessi, stop!"
"You've become team leader and these people look up to you, but you're nowhere with them now and I realize that's because of me. I've let you down, but please don't be upset with them! It's my fault; don't cut yourself off from them please. I know I let you down because I didn't live up to expectations, but Callum you're cutting ties with them. They feel as if you don't care anymore. They see that you're angry and that you're losing focus. Don't let me change that!"
"Just stop!"
"You can't let me change that or they could end up like your last team. This man will kill to get to Audrey. She is who he wants, and the more they protect her the angrier he will get! You have to protect them again or they could die too!"
"Get out, get out, get out!" Callum yelled as he swiped the files off the desk in pure anger. I stood stunned for a few moments still trying to process what just happened. Although when his blue eyes met mine, I felt an icy chill race down my back. Without another moment of hesitation I walked briskly out of the room, leaving Callum there to cool off.
What had I done now? I thought to myself. I was going to have to go home, what was I thinking that was going to change? I thought I had read him accurately, but he was right, I was a novice that was acting like a child and now I suffered the consequences for it. I was going home, I clearly need time away from this job.
But I wasn't going to get it.
Chapter 12
I shoved the clothes I had brought with me into my suitcase. The hotel we were staying at had been paid for by the bureau, and was relatively nice since we never really spent any time here. Normally we would end up sleeping in the police station for the night just out of convenience or by accident. This job took a lot of time, and most nights when we were on a case was brutal. There was very little sleep, even sometimes at home. The nightmares would get to you, it was only a matter of time with the things we saw. There was always something, everyone had their breaking point, and in this job it was only a matter of time until you found it, or someone found it for you.
Callum had promptly kicked me off the team for bringing up his breaking point. He had lost his team, and I thought he was upset because he was the one making the calls, but even when I brought up the fact he had done everything he was supposed to do, it made it worse. I guess some things just belong in the past, and it was impudent of me to bring it up. He deserved peace after such an awful tragedy, and I hadn't given it to him. But he also couldn't live with that weight on his shoulders forever, it was going to bring him down one day. I just hoped he realized it before the emotions drowned him, and there wasn't a man to save anymore.
I left the hotel, into the awaiting car that was going to take me to Audrey and Damien before I got on the plane back to Virginia. Jason was going to follow a lead with Callum, so I was told that before I left I would act as the agent with them. They hadn't told me the lead, and I had a feeling they weren't going to share anything with me anymore. Kate must have been furious, that is if Callum told them why he sent me home. He could have lied to them; he seemed good at that.
Jason didn't speak much as we drove to the apartment Audrey shared with Damien near the college campus. He said that he would leave the car for me in a parking lot nearby, and warned me to be careful. Security had been increased due to the kidnapping and fear of another possible attempt on students, but that meant if the unknown subject was as organized as they believed him to be then he could figure out times and patterns.
"So all the cops just make people think they are safe?" I questioned as Jason put the car in park next to Callum’s SUV.
"Sometimes, that's all we can ask for. To feel safe," he said before he got out of this car and into Callum’s. Callum pulled away, not even taking the time to look in my direction. I knew his eyes would be filled with pain, annoyance, anger, or some strange mixture of the three. Maybe it was better that he hadn't looked at me, it would have only made me feel worse.
I stepped out of the car into the cool, crisp autumn air, and shivered. I despised the cold, and hated having to be outside when the temperature dipped below sixty degrees. I wrapped my arms tightly around my body and walked briskly to Audrey's apartment about two blocks from the parking lot. The streetlights shone brightly, giving the allusion that you could see whatever was coming toward you in the night, but you wouldn't know until it was too late. There was a cop car parked in the green area across the street, sitting empty, again just a placebo to make the students and faculty feel a little bit safer. With some subjects, it didn't matter the measures that were taken to improve safety. They would do anything to get the release they required or the person of their obsessions. It was a waiting game for them, and sometimes they could wait years to do it.
I knocked on the door until my hands hurt from the cold air letting the knock reverberate through my bones. There was yelling as someone said they were coming, from the
high pitch I assumed it was Audrey, but Damien opened the door. He was covered in what looked like flour and chocolate. It coated his clothing and the flour was dusting over the black color of his hair. He reminded me of Jack Frost from a children's story when I was little.
