“Are there any more nuts left in the Grumpy Woods?” asked Nutmeg.
“Now, that’s the million-dollar question,” came a voice from a dark corner of the clubhouse. Out limped Ace, a retired flying squirrel who made his home with the Twitchy Tails.
“Squirrels always know—” said Filbert.
“—where nuts are buried,” finished Hazel.
Ace just laughed. “That’s what One-Tail Willy used to say. But to this day, no one can find his legendary stash. We’ve been digging up these woods for years.”
“Wait a minute. His name was One-Tail Willy? Don’t all squirrels have only one tail?” asked Macadamia.
“That’s not the point,” said Ace. “The point is, if we could just locate One-Tail Willy’s treasure, there would be enough for all of us.”
“What are you trying to say?” asked Coco.
The Twitchy Tails and the Puffy Cheeks lost control.
“WE’RE GOING TO STARVE!!!” It was one thing they could agree on.
CHAPTER SIX
War was declared in the Grumpy Woods. A war of nuts. A war fighting over nuts, to be exact.
At their clubhouse, the Puffy Cheeks were planning their first move.
“By my calculations, we have several months before new nuts can be harvested here in the Grumpy Woods. Therefore, One-Tail Willy’s legendary stash is our only hope of survival. We need a strategy to outwit those dimwits and find the treasure first,” said Coco. “What are squirrels scared of?”
“Bacon?” guessed Macadamia.
“Cake?” guessed Nutmeg.
“Can we go search for cake and bacon to scare those Twitchy Tails with?” the two begged as their tummies groaned with hunger.
“Stop thinking with your stomachs!” said Coco. “Focus that hunger to defeat the enemy.”
“I could focus better with cake,” mumbled Nutmeg.
Officer Pouch pulled a How to Get Rid of Pesky Squirrels book out of his sagging cheeks.
Officer Jon skimmed through the fairly large volume and came to a conclusion. “It says here that squirrels are scared of everything. Including other squirrels.”
“Precisely what I thought,” said Coco. “Here’s our plan. We place mirrors all over the Grumpy Woods. Those silly squirrels will see their reflections, freak out, and scare themselves right out of the Woods for good. We won’t even have to break a sweat chasing them. Once they’re gone, One-Tail Willy’s haul is all ours.”
The Puffy Cheeks broke into a fit of evil laughter and then got to work setting up the mirrors. And it worked … kind of.
Hazel and Filbert were on duty, searching for the lost One-Tail Willy stash, when they came upon one of the mirrors. They both froze.
“Don’t—” said Hazel.
“—move,” finished Filbert.
“They are both looking—” started Hazel.
“—right at me,” finished Filbert.
“Actually, at me,” said Hazel.
“Well, the mangy one is looking at me,” said Filbert.
The standoff lasted until … SPLAT!
Opal Owl, not seeing the mirror, flew straight into it. Her beak bent out of shape. It didn’t take long for her to track down where the mirrors had come from. Let’s just say that the last thing a chipmunk should do is anger an owl.
Seeing the Puffy Cheeks chased by Opal gave the Twitchy Tails a brilliant idea. They set up fake owl decoys all over the Woods. The chipmunks were terrified! Opal Owl seemed to be everywhere! It wasn’t until they saw Dawn Fawn dusting the heads of the owls that the chipmunks realized they had been tricked.
The Puffy Cheeks retaliated by sprinkling cayenne pepper and peppermint far and wide. But the clouds of spice got into every townscritter’s nose, causing a sneeze-a-thon of epic proportions. Mayor Quill’s nose got a tickle so bad that he sneezed thirteen times in a row.
“Achooo!”
“Gesundheit, sir,” said Humphrey.
“Achooo!”
“Gesundheit, sir.”
“Achooo!”
“Gesundheit, sir.”
Mayor Quill stomped his foot. He shook from head to toe. Just before the mayor exploded, Humphrey rolled into a defensive ball.
Achoooooooo ka-boom!
Mayoral Decree 1,973 was declared: “‘Gesundheit’ shall only be said after the first sneeze.”
Sam suddenly appeared, scrambling from the branches above to hang his head upside down in the doorway.
