His words seemed to echo in Ava’s head. They confirmed all her worst fears. They weren’t searching for the assassin, they were here for her. Konrad had obviously lost patience with the search for their uncle. He was clearly determined to eliminate at least one threat while he had the opportunity to do so.
But Ava had been trained for this situation, she thrived under pressure. If she could just buy herself a few seconds, she could come up with a strategy.
Darting forward while the bodyguard was still twisted away from her, she drove her dagger into his right arm. He screamed and dropped his sword, staggering away from her. The two mounted men moved forward but she leapt back into the wagon, dragging the doors shut behind her.
Inside the wagon, Sarah was staring at her, her eyes wide with fright and shock. Ava rushed towards her friend, tugging at the strings of her red cloak. She was relieved that she had chosen to wear the distinctive garment that morning. Ignoring Sarah’s stutters of confusion, she draped the cloak around the other girl’s shoulders.
Stepping back she decided that, at a quick glance, Sarah could be mistaken for the new brunette version of herself. Sarah seemed too astonished by Ava’s actions to respond so Ava grabbed her wrist and tugged her back towards the wagon doors.
Before Sarah could protest, Ava shoved open the doors and jumped to the ground, pulling the red cloaked figure with her. Sarah fell to her hands and knees and Ava abandoned her, crawling beneath the wagon and emerging out the left side. Glancing back she saw that Evelyn had appeared and was battling with the two soldiers. They had both dismounted and were attempting to reach Sarah.
Peering around one of the large wheels, Ava finally located Hans. He was in the middle of dispatching a third royal guard who was attempting to join the fight at the back of the wagon.
“Hans!”
He spurred his horse towards her, his eyes wild with relief. She stepped away from the wagon and he reached an arm down to meet hers, swinging her up in front of him on his horse. Once she was secure, he spurred Dusty towards the border.
“I couldn’t find you anywhere,” he said, his voice almost lost in the sounds of the battle. “Why is Sarah wearing your cloak?”
Ava didn’t attempt to answer. Instead she clung to Dusty’s mane and marvelled at how easily Hans had seen through her small subterfuge. She was only glad the soldiers were less familiar with her appearance.
Looking back she saw that Sarah’s mother was controlling the horses of their wagon and that her father had joined the fight. He was wielding a large axe with surprising skill. When she looked back again, as she and Hans neared the border, she saw that more and more of the guards from both sides were congregating at Sarah’s wagon. With so many bodies between them, she could no longer see the red cloaked figure and for the first time she wondered, uneasily, what had become of Evelyn and Sarah at the centre of the conflict.
In another moment they were through the border. With a battle raging behind them, the border guards of both countries simply waved them through. The last of the smaller caravans appeared to have made it across and the first wagons of Caravan Hargrove were beginning to slowly move forward.
Hans did not stop, however. Gripping Ava tightly around the waist, he spurred Dusty onwards. When they had passed all of the merchants, he broke into a canter. Ava clung on, desperately trying not to slip from her precarious position.
When they were out of both sight and sound of the border, Hans slowed his horse and veered off the road, pushing into the trees. Only when they were well out of sight of the road did he stop and help Ava to dismount. When her feet hit the ground her legs crumpled beneath her and she would have fallen if Hans had not caught her.
Chapter 11
Hans gently placed her on the ground and then the two of them remained there, frozen in place with his hands gripping her shoulders.
Somehow, Hans’ face managed to express terrified relief at the same time as he transmitted a gentle reassurance. The overwhelming concern he directed towards her was too much, however; it threatened to overset her fragile control. She lowered her head to stare at the ground instead.
“They were after you.” His voice was angry and it shook her, even though she knew the anger wasn’t directed at her.
“I know.”
“So it seems we were right. Konrad intends to honour your father’s memory by following his strategies, in the most brutal way possible. Starting with eliminating any siblings. I would have thought he would consider finding your uncle a higher priority.”
“Clearly my uncle is proving more elusive than we are.” Ava’s voice was small and she kept her head lowered.
“It wasn’t your fault…”
Ava cut off Hans’ reassurances with a violent shake of her head.
He tried again.
“Ava…” She stopped him with a raised hand. The single word reminded her vividly of the only other time he had said her name without her title. She was suddenly unable to bear the rush of emotions threatened by his proximity. Pushing herself shakily to her feet, she began the simple actions of setting up camp.
After a moment’s pause, he accepted her unspoken command and began to strip Dusty in preparation for a rub down. In the rush of their escape, they had abandoned Cinnamon and somehow that thought managed to pierce the fog around Ava’s heart and deliver a stinging blow. She pushed it away.
They had only the meagre provisions from Dusty’s saddlebags so setting up camp didn’t take long. Hans had prepared for the worst and had packed the most essential items with him but there was only so much one horse could carry. Ava was just glad he had thought to pack her a spare cloak.
By the time she found herself with nothing left to do, Ava was surprised to see that the sky was darkening. She wondered where the day had gone.
Working together, they prepared a simple dinner, still without speaking, and Hans fetched them water. The stream that followed the road had branched off into multiple tributaries and Hans had followed one of these into the woods.
