by Kim Carmody
“Careful, I might take you up on that.”
He walked over to the basin, opening the cupboards underneath. “I think my sister put some bath salts or some shit in here.” He pulled a few delightful looking items out. “Feel free to use whatever you want.”
Standing, he looked at me again, his big frame filling the room. “Well, I’ll um, I’ll leave you to it.” He walked toward me and suddenly it felt like there wasn’t nearly enough room for the two of us in the small space. I shifted my body to the side as he walked past, pausing at the door.
“Just ah, be careful okay? Don’t slip or anything.” And there he went, treating me like I was fine bone china again. Seriously, how bad had the accident looked?
#
I spent the better part of the next hour soaking in the most decadent bath I’d ever had. Will’s sister clearly knew her bath products, and by the time I got out, my skin felt as soft as the day I was born. I pulled on a tank top and a pair of yoga pants, feeling my stomach rumble at the delicious smells coming from the other side of the door.
Will was standing at the stove with his back to me. He’d changed into a t-shirt and a pair of track pants that hung low on his hips and I watched in awe at the way the muscles in his back moved and bunched as he cooked.
He cooked.
For me.
“There you are. I was starting to think you’d fallen asleep.”
I smiled, walking over to the kitchen. “Nearly, but it smelled too good out here.”
“I didn’t know what you felt like, so I just made some pasta. That okay?”
“More than. It looks delicious. Can I help?”
“No, you can sit.” Will pointed to the stools behind the countertop. “The whole point of you being here is to rest.”
He turned back to the stove and I took the opportunity to take in his place a little more. I’d never really put much thought into what Will’s personal space would be like, I guess because I never really expected to see it. But now that I was here, it was like being exposed to a whole new side of him.
“What’s that?”
Will turned to see me pointing to a giant cushion in the corner.
“Oh, that’s the dog’s bed.”
“You have a dog?”
“Yep.”
“You never told me that. Where is he?”
“He’s at my parents. I haven’t been home much lately. Why? You like dogs?”
“Are you kidding? I LOVE dogs. What sort is he?”
Will came over to the countertop, showing me the screen saver on his phone. “He’s a Dalmatian, and his name is Jeff.”
“You named your dog Jeff?”
Will straightened, defensive. “What? The day I got him I had re-runs of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on and he kept barking at Jazzy Jeff. So I named him Jeff.”
“You named your dog Jeff Jensen?”
Will rolled his eyes. “He’s a dog, not a kid. He only has one name.”
“How can you say that? If he’s part of the family, then he shares your last name. Face it, Will, you have a dog named Jeff Jensen. I should report you to animal control.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. And don’t say anything when you meet Jeff—he’s sensitive.”
I held up my hands. “I wouldn’t dream of it, besides Jeff shouldn’t be punished for the actions of his owner.”
Will placed a bowl of steaming hot fettuccini in front of me. “You’re lucky I like you, Bambi. Most people would have been asked to leave by now.”
I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot, following him over to the couch.
He sat in the middle, his long legs stretching across the coffee table, leaving me to curl into the corner. “You wanna watch something else?” Will nodded to the TV which was currently on ESPN.
“I’m good. This is yummy by the way.”
“Thanks, they taught me to cook at the school for quarterbacks.”
“Wow, you making your own QB jokes now, huh?”
Will shrugged. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”
I laughed. “Seriously though, how’d you learn to cook?”
“My dad.”
“Really? Your dad?”
“Yeah, sort of. One day when I was about fourteen, my dad just invented this new rule that Sunday nights we had to cook for Mom.” He paused, laughing to himself. “He was doing it to try and give my mom a break, but the food was so bad for the first few months I’m pretty sure she hated it.”
I laughed. “I can’t imagine what my dad would do if mum wasn’t there to cook his dinners. He literally can’t boil an egg.”
“We ate soggy vegetables and burnt burger patties until Mom eventually convinced Dad to turn Sunday dinners into cooking lessons. Then once she was sure we weren’t going to poison anyone, each of us kids had to take a turn making dinner.” Will shrugged. “It sort of turned into a competition. Like everything did in our household, really.”
“I’ll have to thank your dad one day. It’s worked out well for me tonight.” I smiled at him over my bowl of pasta.
Both our heads turned to the TV at the sound of his name.
Onto the NFL and word around town is that star quarterback Will Jensen and his team have had one of their best pre-seasons yet. Are we finally going to see Jensen lead his team to victory and win that championship ring he’s so desperate for?
The show went to footage of the team training while the co-host took over.
That remains to be seen but I sure hope so. It’s not every day you see a player with as many accolades as Jensen without the championship ring from either the NFL or BCS. It’s gotta hurt. I mean, he came so close he could almost taste it back in 2003. A loss like that stays with you for life, let’s just hope he can finally make it up this year.
My gaze moved hesitantly over to Will as the hosts moved on to another story. I couldn’t imagine listening to yourself being spoken about on such familiar terms, having all your career ups and downs laid out for everyone to poke holes at. It was so…weird. Will, on the other hand, didn’t seem phased at all as he tucked into more pasta.