“You didn’t hear this from me, but apparently chipmunks are repelled by, um, fox urine,” he whispered. “But I can’t find a fox anywhere in the Grumpy Woods. Is this a bad time to ask if you would pee in this cup?” Sam held out a cup. Humphrey covered his eyes in embarrassment, and the mayor …
KA-BOOM!
Quills exploded everywhere. Again.
The Twitchy Tails needed another strategy. That’s when Ace unveiled the motion-activated Chipmunkinator, a primitive contraption made of tree bark and some long, braided grasses, that launched water balloons. Problem was, the Chipmunkinator did not know the difference between the movement of a chipmunk or a snake or a rabbit or even a mayor.
Mayor Quill, taking a break from the grueling work that comes with being a mayor, was sunbathing on the private, members-only official City Hall patio. Of course, he was the only member, and he liked it that way. Humphrey was only allowed on the patio to fan the mayor with a large leaf when he got overheated. Without warning there was a—
SPLOOOOOOOSH!
The Chipmunkinator soaked them both.
“That’s it!” yelled Quill. Humphrey shielded himself with the large leaf fan just in case.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Mayor Quill demanded an emergency town meeting and insisted that everyone attend.
Still dripping wet, Quill stood in a puddle behind his podium. He banged his gavel several times, sending water droplets through the air. There was no calming the Puffy Cheeks and the Twitchy Tails. Of course, Officer Jon and Officer Pouch tried to keep the peace, but once they remembered that they, too, were chipmunks and that they didn’t have any nuts, they joined the panic.
The squabbling boomed through the Grumpy Woods, and soon the other townscritters were caught up in the commotion.
“By order of Mayoral Decree number one thousand nine hundred and seventy-four, the Twitchy Tails and the Puffy Cheeks must share everything equally,” Mayor Quill proclaimed.
“Yay! We love sharing!” cheered the bears.
“But—” started Sam.
“You heard the mayor,” said Humphrey Hedgehog. “Absolutely everything.”
“Using this can of paint and this paintbrush,” explained Mayor Quill, “Humphrey will oversee the operation and make sure that everything within the Woods is divided in half. One half for the Puffy Cheeks and one half for the Twitchy Tails.”
To demonstrate, Humphrey took the paint and paintbrush and, with an authoritative flourish, drew a line straight down the room. He accidentally painted right over the paw of the littlest bear, who giggled and said, “Sharing tickles!”
Once the Puffy Cheeks and the Twitchy Tails were standing on opposite sides of the line, Quill banged his gavel to end the meeting.
Humphrey took his job very seriously. Soon a line was drawn down a tree through the Woods. Over every rock. Even Sheriff Sherry.
“Justice must be equally distributed,” said Coco.
“We get the end with the hat,” said Sam.
However, it wasn’t always so easy to determine sides.
While the Puffy Cheeks were busy digging up one side of the woods, looking for the lost treasure, the Twitchy Tails were digging on the other side. They frantically dug and dug, zigging and zagging this way and that way, creating tunnels. Tunnels that led the Puffy Cheeks to pop up on the Twitchy side, while the Twitchy Tails popped up on the Puffy side.
“Get out of our territory!” demanded Coco.
“You get out of our territory,” demanded Sam.
“We’ll tell Sh
eriff Sherry on you,” said Nutmeg.
“Your end of Sherry can’t hear,” taunted Hazel and Filbert.
Just then the littlest bear came skipping down the painted line. “Hi, friends,” he greeted the chipmunks and the squirrels.
The Puffy Cheeks grabbed the littlest bear’s arm and pulled. “You are our friend!”
“I am!” cheered the littlest bear.
The Twitchy Tails grabbed the littlest bear’s other arm and pulled back. “He’s our friend!”
The littlest bear giggled. “We’re dancing!”
The littlest bear was pulled back and forth. Back and forth. The two sides locked eyes. And then …
“WE DECLARE A RUMBLE!” they all yelled. It was yet another thing they could agree on.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Both the Twitchy Tails and the Puffy Cheeks prepared for an ultimate showdown—the Rumble, as it was called. The Rumble would settle the battle between the two sides once and for all. It was to be at high noon (which is the same as noon, but with an extra word) on the Grumpy Grassland.
