by Gina LaManna
My humor missed the mark, but my arms around his waist were right where they needed to be. Ranger X gripped me tight, his hands grasping my arms as he placed a gentle kiss on my head. When he spoke, he pulled back enough to make eye contact. “Lily, I care so much about you. I think—”
I raised a finger to his lips and pressed it against them. “Not now. Whatever you’re going to say, just wait. Think about it before you speak. You’re stressed, and emotional, and…” I sighed. “You’re a Ranger. You know the rules. You’re not allowed to get married, or...or have anything resembling a real relationship.”
He began to speak, but I shook my head and he fell silent.
“I’d never come between you and your career. I know how much it means to you. Whatever you say now is influenced by the situation. Your emotions are running high, and you’re not thinking with your head.”
“I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me.” He didn’t flinch as he said the next line. “I’d give it all up for you in a second, and that became crystal clear when you were lying in my arms next to dead. In that moment, I didn’t remember a thing about being a Ranger. My training was all but useless, and my instincts were dull. The only thing I could do was hold you and hope. I was useless. I didn’t choose to fall for you, Lily, but it happened somewhere along the way and I’m afraid it’s too late to go back.”
I couldn’t speak. My hands reached for him of their own accord, my fingers running up and down his arms as my mind fought to find the words to say. “I care about you a lot too. More than you know,” I said finally. “But I can’t interfere with your job.”
“You already have. It’s dangerous for me to think I can protect you. When Zin brought you back, I should have leapt into business mode, but I didn’t. I was helpless. I froze. I have never frozen before, and I’ve seen friends and family die. I’ve fought the worst and trained with the best, but at the end of the day...I was crippled by what I feel for you.”
I sucked in a few breaths and forced a smile. It was a lot right now. Too much to process at once. “Well, look at it this way: Just because rules are in place, it doesn’t mean things can’t change. Look at Zin for example. I bet nobody expected to see a female Ranger ten years ago. Why is it so hard to think that a Ranger could balance a career and a serious relationship?”
“Rules are in place for a reason,” he said firmly. “To keep people safe.”
“Sometimes rules need to be re-evaluated. Once upon a time, women couldn’t vote on the mainland. At the time, that rule was there for a reason. Did it need to be re-evaluated?”
He looked down.
“Well?”
“That’s different.”
“Every rule is different. No circumstance or situation is the same, and that’s exactly my point.”
“This is a matter of life and death. What if I was the one to find you lying there on The Forest floor?” He turned a pained expression on me. “Do you think I’d be able to stop and think? You weren’t breathing. If he’d killed you, there is no way I could’ve stopped myself from…” He took a shaky breath. “I wouldn’t have thought logically. I would’ve reacted on basic instincts, and my basic instincts would’ve ended in Thomas dead. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. That is dangerous.”
“He was going to kill me,” I said quietly. Until now, I’d been hiding my neck. The angry marks made me feel self-conscious and weak, even though it wasn’t my fault. However now, I tilted my neck upwards and exposed the lines to Ranger X. “Maybe your instincts should be trusted.”
“I am the leader of the Ranger program. I have to live by a code.”
“Would any of your Rangers have objected if you’d killed Thomas?”
Ranger X bit the inside of his lip and stared forlornly out into the distance. His code of honor was strong, and I could see his wants and needs and desires all fighting for a place in his heart. The battle stalled, his eyes empty.
“On the mainland we have people who protect the other humans. Firefighters, cops, hundreds of thousands of people risk their lives every day running into burning buildings or standing up to criminals with guns,” I said softly. “They’re allowed to love. They’re allowed to be married, experience life, and be happy. Nobody on this island wants you to sacrifice everything for them. The islanders love you. They won’t begrudge your happiness.”
“Maybe they don’t know what they need.”
“Maybe not,” I said, my voice cracking as I realized the futility of arguing with him. My heart sank and my shoulders dropped, suddenly lifeless. Even my head felt too heavy to hold high. “Do you know what I think?”
