“Your loyalty is to her now, not me, isn’t it?” Leonidas asked.
A dangerous question to answer.
“You can’t help it,” Leonidas said. “Our father tries to protect you from your sigil, but they couldn’t. I understand that, Abel, because my loyalty is to you as well. I hope you’ll forgive me for this…with time.
“Tonight,” he continued. “I’m sending you to Emmaline du Barien’s party. You’ll send a message ahead, saying you want to speak to Phoebe there, with apologies for last night. Obviously she will accept because she can’t resist you any more than you can resist her. Take this.” He handed me a tiny vial. “Be careful with this. It’s a very precious poison that affects humans but not dragons.”
“Phoebe has dragon blood.”
“Some dragon blood, perhaps? But maybe not enough. It has been known to work on priestesses. It will paralyze her temporarily so she won’t be able to cry for help. All you have to do is get her out of the building and the Black Army will protect you from there.”
“Her other guardians will kill me.”
“Will they? That’s a bet I’m willing to make, knowing how much killing you would hurt her. They might bluff, but you know that’s it. Your worst problem will be an unusually brave du Barien guard. But you have powers none of those guards will have.” He forced it into my hand. “This is your last chance, Abel. I’ve given you quite a few by now. Don’t fail me. You’ve given me the two prize cities of the realm in your career. Let me give my greatest commander a worthy send-off. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to consider you my enemy. Don’t make me do this.”
I clutched the vial. I couldn’t quite imagine a send-off. I couldn’t imagine what I would do in this castle he was offering me. But Phoebe would be there; Phoebe would be safe with me forever, locked behind the walls of our own private haven. Her other guardians would go to the Isles…if the emperor kept his promises.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Phoebe
“Stay back here until everyone has arrived,” Emmaline told us.
“Why?” Forrest asked.
“I want you to make an entrance.”
“Why?” Forrest asked, with an edge to his tone she breezed right over. “I told you to keep it low key.”
“Oh, I know, but in order to get support I had to tell a few people, of course. Please, just stay here and one of my girls will come get you.”
We sat back in our rooms listening to the volume rise out in the main hall. When the girl came to get us, Forrest refused to come out. “I’d rather stay here for now,” he said.
“I don’t know if Miss du Barien will like that,” the girl said uncertainly, but she didn’t challenge him.
Gilbert, Rin and I followed her out onto the gallery. Emmaline was waiting to announce us. She spread her arms, like she was enjoying every minute of attention and didn’t worry at all that she might be murdered for supporting us. “And here they are!”
The guests applauded.
“Oh no,” Gilbert whispered. “Sir Forrest will not be happy about this.”
I was the one who said we should ask Emmaline for help in the first place, so I was even more apprehensive as we walked down the stairs. The whole crowd was staring at us like we were heroes. I recognized some of the same faces from last time; beautiful girls and well-fed matrons, smug-looking businessmen with interesting beards, all kinds of gowns and jewels and feathers and silk and velvet clothes with polished shoes. All cheering for us, wanting to talk to us and touch us.
“What about the dragon?” a girl asked me. “I want to see a real dragon.”
“How did you defeat the Black Army?”
“I knew it all along,” one old woman was muttering at me. “I knew it all along! The young master Percival was murdered.”
We were getting increasingly swarmed.
“Where is Sir Forrest? I hope he wasn’t hurt…”
“I’m so sorry, my lady, I met you before and I had no idea that you were—who you were.”
I looked at Emmaline like what. the. hell.
She put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close to her. “I have just been telling them all about your astonishing exploits.” To my ear, she said, “This is how you win a war like this, darling. You have to be larger than life. You have to be a symbol of hope for every grievance and sorrow everyone has ever had with the Empire or the Elders.”
“Um…” I swallowed down a wave of terror.
I was used to performing on a stage. And I was starting to get used to fighting. But I was completely unprepared for this. I didn’t feel like a symbol of hope for every person in Capamere.
“You didn’t warn me that it would be like this!” I hissed as a woman tried to hand me her baby.
“Trust me, Phoebe. Tonight is the night you become a goddess, which means…no one can kill you without messing with the gods.” She gave my cheek a peck and urged me toward the baby.
“Please,” said the mother. “Please bless him, my lady.”
“Oh!” I was a bit speechless looking into the anxious blue eyes of the infant. Yeah, kid, I don’t know what’s going on either. I put my hand on the baby’s head. It was dressed in a frilly white outfit and I wasn’t sure if this meant girl or boy in the capital. “Um—I wish your baby to grow up strong and healthy, with good fortune.”
“Oh, thank you, my lady! A real priestess! I never thought I would see such a thing with my own eyes!”
I grabbed Gilbert’s hand. “I’m freaking out,” I said, as I started seeing more confused little bundles of lace bob my way.
“A Strawberry Girl, freaking out? Just smile and nod.”
After the impromptu Blessing of the Babies was over, it was apparently time for the Parade of the Grievances, as people started coming up to us and telling all their worst stories of oppression and woe and their ideas for how the kingdom could be better. Even Gilbert seemed unprepared for the level of attention we were getting. If Forrest ever appeared, he must have gotten one look at us below and turned right back around.