"What happened?"
"Audrey's cooking," was the only explanation he gave before he moved from the doorway to allow me to enter. "She was trying to make you dinner before you left, but she burnt the chicken and her dessert is now all over me." He gestured to the chocolate and when his hand went toward his head he said, "This was the second attempt. Clearly it didn't make it that far."
"That's fine, I already ate. Thought I would try a local restaurant at least once before I left. I think it was called Native Foods, the café a little uptown from here."
Damien offered a nod as an approval of my choice, but before he could answer Audrey piped up from the kitchen.
"You already ate?"
"Yes she did," Damien said as he pointed out a seat for me to sit in. "So let's give the kitchen a break before we have to clean up and come talk to Jessi, since she probably isn't going to visit us again after this."
"I will visit, I promise!"
"You said that two years ago," Audrey said, emerging from the kitchen covered in what I only imaged was the dessert she had attempted to make. There were chocolate smears over her clothes, as Damien had, except hers looked like she had dropped a whole chocolate cake and attempted to catch it with her shirt.
"My job is just so busy, it's hard to come out here to visit," I pointed out. It wasn't a lie, it was hard to visit, but to be honest I also didn't put a lot of effort into to visiting either because by the time I got home I was too exhausted to plan a trip. I never really knew my holidays until the week of, and even sometimes I was called in when I was supposed to be off. It was a hard job, but only someone in the profession would really understand.
"And now you don't even have a guy to come out here to visit. So I don't expect to see much of you after this case is done," Audrey stated with a smirk.
"It wouldn't have worked out anyway. We were too different." Even as the words left my mouth I could taste the displeasure in my own words. I had wanted it to work for a while, but there was just no way it could work between Callum and me. We were polar opposites, poles apart from each other.
"I think it's because of the case," Damien stated. "Look at Anna and Garrett, they made it through. We made it through, and hell, I was the one that took her." Audrey playfully slapped his chest, and offered a soft giggle at the reminder of their own kidnapping scenario. "It takes time, and sometimes it just falls into place."
"You guys were on the other side though. Anna and Garrett were stuck together, you were trying to hide her from Steve and it just happened to work out. Now I'm on the other side of the case. I'm the one looking for these girls and the man that took them. It's a different game when you're on this side. There's just so much on your shoulders, the stress, the parents crying about their children, and the body," I shivered absentmindedly. "We could have worked, maybe, under different circumstances, but being on this side of the case, it's more than I could handle."
"Maybe when the case is over he will come find you and give you a big romantic gesture and say he was so dumb to let you go, like in those Lifetime movies," Audrey suggested with a smile, imaging the romantic gesture possibilities. I almost hated to burst her happy bubble, almost.
"Something tells me Callum isn't a big romantic gesture kind of guy," I said, watching her face fall before she sighed.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out."
"It's not your fault, it's mine really. You were right, I was only thinking of myself. In the long run it wasn't going to work to think only of myself. I had to start thinking as a team, but I couldn't do it. I messed up, me alone and now I pay the price for it. Hopefully it just won't go on my record or something that I'm hard to work with. Then it would be hard getting another case with a team."
"Hopefully," Audrey agreed before turning the topic back to us. We talked for hours, until there was a knock on the door and Jason and Kate stepped in to take over for me.
I told Audrey and Damien goodbye, refusing to hug them and get myself covered in the dessert that covered their clothes. There was a promise about visiting more often than every two years, and even Jason and Kate wished me good luck for when I got back to Virginia. Jason had brought up something about another case I was supposedly working on. I tried to hide my confusion realizing that Callum must have said that I was needed in a different case instead of telling them I had been overly disrespectful to him and brought up a painful past.
It was for the best for me that he did that, he could have ruined me if he had told them the truth. It was just awful that I had to leave when I felt there was so much I could help with and I was learning so much. For once I had the chance to be useful, and the people here didn't treat me like glass. I had messed it up before I got the chance to make a difference, but it was no one's fault but mine.