Ranger X had been running his hand along his chin in thought, but he paused at my tone. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re scared.” My eyes smarted with tears. “I don’t know why, but you seem to think you can’t have it all, that you can’t care for me and care about your work. We’ve only known each other a few weeks. There’s no reason we can’t take things slow and see how they go, but if we do, then we have to talk about it. You and I have to work together and try and fight to figure things out.”
“But—”
“I care about you, but I can’t be your everything,” I barreled on. “What will you do if you give up your work? You love being a Ranger. I’ve seen you working a handful of times and it’s written on your face. We can’t be two halves of people coming together—that’ll only lead to a broken relationship. We need to be two whole people before we can work on us being one together, and I don’t think you want to do that.”
“Of course I’m scared,” he said, his voice as soft as a knife slicing through air. “But we have rules for a reason. If someone gets hurt on my watch, or if my decisions are not solid, or if something happens to you, then what?”
“I want to be with you.” I stepped forward, a salty tear coursing down my cheek. “I would love to make a relationship work, or at least try. But what are you going to do, work at the supply store? Ask Harpin for a job stocking tea?”
“What do you want me to say?” He ran a hand across his forehead. “It’s an either or situation.”
“I want you to be with me, but I want you to be happy, too,” I said. “Tell me honestly. If you gave up your Ranger career to be with me, would you be happy?”
His extended pause was all I needed to hear.
“That’s what I thought,” I said softly. “This situation isn’t hopeless, X. Times change. Rules evolve. There is a way for you to keep your career and have a relationship with me if you want it badly enough. I can’t force it on you, though. I can argue and fight for it all I want, but at the end of the day, you have to decide what makes you happy.”
“Lily…” He drew me to him, his fingers cinching the skin on my hips until it bordered on painful.
I pressed my face to his chest and gripped his shirt as his hold on me loosened. He murmured an apology, encircling his hands around my back, his lips reaching for mine.
He held me tight, the two of us wrapped in an embrace as the cold water danced over our ankles. My skin prickled with goose bumps, but my face warmed under his kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth as his hand raked over my bare back—gentle, but possessive. The summer dress I wore flowed down to my feet. It was strapless, for which I was grateful as his hands ran over my shoulders and sent shivers down my spine.
I whispered his name carefully, but the word was swept away by an even deeper sound from his throat.
When he said my name back, I jolted back to attention and stepped away from him.
“No,” I said, my entire body trembling. “I don’t even know your real name. Anything else isn’t fair for either of us. Figure out what you want, and then come and talk to me.”
The rest of the tears began to fall then, so I turned away and ducked my bruised neck. I was vulnerable enough without showing my scars to the world. With my head down, sandals in hand, I shuffled across the sand and away from Ranger X. He called after me
once, and I ignored it. The second time he said my name, I started to jog. The third time, I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.
His voice carried over the sand and his eyes watched me go, but his feet didn’t follow.
Chapter 29
Three weeks later
“I told you to start getting ready earlier, Mom,” Poppy said. “We’re going to be late.”
“Oh, dear, relax,” Mimsey said, her tone as scattered as her curly locks. She ran her hands over an armchair-patterned dress that looked like it should be covering a bean bag instead of a human, but Mimsey somehow rocked the look anyway. Sweeping another hand through her locks, she muttered something about her glasses.
“Here, Mom,” Poppy said, leaning over and handing her mom the thick-rimmed glasses hanging from a necklace made from bright pieces of sea glass. “They’re always around your neck.”
“It’s been so long since I’ve had an excuse to dress up. It’s not my fault I can’t remember how this works.” Mimsey gave a faux-glare at her daughter. “It’s not like any of you children are getting married. If I had a wedding to go to, maybe things would be different.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it. Come on, Zin is waiting. Trinket is going to tear you a new one if we show up late to the ceremony.”
