by Stacey Lynn
I fucking hate the friends with benefit zone, and I hate that the first time I even want to try a relationship with a woman it’s this one, who has so many walls built up around her that she’s impossible to actually get to know. I didn’t want to feel this way about Mia. She is the perfect woman for a guy like me. She likes sex, she likes fun, and she expects nothing else.
Which is awesome and all I’ve ever wanted. At least it was until this woman got under my skin. Now I can’t stop thinking of her when I’m in New York and I have to fight to not drill Nicole for answers about her when I’m in L.A.
I love that she says what’s on her mind and doesn’t care if it ticks someone off, that she loves her career, that she’s the first person to stick up and stand by Nicole when anything happens. But there’s this other part of Mia, beyond the laughing and smart-ass comments and great sex, that is closed up in a box, taped and packaged tighter than a bomb.
Growing up in the foster care system, I never had a real family. It wasn’t until I met Zack and Jake when we were teenagers that music even hit my radar. And as far as family, or a woman, I never wanted it.
Until Mia came practically skipping into that sound check over two years ago with Nicole, flirted with everyone in the band, and eventually spent a weekend on the tour bus. That weekend sucked for Zack when Nicole took off, but when Mia wasn’t reassuring Zack that everything would work out, we had an absolute blast and it was the first time I thought … maybe I can do this relationship shit everyone says is so great.
Slowly, I take my hand from Mia’s hip and run it across my forehead, frustrated. Not just because Mia frustrates me, but because she’s next to me and I walked right into this situation and she feels so damn good. She fits perfectly lined up against me, her tall slender frame feeling almost delicate wrapped up in me.
Everyone always said the love of a good woman can change a man and I always knew they were full of shit. Except I might actually love this one, but I know if I tell her, she’ll run as fast as her gorgeous legs can carry her and never speak to me again.
Fuck me. Love sucks.
I need a cigarette, or to punch something. But since neither are available, I take a deep breath and just hold her closer.
She might wake up and be so pissed at what I have planned for her that she’ll never speak to me again. It’s a gamble, a big one. But it’ll be worth it if I can just get her to see that we’re perfect for each other. I close my eyes, inhaling Mia’s sweet scent before I feel myself drift off into my own restless dreams.
When I wake up a little bit later, Mia is still fitted perfectly against my side and I realize that neither of us moved while we were sleeping.
I can never imagine another woman making me feel the same way that she makes me feel. The day I asked her to make our relationship more permanent, I saw the look on her face and knew I had lost her. It hasn’t stopped me from trying to get through to her, but damn if this woman isn’t the most stubborn thing I’ve ever met. I tried to move on. I went out on a few dates, hooked up with a few women, but no one ever made me feel like she does – in bed or out of it.
Is it like that for her? Does Mia date other guys when I’m not around? I choke on that thought and close my eyes, resting my head against my pillow. Do other men touch her? Do they know that she’s ticklish in only one spot, right above her left hip bone? I groan at the thought of another man touching her, his hands rubbing up along her soft skin, pleasing her and hearing the little moans she makes. Drives me crazy. And then a thought I like even less seeps into my brain before I can stop it. Is this why she hasn’t returned my calls in months? Is she dating someone?
I shake my insecure and dumb as shit thoughts out of my head. If Mia were dating someone Nicole would have said something. And if she is, then she’ll stop me soon because if I might only have one night with Mia I’m sure as shit not wasting it.
I almost don’t want to wake her up knowing how long her day has been. She probably needs the sleep, but I’ve never claimed to be selfless.
I pull her to my chest and everything south of my waist immediately wakes up. I groan slightly and press a gentle kiss right behind her ear and she shifts her hips back into me. She’s not awake yet, and I almost feel like a prick. But God she smells so good. It’s not her perfume, or any of that smelly lotion shit some girls slather themselves with. It’s just her. And her scent instantly makes me hard.