The air had chilled since I had arrived, dropping about fifteen or so degrees. I could see my breath in the cold night air. The lights were still on, the cop car was still parked in its spot and the few people that were out were walking in pairs. There was a safety in numbers, at least according to safety videos I had watched in public school. Little did they know that those videos just scared kids and teens instead of educating them. If they considered teaching stranger danger, they should have realized that very few people that attack others don't know them. Most are people we know, and would never consider dangerous until it's too late.
I slipped into the car, and slammed the door behind me. There was a knot in the pit of my stomach, I would have to tell my dad I was coming home and why. He would hear about it through the grape vine, whether the story Callum had told his team or the one I was going to tell him, one way or another he would hear it. I flipped open the old cell phone I had and started to type in my father's number, but I never got to make the call.
The door flung open, and before I could react I was dragged from the car. I thrashed, screamed, and called out for help, but nothing came. I tried to push off the car and knock him over so I could escape, but he held on too tightly. We struggled until I landed my elbow into his stomach, he let go for just enough time for me to escape.
My feet slapped along the pavement; I could hear him chasing me. There was nowhere for me to go, I either went to Audrey's and led him right to her or down an empty street. I decided that it was best to race toward the FBI agents that were currently sitting in Audrey's den instead of worrying about leading him to Audrey. I ran as fast as I could. I could see the empty police car, the lights on in her apartment, but before I could make it to the door, he grabbed me. There was a sudden blow to my head, and I was silenced. The world started spinning, I started to fall and soon I couldn't see anything except black.
Chapter 13
A chill raced through my veins. Goosebumps prickled the length of my arms. There was darkness everywhere, even after I woke up. I couldn’t tell the difference between when I closed my eyes and when I had them open. The sound of dripping water was a constant plop in my ears, making my head hurt worse with each droplet.
My head was throbbing wildly, it felt like a bass drummer was practicing a long solo on my head, but at least it was rested against something soft. I felt as if I was lying on a mattress, but I didn’t have the strength yet to move and figure it out. There was a gentle clicking of fence links hitting the post, a sound I hadn’t heard since I was a little girl playing idly in the backyard. Out in the open, free for the taking. It was sad to think that the innocence of child’s play could be ruined in one moment, the moment a mother gave up her daughter to save herself.
It was pitiful to think about in my opinion. There was nothing that could have made me give up another person to live with Steve Bennett. It was sick, and completely unforgivable. Even when my mother tried to apologize after I was returned, and years lat
er as well. I just couldn’t bring myself to forgive her, for her allowing my innocence to be taken from me and sending me into a life where I was constantly looking over my shoulder and knowing the awful truth of the world we lived in. That no one was safe from men like Steve Bennett, not even children.
The fence links hit the post again, louder this time as if the wind was forcing them against each other, but there was no wind. The water dripped loudly somewhere close by, the fence would rattle, and then there would be soft voices drifting through the air. I could be outside, I thought as I reached my hand over the soft padding beneath me and went to touch the grass that should lace through my slender fingers, but what I found instead brought a new horror. Instead of the soft crunch of blades of grass beneath my fingers, there was only hard concrete. My hand slapped loudly onto the cold floor, and caused the echo to reverberate around the room.
Fear spiked through my body, as my mind started to piece together the events of the night before. A man, in dark clothing, had pulled me from the car. I had been making a phone call, I remembered trying to think about how I could be so stupid to make that mistake. It was a very high statistic that since women would get into their cars and do something before pulling out of the parking lot, most were put into dangerous situations. People could get into the car and pull a gun to order them somewhere else, demand money, injure or kill and even kidnap. A heavy sigh left my lips, I had been careless, and it got me in trouble.
I tried to ignore it, but a part of me wondered if Callum and his team had found out yet if I had been taken. How long had I been out? Would they find me alive, or dead? I shook my head free of those thoughts. I had to focus now, I had to get out and find my way back to town. Otherwise, I was waiting for another man, just like Steve Bennett, only obsessed with succeeding in his sick dream this time.
I forced myself off the mattress, my body aching every time I moved. Eventually I got to my feet again, only to collapse to the ground when I got dizzy. I hit a fence, my fingers slipped through the familiar diamond shaped slots from the fence around my yard as a kid. Slowly, I slid back to the ground and rested my head against the cold metal links.