“I’ve collected ten thousand gilden for you already,” Emmaline said. “And the pledges of a brand new armored carriage, an additional fifty guards and two fighting dogs, and the sacred sword Briandil which has been in the family of the Tendermeers for seven centuries.”
“Wow,” I said. “Thanks.”
That sounded good. I did wonder how we were going to manage all this. Who was going to handle the dogs? How slow would we travel with over a hundred men protecting us? The Black Army would be able to find us easily. Of course, if we didn’t have enough guards, that would also be bad. How awkward would it be for me to be the only girl (presumably) with a hundred guards surrounding me while everyone thought I was some kind of fertility sex goddess? When I was in the Strawberry Girls, I can’t say my experiences in the company of men had always been that positive, and I did not trust a hundred guys to understand that I was only meant for my guardians and I didn’t want so much as a lewd comment from the rest of them. I could imagine fights breaking out. Alternately, maybe if they saw me as a goddess, they would leave me alone, but then I would have to live up to my reputation, like Himika.
“You look pale,” Rin said.
“I just need some fresh air, I think…”
“Take a moment, then. Gilbert and I will handle this.”
I ducked my head beneath the crowd in the hopes no one would notice me leaving, while I heard Rin barking at someone, “The priestess needs to rest a moment!” I fled out the nearest door and found myself in a courtyard garden under the moonlight, surrounded by ancient stone walls on all sides. The garden was somewhat of a maze of hedges and flower bushes, and I ran through it until I felt at least a little bit of safe distance.
I realized how heavily I was breathing, even though I hadn’t run that much. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. As I thought about it, it felt a little like joining the troupe. At first, I was ecstatic just to be accepted, and then
I realized I had to leave my home and my mom and sing and dance in front of thousands of people, and for the first few weeks I went a little numb. But I had the other girls in the troupe to talk to then.
I’m alone in this…
It was nothing new to me, that the priestess stood alone. I had my guardians, but their roles were different from my own. The more people knew who I was, the lonelier it seemed. I wasn’t used to people looking up to me, and toward me, for something.
I can’t let them down.
This realization had been slowly sinking in since the day I left with Sir Forrest. If I failed, thousands of dreams would die with me.
I heard the barest scuff of boots on the smooth stones of the garden path. I walked forward, looking for the sound. My senses tingled, the hair of my arms standing on end. I already felt his presence. I met his cold eyes in the shadows.
“Abel…what are you doing here?”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Abel
Every time I saw her, she seemed a little older, with more shadow in her eyes and less to smile about. She stood in the moonlight, her arms and shoulders bare in her gown, her hair pinned up with flowers. She looked as beautiful and dewy as the blossoms in the garden, lush with the waning days of summer.
But she was afraid of me.
I used to see hope and optimism there. She once thought that she could save me, and now she shrunk back a little. She had abandoned her pursuit. Abandoned the thought of me.
“Abel,” she said, her voice trembling a little, but she sounded firm. “I have four guardians. My sigils say that you are the fourth. But I can’t trust you. I have named my own fourth protector. He can’t stir my sigil but at least I know his blades are sworn to me and not the Emperor. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Something wrenched deep inside my gut. The poison was on my lips, waiting to claim her kiss. I had done what he asked of me. How wrong it all was. The icy beast inside me stirred, wanting to be set free. Everything in me wanted to be free.
I couldn’t lie to her.
“Phoebe,” I said. “The Emperor sent me here to kidnap you.”
“Is that what you’re going to do?” she asked.
“He told me that he’ll give me a castle of my own where I can keep you safe, and he agreed to send the others to the Isles. If I don’t take it, he’ll consider me a traitor and he’ll kill you. He might kill me first, and Sir Forrest and the others, just to punish you. Or maybe he’ll be gentle because of Princess Himika. I don’t know for sure.”
“Or he might experiment on me first,” she snapped. “So are you still going to fight for him? I want a straight answer now.”
“I feel this need to protect you that is more intense than anything else. If I join you, I would be sealing your death. That’s what I keep trying to tell you.”
“You don’t know that! You won’t know until you’ve tried to fight with me. Let’s see how strong we are together, and see if we can escape. I would still rather die with all of you, knowing I tried, than give up and go to some stupid castle and sentence Forrest and Gilbert and Niko to exile!” She sounded desperate as she cried, “Why would you even hesitate? What has he given you?”
“A home. A purpose.” A sardonic little laugh escaped me. “But you’re right.”
“What does your heart want?” she asked. She looked at me like she knew my heart better than I did. Which was probably true.
“My heart wants the truth…the person who sees right through me. The sigil that was burned away, the life I was denied…” I stepped closer to her and gods, I had never wanted so much to put my hands on a woman. Through my years in the military I had put up with whispers because I didn’t spend my evenings with prostitutes and I rebuffed the advances of all the women who wanted to marry me. But it wasn’t true that I had no interest in sex. In fact, I burned with desire that seemed to have no object. No woman nor man seemed worthy of the feeling.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” I said, slipping my hand around the back of her head, feeling the soft hair at the nape of her neck and how she couldn’t help but lean slightly into my touch.