“What’s a rumble?” the littlest bear asked Bubs.
“It’s a dance-off in which opposing teams dance until a winner is declared,” Bubs explained.
“Ooh,” said the bears.
“What a delightful way to settle disagreements,” said Shades. “Let’s see if either side needs our help.”
The Super Happy Party Bears boogied straight to the underground clubhouse of the Puffy Cheeks. One by one, the bears shimmied down a very tight tunnel and popped out in a cavernous room deep beneath the Woods. At the far end was a door. Officer Jon and Officer Pouch were standing guard.
“I think you have all done quite enough,” said Officer Jon.
“But we are here to help with the Rumble,” explained Shades. “We have some moves we think will come in handy for the Puffy Cheeks.”
“What kind of moves?” asked Officer Jon.
“Moves that really pack a punch,” said Jacks.
“Now you’re talking,” said Officer Jon.
The officers stepped aside and let the bears into the clubhouse, where an assembly line was in progress. Coco was bent over some blueprints, barking orders at Macadamia and Nutmeg, who were whittling twigs with their teeth.
“Gnaw faster!” yelled Coco.
“But I’m so weak,” said Nutmeg. “I haven’t eaten a nut for an entire DAY!”
“And I’m even weaker,” added Macadamia.
The bears jumped into action.
“IT’S SUPER HAPPY RUMBLE TIME! SUPER HAPPY RUMBLE TIME!”
“We’re here to help,” said the littlest bear.
“Fine,” said Coco, unamused. “We need five of these catapults.”
“Ooh! We love arts and crafts!” said the bears.
The bears got to work and finished the catapults in record time. Then they covered the catapults with sparkles and rainbow paint. They even decorated the boulders with fun messages like WE LOVE RUMBLES and ROCK ON. Finally, they showed their handiwork to the chipmunks.
“Not quite the fierce message we wanted to send,” mumbled Officer Jon.
“Are these going to be used to launch glitter into the sky while we do our Rumble dance?” asked Mops.
“Something like that,” said Coco. “Now help me with these boulders.”
CHAPTER NINE
The Puffy Cheeks said they were all ready for the Rumble. And although the Super Happy Party Bears wished they had practiced the dance together, they could understand not wanting to share their smooth moves until high noon.
“Maybe the Twitchy Tails need some extra preparation help, too,” said the littlest bear. So the bears trekked to the Twitchy Tails’ clubhouse.
Sam greeted them at the door. He was wearing oversized wings made out of a few of Opal’s feathers (they’d fallen out when she smacked into the mirror) and some large leaves sewn together like a quilt.
“Oooh. We love costumes!” cheered the bears.
The bears joined the rest of the Twitchy Tails, who were also wearing wings. They were seated on the floor, listening to Ace, who was pointing at a large map on the wall.
“So the pinecone airstrike will depart from this tree to the east,” continued the flying squirrel.
Hazel raised her hand. “Why do we have to fly?”
“We’re not flying squirrels,” said Filbert.
“We’ve been through this,” explained Sam. “Ace cannot lead the mission. His blood sugar is way too low to fly at such altitudes. We all need to do our part to seize control of the nut reserves in the Grumpy Woods.”
“Our blood sugar is low, too!” whined Hazel.
“Yeah. I’m so dizzy!” whimpered Filbert.
“What about the bears?” asked Ace.
All eyes turned to the Super Happy Party Bears.
“What did you guys eat for breakfast?” asked Sam.
“Doughnuts!” cheered the bears.
“And mid-morning snack?”
“Doughnuts!” said the bears.
“No low blood sugar here,” said Sam. “Welcome to the Twitchy Tails!”
“We need to get the bears to the pine trees before high noon. Follow me and look sharp,” said Ace.
“Do we get costumes, too?” asked the littlest bear.
The Twitchy Tails crawled on their bellies, careful not to be seen so close to the Grumpy Grassland before high noon. The bears, of course, thought this was all part of the dance.