My hands come alive with a mind of their own and I slowly move one hand along her side. I pause slightly when I reach the swell of her breast, resisting the urge to play with it some more. Instead, one finger light rubs along the underside and then my hand moves further down, caressing her stomach lightly. She shivers and her breath hitches a little bit. I still my hand for just a second to see if she’s going to push me away, but instead she shifts slightly closer to me. One side of my lip quirks up and I lick my lips, wetting them before I place another soft kiss on her neck.
Her body tenses for a split second and I realize she’s awake. Not only is she awake, she’s also not pushing me away. My hand moves to her waist and then slowly down to her hip. I squeeze it gently before following the line of her hip down to her thighs. God she feels so good under my rough skin. Smooth as silk and soft. Mia is just so soft. She’s the complete opposite of my callused hands, but damn it if she isn’t the most amazing woman I’ve ever touched.
She moves again, slightly, but I don’t stop this time.
I smile into her neck when I feel her pulse quicken a little bit.
“Chase?” Her quiet voice sounds a little bit dry and really tired.
I slowly flick my tongue out and lick her neck and trail soft kisses down to her collarbone. My hand on her hip squeezes slightly, pulling her back into me so she can feel how much I want her.
Damn it, I just want her. All of her.
“What is it, babe?” I whisper into her throat when she relaxes into me instead of pulling away. “What do you need?”
I shift slightly so I can look into her sleepy blue eyes. Her hair is a little messed up and her eyes are barely open, but I can still see that she wants me. Please, I plead with my eyes, don’t tell me you need a glass of water. Don’t tell me you want me to get the hell out of here.
But she doesn’t say any of those things. She just smiles and quietly, so quietly I almost ask her to repeat herself, she simply says, “You.”
It’s all I need to hear. If she wants me, I’ll give her all of me. Every last piece of my body, my heart, and my soul. Anything she wants of mine is hers, I just don’t want her to fucking stomp all over it and give back pieces of me, leftover and broken, when she’s through with me.
With a devilish grin, I adjust her so she’s lying below me. “I’m all yours, babe.”
Hopefully.
Chase has his back to me while he sits on the edge of the bed, pulling on his pants. His shirt is still off and my fingers twitch, wanting to feel every single perfectly defined muscle on his back. I smirk when I notice a few small pink scratch marks on the back of his right shoulder. Screw it. I reach over lightly and trace the marks I left on him. He freezes and I laugh softly.
“Sorry. I scratched your back.”
He doesn’t move a muscle until he turns his head to the right so I can see his cocky smile. “It was worth it.”
“We all right?” I ask him and watch the grin slip before he turns away from me. I hate this. I hate that we used to be so easy around each other and now there’s a tension. A divide between us of things left unsaid, but we’re both too chicken shit to either feel them or do anything about them. Or at least I am.
Chase stands from the bed and throws on a shirt before turning back to face me. I’m still lying in bed, naked, and too tired to bother getting dressed yet.
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “We’re good, Mia.”
The clipped tone of his voice annoys me.
“Why did you do this?” I gesture toward the bed. Not that I mind, Chase is inc
redible. But I know it comes with expectations that I can’t deliver on. Not now, especially. The reminder of my doctor’s visit settles like a weight in my gut and I blink my eyes several times to keep the fear out of them.
Chase smirks and I want to hit him. He plasters on some cocky ass rock star persona expression. It’s something he uses for groupies and fans, but never for me. I hate it. “Just thought you could use a stress relief. Was it good enough, or do you need more?”
“Fuck off, Chase.”
Throwing off the covers, I stomp to my suitcase but inwardly smile as Chase’s eyes follow my every step. Stress reliever my ass. Once I’m dressed in a pair of yoga pants and tank top, I start packing up the clothes I wore earlier.
“I want you for one week.”
My hands freeze on the zipper of my suitcase and my eyebrows turn in.
“What?” I stand up to look at him. Chase is standing in the same spot with his jeans unzipped and his hands on his hips.