“Will?”
“Mmmm?” He kept his eyes on the TV.
“What’s the BCS?”
Sure enough when he looked over at me, he was grinning. “You really don’t know?”
I shrugged. “No, at least not as an acronym.”
“BCS National Championship. It’s like the college football equivalent of winning the Super Bowl.”
“Oh.” I mulled this over for a while. “And, you nearly won it in 2003?”
Will laughed, shaking his head. “Clearly you’re still no closer to Googling me.”
“No, I’m not, actually. If you must know, it feels kind of wrong now that I…well…know you.” I felt the blush spread across my cheeks as we both absorbed how well we almost knew one another a few weeks ago. I was half expecting that Will was going to take this unintentional opening I’d given him to try to turn the moment into something more, make his move as he so often had. But he didn’t and as I watched him through my own embarrassment, I could see when he’d made up his mind to steer us into safer territory.
He stood, leaned over me to grab my now-empty bowl and headed for the kitchen. I watched as he bent and deposited the dishes in the sink before turning around. I’m not sure what I expected to happen, but the look on his face clarified that my question was not something he wanted to revisit.
He shrugged, staring down at his feet. “The game was ours to win and I majorly fucked it up is basically what happened. I feel sick every time I think about it, which is a lot considering how often people bring it up.”
Will lifted his eyes to my face and it was clear that whatever casualness he’d displayed while watching the hosts relive his playing history was just a mask for his true feelings.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it. I…I’ll just google you…or something.”
Will shook his head, pushing off the counter to walk ba
ck to the couch. “I don’t want you to google me. I’d rather everything you hear about me come from me, not the internet…or some random person with a warped version of the truth.”
“I’d like that too.” I could only muster a weak smile, thinking of how much easier the past few weeks would have been if everything I’d heard that fateful night of the party had come from him.
Will opened and shut his mouth, changing his mind a few times before he finally spoke. “That stuff you heard from Bobbie, what I said about you in the locker room…” I held my breath as Will struggled to find the words he needed. “I know I shouldn’t have said it, but a few of the guys started talking about wanting a piece of you and for some reason, I just…did.”
“You don’t have to do this, Will. It’s really okay.”
Will shook his head. “No, I do. I want you to understand. I know I promised we wouldn’t have to talk about this, but I really need you to know.”
I nodded in consent to his plea.
“I didn’t even know you back then, you know? I’m never like that, I swear.”
“What, you mean possessive? Degrading to women?” I couldn’t help the edge in my voice.
He shrugged, looking somewhat sheepish. “Kind of, yeah.”
“Is that, I mean…was that all you were after?” I had to swallow back the memory of Bobbie’s words. “A fuck?”
“No!” Will looked horrified. “I mean, not once I started getting to know you. But, fuck, at the time, I wanted you like that. It was kind of all I could think about.”
We were both quiet, unsure where this awkward conversation was meant to go. I finally glanced at Will and he looked miserable. So much so that I wanted to crawl into his lap and tell him to pretend none of it ever happened.
“I’m so sorry, Em, for what it’s worth. I just need you to know it’s never been just about that for me, not since that first day we had lunch. And I hate that I ever let anyone think otherwise.”
I managed a small smile, not knowing what else to do. “On the bright side, at least none of the other guys have tried anything.”
“They fucking better not have.”
I laughed. “They haven’t. You have them well trained, Quarterback.”
He leaned back into the couch, the tension falling from his frame now that he’d finally said his piece. “You should go to bed, get some rest.”
I nodded, even though leaving him on the couch was the last thing I wanted to do. “I will, and thank you, for looking after me I mean.”
“Of course. I’m right next door if you need anything.”
I pulled myself up from the couch. “Okay, good night then. I’ll, um, see you in the morning.”
Will smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Night Em.”
#
After the day I’d had, I should have fallen asleep before my head even hit the pillow. But as I lay there in the unfamiliar room, all I could think of was Will next door, in a bed only a few meters from my own. Somehow, even though I’d had a near-death experience only a few hours before, he had once again consumed my thoughts. Even after all that had happened over the last few weeks, I still felt an underlying connection between us. The ease with which we just clicked was so comforting.
The only notable absence had been the crackling sexual tension that always accompanied the time we spent together. I couldn’t fault Will tonight…he’d been the perfect gentleman, the perfect concerned friend. But I couldn’t help feeling the loss of our usual flirtation and more than that, I missed feeling like he wanted me. I hadn’t realized how much I craved it until tonight, when it hadn’t been there. Will was such a sexual person in a way that was totally unintentional. Putting aside his looks, his charm and that raw maleness—even the way he moved his body was like a beacon, pulling me to him with a force I couldn’t ignore. I wanted him, no less than I had that night in Florida.