“I love crawling,” said Jacks.
“Maybe we should add a roll or two,” suggested Shades.
“And a spin,” added Mops.
The Twitchy Tails hushed them and kept crawling, stopping at the base of a ginormous pine tree. Its top was hidden in the clouds.
“We need you to climb to the top of this tree, gathering as many pinecones as you can on your way up,” said Sam.
“We love climbing trees!” cheered the bears.
“Where are our costumes?” asked the littlest bear again.
“When you get to the top, wait quietly until you hear the code word, and then chuck the pinecones toward the Grumpy Grassland,” instructed Ace.
“What’s the code word?” asked Jacks.
“Rumble,” answered Sam matter-of-factly. And with that, the Twitchy Tails scurried off to ready themselves, and the bears started their long climb upward. It was nearly high noon.
CHAPTER TEN
It was high noon (which, again, is the same as noon, but with an extra word), and all was peaceful on the Grumpy Grassland until the squeaky wheels of five technicolored catapults rolled in from the west.
The Puffy Cheeks were ready.
From the east, three winged squirrels and a limping flying squirrel emerged. The Twitchy Tails were ready.
Above, the pine tree seemed to giggle with anticipation. The Super Happy Party Bears were ready.
As the two opposing sides faced off, there came a commotion from the south. It was the townscritters marching to stop the Rumble.
“By order of Mayoral Decree one thousand nine hundred and seventy-five, there is to be no Rumble!” hollered Mayor Quill loudly enough to be heard by all, including the Super Happy Party Bears, who were waiting for just such a code word.
At the word Rumble, hundreds of pinecones rained from the branches above, along with a dozen bears who were ready to finally show their Rumble dance moves. The bears landed in the center of the three groups and struck a pose.
“Hit it,” cued Big Puff as Tunes pressed PLAY on her boom box.
The bears popped to the left. They stomped to the right. Roll, roll, robot arms.
The music was catchy. The townscritters, the Twitchy Tails, and the Puffy Cheeks looked on, dismayed. Sam started to tap his toes.
The bears continued dancing. They wriggled across the grass like worms, spun on their heads, and then balanced on one paw as they bounced in circles.
“SUPER HAPPY RUMBLE TIME! SUPER HAPPY RUMBLE TIME!”
Th
e ground was quaking and shaking as the bears encouraged everyone to stomp to the rhythm. It was difficult to resist. The Puffy Cheeks stomped. The Twitchy Tails clomped.
“Stop rumbling this instant!” yelled Mayor Quill.
“Are they dancing or fighting?” asked Humphrey.
Stomp. Stomp. Hop-hop. Clompy-clomp.
Just then the ground shuddered. It rumbled. And as the littlest bear stamped his littlest paw, the field caved in. Down tumbled the Super Happy Party Bears, the Twitchy Tails, the Puffy Cheeks, and the townscritters.
“Aw, nuts,” said Coco as she noticed the five destroyed catapults sticking out of the rubble.
“Exactly!” said Sam. “NUTS!”
Everyone was buried in an enormous load of nuts.
“It’s One-Tail Willy’s stash,” said Ace. “The Super Happy Party Bears found it!”
“They saved the day!” cheered the Twitchy Tails and the Puffy Cheeks.
“Looks like it’s time for a Harvest Nut-Gathering Party!” cheered the bears. “We’ll make the doughnuts!”
Humphrey, still taking his painting duty seriously, helped distribute the hoard with the rest of the townscritters.
“One for the Puffy Cheeks. One for the Twitchy Tails,” he said, making two very large piles.
The chipmunks stuffed their cheeks while Hazel and Filbert hurried off to hide their stash in a new secret spot. A spot that wouldn’t be danced into by the Super Happy Party Bears.
Soon One-Tail Willy’s treasure was equally divided.
One last nut remained. Coco reached for it. Sam reached for it. Coco pulled one way. Sam pulled the other way. Everyone held their breath, unsure of what would happen. The chipmunk and the squirrel locked eyes. And then … together they handed the nut to the Super Happy Party Bears.
Super Happy Party Bears--Going Nuts Page 2