They ate, still in silence, and Ava pretended to ignore the worried gaze that followed her every movement. Eventually the food was gone and there was nothing left for Ava to distract herself with.
For the first time, she allowed herself to wonder what had happened to her friends. No, she corrected herself, what had happened to Anna’s friends. I am clearly incapable of friendship.
“Ava,” said Hans, worry in his voice.
“No,” she cut him off sharply, raising one hand as if she could physically ward off his words. Now that she had finally let her thoughts free, she found that they wouldn’t stop. There was a certain satisfaction in thinking such unthinkable things.
“My father was a monster,” she said, going the next step and saying them out loud. “And I’m glad that he’s dead.”
She waited but there was no outraged protest from Hans. There wasn’t even a gentle denial. Looking up at him she saw a fierce agreement in his eyes. It shocked her more than her own words. If he felt that way about her father, what must he truly think of her? What kind of man could show such unswerving loyalty to someone he detested?
Feeling the catharsis of saying the words out loud, she continued. “And I am my father’s daughter through and through. I am a monster too.”
Years of denial and of wilful blindness to her own actions rushed over her and she felt the truth of her words seep in. She felt sure she would break beneath the weight of her own horror but instead Hans spoke.
“I’ve been the captain of your guard since you were thirteen years old.” His voice was fierce. “From the beginning I could see something in you. Something more than your father.”
“How can you say that?” cried Ava. “Everything I am came from him. He created me.”
“No, he tried to. And last year, in Arcadia, I thought he might have succeeded. I know you have never wanted to hear it but the failure of that marriage was the best thing that ever happened to you.” He turned away and continue
d so quietly she could hardly catch the words. “And the best thing that ever happened to me.”
For a moment she wondered what he meant but then rage consumed her. It was a relief to direct the loathing at another target, anyone other than herself.
“How can you say that?” She almost screamed at him, remembering only at the last moment to lower her voice in case someone was searching for them. “Everything began to fall apart after Arcadia. I lost everything because of that…” She struggled to think of a fitting word as anger and humiliation choked her. The emotions were familiar, inescapably intertwined with the face of the girl who had foiled her Arcadian plot. But for some reason, this time, the face looked strangely like her own.
“If she were here right now, I would kill her,” she said, wishing desperately for some outlet for the anger and hate.
“No, you wouldn’t,” said Hans quietly, “not really. And that knowledge is the only reason I’m still with you.”
Hans’ words doused the fire in Ava’s mind as effectively as if he had poured his cup of cold water over her head. She stared at him in shock but he had already turned away. Her mind was spinning in a new direction and she couldn’t get it to stop. After all, what was there to anchor to? Hans had just implied that he might leave her. That, after all, there were conditions to his blind obedience and loyalty.
She opened her mouth to say something but was suddenly unsure. What could she say? Evidently he hadn’t seen her actions during the battle. He thought better of her than she deserved, that much was clear. What if her words revealed her true nature? Would he leave? Better to be silent.
She wrapped her cloak around her and lay down with her back towards him. She focused all her energy on breathing as if she were asleep but in reality she had never felt so far from peace and rest.
Ava was woken the next morning by the sound of distant voices. Looking around she saw that Hans was already loading their few supplies onto Dusty’s back. His face was grim and his movements quick. Taking a moment to listen, Ava was unable to discern if the voices were coming from the road or from potential pursuers within the woods.
Climbing to her feet, she rushed to prepare herself for departure. By the time Hans had Dusty ready to go, Ava was also ready. Without discussion, Hans gripped Ava around the waist and threw her onto the horse’s back. Taking the reins, he led them deeper into the forest.
They travelled for hours, slowly making their way through the trees and the thick undergrowth. Occasionally, Hans would leave her and Dusty and double back to conceal their trail. Neither of them spoke.
Ava’s head hurt from straining to hear any pursuit but the trees threw sound in strange directions and she couldn’t be sure where any of the noises she heard originated. Eventually several hours passed in which they heard no sounds but those made by themselves and the forest itself.
When they hit a small clearing, Hans reached up to help Ava down. Rejecting his assistance, she slid down on her own, relieved to be on her feet again. Riding Dusty, outfitted as he was with a regular rather than a side saddle, was extremely uncomfortable and her back ached.
When they set up camp and prepared another cold meal, she realised that an entire day had passed without either of them speaking a single word. The situation could not continue indefinitely. She’d had her first glimpse, riding in the wagon the day before, of how much she relied on Hans’ silent strength. Now, after a day of tormenting herself, she knew she couldn’t live with the strain of wondering if the next word she spoke might be the word that drove him away.
Better, she thought, to rip the bandage off cleanly.
“Hans,” she said and he looked up, startled, at the sound of her voice. “Why did you come with me?”
“What do you mean,” he asked.
“For five years you have been head of my guard. In all that time you have been unswervingly loyal. I always assumed it was loyalty to Rangmere, to my family. But now I’m asking you. Why are you loyal to me?”
It was a heavy question and she had expected him to take some time thinking on his answer. She hadn’t expected a flush to creep over his face.
“The truth, Princess, is that I have no loyalty to your family,” he said. “My loyalty is to you alone.”