Having had some sense knocked into me at the party a couple of weeks ago, I was smart enough to know that Will certainly wasn’t going to be my happily ever after. And the severity of Mark’s warning earlier that week had shocked me—the knowledge of how much I was putting my career, my livelihood and that of others I cared about in jeopardy was terrifying. But lying in the hospital bed as I waited for my test results, I finally understood the true meaning of the saying life is short. Bad things didn’t always happen to strangers that you saw on TV; sometimes they happened to you. So if the car accident had made me realize anything, it was that sometimes you had to ignore the warnings and follow your gut.
I just had to hope after everything that had happened these past few weeks, he still wanted me that way too. One thing was for sure, I wasn’t leaving his apartment without finding out.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, willing myself to find the courage to go into the kitchen and lay my cards on the table to Will. Or just myself. I was hoping either option would give me the reaction I wanted.
I thumbed the edges of my oversized t-shirt, examining for the hundredth time whether any part of my butt was actually visible from behind and scrutinized how obvious my lack of a bra was. Ultimately I wanted it to be obvious. I wanted to send a message to Will, one that I knew I’d be too shy to voice in so many words. The message that said I absolutely don’t care about anything else but you, and the fact that I want you. Right. Now.
Straightening, I sucked in a long breath and prayed for the last time that I was on the right side of sultry without veering into desperate-ville. Making my way through the bedroom, I could hear the muffled sounds of Will moving around in the kitchen. I slid the doors open and winced at the gravelly sound they made along the floor.
“Hey, you’re up, I was just making…” I watched with glee as his jaw slackened and his eyes raked my body from top to bottom, returning for a second glance at my chest.
Job done t-shirt…message received.
“I, I was just making some breakfast.” Will blinked a few times, returning his focus back to the frypan. “Do you want some?”
I forced myself to walk forward, knowing that if I hesitated for even a second, I’d chicken out. Rounding the kitchen counter, I leaned across him to flick the stove off and felt his sharp intake of breath as I turned slowly, sliding myself into the almost non-existent gap between him and the edge of the counter.
“No, I don’t want any breakfast.” I met his wide eyes, his body was so close to mine I could feel the movement of his ribs on each inhale.
“Uh-uh.” He swallowed thickly. “What is it that you want?”
“You.”
“I can see that.” His eyes flickered down to my chest and my now very erect nipples.
I tentatively raised my hands to his hips, sliding a finger under his shirt to the warm skin below. Will closed his eyes, the slight tremor running through his arms the only giveaway to how tightly he was holding onto his self-control.
“What’s brought this on?”
My hands paused in their exploration while I waited for his eyes to find mine again. “I guess yesterday made me realize I shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.”
Will nodded, still standing so close, yet not close enough. I was aching for his touch, but I’d gotten us ninety percent of the way there and I needed to know he was with me.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” His big body folded over mine, still not touching as he placed a hand on the counter on either side of me. His lips were so close I could feel his breath on my skin.
“More than anything.”
He closed his eyes tight, almost like he was committing this exact moment to memory. I know I was.
I felt the graze of his stubble against my cheek as his mouth ran across my skin, over my ear and down along my neck, not kissing exactly, just teasing. I’m not sure what sent him over the edge, but when he met my eyes again, suddenly whatever was holding him back was gone.
His lips pressed down on mine, coaxing my mouth open as he sucked and
nibbled, grunting as our tongues met. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling my body flush against his, until I was left with absolutely no doubt that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
“I think you knew what this would do to me, didn’t you?” He tugged at the back of my t-shirt, pulling it taut across my chest.
I smiled into his mouth. “I do now.”
“You like seeing me come undone?”
His hands left my waist, sliding down around my thighs to lift me onto the countertop. He pulled away from the kiss. “Answer me.”
Will’s lips trailed a path down my neck and across my collarbone, pausing to suck on my pulse point. I swear to God, I was melting right there in the middle of his kitchen.
“I needed to see if you still wanted me, you know…like this.”
Will paused, straightening to meet my eyes. “You remember how much I wanted you the last time I did this?” His hands trailed slowly up my thighs, rubbing soft circles along the inside of my legs with his thumbs. I could only nod, all vocabulary gone out the window.
“I wanted you so much I almost felt you up in the middle of a night club.”
“I almost let you.”
He gave me a cocky grin. “You going to let me now?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
His thumbs finally made it to the apex of my thighs, sending a jolt of pleasure through me as they grazed across my underwear, rubbing in small, slow circles. His lips found mine again and he pulled every sound I made into his mouth, claiming them as if his own.
My hands reached up to grab hold of his hair as his fingers pulled aside my underwear to slide against bare skin.
“Fuuucckkk, you’re so soft…so…fuck.” He pushed one finger in, then two and within a few short minutes, I was shamelessly rubbing my hips against the palm of his hand.
“Slow down Bambi, I’ll take care of you.” He pulled back, his two fingers coming to rub against me in slow circles again.
He kept it up for endless minutes, his fingers making me all kinds of crazy to the point that I was so worked up, every tiny touch had me almost tumbling over the edge.
Almost…and he knew it.
“Will…I need…” I couldn’t get the words out, wasn’t sure what I was even trying to say as pleasure rolled through me.