“What do you mean?”
He takes a couple steps toward me and I stand up straighter. When he reaches me, he moves his finger between my chest and his. His eyes don’t deviate from mine. “I want you. All of you for this next week while we’re in California.”
One side of my nose wrinkles up and his hand goes back to his hip. “For sex?”
He shakes his head back and forth slowly, his lips purse together and my stomach flips. I don’t know what he’s thinking and it scares the hell out of me.
“All of you.”
“That’s silly,” I say and turn back to zipping up my suitcase. All I notice is that my hands are shaking a little bit and I can feel my adrenaline kick in. Chase wants all of me? He can’t have it. I don’t have anything more to give. “We can have sex, just like we always do, but you and I both know there’s never been more to us than that.”
Biggest lie I’ve ever told. I know it instantly, and I think Chase knows it, too.
“Bullshit,” he says. His large hand swats mine away from the zipper on my suitcase. I watch him zip up my bag and stand it up on its wheels. “I think there can be something more. And so do you. I want one week to prove it.”
I’m still staring at the suitcase. Why does it piss me off that he noticed I was struggling and came over to take care of it? Isn’t that what all girls, all women, want? Some big strong man to come in and protect them and take care of them? Isn’t that how my dad used to be?
But he’s not anymore. And someday Chase won’t be there for me either. Or I won’t be there for him.
“Why are you doing this?”
One of his hands reaches out, cupping my neck. My body warms instantly and my breath hitches. Chase grins. He knows that he affects me physically. I can’t even bother denying it.
“Because,” he says softly and leans down so his breath whispers across my cheek and jaw. “There’s something else here, something that has been going on between us – more than just sex – for a long time now, you’re just too scared to admit it. I just want one week. One week to take care of you, to know you, to prove to you it’s okay to let down your guard every once in a while.”
I swallow slowly, my entire body vibrating like a tuning fork as Chase smiles lightly and stands much too close for me to think straight. His hand is warm and tender on my neck as he moves his thumb and stokes my jaw slowly. Teasing me. I don’t want this. There’s too much at risk. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten on this plane.
But will one week hurt either of us that much? Seven days and then I can go back to ignoring him. He’ll be on tour again soon and then I won’t have to see him. We can have this week and then move on and go back to our lives, just like normal.
I open my mouth to say something, to tell him how it won’t work because you don’t fall in love with someone in seven days. It can be a week of fun sex, and I’m okay with that, but there’s no way I’m opening up my heart to him. And truthfully, I don’t want the responsibility of having his.
“I’ll try.” I breathe the syllables out like a sigh, and before I can wonder what I said or why I agreed to something I know will never work, Chase’s gray eyes sparkle and his lips descend on me.
It’s a soft kiss as his lips brush against mine. He makes no move to increase the pressure, or pull me closer to him as our lips rest against one another, barely moving, but I can feel the coiled tension underneath it. I can feel it in the way his hand flexes on my neck, like he’s holding himself back. I press against his mouth a little bit more firmly, asking him silently to do something to relieve the pressure that’s building between us. Instead, Chase pulls away, his lips just mere centimeters from mine. I can smell him and feel him everywhere even though he’s not touching me anywhere besides my neck.
He overwhelms me in the best way possible.
“This won’t be just sex, Mia. As much as I love your body, I want more and I’m tired of waiting for it. I want you to trust me enough to lean on me when you’re having a shitty time this week when you start thinking about your job or what you’re going to do about your apartment. I want more than your friendship. You ready to give that to me?”
I shake my head because I’m not. The idea terrifies me. Chase simply smiles like he understands and takes my hand. Maybe he’s as scared about this as I am?
“The plane will be landing soon. Let’s go get a drink.”
I follow him out to the living area just as the seatbelt light comes on. Chase pulls me down to the couch next to him and buckles me in. When I give him a funny look, wondering why he just buckled me in like a four year old, he simply shrugs and wraps his arm around the back of the couch and me. He pulls me into him so my head is resting on his shoulder.