“Trinket can tear herself a brand spankin’ new—”
“Mom!” Poppy roared. “Put your glasses on, and let’s go!”
I hid a smirk and followed the bickering mother-daughter duo. Despite their banter back and forth, they walked side by side. Poppy carefully intertwined her arm through her mother’s, the two of them balancing off one another as they navigated the rocky beach path in their high heels.
I, too, was dressed up, but I’d opted for wedge sandals which gave me the height without the trouble of a stiletto. Mimsey and Poppy didn’t factor practicality into their outfits. What they did factor in, however, was color. Walking together, the pair looked like a fruit basket tie-dyed in Kool-Aid.
Mimsey’s dress was sky blue and bright yellow, while Poppy flaunted a long, flowy muumuu in bright red decorated with green and yellow flowers. She looked stunning, the dress brushing softly over her curves, complimenting her dazzling personality and bright smile. Her cheeks were flushed from walking, and her eyes were bright with excitement.
I’d gone with a much more toned-down look. My dark hair was pulled in a chignon at the nape of my neck, mostly so I wouldn’t have to battle flyaways from the lake breeze. My closet had populated with a variety of dress options after I’d learned the appropriate spell, and I’d selected a navy-blue dress that wrapped tight around my body with simple, tank-top sleeves. It ended just above my knees, and I’d added a white shawl. Poppy told me I looked like a sexy sailor. Mimsey told me I looked like a politician. I’d settle for looking presentable.
“Turn here,” Mimsey said, guiding us past the supply store to the edge of The Forest. “I hear them setting up. We’re just in time for the opening anthem.”
The three of us shuffled into an arena that I’d never before seen. In fact, the inside was so large, I wondered if it hadn’t been enhanced by magic. There was no other explanation for how I’d missed the basketball court-sized space plopped in the middle of The Isle. Seats rose high on either side, putting the nosebleed section at American football games to shame. Luckily, as we were Guests of Honor, we didn’t have to go far. Trinket waved us over, her face pinched in annoyance.
“Told you she wouldn’t be happy,” Poppy muttered. “Do you think she saved us a seat?”
“My sister’s never happy,” Mimsey said. “There are three spots next to her, I see them.”
We shuffled into the saved seats just in front of Trinket and six of her seven children. The seventh child, Zin, was nowhere to be seen. However, when I snatched a program off the empty chair a row ahead, I found her face staring back at me.
Zin, along with nine others, had been selected to join the Ranger Initiation Program. Today, she’d be given the gear and the blessing of the islanders as she started the rigorous training program. Though it was a cause for celebration and much honor, she had a long way to go before she became an official Ranger. According to Poppy, less than fifty percent of the starting class finished the program. From there, only one or two Candidates were hired to work for Ranger HQ.
Even so, this was a big step forward—not only for Zin, but for the entire Ranger culture. Whispers circled the arena as everyone watched and waited to glimpse the first ever female Candidate.
I couldn’t have been more proud.
“There she is!” Mimsey clapped her hands wildly, and then stood up and whistled so loud the entire stadium quieted. “Sorry, sorry,” she murmured as Poppy tugged on her arm. “Sorry, it’s just so exciting—that’s my niece down there!”
Despite Poppy’s efforts to calm her mother down, none of us could wipe smiles off our faces.
However, mine dimmed as Ranger X walked onstage, looking handsome as ever in a tailored suit. The confidence and grace surrounding him was second to none, and this time, the audience quieted on its own.
“Islanders,” he called out. “Welcome.”
A few last-minute arrivals squeezed their way into seats. After everyone settled down and all eyes focused on the stage, Ranger X looked up at the crowd and scanned the audience collectively.
I wondered whether or not he knew I was in the stadium. He’d probably assumed I’d be watching—a safe assumption since everyone on The Isle was here. Plus, Zin was my cousin. There was no way I’d miss the event. Oddly enough, however, his eyes skipped over our section and skimmed the rest of the faces as he made a full sweep of the arena.