“But why?” asked Ava, desperately hoping to hear something that would put her mind at ease. “Why are you loyal to me?”
“My family,” said Hans, unexpectedly. “My family is the reason I became your guard in the first place. In particular, it was my sister.”
Ava stared at him, unable to understand what his sister could have to do with her.
“I don’t know if you remember her but her name is Hanna,” he continued and Ava gasped.
Hans was Hanna’s brother? It was unthinkable and yet… not so very strange really. Many families lived within the confines of the palace walls and sent all of their children into service with the royal family. Was it so surprising that a kitchen maid and a guard would be siblings?
Still, Hanna had been her closest friend and had never mentioned a brother called Hans. If it was true, though… Did that mean Hans knew about what Ava had done the day Hanna had been forced to flee Rangmere?
“Your father unjustly punished my sister and he lost my loyalty that day,” said Hans. “And you gained it when you rescued her. Thanks to you she is living safe and well in Northhelm.”
Ava felt a sort of horror rushing over her, turning her numb. His loyalty was based on gratitude for her rescuing his sister? If that was the case, his loyalty was based on a lie. Hanna was the first in a long line of people that Ava had wronged.
Once, Hanna had been Ava’s best friend. And Hanna had been a rising star in the kitchens of the palace, about to start a prestigious apprenticeship that was almost never awarded to a girl. And then Ava had convinced Hanna to join her in a harmless prank that had gone wrong. It had all been Ava’s fault but when her father discovered them, it was Hanna who took the blame. It was the sort of selfless thing she never hesitated to do.
The worst thing was that Ava’s father had known it too. But he had chosen a harsh punishment anyway. Ava had understood his message. It was a familiar one. Princesses didn’t have the luxury of friends or feelings.
Hanna’s future in Rangmere had been ruined and Ava had finally realised that there was no point resisting her father. The only way forward was to shut off all emotions and become the cold and clever daughter he so desired.
Hanna had been an innocent casualty of that lesson. Certainly Ava had mitigated the punishment as much as she could. But Hanna had still been forced to give up her entire life and flee for something that had been Ava’s fault. And Ava had sent Hanna away for her own sake as much as anything; friends were a weakness she could no longer afford.
Hans didn’t know the whole story and Ava could imagine she had Hanna to thank for that. It was painful to know her friend had remained so loyal.
“I didn’t know,” said Ava at last, a little stupidly.
“No,” said Hans, “there was no reason you would have. Hanna always called me Alfie.” He smiled reminiscently. “My middle name is Alfred and she thought it was so funny. I used to hate her calling me that, so of course it stuck.”
Now that he mentioned it, Ava could remember Hanna talking proudly of her brother Alfie and how well he was doing in his training as a guard. She had never given Hanna’s brother much thought and after Hanna had been sent away, Ava avoided the kitchens.
She also remembered Hans’ words on the night they escaped about having friends in the kitchens. She wondered how many of the staff had known Hanna and resented Ava for causing her to be sent away. Had Hans defended her to them?
“I’m glad that she’s well,” said Ava eventually. “Haven’t you ever considered joining her in Northhelm, though?” She waited with bated breath for his response.
Now Hans did hesitate and his flush deepened. He shook his head and looked away from her.
Ava’s brow crinkled in bewilderment.
Hans never showed confusion.
“What is it, Hans?” she asked, stepping towards him. “Tell me.” Without even realising she was doing it, she reached out and placed her hand on his arm.
He drew in a sharp breath and stared at her hand for a moment. After another long pause, he looked up and met her eyes.
“When Hanna first asked me to protect you, to watch over you, I resented it,” he said. “And I didn’t really know how I could do it. But then I was given the opportunity to become the captain of your guard. I had nothing left in Rangmere but my job so I dedicated myself to it night and day.”
He paused again and then the words burst out of him, flowing faster and faster.
“We’re not stupid, us guards, though we’re taught to act like statues. We still have eyes and ears. I could see what your father was doing to you. How hard he pushed you and how hard you tried. I could see the hurt you were hiding, even from yourself. And I admired you. You were just a child, no older than my sister, but you were strong. And every day you became stronger. I could see you had the kind of strength Rangmere needs, even if your father did his best to twist it. I used to wish you had been born a boy so that one day you could stand up to your brother and challenge him for the monarchy.
“And then, last summer, your father sent you to conquer Arcadia using your wits and your beauty. I felt sickened at what you were doing in his name and I was afraid that you truly had become the person he wanted you to be. I hated every moment we spent there.” His voice was deep and impassioned.
“But it was only when I saw you dancing the other night that I finally realised the truth. Realised why I had felt so sick at the sight of you with the handsome Arcadian prince.” He paused and shook his head. “I was almost glad when the Royal Guard arrived and I had an excuse to grab you away from those merchant guards. It was the first time I knew my own heart and I hated the sight of you dancing with them. I felt like I was losing you.”
He gave a short and bitter laugh. “It’s ridiculous, of course, because you were never mine to begin with. So how could I lose you?”
The Princess Fugitive: A Reimagining of Little Red Riding Hood (The Four Kingdoms Book 2) Page 9