It feels comforting and safe, and since I just promised I’d try to give him everything, I let him hold me, my mind still trying to figure out what I actually agreed to.
My jaw drops as soon as the plane lands and Chase and I exit. We’re standing at the top of the stairway and I stare at him, confused. He doesn’t meet my eyes but holds my hand tighter, pulling me down the stairs, not even giving me time to blink.
My feet catch up slowly, stumbling down the stairs after him, and I’m finally able to shut my mouth when we hit the tarmac. A black, two-seater convertible is waiting for us, its red rear lights shining bright with the setting sun in front of me.
“Where are we?” I ask, my head quickly turning back and forth over the rolling countryside landscape.
Wherever the heck we are, it isn’t L.A. There isn’t a single skyscraper in sight. All I see are fields.
Chase clears his throat. “Before you get pissed, let me explain.”
I spin around and face him, my hands on my hips. My skin feels like it’s just been put through the wash and came out two sizes too small, but I don’t know if I’m simply dismayed or angry at the fact he clearly tricked me into coming to who-in-the-hell-knows-where with him.
“Where are we?” I snap at him again, my voice tighter and slightly higher-pitched. He doesn’t flinch. He also doesn’t answer my question as he takes a couple steps forward.
I quickly step out of his way, shaking my head.
“I wanted to see you, but with the way you’ve been avoiding me, I didn’t think we’d do much talking in L.A.”
Anger and annoyance seep into my bones. “So you thought kidnapping me to …” My voice trails off and I turn around, spinning my arms in the air, “here; would help you with that? What the hell, Chase! I have to help Nicole with her wedding this weekend!”
He smirks. He smirks at me, the ass! I can’t believe it. “I didn’t kidnap you. Nicole knows exactly where you are right now.”
My eyes widen so far I think my eyeballs may pop out of my head and bounce across the asphalt. Her strange text suddenly becomes clear. I turn around toward the plane, intent on demanding the pilots to either fly me to L.A. or back to New York, whichever is quicker, but the flight attendant is walking into the hangar and the stairs have been rolled away from the plane.
Enraged even further, I swing back around to Chase. He’s standing with his arms crossed, looking unaffected by my outburst. I run my hand through my hair, trying to calm down, but I can’t.
I open my mouth to speak again, but he cuts me off. “To answer your question, we’re in Napa Valley. I have reservations for us nearby for the weekend. Nicole is expecting you on Monday afternoon.”
He has the nerve to look pleased with himself.
“Way to go, Chase. You’ve just managed to be a complete prick. Did you honestly think that I would be okay with all this? You trick me into getting on a plane with you, you give me this whole song and dance bullshit about wanting me, all of me – whatever the hell that means – and the entire time you’re lying to me? And now you expect me to be okay with this?”
He stalks toward me, annoyed, and my eyes widen further. He’s annoyed with me? What the hell?
“First of all,” he says, pointing up one finger, “I didn’t lie. I may have … neglected to tell you important information.”
I scoff at his words. “Semantics.” I wave a hand in the air, frustrated. I want to stomp my feet, but I assemble what self-control I have left and refrain from having a tantrum. “You manipulated and tricked me and you know it.”
And Nicole is behind it, too. A dozen very colorful ways to get even with her for this flash before my eyes.
Chase keeps walking closer during my outburst and has a second finger raised. “Second of all, you know that if you would have shown up in L.A. you would have continued to ignore me, and I intend to find out why you would just end all contact with me. And finally,” he says, adding a third finger. I want to reach out and bite his damn fingers off I’m so pissed. Not just at what he’s done, but what he’s saying to me. Like hell I’m telling him anything now. “I meant every single thing I said on that plane. I want more than your body and I’m tired of waiting around for you to see that we’re perfect for one another. So yeah, this may be an asshole move, but you and I both know that you wouldn’t have given me a shot if I would have tried any other way.”