“This is a year of changes,” he said, before spiraling off into a long introduction that detailed the long, strenuous process the Candidates would have to endure before becoming a Ranger. “The chances that more than two of these Candidates standing before you today make it to the final challenge—securing a position at Ranger HQ—are slim. But we applaud their effort. It’s not easy to become a Candidate, and the going will only become more difficult. When you see one of these faces on the streets this week, thank them. They are here to protect all of you.”
Another speech followed, detailing the rise of The Faction and the dangers that hid in our midst. Word of the attack against me had spread, and paranoia had seeped into the minds of some of the islanders. Children were called to bed early, and parents looked over their shoulders and locked their doors. Luckily there’d been no further incidents, but it was only a matter of time now. Chatter about the unity and strength of The Faction was loud and clear, and even the most skeptical of islanders were forced to pay attention.
I’d zoned out toward the end of the speech, not recognizing many of the names as Ranger X began to announce the Candidates one by one. When there was only one name left, Poppy elbowed me. “Look, she’s up!”
“I started this speech by saying this was a year of changes. Now and again, we must revisit the rules we have in place and ask ourselves why they are there.” He looked up, his gaze eerily falling on mine for a long moment before he blinked and scanned the rest of the crowd. “Our policy against female Rangers is one of them. It ceases to exist as of today. The strongest, the smartest, and the most deserving individuals will join our program. With that said, I am pleased to announce our first ever female Candidate. She has landed here through hard work, perseverance, and bravery. Above all, her selflessness has saved a life. I am honored to present Zinnia Dixie as a Candidate for the Ranger program.”
The applause was thunderous. Tears streamed down Mimsey’s cheeks, and even Trinket dabbed her eyes with a beautifully embroidered hanky. Zin’s siblings went as wild as orangutans on cotton candy, and the rest of the audience was no different. Ranger X had to signal upwards of four times before the islanders quieted down. “These next weeks will be difficult ones for the Candidates, but I believe that I speak for all of us when I say we’re looking forward to it. Without
further ado… let the training begin.”
Chapter 30
“I had no idea becoming a Candidate was such an honor,” I murmured to Poppy as we descended the stairs from the arena amid a sea of excited bodies. “I mean, I knew it was difficult and honorable, but this is like a reality TV show. The Candidates are celebrities.”
“It’s the highest honor,” she said, looking over her shoulder in search of Zin. “I’m so proud of her.”
“Me too,” I said. “Will we get to watch the training?”
“You’ll be able to watch some of them via live broadcast, though there are a few private sessions.” She winked. “It’s an exciting time.”
“By the way, I forgot to give you this. I finished it up this morning.” From my oversized purse, I pulled out a sealed bottle of her Vamp Vites. “I tried it myself, and it seems to be working fine.”
“Oh, thank you,” she gushed. “I ran out of the temporary supply earlier today. I was going to check with you, but with everything going on, I forgot. You are a lifesaver.”
Before I could wave off her thank-you, a shadow appeared by my shoulder. “May I have a word?”
I looked up to find Ranger X’s large frame standing over me, his outfit impeccable despite the warmth of the sun this afternoon. I glanced to Poppy, who nodded back with wide eyes. “Okay,” I said. “But I need to find Zin.”
“I’ll be quick,” he said in a clipped tone. “I promise.”
“Take your time!” Poppy yelled after us as we walked away. “Zin will understand—I promise.”
I hid a small smile as we walked away, our shoulders not quite touching. We hadn’t spoken much in the past weeks.
Once we were a safe distance away, he peered through dark lashes at me, his gaze a complicated one. “Zin’s really something. You should be proud of your cousin.”
“I am.” I nodded. “I’m really happy for her.”
As we walked away from the arena toward the bungalow, we passed the same spot he’d kissed me on the night we’d discussed the complicated thing between us.