My entire body was tense with the force of a lifetime of pent feeling and I was afraid of what I might do to her. I didn’t want to break her, this perfect being of soft brown eyes and full lips that parted just a hair as she studied me. I wondered if I knew how to touch her the right way, when all I had ever done was fight and train, and come home to the cold empty rooms and solitude I preferred.
“I want you,” I said. “I would rather die fighting for you than steal you away to wither. My priestess, my Phoebe…that’s what you are.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Phoebe
Gods…how I had been praying he would say these words to me, that the grip of his past would break. I felt his strong hand clutch me close, the way his touch was full of urgency but also gentle. I heard the relief in his tone, saw his eyes succumb to me, and I knew I could believe him.
I was so happy I felt like I could explode. He was finally mine to touch and taste. His ice blue eyes were mine to gaze into, the untamed brown hair was mine to rumple, the armor was mine to peel off and every muscular inch of him was mine to feel around me. And his soul—that was mine too. I would be with him forever and break down all his walls. He wouldn’t be able to resist me if he tried. Whatever pain he had felt in the past, I would ease; whatever dreams he had never dared to speak of, we would find them together.
Four guardians. Had any priestess in the past hundred years completed her set? In this moment, I was full of hope that I could keep on going.
“I knew it,” I whispered. “I knew it all along. You were always meant to be mine.”
The good thing about Abel being on the shorter side was that it was easy to pull him into a kiss. I didn’t have to battle with his height so much. His lips spread to meet mine, his tongue thrusting into my mouth like he had been starved for me.
And then he suddenly shoved me back with both hands.
“Fuck,” he snapped.
I was completely jarred. What had gone wrong? He didn’t even seem like a guy who cursed much. “Abel…?”
I managed to say his name and then I started feeling strange, like my body was turning to noodles. I stumbled back, trying to find a place to sit down.
“There was poison on my lips,” he said, in a tone of dread. “I lost myself in you—I forgot. Leonidas gave it to me so I could kidnap you, and—”
“And you—you went that far…” My knees gave out under me and I barely managed to sort of squat before I fell. “You thought you’d—actually do it?” My mouth wasn’t working that well anymore either.
“No,” he said. “I didn’t know what I’d do. I just didn’t want to hurt you. If that meant taking you somewhere safe…”
“Uhh…” I slumped onto the path. My voice wasn’t really working anymore. I shut my mouth before I lost all control and started drooling or something. I could still feel my body—and how very hard the ground was—but it wouldn’t do anything I told it to do. I couldn’t even scream.
Abel moved to pick me up, but I saw something moving fast behind him. Of course, I couldn’t warn him whatsoever, which was his own fault.
Niko, in dragon form, burst through the bushes and tackled Abel, snapping his jaws at his arm, shredding his shirt and drawing blood immediately. This time, it wasn’t Abel’s sword arm and I realized Abel had the Monster Cleaver. As he drew the blade, Niko swung his tail around and knocked Abel forward, then lunged onto him, his claws shredding against Abel’s light armor.
Now I screamed reflexively, but all that came out was a weak, “Uhhh…!”
Not this again. I already had to watch Abel and Forrest fight before, but at least at that time I could break it up. Besides, I was worried about Niko, throwing himself into a fight when he should be resting. I was completely helpless as Niko pinned Abel against the stones.
“What did you do to her?” he hissed.
> “I want to fight alongside you,” Abel said.
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
“I accidentally gave her poison.”
“Accidentally?”
“Get off me. I don’t want to have to hurt you. I can explain…”
“You don’t want to have to hurt me? Let’s see about that. I wouldn’t go up against you in my human skin, but right now you look rather vulnerable.”
Abel grunted with fury. His pride didn’t like that. I saw a weird look in his eyes and I was afraid he was going to freeze Niko.
Not that I could do anything about that either. I had this wonderful view of the fight and that was it. I could manage a few little “uhnnn ahhh” sounds and oh yeah, I was definitely drooling now. Plus the weight of my body was pinning my right arm down and it was getting painful.
Niko slithered back and clamped his jaws onto one of Abel’s boots, shaking his head like Wretch with her prey, wrenching the boot off none too gently. Abel shouted with pain. It looked like Niko had twisted his ankle. I tried to scream or move and managed only a slight twitch.
I had to focus and tap into my mental connection with them.
Niko, stop! He’s on our side!
Niko’s head snapped up toward me. “We’ve given him enough chances.”
Abel held up a hand. “I surrender,” he said.
Forrest, Gilbert and Rin came running out to us then. Niko seemed to have spent all his strength, and slumped onto the ground. I could see his ribs heaving.
“What’s going on?” Forrest cried, rushing into the fray toward Abel. He saw me on the ground and his face twisted with rage. “You hurt Phoebe.”
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